Songs for the Chapter:
Skinny Love- Birdy
Dynasty- Miia
All You Ever- Hunter Hayes

———————————————————————

*3 Days Later*

Cath's POV

Harry and my mom have been by my side the whole time I've been in the hospital. They've been rotating every four hours to eat something from the cafeteria and get some sleep. I feel bad that they've been here with me for so long, not leaving me by myself once.

It's nice that I have them here for support, but I haven't had a moment to myself in so long. And I mean at all. Like one of them will even go to the bathroom with me. It's slowly starting to get on my nerves... Thankfully, I have a big enough room to where I haven't gotten claustrophobic or anything. There's enough space in here for all of us to have our own little bubble. Harry's been sleeping in the comfy rocking chair right next to me and my mom is sleeping on the creaky pullout couch.

As I'm sifting through my thoughts, I hear a knock on my door. All three of us perk up as Dr. Reed strolls into my room. I've had a lot of monitoring and testing done the past few days, making sure everything is good so I can be discharged. Dr. Reed told me I'd get to go home soon if everything turns out normal. I really hope I'm okay to go home... I'm so sick of it here.

"Well it looks like you're good to go home, Cath," says Dr. Reed with a small smile.

"All of your tests came back exceptionally well, however one of your tests caused a little concern." My heart drops. I look over to Harry and he holds my hand, rubbing softly over my knuckles.

"What is it?" I ask him. Why won't he just tell me already?

"Well... your estrogen levels are lower than normal. This means it may be more difficult to become pregnant in the future." My shoulders instantly droop as my chin falls to my chest.

Dr. Reed is still talking to me, but all I hear is muffled noises. I can hear Harry asking him questions. I'm completely zoned out. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Ever since I was little, all I wanted was to be a mom. Of course I planned on being a doctor, but my goal in life was to raise a family.

I had so many things picked out already on Pinterest. I had a board with different nursery rooms. I had picked out names, too. I was gonna name my daughter Layken Elizabeth. I'd been set on that since I was in sixth grade.

Now, we'll probably never get that chance unless we adopt. Not that adopting is bad, it's just I want a few kids of my own.

I feel so heartbroken.

Empty.

Lost.

My one purpose in life has been ripped away from me.

I don't even care if there's a small chance. I never 'win' at anything in my life. I'm always the last one picked, the one everyone ignores and pities... why not just keep the bad things coming?

I've lost my faith in the world. In myself. In God.

I notice Dr. Reed leaves the room and Harry turns to look at me. I'm pulled out of my daze by Harry shaking my shoulders.

"Cath. We can go home now." I look up at him and see his disappointed, melancholy face.

I feel tears filling my eyes, so I turn the other way trying to blink them away.

It breaks my heart knowing I'll never be able to give him children. It makes my body ache, seeing the disappointment on his face. I know we wouldn't have had kids for at least three years after we get married, but still. The thought of knowing we can't make something beautiful together...

I don't know how to handle this. He probably doesn't even want to marry me anymore. I can't give him a family, so why would he wanna be with me?

Harry grabs under my arms to help me up. He holds onto my waist and sits me down in the wheelchair waiting for me. I hate how they literally make you get wheeled out. It draws so much attention from everyone. People are already judgy enough, I'd rather not make a spectacle of myself. Stupid hospital policy.

My mom's already packed everything, so all we have to do is head to the nurses' station for my discharge papers. Harry wheels me over there to sign the papers saying I'm all good. The nurse hands Harry the clipboard and pen, which he passes on to me. I see a bunch of highlighted areas which I assume are all the places I have to sign. I sigh, just wanting to go home. Harry squeezes my shoulder in assurance, like he knows what I'm thinking. I look up at him and smile back. The paperwork didn't take as long as I thought, but I still feel anxious to get home and be in my own space for awhile.

The car ride home is long. It's only twenty minutes to my house but it feels like hours. Dynasty by Miia is playing on the radio, how ironic. No, Miia, I won't get to build my own "dynasty" because I can't have children. I try to zone the music out and focus on happier thoughts. The only good thing going in my life is Harry. And my mom, I guess. I try to think about the wedding and all the planning that needs to be done.

We pull in the driveway and Harry comes around to my side and helps me out of the car. When we finally make it inside I head for the couch. It's a nice feeling, being back in my childhood home, even though things weren't always that great here. I just needed something familiar. Something constant in my life.

I want to start planning Harry and I's wedding to keep my mind off of the news we received earlier today. I call for my mom who's in the kitchen making dinner. She comes rushing out with her hands all wet.

"What is it, Cath? What's wrong?" She says in a panicked manner.

I put my hands out, waving her down saying, "Nothing! It's fine. I'm fine."

"Then what is it?" She says with confusion on her face.

"Umm... well I thought we could start planning my wedding," I say, looking down in embarrassment. I can feel my cheeks turning pink.

"Oh! O-Of course we can!" She says, stumbling her words slightly. I can tell I've caught her off guard. "Can we start after dinner? It's almost done."

"Sure!" I chirp. "What are we having?"

"All your favorites!! Spaghetti, chicken, and mac and cheese!!" My mouth begins to salivate at the thought of good, home cooked food. All I've had was shitty hospital food the past few days.

For this short moment, I forget about all my problems and head into the kitchen to enjoy dinner with Harry and my mom.

———————————————————————

Author's Note:

Hello lovies!! How are y'all doing?

Question of the Day:
What decade or era is your favorite? Which one would you have liked to live in? Why?

Answer: The 80s!! The music is amazing, the hair was cool, & the outfits were on point 💁🏼‍♀️

Vote, comment, and share!! I've had over 1000 reads just in the last two weeks! I can't thank you all enough! It means so much! ❤️