Just as Stevie thought, she was serving drinks at the bar all night. David was just as much of a jerk as Lindsey had suggested, always trying to prove how much better he was than her husband. She could hardly stand to listen to him brag about one thing or another and put down their home. Sometimes Stevie would get little jabs in to shut him up but Lindsey would give her a look. After David had finally left in a cab, promising to come get his car the next day, Stevie cleaned up the bar area, wiping it down with a damp rag. It was late and she was tired, but couldn't bear to leave the mess for the morning. Lindsey was handling his alcohol better than Stevie imagined, given how much he had and she watched him pick up the towels draped over the lounge chairs and go inside to hopefully put them in the hamper.

"Thank you" she shouted and he nodded. She went back to her task, grabbing the glasses and sitting them on the end of the bar to take in, in a few minutes. Lindsey was close to her now, she could sense him there, but she ignored him. She didn't want to upset him by asking any questions. He was helping her and that was more than he had done in a very long time. A few moments later, he pressed himself to her back, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Hey you" he said in a low voice. His face was close to her ear and she could feel his breathe on her neck, making the tiny hairs there stand on end.

"Hey."

"I appreciate you not wearing your swimsuit out here in from of him."

"You're welcome."

"I don't like when men look at you like that. Im afraid you'll run away with one of my friends."

"I wouldn't, you know that. I love you too much."

"I love you too. Why don't you let me show you?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his handsome but tired face.

"Lindsey--" Stevie said, putting her cloth down and turning around the best she could before he pressed his hips to hers. "I would really like to talk first. I was talking to Evelyn today--"

"The shrink?" he asked angrily. "You're telling her about our problems?"

"She's not a shrink, Lindsey. She doesn't practice anymore, plus she's my friend. We were just having a conversation."

"What about?"

"I don't want to do it this way"

"What way?"

"Please, calm down. See, this is why I was afraid to approach you." she says, forcing herself not to cry.

"You're afraid of me?" he asked, softening a little.

"Sometimes and I don't want us to be that way. I want to go back to how we were when we were young. Remember when we first got married? We had nothing, my parents helped us with our wedding and they were so supportive of our dreams. Just because we had no money didn't mean that we weren't rich in a lot of other ways. We were rich in ambition, talent, drive...but most of all, baby, we were rich in love. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. When you caught me in our bedroom, I was looking at our old photo albums. How did we drift so far apart? How did we lose our connection?"

He looks down at her but can't quite meet her eyes.  "I don't know, Stevie."

"I miss you, the old you."

"I miss the old you too." he said.

"I'm right here, Lindsey. I never left, I never changed."

"Yes, you did. First, it was because we couldn't have a baby."

"You blamed me for it" she argued.

His eyes widen. "...Maybe I did." he tells her and he sees sadness flash in her deep brown eyes. "Let me finish. Next, it was the fame and the parties. We are rarely actually alone anymore, Stevie. The money went to your head, and we filled up this place with junk, expensive junk. The final nail in the coffin for us was my stupid affair. I knew I shouldn't have done it. At first, yes, I thought she was sexy but she was for you. She was supposed to be a collaborator or a back up singer- for you. She told me so many lies babe, I don't even know what she was supposed to be anymore. All I know, is she set out to break us up and I fell for it." He finally looked into her eyes and she saw how upset he was.

"I want to get past it. I've been trying to do exactly that for two years."

"But you can't?"

"I don't know."

"Do you trust me? You you think I'd do it again?"

"I don't know"

"Stevie, if you can't trust me, what the fuck are we doing here?"

"I don't know, Lindsey."

"So what, you're just going through the motions? Our whole marriage is bullshit then!"

"It is not!" she shouted back. "Our marriage was beautiful for years. I could have dealt with not being able to have our baby, I could have dealt with not buying our beautiful house and traveling and buying all of the 'expensive junk', but I can't deal with losing you, and I've been losing you for years."

"You think I don't know that? You think I like living with a woman who can't stand me?"

"It's not that I can't stand you, Lindsey it's that you make me feel worthless. You treat me like shit! All I ever wanted was to make you happy, to make you proud of me but I always end up as one big disappointment. Hell, we can't even talk about our feelings unless you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk now, and here we are."

"You've been drinking. I should know, I'm your little bartender for you and your friends all the time."

"You could say no"

"And risk you hurting me or talking down to me or about me? I don't think so. Do you know why I practically begged you to swim with me tonight? I wanted to make you comfortable and loved enough to come to me about how you feel. You threatened to divorced me when I egged your cars, and I admit it was stupid, childish thing to do but I wanted to open your eyes. I guess, in turn, you opened mine. I realized that if I didn't try to fix our marriage, we would truly crash and burn. Truth is, Linds, is I've been thinking about walking out for over a year."

He looked stunned. For some reason, even though he was afraid she would leave, he thought somehow she would always be here. "You want out?"

"I don't know what to do anymore, baby. I can't live like this. We are both so miserable but I could never bring myself to do it. I couldn't leave you."

"Are you trying to make me leave you first?"

"No, I just want you to notice that I'm here too. I want to matter to you. That's what this whole pool thing was about. I wanted to bring you out here and we would have margaritas and have fun for once. I miss the romance we had in our relationship. Is any of this making sense?" she asked, searching his eyes for even a fragment of understanding.

He exhaled heavily and stood next to her to lean against the bar. "What is it you want me to do? What can I do to make you happy, because apparently I don't know." he said. He turned his head to look at her and she smiled up at him.

"For right now, Linds, just you asking me that question means the world to me."

He leans forward and kisses the top of her head, still at a loss. He didn't want to lose her, he hated the thought of being alone and not seeing someone he loved so much everyday. To him, losing his wife would be a fate worse than death and he knew he had to figure something out. Stevie felt like they had made a lot of progress tonight and rather than press forward and emotionally exhaust them both, she chose to be happy for this victory, albeit a small one. She turned to finish her world and Lindsey helped her carry the glasses into the sink, shutting and locking the doors.

"Goodnight" Lindsey said.

"Goodnight" Stevie echoed, leaving the glasses to soak in the sink. She shut off the lights and went up her staircase alone, looking forward to feeling nothing for a few hours while she slept.