☆

CLARA DIDN'T EVEN RECALL FALLING ASLEEP. She could feel someone lightly shaking her shoulder, their voice cutting through the sleepy daze that fogged her mind. The girl half-heartedly hit the hand on her shoulders away as the man's words grew clearer and louder. She groaned loudly in frustration, shoving her face into the cushions.

"Shush," the girl mumbled, turning over further into the seat, her mind pleasing for the person to piss off and leave her rest.

"Clara, up." Tommy huffed, shaking her once more. The girl moaned and rubbed her eyes as her brother towered over her.

"What?" She grumbled, opening one eye at him.

"I'm going,"

Clara bolted up, "Already? But we only got here!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide in shock.

"I'm going...you're staying. You can get the train back tomorrow evening." Tommy briefly explained, lighting his cigarette.

"Tomorrow? Wait, I get to stay here? With Ada?" Clara shook her head trying to rid her mind of all sleepiness.

"Yes, you can stay here with Ada," Tommy nodded, "but Clara, I mean it. No trouble."

"Yeah, yeah, got it." She nodded. Tommy nodded before he walked out of Ada's parlour, the fading footsteps signalling his leave.

Clara yawned, stretching her arms above her head as she heard Ada bidding their brother goodbye. She sat up straight, swinging her legs back around the seat so she was sitting normally. The room she was sitting in was quite lavish. Paintings were hung on each wall, the decorations littered around the room almost mimicking the parlour of their childhood home— the home Clara still resided in.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Ada sang, as she re-entered the parlour. In her arms she carried a tray with two teacups and a porcelain teapot, clinking and clanking against each other as she walked.

"Hah, hah," Clara mocked, rolling her eyes with a small smile, her eyes trailing after her sister as she placed the tray down onto the small table.

"Well, c'mon, get over here," Ada huffed and waved the younger girl over as she sat down on the sofa. Clara slowly pushed herself to her feet and strolled over towards her sister, where she was promptly dragged down onto the cushions of the sofa.

"Alright, alright," Clara laughed, settling back against the sofa as Ada poured the tea.

"Well...tell me,"

"Tell you what?"

Ada huffed and shifted to face her sister with her tea in her hand. "Everything...tell me everything I've missed!" She said, sipping her tea.

"There's not much to tell," Clara shrugged, although she knew it was a lie. There were a thousand small things she could ramble on about. A thousand things she could let slip and talk about for hours. But she wouldn't. She couldn't.

"Mhm...I don't believe you," Ada hummed, "The Shelby girl's club must stick together, yes?"

"I hear you're not much of a Shelby lately,"

"Oh, please! Fine...the Shelby-Thorne alliance must stick together."

"Better I suppose," Clara mused as she picked up her tea. "If you really want to know, our brothers tried to kill my best friend, Arthur is mad as hell all of the time and Tommy is still being an arse." She summarised. Her mind flashed with images of Penny, wondering whether or not to spill the overview of her troubles. "I...uh, I have exams starting on Tuesday, so, yeah...that's all."

"Glad to know things are relatively normal then," Ada chuckled, "Tommy told me that you've been a right pain the arse recently."

"Did you talk about me when I was asleep?!"

"Only a small bit."

Clara's jaw went slack, her eyebrows scrunched curiously as Ada sipped her tea.

"Well, what did you talk about?" The younger girl questioned.

"Tommy thinks you're hiding something," Ada answered honestly, "Says you've been a mess. Asked me to try to figure out what it is."

"And are you?...going to try, I mean," Clara leaned further back against the soft material, trying to keep a calm and collected composure.

"When do I ever listen to Thomas Shelby?" Ada retorted, giving the girl a knowing look. "You'll tell me if you want to tell me."

Clara silently nodded. Clara wondered if she should tell her sister just how much she had missed the older girl. How she had missed covering for her sister as she snuck out and had missed Ada covering for her. How she had missed Ada backing her up whenever a challenge arose. She had missed Ada so bloody much.

"I know something is troubling you though, I could feel it as soon as you walked in." Ada briefly stated, "Shelby sister senses never fail, eh?"

Clara let out a short laugh, "Never," she agreed. The girl took a small breath in as she sipped her drink. "I miss seeing you around Small Heath. Miss keeping your secrets."

"Well, how about this, I'll tell you a secret right now," Ada began, "And you tell me a secret and then we go out drinking and have fun?"

"Fine," Clara smirked, placing down her cup. "As long as this isn't a ploy to tell you everything."

"You can tell me whatever you feel fit to,"

"Okay...you first."

"Fine," Ada huffed, placing down her own cup beside the girls. She turned in her seat to face the younger girl. "I've met someone...I think. He's a friend for now but I like him...but I feel so guilty, Clara."

"Why? Because of Freddie?"

"I've only just buried the man for god's sake!"

"Look, Ada, Freddie wanted you to be happy, and I think if you are happy, you're honouring his memory." Clara carefully spoke, thinking each of her words through.  "He loved you and love is a fickle thing in that way."

"And what do you know of love, you cynic?" Ada teased as her lips quirked up. Clara looked down at her tea, which was now shaking in the cup due to her trembling hand. She placed the cup down with a small clatter as she wrung her hands. When the girl failed to smile, Ada's eyes narrowed on her.

"I know nothing..." Clara admitted, her nose scrunched up.

There was a pause as Ada seemingly processed her words and watched her reaction.

"Is that what's been troubling you?"

Clara should've known Ada would figure out her problem, she always seemed to and so, Clara found herself hesitantly and silently nodding at her sister's words.

"Ada...I've done something terrible." Clara whispered, "and I've messed up everything and I can't undo it."

"Surely, it can't be that bad?" Ada moved forward and placed a hand over Clara's shaking ones.

"I had someone and they...they lo—" Clara swallowed as the breath caught in her throat. Christ, she couldn't even say the word now.

"Loved you?" Ada guessed, her face drawn in sympathy.

"Yeah...but I...couldn't." She stumbled over her words. Clara shook her head. She scrunched her nose, her eyes still actively avoiding Ada's. The older girl seemed to be taken aback by the uncollected version of the girl's thoughts.

"Well, do you?" The older girl asked, her eyebrows furrowed. Clara felt a knot grow in her stomach like her intestines were constricting her other organs.

"Do I what?"

"Love them?"

Clara looked down at her trembling hands and shrugged. She didn't know. She didn't know if she would ever know. She didn't know what love felt like? Or did she? She had no way of telling.

"I don't know," Clara replied, "but it doesn't matter now...I'm here, they're there and I just want to forget it really."

"But you can't?"

Clara looked away once more, shaking her head ever so slightly. She felt almost ashamed of it.

"Then it sounds like you need a night off," Ada smiled, putting her hand on top of the younger girl's. "C'mon, I'll find you one of my old dresses! You and I are going out!"

Clara's shoulders relieved their tension. If there was one thing she adored about Ada, it would be the fact that the woman didn't pry. She let things be and Clara was so utterly thankful for that.

☆

CLARA WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF ADA'S VANITY, her teeth were sunk deep into her bottom lip as Ada placed another pin in her hair. She looked different. Her face felt like it had been tampered with by magic. Rouge had been powdered across her cheeks, giving them a soft blush they recently lacked. Her lips were sheathed in soft pink, her Cupid's bow sharp and defined. Her eyelids were covered in a copper shadow, making the startling blue of her eyes pop out even more than usual.

Her hair was neatly pinned back in the style that Ada claimed was 'very fashionable' there in London. Clara watched carefully as her sister worked. The older girl's eyes were narrowed, her eyebrows scrunched in concentration. It reminded Clara of the times when they were younger, where Ada would treat her like a play doll and dress her up. Clara felt a small smile spread across her face because, although she didn't feel like herself and looked different, she was glad to be with Ada.

The dress she was wearing was emerald in colour, with intricate beading along the hem, silver fringing rimming the layers of the bottom half. The dress was lovely, even Clara could admit it. Ada had lied when she said she'd find Clara an old dress of hers, in fact, the dress she was wearing had only been bought days ago by Ada, who saw it hanging up and immediately decided to hand it over to Clara.

"There you go," Ada smiled, placing her hands on Clara's shoulders as she finally finished the girl's hair. "You look...Woah, just Woah,"

Clara laughed, her eyes tracing the unknown figure in the mirror. It was a surreal feeling. She knew it was her in the reflection...but was it really? She plastered a smile across her face, meeting Ada's eyes.

"I love it, thank you," Clara hummed, standing up from her seat.

"Anytime, weasel!" Ada released, peeking her head around the door of the bedroom to look out into the hall. "James? You ready?"

"Almost!" The man called back. Clara wanted to talk to him. She would talk to him. She didn't know what about, but she had to. The girl slipped her feet into the flat shoes Ada had laid out for her.

"I never asked where we're going," Clara spoke, watching as Ada fixed her rouge.

"The 43 club, it's down in Soho," she answered briefly, "been there a few times, it's great for drinks and dancing."

"Am I even allowed in there?" Clara scrutinised.

"Of course not, why do you think I dolled you up?" Ada chuckled, "if you're with me and James and you stay quiet until we're in, we'll be fine."

"Mhm..."

Clara sat on the edge of Ada's bed as she watched her sister shrug on a shawl, fixing up her lipstick as she went.

"Right, let's go weasel, head up," Ada ordered, "The Shelby-Thorne sister alliance must be met with drinks!"

☆

THE 43 CLUB WAS REMARKABLE. Wide chandeliers hung above, the shimmering glass sending glittering reflections cascading down onto the dozens. Clara looked around as she scanned her surroundings out of habit. A jazz band was playing, the new age of music filling the club as people danced on the allocated space in the centre. Some people sat at tables just watching and drinking, but others took the floor and swung themselves around in a sharp, distinct and erratic way. It was an odd thing to witness, it was so far off any of the distinguished dances she'd been taught or shown.

Clara liked it.

She followed James and Ada to an empty table, where the woman sprang into action and ordered a bottle of champagne for the table. Clara pulled out a cigarette and lighter before Ada snatched them out of her hands and handed her a fancy little black cigarette she'd seen women buy and use. They were marketed towards women, but they were shit and tasted like shit too. Clara knew that but she didn't complain. Ada handed her a long, golden cigarette holder and with a prompting nod, Clara was finally allowed to light it. She sucked in a deep inhale of smoke, exhaling a little of it before inhaling it once more.

"'s a nice place," Clara commented, leaning back into her seat. Her eyes scanned the painted ceilings and decadent decor.

"More than nice, it's fun," Ada cheerfully grinned, watching as three champagne flutes and a bottle were placed on their table. Clara almost forgot that this wasn't the wild Ada she once knew, the Ada that wasn't a mother. Clara had asked after her nephew, and her sister merely waved a hand and told her that she'd hired a nanny.

Clara tipped back her flute of champagne, letting the bubbles fizz through her throat in a flurry of warmth. She had no care in keeping up formalities as she downed it and reached to pour herself another.

"Might want to slow down," James said, "It's better to pace yourself."

"I've been drinking since before I could walk, and this stuff won't get me drunk, just tipsy, hence the excessive amount," Clara told the man, pouring out another glass of champagne.

James' eyebrows raised as she downed yet another glass before leaning further back into her seat. Ada's eyes were trailing around the room before she straightened up. Her cheeks flushed almost instantly, causing the younger Shelby to grin mischievously.

"Where is he then?" Clara questioned, turning in her seat as Ada gripped her arm.

"No, don't look!" She hissed, her eyes flitting up nervously.

"Alright, alright!" The younger girl chuckled, watching as Ada continued to make eye contact with whoever she was seeing.

"Do you mind if I..?" Ada suddenly asked, her teeth gnawing into her lower lip.

"Go ahead," Clara chortled, taking a dig of champagne.

"Yeah, go," James nodded, his eyes glancing around the room. Ada smiled widely and disappeared into the crowd. Clara and James sat silently (and almost awkwardly) at the table, both of their eyes scanned the room and its occupants.

"So, James...you're a writer?" Clara began, her eyes narrowing on the crowd as she inhaled a lungful of smoke.

"Uh, yes, I am," James answered.

"Well? What do you write?"

"Uh mainly mysteries, sometimes romance." James scratched his head awkwardly.

"Mhm..." Clara hummed as she exhaled a small cloud with a smile. "Write anything recently?"

"Just a few things here and there,"

"Can I read some?" The girl tilted her head curiously towards the man.

"A few of them are personal, but uh, I can give you a few others." He stammered.

"I look forward to it," Clara smiled, more genuine this time. She looked around for any sign of her sister before she moved her seat closer to the man. "Look...um, I need to ask you something."

"Oh...yes, go ahead," James nodded, sipping his champagne.

"Earlier you said something...and, Jesus Christ, why is this so hard?" Clara whispered, her voice careful and low. "You, um...you don't like women, do you?" James' eyes widened in fear as he looked around.

"You can't say that out here!" He whispered back to her.

"Okay, I won't...but please, do you or don't you?"

James was silent. His eyes scanned the girl for any angry motive or any sign she would snitch.

"Can't you ask me this back at the house?" James replied shortly.

"No." Clara shook her head, "I didn't have time earlier, I'm gonna be hungover tomorrow and I'm also going home tomorrow evening. I need to ask you now."

James' eyes darted around the room nervously, hesitant to answer. "Fine...I don't like them!" He eventually hissed, "but don't go broadcasting that! You heard Ada talking about it earlier!"

"I just had to make sure," Clara mumbled, reaching over to down her sister's abandoned glass of champagne.

"Why? Look, I just can't—"

"I think I'm like you," the girl muttered, cutting off the man. James went quiet. Clara shook her head as she poured another glass. "and no...my sister doesn't know, my family don't know and I don't plan on telling them."

"So you..." James trailed off.

"Yeah...I like girls." Clara faintly whispered. This was possibly her first time ever actually saying those words in a sentence. "Sometimes I wish I didn't, y'know?...but then other times it's the only thing that keeps me anchored."

"I guess I can understand that," James nodded. He seemed a lot more relaxed than before. "I heard you and Ada earlier... so your problem was with a...girl?"

"Were you eavesdropping?" The girl mused, raising a brow but as she saw James' blatant curiosity she sighed. "Yeah, it was about a girl," Clara smiled through a sigh before her face dropped. "She means everything to me...but I, uh, I messed it all up."

"How did you mess it up?" James asked inquisitively, leaning forward as if he was watching one of his own plots unfold before him.

"I couldn't tell her that I loved her," Clara spoke, her eyes cast down at her fiddling thumbs. "Please don't ask if I do...because, I..."

"Do you think about her a lot?" James cut her off, leaning closer.

"With every breath I take, she's there in my mind," Clara said dully. "Can't shake her."

"Mhm," James scrunched his nose before lowering his voice so he was even quieter. "Look, I don't know if I'll ever find 'the one', for people like us it's unlikely. If you really like this girl and she loves you, don't let that slip away so quickly."

"It's not that easy—"

"I know, I know that feeling more than you think. You see we don't know each other. I don't know you at all, Clara, but from the sound of it, you're head over heels. I write romance from time to time and the way your face lights up every time you speak of her, the way you can't stop thinking of her...to me?"

James paused, his eyes scanning Clara's slack face as she processed the words.

"That looks and sounds a lot like the love I write in my work as well as the love seen throughout all great literature. Perhaps your story will be one of the greats, but you'll never know if you don't stop holding back. What are you holding back?"

Clara looked down. What was she holding back? Fear? Concern? Everything? She didn't know.

"I won't tell you what to feel, but if you're frightened, which is bound to happen, that's not always a bad thing," James continued, more softly this time. "Fear is just a variant of excitement, don't you think?"

The feeling that had knotted in Clara's stomach had unravelled and she was filled with a sudden warmth. No...oh no...oh no, oh no, oh no. The girl gulped loudly as her jaw clenched.

"Christ..." Clara buried her head in her hands as her emotional dam exploded. It felt like she was being blasted by the sun or even by a bomb. The warmth embraced her, hugging her from head to toe in an inferno of emotion. Her head felt light and fluffy, the sirens in her brain calling mayday.

"I'm in love with Penny Crawford..."

☆

CLARA HARSHLY RUBBED HER FACE, her eyebrows forcefully scrunched together as her flushed face burned bright under the harsh lights of the 43 Club's bathrooms. She hadn't allowed James to get another word in as she practically fled the table after her untimely confession.

She loved Penny Crawford.

The knotting in her stomach, it was love. It always had been. Fear and love mixed together perhaps. Clara loved the girl so much her heart felt like it was exploding. She loved her so much that her mind spun and collapsed in on itself at the mere thought of her. Clara Shelby loved Penny Crawford so much that everything she did was based on the premise of pleasing the blonde.

Clara cursed herself for her actions of the past week. If she could turn back time she could. Regret was a horrid, odd feeling. It felt like a knife twisting and turning in both her gut and heart, whilst her mind was attacked with dozens of needles sent forth by guilt as a catalyst of a bombardment of emotions.

Clara's hands clamped down onto the counter ahead of her. In the mirror, her eyes were almost black, with no sign of blue in sight. The bags under her eyes suddenly seemed to peek through the makeup Ada had applied so carefully earlier. She looked horrible. Her eyes flitted around the mirror's reflection, focusing on her surroundings.

The bathroom itself wasn't crowded, in fact, Clara was one of three girl's in there. The girl on her right was powdering her nose, the sequins of her dress glittering under the light, whilst the girl on her left was nonchalantly lining up Tokyo across the marble counter. Clara watched curiously as the other girl bent down and shamelessly sniffed up the powder. The Shelby girl watched as the London girl did it without any care in the world. It must've been nice. It was fascinating to watch and Clara didn't even realise she was staring at the girl until the two locked eyes.

"Gonna keep staring?" The unfamiliar girl mused.

"Uh...sorry," Clara sputtered, her cheeks growing redder at the fact she'd been caught.

"You're not from here, are you?" The girl asked, tapping out a little more powder.

"That obvious?"

"No...the only thing that gives it away was your accent. Want some?"

Clara's eyes widened significantly, as she looked towards the serious girl as she took another sniff of the powder using paper as a funnel of sorts.

"This stuff is the only thing getting me through this club's bullshit prices," the girl chuckled, "Costs a fortune for a drink...so?" She held out a rolled-up piece of paper towards the girl.

Clara paused. It's not like she hadn't taken it before in Small Heath. At least this time she wouldn't be caught by her brothers or Will or...Penny. The Shelby girl weighed the pros and cons in her head before moving closer to the unfamiliar girl.

Without another word, Clara took the paper and bent forward. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she assumed it had come loose as she had escaped the table. She let out a shallow exhale before she placed the rolled-up paper above the line white powder. And then she inhaled through her nose and sucked up all remnants of the Tokyo.

The powder tickled her nose in places she knew she couldn't possibly reach. Clara raised her head and handed the paper back to the girl as she pulled away from the counter. She turned to face the girl and blinked hard at the lack of distance between them. The girl had a wolfish smile plastered across her face, as Clara offered up a smirk.

"Never caught your name," the girl began, twirling the paper between her fingers.

"Never threw it," Clara lazily shrugged, her ears had begun to develop a ringing as she leaned back against the counter. The girl moved an inch closer, her eyes trailing the Shelby girl's face.

"I'm Nadia," the girl smiled, holding up her hand in the little space between them.

"Clara," she finally admitted, taking the girl's hand and shaking it firmly.

"No last name?" Nadia mused.

"No...you?"

"Nope,"

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Nadia."

"Ditto, Clara."

☆

HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL READERS!

LEMME START BY SAYING THAT NADIA WILL BE A RECURRING CHARACTER IN ACT THREE!

ANYWAYS, this has gotta be one of my favourite chapters I adore it <333

How is everyone on this fine Friday? I am quite good, just a little tired!

I ADORE YOU ALL (and here's your weekly meme)