A/N: This chapter is the beginning of the second half of the story! The fic will have 27 chapters in total!

Hello, everyone! Welcome to the angst train! It's going to be a looooong ride (chapters)

(Be prepared! Chapter will end in a nasty cliffhanger!!)

Chapter summary: Megumi's guilt is wrecking him from the inside.

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Megumi sobbed into the pillow, hard and unrestrained, and didn't stop for a long while.

The sobs were the only thing echoing in this lonely room; caused by a young, remorseful student who had done a mistake.

Many mistakes.

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Megumi felt bad. Constantly.

On their ride back to the dorms he had used the excuse of exhaustion to avoid interacting with Yuuji.

The next two days Megumi had told Yuuji that he was feeling sick, as though a cold was approaching. It was a lie. But since they had ended up standing under the rain at that treasure hunt, Megumi had been able to easily use that excuse to avoid Yuuji for a few days.

Now, Megumi couldn't do that anymore.

It was Wednesday and Megumi had, in fact, not gotten a cold. He was sitting at his desk, mindlessly scrolling through lecture slides and highlighting random lines. He wasn't studying or reading text paragraphs.

He couldn't bear it.

The guilt.

It was too unbearable.

Behind him, Yuuji was packing some clothes. He had told Megumi earlier that he would go on an excursion that was offered to pharmacy students. From today on until Friday. Megumi had secretly been more than glad that Yuuji would be away for a while.

Because it meant that Megumi had a few more days where he could avoid his boyfriend.

Megumi really couldn't bear it.

Pretending that everything was fine and alright and jolly with their relationship when there was that big secret between them. Hidden away and screeching to be released until Megumi would finally crack the door open to the revelation and free the truth. For Yuuji.

Could Megumi do that?

Megumi couldn't do it.

Could he do it?

Megumi had to.

He had to do it.

But ... he didn't know how. He didn't know when. He didn't know, if he could tell Yuuji the truth in an as gentle a way as possible.

Yuuji zipped up his travel bag. "Done," he said, buoyant and smiling, giving his bag a slap, "I'll have to meet up with the other students for the excursion in an hour."

Yuuji turned around. He had directed those words rather to Megumi than to himself. Yuuji blinked silently upon seeing Megumi not replying. He had noticed earlier that Megumi had been quite unresponsive today.

Megumi was sat on his chair and not moving. Yuuji doubted that the other was seriously studying at the moment. He couldn't really believe that because Megumi seemed too distracted by something to be actually studying.

Worried, Yuuji sat down on his bed, his elbows on his thighs and his hands threaded together nervously. Yuuji was trying to put the pieces together by himself instead of asking.

It was Wednesday. Last week on the same day everything had been alright between them. There had been midterms exams they had to worry about, but Megumi hadn't been acting that way last week.

This week, Megumi had not once acted his usual way. First, there was Megumi keeping his distance to Yuuji because he had thought that he might be getting a cold. Then it turned out to be a false alarm. Megumi had claimed that it must have been a little chill he had temporarily suffered from.

Now, after knowing that there was no cold or other kind of sickness impending, Megumi was still behaving weirdly.

Yuuji wondered about that.

The thing that linked the last week with the current week was the weekend in between. The weekend where all of them had gone to that trip in the woods.

The trip where Megumi and Yuuji had come closer as boyfriends.

The trip where Megumi and Yuuji had ... done it.

Yuuji couldn't hold back from asking himself questions.

There had been that weekend, that trip, those moments they had spent together intimately, and now Megumi was acting oddly ...

Was it ... Was it what Yuuji feared it was?

Yuuji's fingers tightened against each other, his hands clenching together.

"You ..." Yuuji started hesitantly, his voice wavering, "You w-wanted it ... right? You ... wanted do it ... with me, I mean ... right? You wanted it, too, right?"

By the end, Yuuji's voice had lost all of its courage.

Megumi's straying pen halted over his tablet. He refused to turn around. He couldn't ... face Yuuji. He couldn't look at him. He just ... couldn't.

Yes.

Yes, I wanted it, too.

That's why I feel so bad now.

"... Yes," Megumi responded weakly at last.

Yuuji was alarmed. "You hesitated."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Yuuji was by Megumi's side in a hurry. He looked at his boyfriend with endless doubts and uncertainties that were taking over his mind and body.

Megumi wasn't reacting in any way. It was merely his pen swaying from one side to the other in his hand.

Yuuji wanted to place an arm on Megumi's shoulder. Was it okay to touch him? What was going through Megumi's mind? Yuuji was helpless. He felt like he had done everything wrong, but couldn't even tell what 'everything' was. What 'everything' could be.

In the end, he did place a hand on Megumi's shoulder.

Megumi shrugged the hand off. His teeth were gnawing at his bottom lip, but that was nothing compared to the guilt mercilessly gnawing at his mind. With every passing second Megumi felt like he was making things worse.

And he couldn't even stop doing it.

"It's about my midterm exams," he lied, "I think I didn't do well on them at all."

Yuuji was mute for a second. "Your—"

Megumi felt like he needed to touch up his lie. "I pulled so many all-nighters for these exams, but now I'm sure that they are the cause for my bad results. And if I hadn't pulled those all-nighters, I wouldn't have studied enough and everything would have ended in bad results as well."

"Did you already get them back? Your results?"

Megumi shook his head. "Not yet. But I know they are going to be bad. I hate it. Those midterms ... I know I didn't do well enough as a med student."

Yuuji wasn't feeling relief, but he was glad that Megumi had finally voiced out his worries. He hugged Megumi from behind, crooning, "You don't need to agonize over the results. Those were your first midterm exams ever. You couldn't tell beforehand how they were going to be like. You have more exams ahead of you. More chances to do better. And, anyway, I think you did well. All-nighters suck, but these midterms showed you how you can improve. Hm?"

Megumi turned his face away from Yuuji as much as he could. His shoulders hunched ruefully.

Megumi's upsetness had Yuuji change plans pretty much naturally. "I'll stay. I won't go to that excurs—"

"No!" Megum cleared his throat, covering his eyes with a hand. "No, don't miss out on that excursion because of me. There's not much you can do for me. The exams are over, all I can do is wait for the results."

"Still. I could try to cheer you up," Yuuji suggested candidly.

Megumi's inner self was whining. Yuuji was so sweet to him, and Megumi couldn't deal with it. He was stuck in an abyss of dilemma.

"It'll pass. The weekend trip ..."

That was when things changed. For me. About us. My life. My feelings, Megumi remembered.

"That weekend trip was right after our last midterm. That's probably why I didn't waste any thoughts on the results yet. Now I am doing exactly that and there's nothing else for me to do than to endure my self-doubts before I can go back to my usual self. You don't have to stay here with me for that. It won't last long, I'm sure. Once I'm over it, I'll go back to studying anyway. There's no need for you to watch me do that. That excursion will be more useful to you." Megumi finished with a smile that was barely there, the upcurve of his lips flimsy.

Yuuji's face showed off deep indecisiveness.

Megumi lightly shoved him away, his broken smile a phantom. "I'm serious. Don't skip that excursion."

Yuuji shifted in place. He then got an idea and stared at his half of the room. Face brightening up resolutely now, he walked to his wardrobe.

Megumi didn't swivel around to see what Yuuji was doing. Instead, he didn't budge from his seat, gloomily drawing circles on the page he had opened on his tablet.

"Here," Yuuji said, raising one of Megumi's arms and making him wear something. It was Yuuji's red varsity jacket. His most favorite clothing piece. Megumi had worn it once already. Back then, for Nobara's birthday party. "Remember what happened that night when you were wearing this? After Nob's party." Yuuji couldn't help blushing at that thought involuntarily.

Yeah, Megumi remembered it, too.

Easier times ...

But at the same time it must have also been the cause for ... this.

The very thing Megumi and Yuuji had become. Boyfriends.

Megumi had pulled away many times, but fate had pulled him back every damn time.

A fateful meeting after indulging in an act of physical fulfillment for the first time in life.

A fated thriving of a relationship after a repetition of the same act of physical fulfillment.

Megumi used to think that he had been pleased with everything that had happened in his life so far. That there would be nothing in the past he would be questioning afterwards.

But now he knew better.

Megumi wasn't just part of a predicament, he was the center of it. The leading role.

"A little comfort: No matter what your results are gonna be, mine will be worse for sure." Yuuji laughed to himself because this couldn't be anything else but true. Megumi, however, wasn't reacting to that lightheartedly at all, so Yuuji went for another consoling approach. He rubbed Megumi's arms with fondness. "I might be away on that excursion, but I'm still here for you, okay? That's why I gave you my jacket. I'm here for you, Megs. Wear this and think of good things instead of your exams, okay? Think of me. Us."

'Good things' and 'us' couldn't go well together in Megumi's world.

Megumi was holding something captive that Yuuji needed to know about.

A confession.

Megumi eventually nodded. He didn't nod to anything in particular. He nodded to cease the conversation.

He didn't want any more of this. Today.

Megumi was exhausted. From the inside.

It was his fault. And he was exhausted.

Yuuji gave Megumi's spiky, black hair a ruffle. "You can always message me. Or call me. We can chat or talk whenever. Don't hesitate to reach out to me. Okay?"

"Have fun," Megumi's voice graveled faintly.

Yuuji left Megumi alone in their room, still with some qualms at the pit of his stomach, after planting a long kiss on top of Megumi's head.

Once he found himself in meager solitude, Megumi's inner tension lifted, but his inner pain multiplied in magnitudes.

Megumi dropped his head and covered his face with his hands. He sighed into them, heavily.

It hurt.

It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

It wasn't physical pain.

His conscience hurt.

Megumi was battling with himself. With his own thoughts. His own self that was cruelly keeping him in a state of unapologetic torment.

The excruciating feelings pulled him to his feet. His studies – which he hadn't been taking seriously in the first place – were deserted, and Megumi dropped onto his bed. He hid his face behind the sleeves of Yuuji's clothing.

Megumi remained in that position for a while, not even making efforts to bring his clustered thoughts and feelings to order.

Yuuji was gone for two days, until Friday, and there was no way Megumi would be able to get a grip on himself until then.

Megumi lowered his arms. He buried his nose into the collar of Yuuji's varsity jacket. He took a shallow breath, but when Yuuji's scent started to course through Megumi's system, his mind short-circuited and the shallow breath turned into a deep one, and Megumi almost burst into tears.

Restraints were keeping him pathetically together – barely and uselessly – preventing Megumi from being overflown with tantalizing emotions.

Thus, the only thing left was to wallow in self-pity. Undeserving self-pity.

Three days had passed since then.

Three says since ... Megumi had done it. With Yuuji.

The very thing he should have stayed away from.

Three days since Megumi had begun to value Yuuji differently — as a person and ... boyfriend ...

What should he do?

How should he do it?

During those days in which Yuuji was away – no matter what – Megumi would change clothes or put on clothes and then always wear Yuuji's varsity jacket on top. Megumi was clinging to that jacket.

Megumi was clinging to Yuuji.

Desperately.

Fretfully.

Vainly ... ?

The next day, on Thursday, Megumi got a message from Yuuji.

[11:39 a.m.] how are u today?? :)

Megumi felt horrible.

He knew what he would reply with, but he waited a few minutes nonetheless. As though a few minutes could mend him, his guilt, his life.

[11:46 a.m.] i feel better now actually

Lies.

So many lines.

Megumi had told Yuuji so many lies ever since coming back from the weekend trip. It was wrecking him. Not a day had passed by in which Megumi had been able to be truthful to Yuuji — his boyfriend.

He tossed his phone away and opened his anatomy book. Megumi could not once recall the things he had "studied" this week.

It was a hopeless case.

The next morning, Megumi ridiculously busied himself by trying to get his act together before Yuuji would come back.

Megumi wasn't fine. At all.

He spent hours to calm his nervousness and hide his pain.

Hiding his pain ... until when?

Megumi didn't know.

He was lost in his own despair.

But he mustn't let Yuuji notice that.

Yuuji told him via message when he'd be back. So, right before his arrival, Megumi sat on his desk again and began working through assignments. If he pretended to have to rack his brain about something regarding his studies, discomfort wouldn't appear so strange on him. Yuuji knew by now how tedious med school could be for Megumi.

Not much later, Yuuji's key turned in the lock and the cheerful pink-haired boy opened the door to their dorm room.

"Crazy," was Yuuji's first comment, "I've come back to our room spotting you study more than seeing you chill or live your life." Yuuji chuckled.

"Welcome back," Megumi replied calmly. He hoped for his voice to be calm and unshaken.

Yuuji dropped his bag carelessly. He didn't waste time hugging Megumi from behind, nosing Megumi's neck. He peppered that spot with decorous kisses. "Missed you. Are you okay? I mean ... for real?"

Megumi didn't let himself get affected by Yuuji's physical affections. He quickly ran a hand through Yuuji's hair. "Yes, I am." Megumi attempted a comfortable huff. "It's okay. I'm okay. At least now I know how to do better on my next exams. Well, I think I know now."

"To me, you're always doing great, Meg."

"How was the excursion?" Megumi would rather not talk about himself at the moment.

Yuuji sighed heavily. "Dunno. Don't ask." He let go of his boyfriend and plumbed down on Megumi's bed. "I don't know what or if I learnt anything on that excursion."

Megumi gave a short huff of laughter.

"However ..." Yuuji scratched his head and cast a vague glance at Megumi, "some of the pharm students I went with have decided on the whim to go on a road trip to another state over the weekend. They invited me to go with them ..."

"Okay. When are you going?" Megumi looked at Yuuji for a few seconds, not understanding that there was hesitation going through Yuuji's mind. When he had his eyes on his studies again, he finally realized the hesitation that had sprawled out on Yuuji face, so he whipped his head back towards him. "I'm fine. Really. You can go on that road trip with them."

So many lies.

After all these days that had passed, Megumi would always stray further away from being 'fine'.

"You can come with me, if you want," Yuuji suggested casually, but he meant every word.

"No," Megumi was quick with that answer and then his tone took on a firm touch, "And don't try to convince me. I'm really not interested in stuff like that at the moment."

Yuuji understood. He didn't push further. "Alright, alright. I'll be going in a few hours." Yuuji walked up to Megumi once more, hugging him from behind once more. He slipped his hands under Megumi's shirt and repeated insinuatingly, "In a few hours."

Every other time, if the circumstances had been differently, Megumi would have given in to Yuuji's luring suggestion.

Instead, he muttered, "Sorry." It was a surprise that Yuuji hadn't really noticed Megumi stiffening under Yuuji's touch. "I'm dealing with a difficult part of my assignment right now. Don't wanna lose the thread, you know?"

Yuuji retreated his hands. "Oh, I understand. Don't worry. I was just suggesting."

"Next time, okay?" Megumi attempted to salvage.

What 'next time'? Megumi's inner voice lamented, As long as I keep being a cowardly idiot, there won't be anything happening! Neither good things nor bad things.

"I'll pack my stuff and meet up with the others then," Yuuji said.

"Enjoy your road trip."

When Yuuji was ready to go, he gave Megumi a kiss. A lovely kiss. When they parted, Megumi felt the worst again.

Because he didn't deserve that kiss.

However, as soon as Yuuji left the room, Megumi felt a twisted form of relief. A flickering feeling bordering on something that Megumi deemed good. Because ...

Megumi had two more days in which he could avoid Yuuji again.

And so he did. Avoiding Yuuji ...

... but at the same time suffering from his own thoughts.

Everything was falling apart and Megumi would hold onto an anchor by wearing Yuuji's most favorite jacket.

He didn't want to lose Yuuji.

Would he lose Yuuji?

Megumi didn't want to lose him ...

It was finally Sunday. Megumi still didn't want to encounter his boyfriend (since nothing was alright for him yet), so he escaped to the library late in the evening until close to midnight. He even messaged Yuuji to tell him that he wouldn't have to wait for Megumi and – almost forgetting to do so – asked him how the road trip had been.

Megumi's mind and emotions were killing him from the inside — to the point that he couldn't even function properly anymore.

There was something that wanted to get out of Megumi's system.

A confession.

On Monday morning, Megumi woke up after Yuuji, facing the wall, but barely moving. Yuuji was getting ready for his classes, walking around in his room, grabbing clothes or keys or his bag.

Megumi rubbed his eyes once, and Yuuji's caught sight of that.

"Oh, you're finally awake," Yuuji's voice was sweet, "Don't you wanna get ready?"

Megumi stayed motionless, lethargic and miserable, pulling the blanket up to the bottom half of his face.

Megumi didn't want to lie anymore. "I'll stay in bed a little longer. Study session was really tiring yesterday. Go ahead. I'll join you later." But he kept lying. Megumi had stayed in that library for hours, but – just like all the other times that week – he hadn't gotten much done. It was indeed a hopeless case.

As long as Megumi wouldn't ...

Megumi sighed.

Yuuji didn't realize that Megumi's mood was deeply affected by something that was much worse than wanting to catch up on a few more minutes of sleep.

"Okay, fine. I'll go ahead then. Don't be late, though. It's our joint class. You know how the prof is like. He's gonna give you extra work, if you come late." The last thing Yuuji did was pocket his phone.

Megumi blinked slowly several times. "... I know." He was mildly relieved that his morning voice glossed over his weak mental composure. That way, he could avoid Yuuji possibly getting attentive about Megumi's demeanour which would then lead to him asking prying questions.

But how much longer could Megumi avoid him and things and ... everything?

Yuuji left the room, but not before regarding Megumi with a question mark in his mind and a frown on his face. Yuuji did wonder ... But he had no idea if and how far-fetched his assumptions were. For now, he wouldn't do or say anything, but Yuuji was worried — at least a bit.

Shortly after Yuuji had closed the door behind him, Megumi stood up.

He was mulling things over and at the same time his head was empty.

Hurriedly, he freshened up in the bathroom and put on his clothes. Yuuji's red jacket was lying on Megumi's bed.

Today ...

Megumi couldn't do it.

He couldn't.

He couldn't wear that jacket today.

Because ...

When Megumi left his room, he had enough time to go to his joint class.

Megumi didn't, though.

Instead, he walked on campus, aimlessly, until he settled on stairs in front of the entrance to one of the faculty buildings.

That was all he did for a while. Sitting somewhere outside. Not many students were walking around campus at a time like this. Megumi heard how his phone was receiving an incoming message, but he didn't check it.

Right now, he'd be sitting in his joint class. Together with Yuuji.

Toge found him by chance, looking at him with an almost emotionless face.

Megumi looked at him, presenting a weak smile.

"Skipping classes, too?" he said, and attempted to sound easygoing.

"Free period," Toge replied casually.

Damn, I gave myself away.

Toge sat down next to Megumi, silently. He stretched his legs and leant back a bit, his arms supporting his upper body.

They didn't say anything for a good amount of time.

"Why are you skipping classes?" Toge's voice was neat, but soft.

Megumi's finger traced the shape of his eye absentmindedly. "Need to think. Can't do that when the prof is holding a lecture."

Toge hummed acknowledgingly.

Somehow, the silence was too defeaning to Megumi. He needed to fill it with words. Anything. "I don't even know your major."

"Chemical engineering," Toge replied, content with his own choice of major, and asked back, "You're a med student, right?"

Megumi gave a slow nod, a whirl of negativity overcoming him again.

"Crazy ..." Toge was evidently impressed. "Wouldn't want to trade my life with yours, you know."

I wouldn't want to trade my life with myself either, Megumi thought to himself.

Toge then let a few moments of silence pass.

"What's up?"

Megumi didn't say anything, deep in thoughts and failing at keeping the remorse from spilling over. His countenance was surprisingly calm, considering just how much of an uproar was residing within him.

Suddenly, he felt the need to listen to someone else's story. Just anything to distract him from his own crumbling life.

"When did you and Yuuta start dating? And how? Did it just happen or ...?"

Toge blinked at Megumi. He was making conclusions in his head without voicing them out ... for now.

"When we were first years. Just like you two. I didn't have any friends and would always sit alone in class or at lunch. Yuuta noticed that one day and offered me to hang out with him. He didn't have anyone besides Maki. We grew to like each other like that. So, yeah. It kinda just happened."

Megumi closed his eyes. A typical love story between two people. A normal love story between two people.

"Dude, did you cheat on him?" Toge blurted out the thing he couldn't keep to himself anymore.

"Huh? No! It's not about Yuuji and me." Another lie. "It's about me." ... and Yuuji.

Toge waited. Trying to find out whether Megumi would elaborate without being animated to do so. Megumi didn't. "I really thought it was something like that." Toge didn't get a reaction. "Want to talk?"

Megumi slowly shook his head.

Toge respected that and rested a hand on Megumi's back, giving a few reassuring strokes. He abided next to Megumi for a while and then left to give the other some space, cheering him on in his own peculiar way with a "You got this."

Shortly after Toge had departed, Megumi went back to his dorm room. He was exhausted – mentally – so he lied down on his bed, on his back, eyes on the ceiling.

He couldn't keep them in control anymore.

For the first time ever Megumi let his thoughts whiz in his mind without restraints. They were cruel. Persistent. Rabid.

The guilt was eating away at Megumi ruthlessly.

If they had stayed no more than roommates, there wouldn't have been any guilt gnawing at his mind.

But with how things had developed between Megumi and Yuuji, Megumi couldn't keep silent anymore.

He had kissed Yuuji.

He had touched Yuuji.

He had slept with Yuuji.

Megumi should have stayed roommates with him. They shouldn't have become lovers. Not even friends.

If only he'd tried to make Yuuji hate him. Megumi should have tried his damn best to be inconsiderate, insufferable, obnoxious.

Anything. Just anything to prevent things from ending up like this.

He wouldn't have been feeling that guilt, if they had stayed estranged roommates.

The thoughts ... they were tiring Megumi.

He rested his eyes. It wasn't a deep sleep, but a light slumber his body fell into.

No more than half an hour must have passed when Megumi blinked his eyes open.

At first there was something like white noise going through his head, a vacant nothing, but soon enough his thoughts were back.

Megumi was the type of person who was open and honest to people that meant something to him — that were important and dear to him. He couldn't keep silent any longer. That was how his conscience worked.

He couldn't hold back the truth from people that meant a lot to him. He'd always been a genuine person to those who meant something to him.

He had to tell him.

He had to tell Yuuji.

Megumi's breathing went harsh as he thought about the feelings he had for Yuuji. It made everything worse for him.

Yuuji ... Yuuji ...

Please ...

Don't hate me.

Megumi forced himself to calm his breathing down, placing the back of his hand on his forehead. Distracted by that, he didn't even hear Yuuji opening the door.

Yuuji rather ripped the door open, baffled when he found Megumi on his bed. He sounded heated and confused at the same time.

"Seriously?! Where were you?? I thought you'd turn up to the lesson. I even sent you a message! Told the prof you'd be late ... The look he gave me after class ended ..." Yuuji sighed defeatedly. "Whatever. You have to send him a mail. He's gonna give you an extra assignment to make up for today's absence."

Yuuji had been walking farther into their room as he wailed, only now realizing that Megumi hadn't reacted to his complaints at all — still and mute on his bed.

"Hey," Yuuji cooed softly as he closed the gap to Megumi's bed, "What's up? You okay?" Yuuji gave Megumi's cheek a peck. He raised his head until he was looking down at his boyfriend from above.

Megumi's eyes slowly peered to Yuuji's. So much worry was swimming in those beautiful hues. Megumi was realizing more intensely what kind of feelings he had for Yuuji.

I had to tell him.

He couldn't endure it anymore. He had to tell Yuuji the truth.

"What's on your mind?" Yuuji questioned gently.

You're important to me, Yuuji.

But Megumi couldn't say it out loud. Had no right to.

Slowly – very slowly – he sat up. Yuuji was crouching in front of him, looking at him earnestly.

"I have to tell you something, Yuuji," Megumi began his confession.

Finally.

The first few words that marked the beginning of his confession.

Yuuji raised a brow. He didn't say anything yet, trying to find out what Megumi was hiding behind those words.

He set on with an assumption. "It's not about your midterms?"

Megumi shook his head.

Yuuji stayed silent — until he got to a hush conclusion, and his forehead creased. "It was never about your midterm exams?"

Megumi, disheartened, shook his head again.

Yuuji didn't understand, but he wanted to. Naturally, he let Megumi have all the time in the world. "You can tell me what's up. I'm here. I'm listening." Yuuji didn't dare initiating simple physical contact. Not yet.

Megumi was guilt-stricken. He couldn't look Yuuji in the eyes when confessing ... it.

He had to do something else — avoiding eye contact by all means. His eyes roamed over their dorm room until they landed on Sukuna. Sukuna, their skeleton.

Megumi stood up and walked towards it. Yuuji was genuinely puzzled by that, following Megumi a tad later.

He held out his hand to reach Megumi's arm. "You aren't even looking at me—"

Megumi slapped Yuuji's hand away before it could reach him. "Just—listen ... okay?" Nothing about his tone was assertive.

Yuuji didn't know what to think about Megumi's weird behavior, but he yielded. "Okay ..." He stood in place, tensed and restless, but eventually thought it better to just sit on his bed and listen to Megumi from a certain distance.

Thus, he settled onto his bed and crossed his legs, ready to be Megumi's attentive listener or emotional support or empathetic boyfriend or whatever Megumi needed at the moment.

One of Megumi's hands touched the skeleton — a moveable part of Sukuna.

Distraction. Megumi needed distraction. He needed to distract himself with something while confessing. He couldn't look Yuuji in the eyes and he couldn't do nothing while laying out the unpleasant truth. A part of his past.

Megumi's finger moved, causing Sukuna's arm to fall into slight swaying motions. "Before ..."

Before what? Megumi thought, Before I met you? Before med school started? If I do it like that, it will only lead to one half of the truth ...

"Before we started our relationship, there was someone ..." Megumi was commencing the tale that was very much blunt reality. "A man."

Yuuji couldn't decide for himself what to make of that statement, and continued to simply listen. Megumi had already told him that he wasn't a virgin anymore. Was this about the man who took Megumi's virginity? A heartbreak? A fling that didn't work out?

"That man ... he was ..." Megumi hesitated, biting his bottom lip. It was hard to say it out loud. His face contorted to an expression of agony. Yuuji saw that. "He— ..."

Yuuji couldn't help getting genuinely concerned, his mind suddenly jumping to the worst case scenario. Gingerly, he asked, "Was it consensual?"

"What? No—I mean, yes! Yes, it was consensual." Megumi mentally facepalmed himself, frustrated because he was terrible at coming to the point. At this rate, he wouldn't get anywhere.

"Meg, you ... don't have to tell me, ... if you don't want to ..."

"No, I—" I don't want to tell you, but I need to, "I'm gonna tell you."

"What's up, Megs? You are — kinda — I don't know, it's strange, you know? I'm just trying to understand, you know."

Just listen, Yuuji. Megumi was already at his wit's end and he hadn't even said any of the relevant parts yet.

Megumi's voice gradually lost its steadiness and volume. "That man, he was —"

— Gojo Satoru.

Your dad, Yuuji.

I had sex with your adoptive father Gojo Satoru.

Yuuji got more and more perturbed, and the feeling of wanting to help Megumi ease off his mind got deeper and deeper, but he had no clue how to approach his boyfriend appropriately. Without making things worse for Megumi. The whole situation seemed like a foggy maze to him. "Meg ..." Yuuji whispered almost inaudibly.

"He was," Megumi sucked in his breath and moved a part of Sukuna, "twenty years older than me."

There came a long period of silence.

Megumi was watching the artificial bones of Sukuna sorrowfully, while Yuuji stared at Megumi with slightly widened eyes.

Megumi figured that he couldn't say everything at once. He had to split his confession; feed Yuuji bite-sized pieces of it. That was why he had decided that he needed to go one step at a time.

"Oh ..." Yuuji breathed out. Megumi didn't look at him, but he heard Yuuji exhale a big sigh of relief. "Ohhhhhhhh!"

Yuuji started laughing airily. Megumi continued busying himself with Sukuna, remaining conscience-stricken.

"That is what you got so anxious about? Telling me you had sex with someone way older than you? That's why you were so worried?? Don't worry, Megs!" Yuuji's breathy laughter sounded off in the room again.

Megumi pressed his lips together as he frowned hard.

No. You don't get it, Yuuji. This isn't everything. The worst is yet to come.

Megumi tapped Sukuna's hand lightly.

Yuuji went on carefreely. "So that's what it was. It was an older man." The major relief was evident on Yuuji. "That's what you were worried about? That's why you were so weird the whole time earlier? Because your first time was with someone way older than you and you didn't know how I would react to such a thing? Who cares! As long as it was consensual."

Yuuji ... you don't get it.

Trust me ... this really wasn't everything yet. I haven't told you the worst yet.

Yuuji mulled over the delicate news, a finger on his chin, looking up to the ceiling. All the while Megumi was fighting his inner demons. His inner voice. His inner guilt. His inner failure.

"Twenty years, huh? That's impressive, actually. You beast!" Yuuji laughed heartily.

I'm not done yet. I'm not done talking yet.

Megumi couldn't bring himself to go on. He held onto Sukuna's hand, his grip tight, and began moving it.

How should I say it?

Megumi couldn't say it.

How should I say it?

Megumi couldn't say it.

To Megumi's dismay, Yuuji was ultimately caught in a monologue, thinking about the matter all to himself, but saying every of his thoughts aloud.

Yuuji was deep down in a flow of words.

"Twenty years? Then that means..."

Megumi raised Sukuna's hand.

"It was this year, right? You aren't nineteen yet."

Sukuna's hand was held up by Megumi, to the same height as his collarbone, as he tried to come up with a way onh'how to say the rest of his confession. Megumi was listening, but at the same time he was caught up in his own thoughts.

How should I go on?

"Twenty years, that means... Oh!"

Megumi swayed Sukuna's hand absentmindedly. The skeleton made low, artificial noises. Megumi felt like being detached from his own mind.

What to do? What should I do?

How should I go on with this?

It was hopeless ... the worst ...

Damn it. I need to say it.

"He was the same age as my dad!"

Megumi startled and stopped his movements instantly. His grip on Sukuna's wafting hand loosened.

The skeleton hand slipped through Megumi's fingers and fell into place audibly. It was a noisy drop.

Yuuji noticed that, too, curled his brows for a quick moment, but went on. He was curious about something. "Sooo ... was it hot?"

Megumi was frozen. Everything about him was on hold. Only his heart was abusing his ribcage as it pumped blood vigorously through the bloodstreams. The only thing reacting inside him in some way.

"Meg?"

Megumi was caught in a shock, like a deer in a headlight. He hadn't expected that. Megumi had been struggling with his confession and then ... Gojo had been mentioned out of the blue ... by Yuuji.

Yuuji grew dubiously concerned over Megumi's odd reaction.

"Megumi...?"

Megumi couldn't move. He couldn't turn around. He couldn't say anything.

His own body was betraying him.

And Yuuji ... Yuuji thought back to the moment Megumi had startled into a freeze.

When it had happened.

Why it had happened.

What he had had said when it happened.

"Twenty years ..." Yuuji murmured.

And Megumi heard it too. He had to do something. He hadn't expected Yuuji to mention Gojo. It had cut through Megumi's plan. It had thrown him off guard. It had destroyed everything.

"Twenty ..." Yuuji's brain was working, the cogs were turning. Connecting the dots.

The exact moment Megumi had frozen in place ... plus ... twenty years.

Megumi heard Yuuji leaving his bed.

Something dropped hard to the floor.

Quick steps.

He felt hands swinging him around. Two strong arms held Megumi tightly and fingers clawed themselves into his arms.

Megumi was met with Yuuji's face that was contorted and eyes that were blazing with acute fury.

"You fucked my dad?!"

----------------

A/N: What a cliffhanger, eh? ;D

How about I go on a hiatus for 15 years? 🤭

Feel free to leave me some comments! I'm so grateful for your kind feedback <333