☆

TWO WEEKS. Two weeks of nonstop supervision when leaving the house, two weeks of constant chores and Clara's introduction back into society. Two weeks of ignoring her older brother, two weeks of uncharted moods and an unsettled dynamic between the entire family. Almost four weeks after the attack.

With Ada away, and Clara and Tommy furiously avoiding one another along with Clara's newfound anger, the entire family was on eggshells. The only time her family saw the girl was at meals, or when John had to drop and collect her from school like a small, little baby. Other than that, she spent her days under strict instruction not to leave her room.

Clara was fed up. Fed up with her family, with her brother, fed up with the same boring four walls, fed up with all these new rules instated. She hadn't been to the stables since the day before the attack— almost a month and counting. She missed her horse, she missed riding him. She missed the smell of hay and the familiarity of the stables.

Clara was a wreck. She only ate when forced to by Pol, she only spoke if she had a spiteful remark to spit, she would curse out her family, pushing away each and every single one of them, including Finn who'd tried his best to cheer her up. She hadn't meant to but rage clouded her mind like an ominous fog. She would go to school and not speak to Will or Penny, opting to remain silent. During break time, she'd sneak around the side of the building and smoke cigarettes she'd steal from Arthur when he wasn't looking. Sometimes Will and Penny joined her, and sometimes they didn't, leaving her to remain in her little bubble of anger.

It was obvious that the Shelby family was getting sick and tired of the girl's behaviour. There would be a passing remark about her from John and Arthur while Pol outwardly displayed her accusations that Tommy had been too harsh to the girl. The two siblings didn't speak of what happened that night, leaving the family to contemplate and try to piece together what had happened to cause such a rift. They knew she had snuck out but usually, her punishment was a normal week-long house arrest.

This time was different.

Pol had tried to talk to both, trying to figure out what had happened, yet Clara and Tommy reacted similarly, with a shake of a head and a harsh 'nothing'. The woman was at her wit's end. They were acting like kids.

"CLARA!"

The girl's head snapped up from her book. She was sprawled across her bed, balancing her book in one hand as she read. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, her cheeks sunken and pale. She looked sick. She wasn't, but she looked at it. Clara slipped out of her room and down the stairs, her usual bounding footsteps replaced by a ghostly patter as she crept downstairs.

"What?" She asked harshly, folding her arms over her jumper. Pol raised her brows at the girl's tone, earning a half-apologetic mumble from the girl.

"You and I need to talk," the woman began, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table where two teacups had been set up. "Sit." Clara tentatively sat, the cuffs of her jumper swallowing the entirety of her hands.

"I don't want to be down here," the girl grumbled, placing her head on her sleeve-covered hand as she leant against the table. "It's bad enough I'm stuck in this house."

"My girl, this is your punishment for sneaking out, there's no avoiding it." Pol chuckled, pouring boiling water into the cups. "It may seem unfair, and I agree that some of the conditions are ridiculous, but it's for your own good."

"No, it isn't."

"Agree to disagree."

Clara fought the urge to roll her eyes as her aunt remained her calm and collected self. The girl watched as Pol blew on the hot beverage before sipping away.

"Is that all?" She asked, watching the steam from her cup wisp and flutter through the air.

"Patience," Pol warned, placing down her cup. "My girl, you're a wreck."

"Thanks, Pol, how bloody nice of you." Clara scoffed bitterly.

"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about." The woman sternly pointed out. "Whatever happened between you and Tommy must be left behind you. Be the bigger person here. Your house arrest is almost over and—"

"He told me I'd be on house arrest for a lot longer,"

"Ah, but I'm telling you differently."

Clara now sat up a bit straighter. "Whatcha mean?" She asked curiously, her fingers toying with the handle of the teacup.

"Ah, so now you're interested in conversation?" Pol laughed smugly into her drink. "Your brother is a rational man...but we both know he has his own little flare of drama. He hates not being in control...and that's the very thing that'll destroy him."

"Not being in control?" Clara snorted, "I think he's shown just how much bloody control he has."

"Not when it comes to you. You and Ada are oddities to him, Clara. You're one of the only things he can't control." Pol explained, "You're a pair of phenomenons that he can't figure out. He can't and won't figure either of you out, no matter how hard he tries."

Clara was silent as her aunt talked. Cautiously picking up the teacup, she carefully drank some of the hot beverage.

"Tommy's gone for today...he's on business, which is why I want you to go upstairs and get changed. I can buy you a few hours between now and dinner." Pol smirked, "So, finish your tea and tidy yourself and off you go. I can't have you moping around here with that attitude anymore."

Clara bit her lip to hide her smile. She quickly gulped down the tea, almost choking as she guzzled it. Her aunt watched with a twinkle in her eye as the girl placed the empty cup on the table.

"Now, off you go." She instructed, waving her hand as Clara beamed. The girl bounded upstairs to tidy herself up as her aunt reached forward and pulled the empty cup towards her. The woman studied the contents remaining in the dregs, leaning back with a soft 'hmpf'. Pol quirked a brow, as she took a puff of her cigarette, her eyes trained on the empty cup.

☆

AS SOON AS HER FEET HIT THE ASPHALT, she was running. Clara's hair whipped around in the wind, her shirt billowing in the air as she sprinted out of Watery Lane. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as the air hit her flushed face. Her feet slapped against the gravel, as she jetted past the various figures that blurred in her speed. She didn't know where she was going, all she knew was that she was going to relish her day, no matter what.

The girl's lips pulled into a genuine smile as she veered down the various lanes, not bothered to keep an eye out of any overbearing siblings or blinders on duty. She was running. To where that might be, she didn't know. But she knew she needed to get out of the range of Watery Lane.

The girl skidded to a stop outside of the bright and colourful shop, her red cheeks ablaze and her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath. Clara pushed open the door, the soft twinkle of the bell alerting the girl behind the counter.

"Clara?" Penny questioned, her nose scrunching up as she tilted her head. Clara looked wild, her hair messily strewn from the wind and her shirt sleeves rolled up. "I thought you weren't allowed out?"

"I need to get out of Small Heath for a while," the girl stated abruptly, her eyes trained on Penny's. "Wanna come?"

The blonde girl looked around tentatively, her teeth gnawing into her lip as she furrowed her brows. "I-" she began.

"Please?"

The word left a bitter taste in Clara's mouth. Her mind instantly shot her back to the canal and to the screams and the pain. Shifting uncomfortably, she locked her hands in front of her.

Penny's face dropped, her blonde curls bouncing as she slowly nodded. "I'll ask, but can you wait outside?" She asked, "They won't let me go if they see you."

It was now Clara's turn to furrow her brows, with a reluctant nod, she exited the shop. Leaning against the wall, propping a foot up as she waited. Her hand latched around her scuffed pocket watch glancing at the time before shoving it into her pocket. There were four hours until Pol usually made dinner. If they left now and ran to the stables, they could be out of Small Heath within the hour. Clara rocked on her heels, waiting for Penny to reappear. She was growing more restless by the second. She tapped her fingers against her arm, her nails biting into her skin.

When Penny finally emerged from the shop, she flashed the Shelby girl a sheepish smile. "Sorry," she winced, "Mum wouldn't let me leave so easily."

"Whatcha tell her?" Clara asked as the two began to stroll down the street.

"That I forgot that I have to help tutor a kid in our class," the girl answered, her head tilting as she slid her arm into Clara's. "She doesn't believe that the Shelby's are the best influences."

Clara looked down at her feet, "Yeah, well she wouldn't be wrong..." she muttered as the blonde's grip on her tightened.

"I think she is." Penny continued, her head now held a bit higher. "I know you're a good influence, Clara Shelby."

"You might be the only person who'll ever think that."

"Maybe...but it's true, I know it is."

Clara allowed a small, weak smile to creep across her face as they walked. The grey clouds above allowed the dull atmosphere to thrive as the two girls slipped past the factories, and down another street leading to Charlie's Yard. The Shelby girl unlinked her hand with Penny's eagerly pulling her towards the stables, her feet pounding against the mud as she sprinted.

Clara let go of the other girl's hand, racing towards Cannon. The horse let out a loud whinny as the girl threw open the stable door and rushed to pet the horse's nose. Penny watched as Clara spoke to the horse in a hushed voice, her hand soothingly caressing the animal. The blonde allowed a small smile to grace her face.

Clara ran her hand over the horse, her eyebrows furrowing as she leaned her head into her horse. She'd missed him. He missed her. It was a known fact that Clara Shelby without horses in her life was not Clara Shelby at all.

"Wanna go out, boy?" Clara whispered, her eyes lovingly tracing his tan coat. "We'll take you on a nice long ride out of Small Heath, yeah?"

"Penny, will you grab the lead and harness from the hook?" The girl continued, tilting her head towards the blonde who stood watching her curious eyes holding an unrecognisable glint.

Penny returned moments later, stepping back and watching as Clara laughed and chuckled at the horse. Her loose hair draped over her back, her eyes bright as they'd been before. All traces of the accident she'd experienced weeks ago had vanished, and Penny knew that some part of Clara had changed. She hadn't known what had happened to her, nor did she intend to find out. If Clara wanted to tell her, she would.

"Alright, Penny, you riding with me?" Clara asked, guiding the horse out of the stables and into the muck.

"Yeah," The blonde's head bobbed, "Still can't ride."

"Told ya I'd teach you, I plan to see that through," Clara stated, her head high as she confidently threw her leg over the horse, straddling the saddle.

The Shelby girl's hand outstretched, lingering in the air before Penny slid her hand into hers, allowing herself to be pulled up on the animal. The blonde girl shifted, balancing herself on the animal, as Clara reached forward and grabbed the reins, tightening her grip.

Clara yearned to take off in a bolt, yet she kept herself composed, not wanting to startle the blonde. She eased the horse forward, trotting the path out of Small Heath. She had dreamt of doing this since the week of her attack. She had dreamt of escaping Small Heath and its ominous clutches. She dreamt of escaping her egotistical, older brother and her overwhelming mind.

The girl relished the fresh air as the two galloped out of Small Heath, out of the gravel streets and the gravel roads.

Clara Shelby was free. Well, physically she felt free, although her mind struggled to stop her thoughts from caving in. She gulped away her gnawing fears, trying to leave them behind in the smog-filled city. Her mind focused on the blonde sitting in front of her, her back pressed against her front as Penny made herself comfortable.

"I reckon at this rate you could sit behind me on the way back," Clara spoke up.

"You think?"

"I do,"

"Are you sure I'm ready?" Penny asked nervously.

"You're ready... you'll just have to trust me."

"I do...I do trust you."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

☆

CLARA KNOTTED THE LEAD AROUND THE SAME TREE she'd tied Cannon to the last time they were out here. They'd managed to track down and locate their little Havana once more, the trees above rustling with every gust of wind, the pond growing a thin layer of algae.

Although the dark sky made the area look just as dull as the city, their spot looked as if it had been freshly kissed by the sun. Clara watched as Penny approached the tree in the middle of their spot. The Shelby girl hid a small smile, her mind flashing to the images of Alice in Wonderland. Penny was wearing her signature blue dress— bearing an uncanny resemblance to the main character of the novel.

Clara never really understood the concept of the book from her childhood. She could never understand the depth of Wonderland and its beauty, yet here she stood. From the unkempt, emerald grasslands surrounding them to the bright flowers that bloomed wildly around the trees and pond, it seemed that Clara didn't have to look far to find and understand the acclaimed Wonderland.

"You coming over or not?" Penny called out, breaking the girl out of her trance. The girl had laid herself amongst the grass, her blue dress lingering below her knees, her blonde hair surrounding her head like a halo.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Clara rolled her eyes, stalking towards the girl with her hands in her pockets. She sat down on the ground, lowering herself until she was lying beside the blonde.

The two lay, their hair intertwining as they stared up at the dull sky. The wind swept the leaves above, sending a few tumbling around them. Penny turned onto her side, her head resting on her hands.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked quietly, looking at the girl who was fiddling with her fingers.

"Too much." Clara chuckled, "Too bloody much, Pen." The nickname had left her mouth before she could even process that she had said it.

"Well, I'm here to listen..."

Clara huffed as she turned onto her side, coming face to face with the girl. "A few weeks back, I got hurt...you know that. I got hurt because I was stupid. I didn't use my head." She scoffed, "My family has clamped down on me. First, they were overbearing and smothering and now half of them won't talk to me. There's no bloody inbetween with them."

"Maybe they're just worried for you," Penny suggested, "I saw how you looked after...even I was worried, Clara."

"You worried about me?"

"Of course, I did."

"You shouldn't've."

"...but I did."

Clara tilted her head away as a smile worked its way across her face. Her nose brushed against the grass. The dewy smell invaded her senses before she shifted to reface the girl.

"How's the shop?" Clara asked, diverting the conversation, her eyes trained on the blonde who traced the sky with her fingertips.

"The usual...Kids come in, they buy sweets, they leave." Penny tilted her head towards the girl. "Your brother, Finn stops by a lot, always pays even though he doesn't have to."

"Surprised he paid," Clara raised her brows, tucking her elbow beneath her head.

"He used his manners as well, it was quite surprising."

"Finn's young...I'm dreading him getting older and becoming a dick like the rest of my brothers."

"He's a good one...I can tell."

Penny smiled, her pink lips curling up as Clara met her eyes. The dark clouds above slowly scattered across the sky as the wind picked up.

"Clara..." Penny's voice was small, as she spoke.

"Yeah?" The Shelby girl opened an eye and raised a brow in question.

"Do you ever wish there was more?"

Clara turned her head in confusion.

"Whatcha mean?"

"I don't know actually...just more."

Clara laughed heartily, "Maybe," she finally nodded. "It's good to want more. Gives ya something to hope for."

"Do you really trust me?"

Clara swallowed, her mouth dry as her eyes flitted to the blondes. There was a sudden swarm of butterflies that stormed through her stomach as she watched the blonde reach out, her fingers beginning to daintily dance along Clara's jawline.

"Yeah..." Clara replied, looking away. "I trust you."

Penny's fingers carefully guided the girl's jaw so that Clara was now staring directly into her eyes. The blonde's eyes swam with emotion— an emotion Clara couldn't quite place. And Penny grew closer, Clara could feel the girl's breath warming her cheek, each laboured exhale getting closer and closer. Her eyes were wide. Clara couldn't move, it felt as if her body clenched and tightened all of her muscles, forcing her to stay put. She watched as Penny leaned closer, her lips a hair's breadth away from Clara's.

The Shelby girl's chest rose in anticipation and just as she willed her eyes close, something snapped.

The rain came pouring from the heavens, the dark clouds above releasing its sadness down onto the two girls. Startled, Penny jumped back. The two jumped to their feet in the lashing rain, bolting towards Cannon who was tied under a large tree.

Even though they'd only spent less than a minute in the weather, the heavy rain had soaked them both to the bone. Penny's blue dress stuck to her figure, her rosy cheeks predominantly standing out in comparison to her porcelain skin. Clara was silent as she watched the rain shatter down in sheets of grey.

Her heart was pounding out of her chest at the thought of what could have been. Clara scanned the blonde girl who was actively avoiding her gaze. Penny's hands fiddled with the hem of her dress, her teeth gnawing into her lip.

And so they stood, side by side. Their red cheeks were ablaze as they waited for the rain to pass and the clouds to clear, their racing hearts beating in sync.

☆

THE TITLE OF THIS CHAPTER IS A REFERENCE TO THE PHRASE 'PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS' BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE.

BUT IT ALMOST HAPPENED...IT ALMOST HAPPENED!!! I listened to Why don't we go there by 1D while writing this chapter and it made me so happy. ALSO SHE BY DODIE IS CLARA DESCRIBING PENNY idc idc

I finished writing act one of this book last night and oml, I am so ready to start writing for act two!!

How is everyone doing this fine Friday?!?

I hope you're well and if not, keep your head up, happiest can sometimes come in the smallest of things.

I LOVE YOU ALL AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON <3