✲

DINNER AT the Gallagher's the following night was sloppy Joe. Silvia had spilt it all down the front of her shirt, much to her displeasure, and she attempted to dap it off of the face of the fuzzy cat she was wearing. Ian teased her relentlessly as she struggled, but Silvia ignored him.

"Mara," she groaned loudly, despite Carl's consistent snorting from her left ear. She glared over at him, and decided that she would not be telling him of the stain around his mouth. "Amara," Silvia called again, and when she got no answer, she climbed to her feet.

She easily found Amara sitting in the living room with Fiona, complaining about something. Silvia didn't know what, but as she entered the space, she caught the last of her sister's sentence. "—Don't get it. She's never had a boyfriend. Just fuck buddies. Why is Lip up her ass?"

Fiona took a swig from her beer while Silvia lingered near the archway. "I don't know. Why do you care so much, anyway?"

The hesitation was incredibly clear on Amara's face, but then she finally shrugged. "I'm just concerned for him, that's all. Lip seems to be all in and she just.. isn't."

"Oh, I see," Fiona mused. "You're being a concerned best friend."

"Yes," Amara nodded. "Absolutely."

Silvia furrowed her brows just as Debbie stepped into the house by the front door. Eagerly, Silvia forgot all about her sister and went to meet her. "Hey. I have a stain. Can you help me?"

Debbie eyed her shirt. "Wow, that's gonna be tough to get out."

"Maybe leave it," Carl said, appearing at the top of the steps. Silvia had no idea when he left the kitchen. "Shirts ugly. And the cat is creepy."

Debbie rolled her eyes and tugged her toward the bathroom. "Ignore him. C'mon."

"Yeah," Silvia nodded. "With pleasure."

The kitchen was mostly empty by then, Ian and Mandy were studying at the counter, and Liam was playing with his toys on the floor.

"I should have a stain remover somewhere," Debbie mused, shuffling through one of the baskets under the sink in the bathroom. Silvia turned to face her quizzically. "What? Boys love throwing food at me during lunch."

"Oh," Silvia frowned. "I get spitballs in class, not food."

"Yuck," Debbie murmured, pulling out the stain stick. "They suck, anyway."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I don't think I've ever had a boy like me."

"Me either. But that's okay, we don't need them. Right?"

"Right."

Debbie pushed the stain stick to the fabric of Silvia's shirt, and she watched her, suddenly unable to breathe. "And I can't believe you don't do anything to retaliate."

Silvia blinked, throat dry. "Huh?"

"You know, to the boys who spitball at you."

"Oh," Silvia sighed. "Well I do. Why do you think I'm in detention so much?"

Debbie shrugged, pulling the stain stick away. For a moment, they stood there, frozen. "I dunno," Debbie said, finally. "'Cause you spend too much time with Carl."

"That's probably true," Silvia mused, looking down to her now stainless shirt. "Hey, thanks."

"Yeah, of course."

Debbie left the bathroom first—but Silvia stayed put, suddenly unable to understand why her breathing had become so shallow. That wasn't weird or anything, why did it feel like there was a hole in her chest?

"Via!" Amara called from outside, and she jerked upright. "Come on, Fiona's gonna make me do dishes if we stay any longer."

"Hilarious," Fiona commented dryly from the counter as Silvia rushed out of the bathroom. "Goodnight ladies."

"Night!"

✲

It was a chilly Saturday morning as Silvia and Amara started down the sidewalk. She stuffed her hands into her pockets, fixing her hair underneath her beanie, and probably looking a little crazy. She glanced to her sister.

Amara was effortlessly pretty—a black coat and a pair of skinny jeans. Her hair, despite how the wind had knotted it, never seemed like it had a bad day. And she was so cool, and funny. Why wasn't Silvia like that?

"You ever planned a wedding before?" Amara asked her, briefly shifting her gaze in her direction.

"Wait, we're planning it?"

"No," Amara laughed. "But the idea kinda sounds fun, right? I always knew Kev and V would get married first, but I can't wrap my head around that it's actually happening."

"Yeah," Silvia agreed. "You gonna get married?"

"God, no," Amara scoffed. "I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon. You're married and boom- you're miserable for life. And with no way out, unless through divorce lawyers. Which, by the way, are crazy expensive. I don't even know who I'd marry."

Silvia frowned. Growing up, she'd watched a lot of romance movies. Marriage never seemed so bad in the movies.

"Sorry," Amara said, suddenly. "That sent me into a spiral. I just don't think I'm, uh, not marriage material. That's all. That doesn't mean you aren't- or that marriage is the same for everyone."

"I think I want to," Silvia admitted as they moved to the stairs of Shelia's house. Silvia hadn't been there very often, especially since Shelia was Karen's mom, and she was a little bit of a wacko. "Get married one day. It sounds nice."

Amara smiled, though it seemed a little tight. "Yeah. You ready?"

"Yes."

Most of the girls were inside already—Veronica in her dress that Shelia had customized for her—Fiona, Debbie and Karen in the kitchen.

"You don't have to go too crazy here, Shelia," Veronica told her as they stepped in. Amara made herself comfortable next to Debbie, and Silvia found a spot beside her as she was offered a bridal magazine. "But as close to Ver Wang as you can."

"You are going to make a beautiful bride," Shelia commented softly, and Veronica's face broke out into a smile.

"Aww, Sheila!" Veronica beamed. "You're making me feel like Cinderella!"

"Screw Cinderella!" Karen yelled, resulting in a frown from Silvia. Maybe her sister was right, there was something unlikeable about her. "Little doe-eyed bitch. Probably one of the worst role models for little girls."

"No, "Amara argued easily. Silvia tried not to giggle, her sister could argue with an arm chair and still win. "I think the worst role models are girls who sleep with a different guy every night, even though they said they were going be exclusive with someone. Just my opinion though."

Silvia blinked, clearly she'd missed a major part of Amara and Fiona's conversation the previous night. The accusation caused a scowl from Karen. "What? As opposed to not getting laid since freshman year?"

"It beats getting an STD at the age of twelve," Amara shot back, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"I think Cinderella was a feminist," Sheila interjected, clearly trying to diffuse the tension between the two girls.

"The whole idea of marriage is useless vestige of an archaic civilization."

"How would you know?" Debbie snapped.

"Yeah," Silvia spoke next, following her best friend's lead and using the words Amara had. "You don't even have a boyfriend. You just have fuck buddies."

"Because I watched one unravel," Karen responded, looking smug and spitefully to her mother.

"Oh, " Debbie scoffed. "So one example of a bad one makes them all bad? Hmm?"

"I still wanna get married," Silvia said, nodding confidently. "I want a pink and purple wedding."

"Oh my Gosh!" Debbie replied just as eagerly.
"Me too! We can have matching weddings. Ooh!
Or we can have our weddings on the same day and combine them together!"

Silvia tried not to look ecstatic. Debbie wanted to have the same wedding as her and on the same day—the idea was absolutely thrilling.

"In olden times, marriage was nothing more than a legal exchange of woman for property."

"Maybe you're being a little pessimistic," Fiona added.

"It's just a piece of paper!"

"And a birth certificate is just a piece of paper, but that has value." Debbie said. "Money is just a piece of paper!"

"And we're human beings that live on a floating ball that could just decide to fall at any given moment," Amara chimed in, and Silvia turned to ponder it. She supposed that was true, but the others gave her sister an odd look, and Amara shrugged. "Yeah, too dark. My bad, I'm just a professional overthinker. Hey, is there a job for that?"

"Hey," Veronica's voice rang out, and she stared down Amara. "Gloria Steinem, enough of the blah-blah." Amara jokingly stuck her tongue out at the older girl, and then stole a handful of chips from the bag Fiona that was placed in her lap. "Let's talk bachelorette party."

"I already got that covered," Fiona waved her off.

"You better," V replied, doing a little dance on top of the table she was standing on. "Cause we gonna be doing it!"

✲

authors note

okay so here's some lore: when i originally wrote lovestruck i was 15 and hadn't finished shameless yet. i was going to have silvia and debbie be endgame, but then debbie became... debbie & i obviously decided to change it. i kind of teased them in the earlier seasons but never go into it and i def think i want to have silvia explore her sexuality more now that she has her own book