A/N: Some of you wanted Todo to make an appearance in the story and give Yuuji emotional support (like in the manga/anime) Initially, I hadn't planned for Todo to make an appearance, but I liked that idea tbh! So, here he is! ^^

Disclaimer: Yuuji and Todo are NOT related in this story.

First Toji and then Maki and then Gojo and then Todo giving advice (and every time it's different advice) ...... Give me a break!!! 😭😭😭💓 I don't know how many more advices I can come up with!!! (I did this to myself tbh)

By the way ... something is happening in this chapter ...

Please read carefully 🥺👉👈

Chapter summary: Yuuji makes the first step. What will Megumi's reaction be?

—----------

Yuuji thought that Gojo was absolutely right about one particular thing:

Nothing was settled yet.

Nothing was settled yet between Yuuji and Megumi.

-------

Yuuji was outside the boys dormitory building, not having entered it yet.

There wasn't much left. He simply had to take a few steps forward and then upstairs and then, at the end of the hallway, there it was. His dorm room.

And Megumi.

Probably.

Yuuji wasn't even sure, if Megumi was in their room.

After leaving his childhood home, after that talk with Gojo, Yuuji had instantly gone back.

It was around 11 p.m., so chances were high that he would find Megumi in their room.

Unless ...

Unless Megumi had decided to sleep somewhere else today.

Or every day.

What if Megumi was the one who had switched dorm rooms in the end?

That fight they had yesterday ...

And that little talk today in the morning ...

It hadn't even been a real talk.

What if Megumi had come to the conclusion that they was no use anymore in trying?

Their fight yesterday had been so nasty after all.

Yuuji had not been willed to listen to Megumi, and Megumi had lashed out at Yuuji.

Things had been said. Nasty things.

Something in particular had been thrown as an accusation. A nasty thing.

And everything had ended in an unresolved chaos.

Was it redeemable? Fixable?

The way Yuuji had treated Megumi and their fight?

The way Megumi had handled his secret and their fight?

Was there a chance for both of them to finally talk things out?

Gojo had stated that nothing had been settled between Yuuji and Megumi yet.

When he said that, Yuuji had believed him.

He was still believing that ...

And, at the same time, Yuuji was having doubts.

Right now.

It wasn't about whether it was true that nothing was settled yet, but rather the question whether things could be fixed. And how.

The thought ... of facing and looking at Megumi while talking things out ... of being in the same room as Megumi for more than a few minutes ... of sincerely talking to Megumi ...

Could Yuuji do that?

Just like that?

After everything that had happened?

Their nasty fight from yesterday, Yuuji's hurried explanation earlier today in the morning, the fact that he and Megumi had not been able to talk things out so far; everything always ending in moments of either one or each of them yelling words at the other ...

How was Yuuji supposed to approach the issue? Unfortunately, he realized that he wasn't actually feeling very confident about it, his inner voice nagging and chanting pessimistic thoughts or outcomes.

So much was already ruined between them. If Yuuji failed this now, wouldn't that mean that nothing was fixable anymore?

Yuuji frowned as his own thoughts abused him ruthlessly. However, he slowly made his way inside the dorm bulding.

If chances are high for me to ruin everything in the end, Yuuji thought, not paying attention to his surroundings, then why am I even trying in the first pla—

Suddenly, he bumped into someone ... or something.

Yuuji raised his head shortly and realized that it had been someone rather than something.

Great.

He was already feeling like shit and now he had made it worse by ruining someone else's night with his clumsy act.

"It's okay," the stranger reassured.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

The second time, that stranger's voice reached Yuuji's ears like a tranquil softness.

Yuuji looked up once more and viewed the stranger again. The stranger was a big and broad man with seemingly tanned skin, his mid-short, dark hair tied up and a scar running across his left eye. A genuine smile was grazing his masculine face.

"What are you doing here, kid? Shouldn't you be inside your dorm room? There are curfews," the stranger said, smirking pleasantly.

Yuuji didn't stop feeling horrible, but at the same time he couldn't bite back a certain comment as a reply.

He gave a crooked smile.

"Same goes for you, dude."

The stranger laughed wholeheartedly and shook a finger in a chiding way.

"I'm not a student anymore. I've already graduated. I visited my little brother. He's in his last year."

"I see ..."

And then, just like that, Yuuji went back to sulking and pitying himself, darkness surrounding his mind once more.

The stranger noticed how Yuuji's demeanor had altered. He gazed at the younger student, wearing a kind smile, placing his hands on both sides of his hips.

"What's up?" he asked.

Yuuji scrunched his brows.

"We don't even know each other," he mumbled.

Why would a practical stranger want to hear about his struggles anyway?

The stranger breathed out a single chuckle, amused by Yuuji's defensive behavior.

"Ahhhh, that's okay. I'm Todo. Call me Todo." Todo pressed a thumb against his chest. "If someone looks upset, Todo will not look away."

Yuuji wasn't really convinced by that.

On the one hand, he didn't want to bother a stranger with his problems. On the other hand, he was starting to think more about doing exactly that for certain reasons.

Perhaps ... unburdening oneself to someone who wasn't actively involved in his issue in any way was a good way for Yuuji to find a way out of this mental dead end.

Yuuji wanted to talk to Megumi, but his spirits weren't restored. They were basically in shambles.

And yet, self-conscious about the whole thing, Yuuji couldn't bring himself to reveal his most intimate problem to someone he met seconds ago — for the first time ever. It felt too invasive, too bothering and too personal.

Todo noticed Yuuji's hesitation of course.

"Is it about your studies?" he questioned cautiously, his tone always considerate.

Yuuji averted his eyes, pouting.

It wasn't about his studies, but perhaps ...

"Are you a first year?" Todo went on, crossing his arms in front of his broad, well-defined chest.

Yuuji nodded.

Perhaps this was the solution.

Yuuji didn't have to spill all of his most personal struggles to someone he was not friends with, but ... he could talk about it in a more general sense? Pretending that it was his studies he was talking about and struggling with? Whatever Todo's advice on Yuuji's 'studies' would be, perhaps Yuuji could transfer that advice onto his actual problem?

Being certain that a stranger's opinion might help him out, Yuuji was willing to give it a try at least.

Still pouting, he said in a low voice, "I feel ... I don't know, for some time there was a sense of failure that overtook me. And I think that I'm still feeling that way ..."

Yuuji made a pause — considering that the stranger might not even be as sympathetic as he made himself out to be, expecting to be laughed or ridiculed at, his mind tricking him into imagining into worst-case scenarios.

Todo, however, was attentively listening, wearing an expression of understanding and support.

Yuuji noticed that as he looked into Todo's face for a longer while. His confidence slightly restored, he was fine with going on.

"I'm trying, but I'm not really getting there. Anywhere. I'm trying, but I'm failing. No matter what I do or how I do it or how I try ... it doesn't work out and in the end ... I feel like giving up. Even though I don't want to, I feel like giving up is better than trying."

Yuuji was thinking back to the last few days ...

He had wanted to make the group project work out, but it had ended in a fight.

He had wanted to listen to Megumi's explanation, but it had ended in a fight.

He had given Megumi another chance to explain himself, but (for whatever reason) Megumi had not felt like taking that chance, and Yuuji had had enough of it, thinking that that would be the end and no words had to be exchanged between them anymore.

Which was why Yuuji has absolutely refused to listen to whatever Megumi had wanted to say yesterday.

And then, right after, their biggest fight had happened and escalated.

And Yuuji had thought that nothing could be done about it anymore.

Gojo had told him that things could be fixed because there was still that theoretical chance of talking things out calmly and in a civilized manner. But if Yuuji wasn't feeling confident enough to at least try it, then that attempt couldn't take place.

"Studying for university is much more different than studying for school, right?" Todo claimed in a casual manner.

Yuuji was about to ask what the hell he was talking about before realizing that he himself had decided to wrap his actual problem into a problem about his studies.

Yuuji scratched his hair, looking down at the tip of his shoes, a little restless as he stood in place.

"Yeah ..." he admitted, and his admission actually applied to both.

He was struggling with his problem about Megumi, but his studies weren't exactly a nice sight either.

"Don't look down, raise your head!" Todo announced encouragingly, his tone on a higher volume.

Yuuji raised his head only slowly, frowning and not convinced that it would make any difference right now.

Todo placed a hand on Yuuji's shoulder and squeezed it once. Yuuji was looking at Todo only reluctantly.

"Confidence comes from within! Don't belittle yourself. Don't think lowly of yourself. So what if the first few tries didn't work out? The key to success lies in not letting yourself and your confidence get dragged by your problem. If you want something, first you need to be willed to get it. And if you're willed to get something, you're able to think about the next steps that you need to take. Think about your next steps. Never forget. If you try again, it's a new step you're making. It's your first step over again. And that's nothing to be ashamed of. Believe in yourself and do your best. It's all about truly believing in yourself and the things that make you feel strong and confident. Put trust in yourself. Believe in making your efforts worth it at some point. But that can only happen, if you take it seriously. Take everything you want to achieve seriously. No half-assed attempts. You won't think much about giving up, once you realize that the one who entrusted you with doing well is ... yourself."

Yuuji blinked, letting that speech rain over him generously. Todo's eager eyes detected a change within Yuuji before Yuuji was even realizing that change of his.

"Those studies won't be able to drag you down, if you have confidence and willpower. And let me tell you this: I don't care if we don't know each other for long, I believe in you, too!!"

And then, eventually, Yuuji got it. Todo's words were true. Both of them had been thinking about different matters, but Todo's encouragement was actually helping Yuuji out.

Yuuji finally felt like being able to put some ideas in the right place.

He was going to give it a try.

Even if his first attempt – his first step – wasn't perfect or the best start, at least there was a start.

A first step to the right direction.

And from then on he could work it out.

Because, from then on, it wouldn't be only Yuuji anymore. It would be Yuuji and Megumi going that path and making the next steps.

They could work it out from then on.

Yuuji had to try.

A wave of light goosebumps rippling over his skin, he began to sense changes within himself. His chest was tingling and – deep down – his heart was probably beating in a more stabilized manner.

The biggest parts of his nervousness were replaced by mounting layers of resolution.

Even if Yuuji's first step didn't turn out satisfactory, at least – from then on – he wouldn't be alone with his feelings anymore.

Right?

Yuuji thought that this was right — this was exactly how he was thinking about it right now.

And he was finally determined to actually do what had been long overdue.

One of them had to make the first step.

Yuuji had denied Megumi to do that, so now it was Yuuji who would have to make up for it by making that first step himself.

It will most likely be a bumpy attempt, but it will be executed.

Yuuji had been holding his head high for a while, but it was only now that he could hold his head high with ... confidence.

"T-Thank—" Yuuji swallowed hard, once. "Thank you, Todo."

Todo noticed the finely built-up resolution in Yuuji's voice, causing the older to grin happily. He raised a fist in their air.

"Of course! I would never let anyone of my little brothers down! Good luck, I'm wishing you the best!"

Todo patted Yuuji's shoulders encouragingly and winked to bid farewell. Yuuji smiled to that, nodding once and then twice; the last two nods inhabiting firmness.

With that, Todo went away, a sense of accomplishment resting on his own shoulders.

Yuuji was trailing within his own little bubble, holding onto his resolution and confidence sternly.

A few seconds passed before Yuuji finally noticed it.

"Wait ..." he wondered, his head jerking as he turned to the direction that Todo had walked away in. "What did you call me?"

Little brother?!

***

It was past 11 p.m.

Megumi had finished writing and submitting the conceptual draft for the group project of which the deadline was today. Even though other stuff had been on his mind, he was desperate about passing that joint class ...

This was the worst academic submission Megumi had ever created. He had never submitted something as bad as this before. Not once had he been able to focus on the project, always slipping back to the conviction that his life as a med student was currently a messy wreck. A damn wreck meant to sink and drown in the depths of the ocean. He had submitted the project before the deadline nonetheless, though.

And he had put Yuuji's name on the first page of the draft too — next to his own name. Megumi hadn't thought much about that – he didn't know why he had done that – he'd just done it. He doubted that Yuuji would be working with him on that group project any longer and yet not putting his name on it had felt so weird.

Perhaps it was because of the guilt.

Yuuji had claimed to drop out of this project because of Megumi. Because of what Megumi had said to him.

No matter what it was, it wasn't like Yuuji's name on that submission was anything great.

Megumi was sure that he had failed that assignment anyway.

To make it worse, Megumi had wasted yet another day where he had failed at studying properly for his classes. Yet another day where he thought that he hadn't made any progress with his studies. As a med student, that was actually a catastrophe.

As he was sat on his bed, squeezing his white rabbit plushie in his hand restlessly, he was wondering just how much longer he'd have to go through this.

How much longer was he going to be a failure at something that he'd dreamt of for so long? It had been his deceased mom's illness that had spurned him on to study medicine and become a doctor. He wanted to tend to as many sick people as he could. And now it seemed like his dream was falling apart.

At this point, it wouldn't be a suprise to him, if – in reality – it was his whole life that was slipping through his fingers — down the slope towards a dark abyss.

That white bunny plushie of his was the last thing of his mom's that Megumi had in his possession. Since what seemed like forever would people come and go in his life, but his mom would always stay. Always be with him. Megumi had never minded those people coming and going; as long as his mother was with him.

But right now ... for a while now ... he had made the realization that he did mind it that everyone would always come and go, come and go, come and go in his life.

Megumi had changed.

Megumi had changed a lot.

His emotional self wasn't the same anymore.

He wasn't as apathetic anymore.

Megumi used to feel indifferent to many things. He used to care little about feelings and emotions and sentiments ... and people. But now ...

Megumi had to get it out of his system. He had to free himself from the inside, revealing his sentiments. In front of Yuuji.

It was like wings wanting to spread and flap and soar into the sky as they left everything behind.

The burden.

So much freedom.

Emotional freedom.

Megumi was truthful, genuine, honest and serious to people he cared about.

And now ... Which means ...

He had to say it. Out loud. The truth. His feelings. Everything he hadn't said yet. Everything that was unsaid and resting like a burdening curse.

Megumi had to tell Yuuji because ...

Because there was someone who he had wished for staying. He was so selfish about it. He wanted that person to stay. That person had been on his mind – for better of for worse – the most lately. He had never experienced something like that before. When his mom died, he had thought about her and grieved for her.

But this person ...

Megumi had never felt that kind of way about anyone else before.

People came and went, but Megumi wished for him to stay. He was so selfish about that.

Because—

The door to Megumi's dorm room was opened with a key.

Yuuji came back, slowly entering the room. Megumi gave him one quick glance before drawing his attention to his plushie again.

However, the manner in which Yuuji was entering their shared room – softly closing the door, slowly turning to face Megumi, silently watching him – had Megumi think differently about the situation.

Within seconds he understood that he didn't have to ignore Yuuji or look away to prevent another fight from happening. Because it wouldn't happen anymore. Megumi didn't waste a moment to stand up and look at Yuuji with longing affection in his eyes.

Everything about and around and inside Yuuji seemed to radiate receptive patience.

And at that exact moment, Megumi was yearning for those things. The taste of closeness and affection he had been able to experience for a little while. The closeness and affection he never wanted to lose again. Because they made him feel something. They made him feel something he'd always thought he would never need. The experience of closeness and affection made him understand what it meant to cherish someone. What it meant to open up to and share moments with someone precious.

A significant other.

"I want to ask you something," Yuuji began, his voice hollow and deep. "I need to ask you that."

Megumi wasn't sure if this was bad (and how bad it was). But he wasn't pretending when he thought that Yuuji's tone was kind of ... off. Yuuji wasn't talking rudely and yet Megumi couldn't shake off the feeling that Yuuji was keeping a distance to Megumi — emotionally, at least.

And that was enough to shatter Megumi's hope.

Was this a final conversation between them that Yuuji needed to have with Megumi to finally get his closure?

Or was Megumi interpreting Yuuji's voice the wrong way?

Why did it feel like things were coming to an end between them then?

There was this bittersweet feeling that started to spread in Megumi's chest.

Megumi didn't understand and at the same time he was internally revolting against the idea of not being able to reach out to Yuuji anymore. He didn't want things to end between them because ... because—

"When you did it with him the second time ... were you regretting it back then?"

That question was enough to throw Megumi off guard emotionally.

It was over ... right?

Yuuji was willing to talk to Megumi because he wanted to end things between them completely, right??

Crestfallen, Megumi lowered his head. That question was the final blow, having the power to destroy everything.

"Were you regretting it back then?" Yuuji insisted emotionlessly.

Megumi shook his head.

A little period of silence.

"I fucking knew it," Yuuji whispered to himself.

And Megumi was able to hear that.

It was over. That was what was going through Megumi's head. It was over. It was over, it was over, it was over.

"Do you regret it now?" Yuuji went on with a calm and collected manner.

Head still lowered, Megumi pressed his lips together and nodded. If he were to open his mouth and try to say something, he would only manage to have his lips tremble and be too useless to utter any words.

What Megumi didn't know was that Yuuji hadn't asked these question to humiliate or ridicule him. It had rather been a case of self-interest — to satisfy his own little curiosity.

The things that were actually important to Yuuji were coming now.

"Did you ever regret not having told me about you and him while we were dating?"

Megumi's whole body felt different. His emotional side was storming, sizzling and building, making his body react to it physically.

Megumi nodded.

He could feel his body reacting, especially his face. His eyes.

I've regretted it ever since the weekend trip, Yuuji.

As his body began to tremble lightly, his face distorted. He closed his eyes to keep the wetness away.

"Anything else?" Yuuji asked, most of his emotions still locked away. "Wanna say something?"

Why was Yuuji keeping that part of himself hidden? Megumi was desperate to know. Because of me, wasn't it?

Was Megumi's voice strong enough to be audible? His tears were threatening to spill any second.

'Anything else?' Yuuji had asked.

Yes, Megumi thought. There is.

'I'm sorry.'

"I love you, Yuuji."

—----

A/N: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

MEGUMI'S FIRST EVER (ROMANTIC) LOVE CONFESSION 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

What do you think about that? That last scene and the chapter as a whole?

Not really the best moment to confess to Yuuji, right? 🤣

How is Yuuji gonna react to that?!?!?

(I wonder, I wonder ... 🤔)

Comments about this chapter are very much appreciated!!!!

What do you think about Megumi's love confession at a time like this??? 🤭

(This fic has reached 100k words with this chapter!!! Yay!!)