WARNING: Brief mention of killing, feelings were hurt in the making of this chapter

Remus sighed and stopped his pacing. He almost fell onto his bed and sat with his head in his hands. Janus could see, his knuckles had definitely split.

"What d'you know anyway?" Remus' voice was muffled but Janus could still hear the completely despondent tone in it. He shrugged.

"Not much. Roman's your brother or step-brother or something-"

"Depends on who you ask," Remus said numbly. Janus decided it was awkward with him just standing there and sat cross-legged on the floor.

"Could you explain that to me? If it's alright-"

"Sure." Remus' hands fell from his face and he looked up at the ceiling with a sigh. "Before I joined the Chaos, my home didn't really believe in step-siblings. If you had a step-brother, you were pretty much a laughing stock."

Janus' face scrunched in confusion. Remus shrugged. "It doesn't really make sense, I know. Something to do with an old legend. Someone was gullible enough to let their father marry a woman with an evil kid or something. Everyone took the legend as the fault of the main kid, not of the step-sibling. If you said you had a step-sibling, you were basically painting a huge target on your forehead."

"Yet you still call Roman your step-brother?" None of this was making any sense.

"He would've beaten me up if I dared call him anything else," Remus said. "And nothing in my family was mine when he was around. I didn't have a mother, it was Roman's mother, we shared a room and he got most of it, I wasn't even allowed a 'proper' brother. No, I was his brother but God forbid if I called him my brother. I wasn't allowed to have anything." Remus glanced over at Janus and the hurt in his eyes was palpable. "D'you have any idea what that does to someone's identity?"

He laughed in a broken way. "And then there's the fact that I was too stupid to even read print-"

"Remus, you're not stupid!" Janus jumped up. "Did he tell you that?"

Remus shrugged. "What's it matter? Roman's always been one for telling the truth."

"I'll kill him!" Janus snapped. "I'll actually kill him." He should've cut Roman's throat when he had the chance.

"Jan, there's no point." Remus sounded so numb, so resigned. Janus could barely believe this was the same, excited person he knew. "I already went to prison for him, what's the-?"

"You what?!"

"I didn't know what I was signing!" Remus protested. He put his head back in his hands. Janus immediately backtracked, going over his tone, his words in his head. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

"Rem, I- I'm not mad at you, I'm-"

"I know." Remus dragged his hands down his face. "Roman'd done something stupid and gone and broken into a house. The police were after him. He gave me this piece of paper - all curly handwriting I couldn't even read if I tried - and told me to sign it. I didn't know what it was, I couldn't understand it. So I did. It was stupid, I know!" Remus stood up and started pacing. "But he was nearly two years older than me! When you're 13, 14 or 15 seems so much wiser! I signed it, I signed it like the fucking idiot I am."

"Rem-"

"No, I was an idiot," Remus said. He stopped pacing and turned to face Janus. The intensity in his face broke Janus' heart. "It was a stupid, idiot thing to do. But I did it anyway. You know what it was?" Remus laughed again in that same, awful broken way. "It was a Goddamn confession. 'I Remus Winston confess to any and all crimes allegedly committed by my step-brother Roman Winston'. The fact that I even had a step-brother was damning enough."

"Remus, I'm so sorry," Janus said quietly. What else could he do?

"I would've been fine, if Roman had come back for me like he'd promised." Remus sounded like he was about to cry. He wiped his face. "But he abandoned me."

There was a knock at the door. Janus glanced at Remus, who nodded slightly.

"Who is it?" As Janus called out, Remus turned away and scrubbed at his face viciously.

"Roman." Janus saw Remus' shoulders hitch up. "I want to talk to Re."

"Let him in."

"Re-"

"Let him in," Remus repeated firmly. He turned back around to face Janus. His face was set. "I want to hear what he has to say."

Well.... Ouch
Bye,
Blaize