Lindsey returned from his morning jog, sweaty and tired. He had been gone for  hours and Stevie ventured to believe he had run to Timbuktu. He stripped off his running shoes and socks, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filled it with cool water. He chugged it, refilling it to drink at a much slower pace this time. Stevie took her headphones off, pressing stop on her walkman.

"They gave me the tapes today, for the album."

"Oh...yeah?" he asked, knowing what this meant. She heard every song, every angry guitar lick.

"They're beautiful, Linds."

"Thank you. I know we won't be working on it for a while but, it's coming up. Mick is getting pressure from Warner which is making him even more unbearable."

She nods. "Yeah, I know how he can be."

"Well, I'm going to take a shower, I will be back down and we can start lunch."

"That sounds great, I'm starving."

"I won't be too long." he said, ascending the stairs.

She turned her tape player back on, adjusting her headphones over her ears, starting the next song. At first, she recognized it to be Lindsey's and she smiled, but as soon as the words hit her, her expression changed. They dripped with a venom she was all too familiar.

She's so crazy
She's so lazy
Keeps on coming
Keeps you running

Caroline
Caroline

Time recedes
With a fatal drop
Dusty fury
On the mountain top
Cut the cord if you can

Cut the cord if you can? She stops the tape, deciding whether or not to continue. She has to listen through, she will most likely have to put harmonies on in the studio and she needs to be prepared.

Caroline
Caroline

She's so cagey
She's so stagey

Her jaw drops...surely this can't be about her, but who else could it be about?

So attractive
So reactive

Caroline
Caroline

Time recedes
With a fatal drop
Dusty fury
On the mountain top
Cut the cord if you can

Caroline
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline

Time recedes
With a fatal drop
Dusty fury
On the mountain top
Cut the cord if you can

Caroline
Caroline
Caroline
Caroline

Lindsey came down the stairs, not realizing he had just walked into a storm. The moment he came close to her, she leapt up from her chair and turned to face him. She's clearly upset and he looked her over, not really sure what's going on.

"This is what my perfume inspired you to write? She's so crazy, she's so lazy, she's so cagey, she's so stagey?!" She tossed the tape at him, hitting him in the chest.

"Fuck."

"Yeah, 'fuck' is right! How could you?!"

"Wait a minute"

"I will not!" she said, pushing him toward the living room. "You've been trying to break down my walls for weeks, trying to get me to forgive you..." She threw a pillow from the couch at him and he blocked it. "Then you write some cruel song about me?! I thought we were over this!" She threw another at him, then a third.

"Stevie, it's not about you!"

"You're right, it's about 'Caroline'! Only because Stevie or Stephanie didn't fit!" she shrieked, moving closer as he backed up.

"No!" She threw something else at him. It was soft, she didn't want to really hurt him, per se. "Stevie, baby, I swear!" He braced himself for another object but it never came.

"Fine" she huffed, straightening her clothes, brushing her hair back from her face. She tried to calm herself down but her chest was still heaving with anger. "You wanna talk, talk."

Lindsey looked at her and she crossed her arms, her eyes unwavering as anger struck through them like lightening. "It's not about you, it's about Lydia. She's fake and I fucking hate her, okay? She's always trying to act like we are doing something but we're not. She parades herself around in front of you to piss you off and in turn you get pissed off at me." She wanted to say something but he cut her off. "You deserve to be mad, you deserve to throw things at me- hard, heavy stuff." He could see the makings of a smile playing on her lips but she bit the inside of her cheek to stop it from happening. "Baby, I love you. I want you, and that's exactly what I told Lydia. If I could take back one decision, completely erase it from history, it would be that I ever let her into my life." He lowered his eyes to the floor and he heard her walk away, her boots hitting the floorboards. Her steps were fast, she was obviously still angry as she hurried up the staircase. He went to the kitchen and picked up the cassette tape, sticking it in his back pocket. Would he ever live this down? What more could he possibly do to make her hate him?

-----

Evening came and as he passed Stevie's room, he thought he heard crying, sniffling. He knocked on the door and only silence followed. He decided to press his luck and he knocked again. Stevie rose from the bed, tying her long, flowing silk robe around her body and opened the grand door.

"Hello" she said softly.

"Hello." he replied. "May I come in?" She stood aside and let him enter, shutting the door behind him.

"It's late."

"It is."

"What brings you here?" she asked softly, clearing the tissues from her bed.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

"I thought I heard you crying. Your eyes are so red."

"I appreciate your concern." she said politely.

"It's not about that stupid song, is it?" She shook her head. "Are you going to tell me why?"

"I don't think you'd really be interested. Besides, I'm not sure I want to talk."

"Especially to me, right? Steph, I'm your husband."

"Yes you are, but we obviously don't understand each other. Isn't that evident?"

"We don't communicate well, I give you that."

"Yeah" she said, sighing.

"Can we try though? I mean, can we talk?"

"What is there to really talk about?"

"I guess, for starters, why are you crying?" he asked and she grabbed a tissue, patting under her eyes. Her face was bare of makeup and he noticed that despite the tears, she looked exceptionally beautiful.

"I...I don't really know where to start"

"The beginning"

"See, that's not easy either." She sat on her bed, a leg curled beneath her and she pats the spot next to her, inviting him to sit down as well. He didn't remember ever being allowed in her room unless they were having sex and if he did enter, it was because he did so without her permission. He sat on her bed, and he saw within her that she needed gentle, soft contact but he was afraid to approach, afraid of being rejected. He touched the silk of her pajama bottoms, stroking it lovingly, unsure if he was allowed to touch her skin. This was usually as far as he got recently. She sniffled again, looking down into her lap.

"If you want me to go, I will." he said, feeling like an intruder.

"No, don't." she said quickly, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Alright" The silence was difficult and she looked  down again. "Did something happen? I saw a another doctor's appointment scribbled on the calendar."

"Oh, you noticed?"

"I notice a lot more than you think." he says. "You can tell me if there is something wrong. I promised to be here in sickness and in health."

"I know, I said those same vows."

"I want to keep my promise." he said, growing quiet. He didn't know where to look- at her, the opposite direction? The whole experience was making him uncomfortable, as she obviously didn't want to talk.

"I'm pregnant" she said suddenly and he gasped, not expecting that diagnosis. For some reason, something more deadly would have shocked him much less. She was becoming more and more reclusive, rarely leaving the house and if she did, she were shrouded in heavy, dark materials.

"Pregnant?" he asked and she nodded, wiping the tears that fell down her cheeks delicately with the tissue she had in her hand. "Uh...how far along?"

"Four months."

"Four months..." he repeated, trying to think back to when that might have been. He was drawing a blank, but really, it didn't matter.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm scared, Lindsey, and I was shocked. I, I don't know why I thought something like this couldn't happen, I just didn't see it coming. I was sick for days, weeks even and I should have known. I should have felt that something was different but I didn't. I think I was probably in denial. I thought about not having the baby but it didn't feel right. Once I knew there was a life growing inside of me..." She touched her stomach lightly with her finger tips. "I couldn't do it....What are you thinking?" she asked, noticing he hadn't said much at all. He was sitting across from her, perfectly still. He didn't blink for several moments and she frowned. In an instant, he pressed his lips to hers. She didn't know how to react but she went with it, reciprocating, a hand going to the side of his face. His hand followed, cupping her cheek as well. He pulled back, watching for a reaction, any sign at all. Would she take it, would she be angry? "Wh--?" she questioned, her eyes growing wide once more. Was it a mistake? Did he mean that?

"Do you feel better now? I mean, are you still sick?"

"No, just very, very hungry" she said and he chuckled.

"Understandable." he said. "You were pale for a while but now you have color in your cheeks and lips again. When I complimented you before, I meant it. You look really beautiful"

She blushed, looking down into her lap. "Thank you, Lindsey."

"As for the baby, I'm glad you kept it, but I still don't know why were you crying?"

"Look at us, Lindsey! We freeze each other out and when we're not giving each other the silent treatment, we fight constantly. I don't know what's worse! We torment each other like school children, not only with horrible insults and name calling, but the physical fighting...it's taxing. We fuck, we don't make love...and that's if we acknowledge each other at all. We've lost each other, Linds. The only reason we are still married is this stupid house and our stupid careers!" she shouted, getting up and pacing.

"Calm down."

"I'm upset! I'm carrying a child neither of us wanted. This wasn't supposed to happen." she said, tearing her robe open to expose herself in the silk camisole she wore with matching pajama bottoms.

"This baby is wanted by both of us, Stephanie. Just because we weren't trying doesn't mean we didn't want it."

"You mean that?" She stopped pacing and stared at him.

"I want to do this with you. I've missed out on months of time with you and our baby. You were locked away like a princess and you were unreachable. We've both been unreachable. I want to grow with you." he said and she gave him a crooked smirk. "Well, you will be growing a lot more than I will but I want us to work. I don't want to throw away what we had. We were so in love, don't you remember?"

"Of course I do."

"This baby could be so good for us. Please give me a chance."

"Okay." she said and he smiled at her.

"Can I...hug you or...kiss you? Something?"

"Yes, please" He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hair.

"It feels good to hold you"

"It feels good to be held"

"You feel different. You're so..."

"Fat"

"Not at all. Let me see you." he said and she took a step back to let him look at her. She felt uncomfortable as his eyes toured her body. They hadn't been together for almost two months in any way at all. He took her robe off and lay it down on the bed. He touched her shoulders, looking into her eyes, at her skin and continued downward. She was fuller overall, but definitely not fat. Her breasts were larger and heavy, straining the fabric of her thin strapped top slightly. Her pajama bottoms seemed tighter through the hips and bottom. He liked what he saw but tears began to fall down her cheeks, feeling judged. "Hey, don't cry." he said, wiping her tears.

"I don't want you to think I'm ugly!" she wept.

"I don't. My god, you could never be ugly."

"I'm gaining weight and I know you don't like it, you've made comments about it. You always wanted me to try to stay thin and I really have tried. Despite everything, I wanted you to be proud of me, even if I said I didn't care."

"I am proud of you. We're going to have a baby, Steph. That's amazing! Do you see how happy that makes me?"

She shook her head. "We have all but cut each other out completely. We fought for years..."

"Well, that's going to change." he told her. "What's under here?" He played with the hem of her top. "Can I see?"

She nodded, holding her breath, closing her eyes. Be kind, she begged in her mind.

"Oh my gosh, look at you! There is baby in there!" She could hear the joy in his voice and she opened her eyes again, exhaling in a sigh of relief. His face was one of wonder. He looked to her to make sure it was okay to touch her and he did so carefully. The little mound between her hips was firm, perfectly round. He could see it as she turned to the side slightly, grabbing her robe. "Don't cover up" he said, "Don't hide from me." He knelt down in front of her and lifted her camisole. She held it up for him, clasping her hands over the sensual fabric. "Hey there" he said softly and she smiled. "I don't think you can hear me yet but maybe in time you will. I love you and your mommy so much. You seem to be growing big and strong in there and I'm so happy to know you're coming. I think secretly your mama and I both wanted to have children, even now. I don't know if it was because of work or because we thought we couldn't, that we didn't have a baby before you. You see, we tried the year we got married. We tried for months and nothing happened. We were so sad, little one, but now we have you. Your mommy is taking such good care of you and I promise I will take care of her." He kissed her skin softly and Stevie reached a hand down, running her fingertips through his curly hair. He rose up to his full height and she pulled her top back down. He rubbed her belly through the material.

"Thank you" she said, placing her hand over his.

"Thank you" he repeats. The moment ended much too abruptly and he struggled to find something to say. "Sleep well, Steph. Good night."

His entire demeanor changed and it confused her. She thought the knowledge of their baby would mark definite progress between them. "Good night" she said, watching him leave her room.

She went to her door and locked it, turning the light off. She discarded her robe and crawled under her covers. She snuggled down, her head settling on her pillow and began to cry once more. She rubbed her small bump, missing the way his hands had felt on her skin. "I love you" she told the baby, drifting off to sleep.

Lindsey stood outside her door. He heard the tears, the whimpers and gasps. He so desperately wanted to turn around and walk back in there but he too was scared, he still had so many secrets. How could he begin to fix anything when he wasn't sure if she could ever forgive him for all he had done to her?