Going home was bittersweet. Stevie's parents went back to Phoenix and Lindsey would be moving back into a separate bedroom but on the other hand, they were now a family of three and could begin life on their own without the constant presence of hospital staff.

Stevie breathed a sigh of satisfaction as she walked through the door into their home, Arabella fast asleep in her arms.

"We're home, baby girl!" Stevie said.

"Let me take the bags and I will sort them out. You should try to rest a little more. You've had an eventful last few days."

"Thank you." Lindsey watched her ascend the stairs, making sure she was alright. She had needed a couple of stitches and it was the first day she had been up and active since the birth. Once he saw she was okay, he went up stairs, opened the door to the nursery and unpacked the baby bag. He had noticed Stevie had packed far too many clothes, books and booties as hardly any of it went to any use. He smiled, knowing she must have gone over it and over it a million times, trying to make sure it was just right. He carefully refolded the tiny clothes and placed them in the dresser, straightened the pillow on the rocking chair and smoothed the pink bedding in the crib. A blanket Stevie had hand crocheted lay across the rails, pink and white with a ribbon woven on one corner and tied in a bow. It was beautiful. When he had finished, he turned off the light and shut the door, going to check on them in the bedroom.

"How are my girls?" he asked softly, poking his head through the doorway. Stevie's back was to him as she lay on her side and she looked over her shoulder.

"One of us was hungry" she said with a smile.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." She turned her attention back to the baby, her hand placed gently on the back of her head to keep her in position on the breast. He could hear soft suckling noises as he approached and his heart nearly burst.

"You are both so beautiful" he said.

"Thank you."

"Watching you feed her never gets old. Your body brought her here and your body sustains her. Women are amazing creatures." He sat down, careful not to disturb either of them. Stevie's eyes were closing slowly. She was still so tired and probably would continue to be for quite some time. Arabella was out as well, her mouth coming off the breast and he left her that way, not wanting to wake Stevie to cover back up. He pulled the blanket from where it lay on the floor from their fight and placed it over them. "I love you both so much" he whispered, leaving them alone to catch up on some much needed rest.

-------

Two hours later, like clockwork, Arabella was nursing again. Lindsey made sure they were both comfortable, and happy, doing some things around the house. He honestly wasn't needed that much at this time. Stevie fed and changed the baby all on her own. Lindsey had brought the bassinet into her room so Stevie could lay her down if need be when she went to the bathroom. She was slow, her hips still ached a little but she had told him she was feeling better. In just these few days, she had already started to look smaller. Her tummy was still soft, as were her hips but Lindsey loved the way she looked. She caught him staring at her more than once and he always tried to play it off as if he weren't looking. Something about her was even more fascinating now.

Some time in the afternoon, he brought her tea and sat with her for a while as the baby slept. They were both astounded by how quiet she was, only crying when she needed to be fed or changed. She was so small and her newborn diapers looked so big compared to her. It was a wonder they didn't fall off! Lindsey was getting pretty good at changing her as well and Stevie praised him every time, knowing how badly he wanted to be involved. Feeding time came around again and Lindsey brought the baby to her and Stevie was so grateful. The feedings seemed to be getting shorter but more frequent and getting up and down so often would have caused Stevie a little pain beyond making her even more exhausted.

Arabella settled and lay in her bassinet again, snoozing away and Lindsey brought Stevie a snack of yogurt and fruit. She was ravenous, burning more calories by nursing than she could possibly consume. She pat the spot next to her and he sat down. She laid her head on his shoulder and he instinctively kissed the top of her head. She smiled, biting into a piece of a peach Lindsey had quartered for her.

"Steph?"

"Mm-hmm?" she asked, still chewing.

"I'm not rushing you by any means but...do you think we will ever be okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think we can ever get past what happened between us?"

She shrugged, lifting her head and turning slightly to face him. The way she moved her body must have caused her discomfort because she winced a little. "I don't really hate you, I want you to know that, but I am really hurt. For years, you lied to me. I thought we had a gorgeous marriage and I was completely left in the dark. I understand that your judgment was clouded by alcohol, I know all too well how that goes, but it still doesn't make me feel any better."

"I know. I wish there was some way I could prove to you how sorry I really am and how much I regret all of this."

"You are, you're being a great dad and that's what I need from you right now." He nodded his understanding, sadness in his eyes. "I can't stop loving you, even if I tried."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. This won't last forever, I just can't give you a timeline of when it will be over. Be patient with me, be honest..."

"I will. I will do anything, I just don't want to lose you."

She didn't speak any further, putting her yogurt and what was left of her peach on the nightstand. She bit her fingernail, and it seemed as if she were really absorbing what he had told her. When she remained silent, he got up slowly and left her alone. He couldn't undo the damage he had already done but he could try not to cause any more.