A/N: I have nothing to say

(I'm sorry)

(Sorry not sorry)

???

(This is another IMPORTANT chapter. Don't skip lines, else I will haunt you in your dreams <333)

Chapter summary: After having officially started dating Yuuji, Megumi realizes that his expectations aren't met.

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It was Sunday. The last day of the weekend trip. Megumi, Yuuji and the others were going to take the bus ride home in the late evening. After the treasure hunt.

Breakfast and lunch time passed by pretty much uneventfully. Everyone seemed to wait eagerly for the main attraction of this weekend trip to come.

Everyone except Megumi.

He wasn't really interested in playing games – even less outdoor games in the depths of a forest – so he was hoping for this treasure hunt to not be a tedious one at least.

Approximately two hours after everyone had lunch, the hostel operators explained the game and its rules.

Two people would create a team and a color would then be assigned to them. Each team would be given riddles and a map later. They had to solve riddles to figure out the location of five checkpoints (out of ten for each team). Each of those five checkpoints contained a single digit and hints about the next riddle to solve. The five digits put together in order of receival were going to be the password for the lock attached to the treasure at the end of the game. The first team to reach the treasure with the five-digit password would be the winner and the content inside the treasure was the prize.

The competitiveness of this hunt was established by the fact that each team had to be quick with solving the riddles and finding the checkpoints.

Megumi and Yuuji were a team (obviously), team green, and, just like everyone else, they were led to a starting point by the operators. Each team was brought to a different starting point, but everyone would start the hunt at the same time.

Megumi and Yuuji were waiting—Megumi being rather bored and Yuuji very much excited. The man that was with them was eyeing his digital watch, waiting for the full hour to strike. He was holding a little tote bag and a map in one hand.

"Good luck," the man said dryly, and Yuuji was quick to move. Being overly eager to win the treasure hunt, Yuuji basically ripped the stuff off the man's hands. Said man shrugged it off and made his way back to the hostel.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go, Megs!!!" Yuuji chanted motivationally, opening the bag. He pulled all cards out and quickly peeked inside to see whether he had forgotten one. He then gave Megumi the bag, which the latter accepted rather defiantly and not without frowning at the other. Megumi quickly peered inside, too, before stuffing it into his backpack.

Yuuji was flipping through the cards that had the riddles on them, inspecting each one to find the card they needed to start their treasure hunt with. Megumi took the map and unfolded it. It was a simplified map of the forest they were in, with all the various checkpoints (and their respective colors) marked and relevant paths drawn. An abudance of 'X's were noted on the map, but only one of them actually marked the spot of the hidden treasure, which was why the riddles needed to be solved.

Despite the 'treasure map', Megumi's enthusiasm was on a low tide. However, being mildly curious, Megumi gave Yuuji a quick look, watching the other busy himself with the riddles.

Yuuji had his eyebrows furrowed deeply, face strained hard and lips pursed tightly, still checking each card.

This doesn't look good at all, Megumi told himself. He didn't even want to ask.

He breathed out lowly as he inquired, "What's the matter?"

"This doesn't make any sense!" Yuuji exclaimed with a yell.

Megumi pressed his lips together. Yeah ... I don't want to play this stupid game. "What do you mean?"

"There is no beginning riddle! We have none!"

"That can't be." Megumi's voice didn't waver from sounding indifferent.

"I swear, Megs! These riddles are useless! The first one is missing! How are we supposed to reach our first checkpoint?!"

"It's there. You have to find out which of them is the beginning one."

Yuuji, stubborn and slightly moody, swung his arm towards Megumi and held out the cards. "You have a look then," he said, sulking. When nothing happened, he looked at Megumi and saw how the other was neither moving from his place nor showing any interest in the game. Yuuji wouldn't accept that, he wouldn't give up that easily. "Don't you want your amazing boyfriend to win this?!"

Megumi rolled his eyes and sighed again. He took the stack of cards from Yuuji and regarded them, first time doing so. Each card presented a riddle and five of them needed to be solved by each team. Together with the remarks on the map, they could then head towards the checkpoints. A riddle and keywords presented on each of the five checkpoints would lead to the next riddle card which would then lead to the next checkpoint and so on. The last one would then lead to the hidden spot of the treasure that needed to be located on the map first.

Megumi had finished looking at the set of cards. The way things were right now, the various riddles were indeed of no use. Yuuji was right. One couldn't tell which riddle to start with.

"That's strange..." Megumi muttered under his breath. It did irritate him that he wasn't able to tell which card to begin with ... This game was supposed to be solvable by students (by university students more than ever!), so why couldn't Megumi figure it out?

It riled him up. But not enough to feel the eagerness to do something about their problem. On the contrary, he had become even less motivated to play this game.

"The man from earlier has already gone back to the hostel. Wanna ask him for help anyway?" Megumi suggested half-heartedly.

"I don't want to go back to the hostel when the hunt has barely started. That's gonna feel like giving up. I don't want that."

Megumi gave a sketchy glare through half-lidded eyes. They would never be able to make the first move in the game, if they kept going in circles, checking out each riddle repeatedly.

He gave the cards back to Yuuji, shrugging defeatedly.

Yuuji's pout grew bigger. "Let's just visit all of our checkpoints then. Gimmie the map."

"That won't be of use. There are ten of them. We need only five—the five, correct ones. If we check them all, we'll waste too much time. You might have the digits at the end, but someone else will have won by then."

"I can't stand here and do nothing! This was supposed to be fun. Nothing about this entertaining at all." Yuuji was seriously disappointed by the unexpected turn of events, his behavior having him cross his arms and turn away from Megumi, falling silent.

"Don't sulk," Megumi attempted in a voice that was supposed to have a touch of balm.

"I'm sulking." Yuuji's stubborn attitude intensified.

Megumi wasn't in the best mood either, but it would only be worse, if Yuuji started getting dejected too. So, after exhaling a sigh once again, Megumi opened the map. "One of our checkpoints is close-by, I think."

Yuuji's mood changed considerably. He was back to facing Megumi, radiating briskness. "Let's go!"

And they did. Megumi pointed at the general direction of the closest green checkpoint and it was Yuuji who walked ahead with springy steps. Megumi followed him, his feet scuffling.

Yuuji's mood was restored; enough to want to engage in some conversations—with Megumi of course.

He even had something in mind already. As he was gliding his shoes through fallen, crispy leaves, a serene expression painting his face, he asked, "Do you like it so far? With me, I mean..."

That question was an ambiguous one (Yuuji must have done it on purpose to keep caution), but Megumi understood it right away.

How should I answer that, when I have already made plans to break up with him in the near future? How should I handle this, when I've not once taken (and never can take) my relationship with him seriously?

"I think so." Megumi replied calmly at last. He made sure not to sound too hopeful nor too abrasive.

Yuuji appeared to be pleased by that answer. It encouraged him to continue. Yuuji was liking everything about their relationship so far, Megumi could tell. He could gauge that from the way Yuuji was acting around him. It was merely the second day of them behaving like actual boyfriends, but to Yuuji things were already feeling so natural and ... right between them.

Thinking about that while simultaneously watching Yuuji flourish in his new role as a boyfriend did give Megumi a light pang in his chest.

Since Yuuji was walking ahead of Megumi, he turned around, walking backwards as he gave Megumi a mellow expression.

"This is your first relationship. I'm your first boyfriend ever. Anything you want to happen? Anything you're wishing for?" Yuuji asked.

Megumi didn't have to think much about that, of course. He simply shook his head.

"Now it's gonna be awkward." Yuuji inclined his head to one side as one of his hands scratched his undercut. He breathed out a timid huff. "Because I have something in mind for the other way round."

"Just say it. It's okay."

Yuuji kept walking backwards, wringing his hands together, staring at the ground that was scattered with dry leaves. "Well... This might not be my first relationship ever, but it's my first relationship with a guy, too."

Megumi was sensing something.

Yuuji was taking it seriously. Very seriously.

Foreboding, Megumi halted in his tracks and Yuuji did so as well. The latter one took some steps towards Megumi.

Yuuji's mind was filled with affectionate sincerity that wanted to be breathed into existence by being uttered. "I want to be a boyfriend you can depend on. Someone who you feel save with. Someone you can share your emotions with. You can show me all of yourself, actually. All of Megumi Fushiguro." Yuuji finished off his declaration with a wholesome grin.

Megumi blinked at him. A strange feeling reeled through his body upon hearing those words. Yuuji had put so many thoughts into them. So many...

Yuuji stepped closer to Megumi, until their faces were less than one feet apart. "You sure you don't want to say anything to that matter? Nothing you're wishing for? Nothing you'd like me to say or do as your boyfriend?"

For a moment, Megumi lost himself in Yuuji's light brown hues. The emotions mirrored in Yuuji's eyes looked so... genuine.

"Start by saving me, Yuuji."

Because I can't save myself from this anymore.

I'm already too deep in it.

A breeze passed the two boyfriends by, hurling up leaves around their feet.

Megumi was thinking.

He was imagining how things were going to be like one month from now. By then, Megumi wouldnt be Yuuji's boyfriend anymore. By then, he'd have already broken up with him.

I'm not the kind of boyfriend you think I am, Yuuji.

Yuuji grew a little bit worried over Megumi's words. His brows furrowed lightly and his lips curved up insecurely. "What do you mean, Megs?"

Megumi blinked at him again, his own self devoid of any emotions. "From this game," he added, coming up with an excuse to divert Yuuji's attention from the actual meaning of his words, "Save me from this treasure hunt because we're not making any progress."

Yuuji expressed irritation on his face instantly. "I don't get it, either. Why are we stuck like this?? The others don't have the same problems, do they? I bet those hosts forgot to give us the most important card."

Yuuji went back to walking deeper into the forest, taking the lead once more. Megumi mimicked him, keeping a bigger distance to Yuuji than before.

I'm sorry, Yuuji.

I have to do this.

I have to break up with you.

We can never be something that you are wishing for.

Like that, they walked in silence for a while.

"There it is! One of our checkpoints!" Yuuji exclaimed happily.

Indeed, there was something like a wooden pinpoard, sporting a green flag on top. A green checkpoint. Megumi and Yuuji were team green.

Once he reached the checkpoint, Yuuji inspected it, trying to find a piece of paper or something of the like with one of the five digits for the lock written on it.

"It isn't here," Yuuji said, crestfallen. His disappointment was grand. "There's nothing here! Not even a riddle that we would have to do next."

So this was one of the checkpoints that was a blank. They had been treading through the forest for nothing so far...

"Nine more left," Megumi said, his tone an octave higher to feign enthusiasm. Going through every checkpoint was ridiculous.

Yet, they headed towards the next one. It turned out to be a blank, too.

The eighth one. Yuuji was completely silent as they made their way to it.

Another blank.

Yuuji groaned exasperatedly, tipping his head back. The sheer hopelessness of their situation had eventually reached him as well.

He offered his hand that was holding the riddle cards. "Whatever. Put them back in the bag." Yuuji had silently accepted defeat.

Megumi didn't retort anything to keep that little bit of a sane mood intact and opened his backpack. He pulled out the little tote bag from inside. It slipped through his fingers and dropped to the ground. Megumi wanted to pick it up, when he noticed an unnatural dent forming under the fabric of the bag.

Straining his brows, he traced the outer line of the dent with his fingers. Megumi gasped audibly, when he suddenly got a hunch about what it could be. Even Yuuji heard him, drawing his own attention to the dropped bag.

Megumi opened it, praying that it wasn't what he thought he would find inside, but once he got a hold of it, he began groaning with annoyance.

"What is it?" Yuuji's curiosity was piqued.

With closed eyes and lips pressed together, Megumi pulled the item out.

A card. A riddle card. The beginning riddle for the treasure hunt.

Yuuji's mouth swung open. He couldn't believe his own eyes.

"No waaaaaay!" His tone was wild, snatching the card from Megumi's hand. "I looked inside the bag when I took all of the cards out. I thought there was nothing left inside!"

"I thought so, too. I had a look inside after you," Megumi said. He couldn't believe it. How did they overlook it? Why didn't they check the bag again much earlier??

Yuuji, his competitive nature for games rekindled, took a few steps away forward. "Wait this riddle makes sense! We can actually work with it! Open the map! We gotta reach our first actual checkpoint. Here, I can tell you what the answer to that riddle is. It's—"

"Yuuji..."

Yuuji's passionate spirit had actually reawakened. "We have a chance, Meg!"

"No, we don—"

"Let's go! Let's do this! We can't waste any more time! We are gonna win thi—" Yuuji's words halted, when he felt something drop onto the crown of his hair.

Megumi felt it on the tip of his nose.

They looked up to the sky in unison.

Even more droplets fell down on them.

Rain.

It started raining.

Megumi scrunched his face, irate. Of course this shit has to happen to us now...

Yuuji wasn't exactly grateful about it either. Uncertainly, he stood in place, trying to make out just how bad the weather was going to be.

He didn't have to think about that long because it started pouring.

The worst was that neither of them was carrying an umbrella.

The rain pattered on them perpetually, while they were out in the forest, with nothing to cover their heads.

"We need to find something to stand under!" Yuuji said, his voice firm and close to a yell to fight against the sounds of the pouring rain.

There was a lot of rain. Megumi looked around, blinking the droplets away and vainly forming a protection above his head with his hands. He and Yuuji were already wet from top to bottom. The checkpoint they had left behind didn't grant them a roof.

Megumi spotted something that was in the far distance. He squinted his eyes to figure out what exactly it was. That might do, he thought to himself, Anything is better than standing in the middle of the forest with nothing above our heads.

Megumi took Yuuji by the wrist and, together, they ran towards the thing that Megumi had found.

The thing being logged trees that were stacked on top of each other in a pyramid-like shape. They were lucky. A few logs protruded from the otherwise neat and even rows of cut down trees. Megumi and Yuuji could place themselves under the protruding logs to shelter themselves from the rain a bit.

As they did so, sharing that little bit of space together, Megumi cast his eyes to the sheer amount of rain puddles that grew or merged together. He grumbled inaudibly at that sight. Their treasure hunt hadn't only failed, the outdoor activity itself had ended in the worst possible outcome there could be.

Since he was not entirely sheltered from the rain, Yuuji held his hands above his head while observing Megumi. He could tell that the other's mood had plummeted massively.

"It's okay," Yuuji then claimed with a caring tone, "We're a good team, Megs!"

Megumi looked at him. The way Yuuji was all cheerful and good-tempered even though things had turned to the worst. Neither one of them could tell how much they'd have to wait here until the rain would cease.

Oddly enough, without thinking much about it, he pulled Yuuji by his sleeve, pressing him against himself. Megumi wrapped him into a tight hug. He cupped Yuuji's wet hair with a hand—even though that was rather an act done in vain. "You're going to get even more wet, if you keep staying there," Megumi murmured as a pout crept onto his lips.

Yuuji didn't say anything. Slowly but certainly, he gave in to the embrace. Resting his head on Megumi's shoulder, Yuuji allowed a fond smile to decorate his face. A simple feeling. He was happy.

Megumi, on the other hand, was conflicted. This didn't help him stay on track with his plan.

***

"The losers are finally back." Nobara announced the obvious, grinning widely.

After hours had passed, Megumi and Yuuji were finally stepping into lounge where the rest of the group had been waiting for them.

Megumi was in a grumpy mood, rain drops trickling down his hair as he was completely drenched, his clothes clinging to his body. "This treasure hunt wasn't fun at all. I wanna go back to the dorms."

"You're saying that because you lost." Maki commented with a smirk, a hand on her hips.

"We lost but at the same time... did we really?" Yuuji said, smiley, and Megumi wondered where his futile optimism was coming from. He was just as drenched and wet as Megumi, if not maybe even more. Was Yuuji thinking that way because, despite everything, they had spent time together? Or was it because Yuuji had enjoyed the conversations they had shared in the forest? "We didn't lose, Megumi."

"The hell you mean by that?" Toge said with a mocking scoff. "You two lost in the worst way possible. There's nothing to sugercoat that. You came back two hours after the set time limit. Did you even manage to complete one riddle?"

Yuuta, the friend with the most empathy in the group, said softly, "Don't be so mean. Let them be. They need to get dry first."

Yuuji beamed at his boyfriend. "We didn't really lose, Meg. You know what I mean, right?"

There must have been a meaningful moment to Yuuji earlier... it really seemed like it.

Megumi didn't reply. But Yuuji didn't expect him to do so.

Somehow...

Megumi clenched and unclenched his hands to massage resistance into his body.

Something hurt...

His chest was winding from the inside. A jab knocking on his conscience.

***

"Lock the door, I don't wanna see their petty faces." Megumi snapped half-seriously. "Nobara and Maki won. They're gonna rub that into our faces, if we don't do something."

Yuuji giggled, but did as Megumi had asked for.

They had showered and were in their hostel room now. Megumi sat on the bed, cross-legged running his hands through his damp hair. Yuuji sat down next to him. It was the second night where they would share a bed together, however nothing had really felt weird about that.

"Any new discoveries you made today?" Yuuji wanted to bring the day to a close like that.

"I'll never participate in a treasure hunt again." Megumi's answer was prompt.

Yuuji gave another low giggle. He then fell into silence, smiling to himself. His lips twitched, as though he wanted to say something, but didn't know how to. At last, he dared it. "And... about us?" Yuuji shifted his gaze to Megumi, looking him deep in the eyes—naively hopeful.

Megumi didn't say anything. He looked back at Yuuji, chewing the inside of his cheek. What should he do now? How should he drift away from this topic without making it too troublesome?

Should I just...

He decided on a kiss.

Slowly he closed the distance between them. Yuuji stayed motionless, observing Megumi diligently, mouth slightly parted. Megumi pressed his lips onto Yuuji's. He stayed like that for a while, their lips touching without moving. Then he turned his head, kissing Yuuji more, hoping to satisfy Yuuji's curiosity without actually expressing something in particular, leaving it at a chaste kiss even.

And then, out of the sudden, Yuuji's words from earlier echoed through Megumi's head.

'I want to be a boyfriend you can depend on. Someone who you feel save with. Someone you can share your emotions with. You can show me all of yourself, actually. All of Megumi Fushiguro.'

Megumi pulled away as slowly as he had leant in to the kiss.

Something was different. Something had happened. Without Megumi being aware of it, something had happened with him.

Something within Megumi was ... changing.

His indifferent, impassive self. It was changing.

His chest hurt.

But that same spot inside his chest was also kindling.

Silence fell between them.

Yuuji's declaration from earlier had reached Megumi's very gate to his emotions.

They had reached Megumi's soul. His sentiment.

The static soul ... had become the roaming one that changed its core of sentiment in the wake of it.

Megumi was undergoing an emotional change without having a say in it. His whole self was rewriting itself.

He was looking at Yuuji, but he had never looked at him that way before. He had kissed Yuuji, but they had never shared such a kiss before. He had accepted Yuuji in his life (kind of), but he had never accepted him this way before.

'This way' being...

Suddenly, Megumi cupped Yuuji's face and soon enough his lips claimed the other's once more. He reverted to a deep kiss easily, too easily, not even giving Yuuji a chance to reciprocate it with the same passion. Megumi deepened the kiss. Slipped his tongue inside. Didn't want to stop. Couldn't.

When he did pull away at last, after what felt like forever, he was instantly caught in a trance. His eyes were on Yuuji, but he was spacing out.

His chest hurt.

It had been hurting a few times today. Only now did he understand what the meaning behind that discomfort was.

Slowly but surely he was getting remorseful feelings. Feelings that made him scrupulous.

Not only that...

He was changing.

The indifference... gone.

His plan... crossed out.

The protective wall around his heart... collapsed.

Megumi's whole world turned upside down.

Not only the guilt...

Megumi's feelings for Yuuji were shifting.

Now... Yuuji was... to Megumi...

Only now did he notice that a blush had spread across Yuuji's cheeks. Yuuji was smiling—he was full of joy.

Yuuji freed himself from the temporary shock that Megumi's kiss had caused. His eyelids fluttered as his wide smile switched to a subtle one.

"Megumi..." he whispered, and that whisper was an unchaste zest. Yuuji's hands wandered to Megumi's neck first, then to his cheeks. It was Yuuji holding Megumi's face in place now and it was Yuuji giving Megumi a kiss now.

But Yuuji's kiss was different. It was a sensual kiss.

It was a kiss with an unwavering purpose.

Something had shifted within Yuuji, too.

The bond between them was shifting.

Yuuji was kissing him with an intention that was lingering in his mind.

Megumi was obviously conflicted. You can't, Yuuji... You mustn't...

Yuuji broke off the kiss and pressed a hand against Megumi's chest, pushing his upper body onto the bed. He did that slowly, almost timidly, and all the while Megumi was watching the anticipation blossom in Yuuji's face.

Once Megumi was lying on his back, Yuuji was hovering above him.

There was a twirl of constricting thoughts and emotions that were bullying Megumi internally. An inner frenzy pointing a finger at him. Ridiculing him. Disdaining him.

You wouldn't want this, if you knew, Yuuji.

Yuuji's lips pursed into a coy smile.

You don't know, Yuuji.

Yuuji raised a hand and his fingers caressed Megumi's cheeks tenderly.

If you knew...

Yuuji's face got closer to Megumi's.

... that I had sex with your dad.

Yuuji was about to grant Megumi another kiss.

Megumi put a hand on Yuuji's chest and pushed him away a bit. Yuuji looked at him; insecure confusion veiling Yuuji's face, worried that he had done something wrong. That things were going too fast. That he had been too pushy.

Megumi looked at Yuuji with solemn sorrow. He had to say it.

I had sex with your adoptive father, Yuuji.

Twice.

"I'm not a virgin anymore."

Not that!

Yuuji gave a crooked smirk. "Even though you've never been in a relationship before? Didn't know you would be into affairs or one-night stands, Megs."

Yuuji... You don't understand... You don't know...

Megumi could have said more. Right now.

Megumi could have voiced out what he had actually wanted to say.

What he needed to let Yuuji know.

But he didn't.

The more fatal truth...

Megumi didn't tell it.

Yuuji kissed him. Softly. With all the care in the world. As though the very world they were living in had stopped, and Megumi and Yuuji had eternal time to lose themselves in each other.

In each other's affections.

As Yuuji kissed Megumi, want crept into him. He pulled away and asked hesitantly, "Wanna... do it... right now?" Yuuji couldn't keep his eyes on Megumi's for long, the eye contact frantic. "If you don't want to ... do it with me ... here, right now ... tell me that. You can tell me, Megumi."

Megumi, however, couldn't stare somewhere else but into Yuuji's eyes. He was getting more conflicted. The more happened, the more Megumi felt the guilt.

It's not a matter of not wanting to.

I mustn't.

He shouldn't go further than this with Yuuji.

Megumi blinked repeatedly but slowly, and Yuuji understood it as a sign of arousal.

Shutting off all thoughts for a tiny amount of time, Megumi found himself placing a hand on the back of Yuuji's head, pulling him down. Genuinely surprised by his own actions, Megumi guided Yuuji through a slow and passionate kiss.

When they broke off and established intense eye contact, two realizations hit at once:

Yuuji would really love to have sex with Megumi. Here. Right now.

Meanwhile, Megumi was realizing that the expectations he had convinced himself of were going down an imaginary drain.

Megumi was already thinking differently and more sincerely about... their relationship.

Out of the blue, Yuuji got off the bed, reached his bag briskly and came back as fast. Megumi spotted the bottle of lubrication in Yuuji's hand. Yuuji bit his lips when he saw Megumi's gaze and with an abashed blush he explained, "Don't get me wrong! I-I didn't..." The meekness had a chokehold on him, "I wasn't expecting things to happen, it's just— ... I thought I shall be prepared for everything... j-just in case, you know?"

Megumi, remaining on his back, looked at Yuuji mutely, not showing any reactions. He was greatly anxious about his own dilemma, but he tried his best not to show it at that very moment. He tried to put on an expression that was like a steely mask—after all, Yuuji was eyeing his reaction meticulously.

Megumi really shouldn't go further than this.

And... at the same time...

He'd realized what Yuuji meant to him and wanted to feel the closeness more deeply.

"Megumi...?" Yuuji wanted to retreat, unsure about whether he was really making things go too fast between them. "If you don't want to—"

Megumi wound his arms around Yuuji's neck, hiding his face from Yuuji. "Take the lead." he breathed out quickly.

His words and his mind were clashing together.

You shouldn't..., his mind said.

You want..., his body signalled to him, and his mouth had obeyed. His mouth had uttered those words after all.

There was a low, breathy chuckle. "Alright. This is my first time doing it with a guy, though. Excuse my inexperience, okay?" Yuuji's voice was soft.

Megumi silently nodded.

With shy fingers, Yuuji slipped under Megumi's shirt. Instead of rushing, Yuuji took his time, mapping out the delicate skin – the rises and dips – on his torso. Megumi's body felt lithe and soft under Yuuji's fingertips, shivering ever so lightly when those same fingers were exploring more sensitive spots.

Unbeknownst to Megumi, those feathery touches were already enough to have him suck in his breath and crave for more.

No matter how many unfaithful convictions Megumi would betray himself with, his body would never lie. His body only knew how to bare physical yearnings.

Yuuji wanted to feel Megumi up that way, that was why he had been able to keep his impatience suppressed for a while. Now it was back. Yuuji freed himself from Megumi's hold and pulled the other's shirt over his head, then his own one.

Due to Megumi not being responsive by helping himself out of his own clothes, Yuuji said with worry, "If you don't want to, just say it. It's fine for me."

"I said everything I wanted to say."

A lie.

Megumi's first lie to Yuuji ever since...

Ever since Yuuji had become important to him.

Megumi shivered lightly as a tiny breeze of air hit his exposed skin. Meanwhile, Yuuji was eyeing Megumi's crotch. A hand of his wandered to said part, nervously, cupping Megumi's clothed dick and giving it gentle rubs.

It caused Megumi to gasp and press the back of his hand above his mouth as his face scrunched to an unsure scowl.

Yuuji saw that. "I'm gonna make you feel good," he reassured him in a whisper that was hoarse from swelling cravings.

Megumi was anxious about certain things; Yuuji noticed that and was making his own conclusions.

Is it because of our past? Does he feel self-conscious? Many questions sprinted through Yuuji's mind. We started off as roommates and totally differently, after all. And now we're here... Megumi... Have faith in me, okay? I would never want to make you feel something else than good.

Yuuji closed the distance between himself and Megumi and, instead of claiming his lips, his mouth went after his jaw. He raked his teeth down Megumi's jawline and reached for his throat as his hands grew determined, every fiber of his fingers awakened with confidence. As Yuuji's mouth wandered down to his neck and then chest, nibbling and licking and sucking his way down, his hands pulled Megumi's legs apart.

His tongue was circling around one of Megumi's nipples, one of his thumb was rubbing the other one the same way and his second hand had snaked into Megumi's pyjama pants, palm meeting a semi-hard cock. Fingers enclosing parts of it.

Megumi was slowly melting into Yuuji's touch, hips bucking into the palming hand almost subconsciously. Yuuji knew what to do. Unlike Megumi, Yuuji did have some experience in making someone feel aroused.

"Y-Yuuji—" Megumi mewled, and his inner voice went havoc.

I can't.

More...

I shouldn't.

I want more...

I mustn't do this.

More, more, more!

Yuuji's fingers pumped Megumi's dick from the base to the head in one long stroke. Slowly. Not because he was testing waters, but because it had the desired effect. Megumi's cock grew hard from it, at the same time expressing a vocal as well as desperate reaction.

Megumi was indeed in a haze of despair and overstimulation as three parts of his body got pleasured, and none of them included penetrative sex so far.

Things felt so doomed to Megumi.

So forbidden. So sinful.

He was a slave to Yuuji's touches.

As soon as Yuuji deemed both of Megumi's nipples spoiled enough, he detached his mouth from one and retreated his thumb from the other—leaving them red and perky. He pulled out his other hand from inside Megumi's pants, having contributed to the bulge showing now, while his fingers were glistening with droplets of pre-cum.

Megumi's eyes were cast down, almost closed, making sure not to look at Yuuji as his bottom clothes came off completely. Megumi found himself in a sitting position as he watched Yuuji get rid of his last clothing pieces as well.

There were a few seconds in which nothing was happening between them. Yuuji glanced at Megumi as his hand – that was holding the lube – stopped mid-air. Megumi wasn't making any efforts to raise his head, looking at the space between his opened legs, chewing on his bottom lip, his chest indicating that short breaths were taken.

As he opened the cap of the lubrication bottle, smearing his fingers with a generous portion, Yuuji asked, "Is it awkward? It's awkward, right? Does it feel awkward to you?"

Megumi inhaled deeply, but didn't release his breath, his lips shaping a straight line. Shutting his eyes and scrunching his nose, his mind fighting off two scenarios that were polar opposites, Megumi draped his arms around Yuuji. He leant back until his back hit the mattress once again, taking Yuuji with him.

Yuuji was in a bit of a dire position. "M-Meg... I can't... I can't do it like this."

"Do it," Megumi whispered huskily.

It was getting worse.

Megumi's guilty feelings.

He didn't want to think about them anymore.

He didn't want to feel them anymore.

Megumi wanted to feel... Yuuji.

But Megumi knew that he wouldn't be able to keep his shaky farce up, if he were to look at Yuuji or if Yuuji were to look at him and his face, so Megumi made the decision of not letting go of Yuuji's neck.

A part of him wanted to indulge in this. This closeness. With Yuuji.

Megumi was selfish right now. Greedy. Yearning. He had discovered new emotions for himself, and he wanted to have a taste of these sensations. Experiencing what it would be like to be attached to affections like these.

He wanted to experience them together with Yuuji.

But the other part of him was desperate to hold him back. Make him stop this. Feel ashamed. Confess.

"Yuuji—Hah!" Megumi's voice hitched, the rest of his words being swallowed by the breath he took—abandoned and forgotten. Without a prior warning, Yuuji had probed a finger – cold with lube – at Megumi's entrance.

"Sorry," Yuuji mumbled. He had let himself get led by impatience.

He then dipped his finger slowly inside, doing it blindly, since nothing about Megumi hugging him with a sturdy grip had changed.

Megumi's inner walls were taking the intruding digit with a newfound anticipation, shamelessly adjusting to it with sucking convulsions. Megumi's ass treated this as something happening for the first time. Tight and docile, his insides were clenching around the finger.

One side of Yuuji's face was grazing the side of Megumi's face, their cheeks heating up and exchanging warmth.

Yuuji's mouth fell open as he breathed out hot and inaudible air. His finger going inside Megumi's most private area elicited a mounting anticipation within Yuuji, so that he put a second finger inside shortly after.

Megumi felt that second digit and his dick sprung once. Its unfinished stiffness grew firmer. Megumi was completely hard now.

Yuuji slid both fingers deeper inside, until his knuckles were pressing against the puckered ring at Megumi's entrance. He was debating about whether to put a third finger in, but decided that he should try it with two fingers first.

Unlike finding and pleasuring a clitoris as well as working the female genital open, Yuuji was sure that he had to explore and try and probe and (at worst) go through trials and errors before he could give Megumi nothing but unscathed pleasure.

He didn't want to leave Megumi – his adorable boyfriend! – unsatisfied or disappointed, though...

Not even for a second.

So, he ground his teeth together, snuffled once and went on with unadulterated confidence.

The first thing he did was twist his two fingers as he made slow, pumping motions, and when Megumi responded with a twitch of his body and his ass cheeks tightening around Yuuji's penetrating digits, Yuuji knew he was doing something right. It gave his confidence a good boost. Next thing he did was crooking his fingers while pumping in slow motion.

Megumi gasped long at that.

The last thing was Yuuji scissoring his fingers. This time, Yuuji found himself turned on so much by his own action that he felt his dick getting hard. He hadn't even given his own cock much attention yet, barely registering that it had been at half-mast until earlier.

However, his growing boner came with a craving that raced eager rounds inside his body, blood rushing faster to his dick and causing the rest of the blood to soar more fiercely through his entire system.

He continued scissoring Megumi open, listening to Megumi's vocal reactions. Megumi was seemingly holding back, though. Yuuji did wonder why...

And yet, at the same time, it spurned Yuuji on. He wanted to cover his boyfriend in nothing but favorable pleasure.

At last, Yuuji pulled his fingers out. Rubbing them together, he could sense that not much lube had remained on them, yet he let them curl around his own tip, lowering them down his length. Anything to get himself lubed as his own pre-cum mixed itself into the spread liquid. He couldn't bother getting a hold of the bottle again and Megumi was still keeping him pretty much in place anyway.

Yuuji guided his dick to Megumi's entrance. His tip pressed against the flinching entrance ever so lightly.

Sensing with his body what was happening, Megumi took quick, short breaths as his mind was violated by the thought of what would come next.

I can still stop this. End it here... and confess everything...

And then... Yuuji's dick sank into Megumi's hole. First slowly, and then there was a moment where half of his length thrust inside at once.

"Ah!" Megumi let out, taken by surprise.

"Sorry," Yuuji muttered again, his breath hot against Megumi's ear.

It has happened, Megumi thought.

Yuuji grabbed Megumi's hips as leverage and pushed inside farther.

Megumi whined a weak, suppressed moan.

I can't go back anymore.

Yuuji exhaled a little gasp, when he eventually found himself balls-deep inside Megumi, his shaft meeting Megumi's cheeks. Something he hadn't thought of being actually able to manage.

"Oh my god, I'm inside. I'm inside you, Megumi." Yuuji sounded enthusiastic, his smile audible.

As Yuuji's cock was seated inside him, staying in place for a while with only low throbs vibrating against his slick walls, Megumi felt lustful desire overtaking him shamelessly. They were taking him hostage. Megumi was swimming in an ocean that was made of said desire, and the waves around him were shifting to sticky hands that were grabbing him by his shoulders and pulling him underwater.

Megumi's dick throbbed in response when Yuuji pulled out a bit. And Yuuji had done that to pound into Megumi once more, carrying firmness with his thrust.

"Hah! Ah—!" Megumi moaned with seeping lust...

And Megumi's mind moaned with leaking remorse...

I'm doing this with Yuuji... with Yuuji...

It feels good—fuck! It feels so good, but it's... with Yuuji.

Yuuji...

The guy, that was occupying Megumi's mind to the brim, had started pulling out and thrusting back in with a steady pattern, creating a pace that was continuous. Yuuji was gradually losing himself in a realm of ardent lust and Megumi got a taste of that, too, as his ass was hit and worked open by Yuuji's maddening length.

All of that had Megumi hide his face deeper in the crevice of Yuuji's neck, eyes pressed closed, while controlling his vocal outputs at the same time. Doing anything as long as Yuuji couldn't see his shameful face or hear much of his whimpers and groans behind sealed lips.

Yuuji's body, hot and sweaty and keen, was visited by sparks of euphoria. "It feels so good, hah... ah. Megs, it feels so good being inside you," he moaned and began to let himself get overwhelmed by awakened, feral instincts. His hips were rotating faster and harder now, his dick striking the hidden depths of Megumi's inner walls sometimes and bundles of nerves other times.

The way Yuuji was pounding into him – with an equal amount of keenness and ferocity – had Megumi whimper under him. His prostate was stimulated by Yuuji's hefty cock repeatedly, and Megumi lost control over his restraints. "Hngh, ah—Yuuji... haaahhh! Yuuji! Yuuji, ah, Yuuji..."

Megumi was begging, but he wasn't begging for something in particular.

Megumi was just begging and moaning messily.

Yuuji's lower body went on fucking into Megumi's by now utterly pliable ass, but at the same time he wanted to pull his upper body up.

Megumi, however, didn't let him; pulling him back down with the arms that had not once left the space around Yuuji's neck.

Yuuji was pleading, surprised by Megumi's steadfast resolution of keeping him this close and in an embrace for so long. "I wanna see your face. I wanna kiss you."

The only thing Megumi did was tightening the hold around Yuuji's neck. He wouldn't even resort to words as a reply.

"Okay, okay," Yuuji complied, without questioning it anymore.

So, Yuuji drew his attention back to sending lust into Megumi's body, grunting coarsely as his lower area sent first signals of release that were gathering inside him.

Yuuji quickened his pace, slamming with much lewdness into Megumi, picking up Megumi's sensual moans that were like music to his ears. Tiring physically a bit, he fell onto his elbows, but wouldn't stop. Yuuji took that opportunity to nibble on Megumi's neck, leaving behind wet, sloppy kisses and messy, red marks.

Megumi, weak against those sensible stimulations, let out a strangled cry of pleasure that had been choking him from inside his throat for a while now.

Yuuji cursed covetous profanities under his breath that sounded off lowly and like hungry growls, as his quick thrusts went more poignant. His carnal desires engulfed him entirely, making him go through every instance of zealous sex.

Megumi could feel that he was reaching his peak. And that made him remember what he had allowed himself of getting into.

Rabid emotions were battling inside him as his body delved further into the forbidden feelings of lecherousness that Yuuji was offering him with his exuberant thrusts.

Megumi's dick was oozing and pulsating needily, and his ass was sucking in Yuuji's cock appreciatively. With every thrust that he received, his body was brought to a higher level of impending climax.

One of Yuuji's hands reached down and took a hold of Megumi's dick, fingers wrapping around his length and tensing up the release that wanted to break free.

Megumi didn't manage to keep up with such an overwhelming stimulation any longer. His whole body quivered and then spasmed.

For a very short moment, the guilty part of himself re-emerged.

Yuuji...

I don't deserve this...

I don't deserve you...

Megumi came hard, being the first one to spurt out cum, all of which was painting Yuuji's stomach. The streaks of white semen then dribbled onto Megumi's abdomen.

Little tears spilled from the corner of Megumi's eyes when he orgasmed. He didn't know and couldn't tell what exactly had been the reason for that.

Megumi didn't want to know, actually.

An accumulation of mounting prickles were enclosing Yuuji as he jabbed final thrusts into Megumi's clenching hole—erratic and rigid.

Yuuji's throbbing dick twitched at last, spilling cum in bouts of long and thick strings that coated Megumi's insides instantly. Yuuji, who was still on his high, gasped a final moan as the thought of coming hard and deep inside Megumi fogged his brain to mush and brought a lewd smile to his wet lips.

He didn't stop smiling to himself, literally riding out his orgasm by making slow gyrating motions with his hips as his dick stayed inside Megumi. The squelching sound of cum coating Yuuji's length brought a tingling feeling to Yuuji's afterglow. Overly satisfied, he chuckled into Megumi's neck as his body finally stilled.

And Megumi...

Megumi felt bad.

Yuuji seemed to have enjoyed this thoroughly and was maxing out every moment and minute of this.

And Megumi felt so bad because of that.

He wasn't resisting when Yuuji pulled his arms away from his neck. Yuuji locked eyes with him. Yuuji's eyes were clouded over with dull remnants of an orgasm. Since Megumi had climaxed as well, Yuuji didn't view those two little streaks of tears on Megumi's face as something unusual.

Megumi couldn't glance at Yuuji for long, pressing his lids together. Yuuji kissed him, slotting his tongue into Megumi's mouth. Megumi didn't object.

After their kiss, they lied on the bed together, motionlessly, Yuuji on top of Megumi.

Yuuji's body stirred lightly. "Don't wanna ruin it, but... The bus is going to take us back to the dorms soon..." One hand of Yuuji's stroked Megumi's hair. "Wanna be the first to take a shower?"

Megumi didn't say anything, he just shook his head. Yuuji felt that shake.

"Okay, then... I'll go first..."

Yuuji pulled out carefully as he got off from on top of Megumi. He gave Megumi's face a scrutinizing look. Most of his locks were sticking to his forehead and some were reaching his eyes. He was panting lightly, but other than that there were no indications for his (inner) state. Yuuji couldn't tell what was going through Megumi at the moment.

Had this been enough for Megumi?

Had the sex been the way Megumi had wanted it to be?

Had Megumi enjoyed it, too?

Warily, Yuuji leant forward to touch one of Megumi's hands with utmost care.

Without looking at him, Megumi curled his fingers around Yuuji's hand and held it firmly, giving it a few squeezes even.

Yuuji took that as a good sign and smiled. He kissed Megumi's temple before leaving the bed, grabbing a towel and spare clothes, and heading towards the bathroom.

Only after being certain that Yuuji wasn't in the room anymore did Megumi bring his body to motion. He moved slowly and heaved his body up to roll onto his stomach. The cum pouring out of him was neglected by his mind.

The guilt... it was ruthless.

His head was hovering above the pillow, but he couldn't hold it up any longer.

The guilt was abusing his mind.

The realization he had made tonight...

The awakening of emotions he'd never felt before. His sentiments becoming something with a meaning. Something one could put a finger on.

Megumi dropped his face into the pillow. He couldn't tell if tears had welled up, but he did start sobbing. He sobbed into the pillow, hard and unrestrained, and didn't stop for a long while.

The sobs were the only thing echoing in this lonely room; caused by a young, remorseful student who had done a mistake.

Many mistakes.

----------------------------

A/N: "So start by saving me, Itadori" is an Itafushi moment in the manga that is etched into my brain so deeply. I HAD TO incorporate it into my own story.

I hope I did well enough with that...

Writing (one-sided) angsty smut was quite an experience lol

Welp! Megumi and Yuuji had sex!

Things have gone the worst possible way... eh? :DDD

What do you think about this chapter??

And thank you so much for all your comments so far! They make me so happy!

I hope you don't feel shy giving me feedback. I appreciate your comments! <3

Feel free to let me know your thoughts about this chapter!

Next update will be next week!

P.S.: THIS CHAPTER IS THE BEGINNING OF THE ANGST!