"We are products of our past but we don't have to be prisoners of it." -Rick Warren

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"Imagine yourself in five years... you're twenty-three years old, you've had four years of college finished. What are you doing? Are you working? What's your job? Do you love it? Do you hate it? Are you with somebody? Are you happy?"

I could've made something up easily had it been asked during class while I was with thirty other students instead of inside the guidance office where I was alone and face to face with possibly the nicest person in the entire school.

I cannot disappoint her because I've been meeting with her twice a week for the the past two years and now that I'm in my senior year and I'm just meeting her once a month, I wanted to not do something that could make this hell last longer. I wanted it over with and just forget this whole counseling thing ever happened.

But then she asks a question that had something to do with the future, that required me to think about how I'll turn out to be in a few month's time... or years.

She knew I couldn't do it, that's why she's asking me this stuff. She knew I couldn't let myself think that far ahead and that's exactly why she's making me do it

"Hannah, I know it's hard to imagine yourself in the future. I'm not saying how you imagine yourself to be will be the way things will turn out. It probably won't. But it's good to have a plan, isn't it? It's good to have goals and a plan to follow. That's all I'm asking from you, a plan. I don't need it right now... I want you to take your time with this so I'm giving you until the week before graduation."

Because I literally do not know how to respond to that, I just kept my mouth shut... and voila, the session is over.

The only reason I'm tolerating the counselling is because I get to skip third period once a month. Of course I don't have a choice but it's good to know that the school is permitting me to legally not go to class. Of course talking to the guidance counselor and feeling like a complete waste isn't fun but whatever.

It 's not like I still needed the counselling. Two years ago maybe, but not now, i've moved on. I'm better.

I walked to my locker so I could put my stuff back in. The session lasted a little longer than I hoped because we discussed million of stuff in there and now the classes are over.

As I fixed my stuff, I could feel people watching me. They do that a lot. Maybe it's because they haven't fully accepted that I'm no longer the annoying, bratty little Ms. Popular that they used to gossip about (and they do still gossip about me I'm sure, just in a different way.) or maybe it's because they don't think I've changed one bit.

You know what? Whatever. I'm done with guessing what people thought of me. Isn'that the reason I got fucked over with in the first place?

"Hannah."

Shit. Oh great. Note the sarcasm.

I turned around in annoyance, knowing what's about to happen. I sighed upon seeing his face. God, I hate how I still - stop it, Hannah.

"Clint." I said, hoping he can hear how much I don't want to talk to him.

Ah Clint, my handsome little cheating ex-boyfriend. He's still as 'pretty' as ever, I'll give him that. But the days where I'd go crazy upon hearing him say my name or when he'd kiss me or when he'd hold my hand like he'll never let go... those days are waaaaay over.

Because I know it's all crap.

He started with a smile. Ever since we broke up, he'd been after me. After I let him go, he started chasing after me. Which is funny because he didn't give me that much attention when we were still together. I think he feels like I'm a challenge. And the day I say yes to him again, I wouldn't only give him permission to hurt me. I'd be giving him a permission to be a bigger jerk than he already is.

"There's a dance this saturday..." Of course I know there's a dance. There's always a dance at the start of the school year. And I won't be going.

"So?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"So do you want to go together?" He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Hmm.. let me think." I looked at him and sincerely thought about it. "Not even if I'd die for not going."

He rolled his eyes impatiently, "Damn it Hannah, I've changed. Why can't you give me another chance?"

Well at least he was telling the truth. He did change. The cute, sweet, funny and caring Clinton Maxwell I dated is long gone. Instead, what stared back at me is a jackass version of the one I knew.

"Oh, how so, are you going to ask permission now first before screwing my friends?"

"That was two years ago."

"I was two years ago, Clint. So if you want me to forget about you cheating on me with my friend then forget about me too."

"That's the point. I can't forget about you. I'm still inlove with you."

There's this thing with knowing someone so long that you know their tell. Like I know that my best friend Mitch smiles after lying or that my brother pinches his forearm when he's trying to cancel on me. With Clint, he'd have to look at you like you're special and you're the only one he sees... that's when you can tell he's faking it.

He's doing it right now too. I looked him straight in the eyes and saw it.

"Well then it sucks to be you." I reply, looking sincerely annoyed.

I closed my locker and left him there. I kinda felt badass. For the past two years, no matter how tempting it was to just get back with him, to get fooled yet again.. I've had no lapses. And I am stronger. Although, not smarter.

Sometimes I still think about it. Maybe he did change, maybe even if he's acting like a playboy, the Clint I fell inlove with is still in there.

Stop thinking Hannah. Especially about Clint.

I went to the gym to catch my best friend, I knew for sure she'd be watching the basketbsll practice, even if he had no idea what the f is going on.

As I've guessed, Mitch was by the bleachers and for once she wasn't texting while pretending to watch her guy, she was actually watching the practice intently which is a miracle in itself because the girl is clueless with all the sports that the great homo sapiens sapiens species have invented.

"Hey Mitch." I greeted, sitting next to her while I frowned at how she's weirdly focused on the game and dropped my bag on my other side.

"Shh, I'm watching my guy play."

Um.. lie.

"Since when did you start watching his games? I mean, yeah you're punctual in all the games but you've never actually watched."

But she didn't seem to hear me because she suddenly stood up and cheered, surprising the hell outta me. "Good one Matt!" She screamed so loud I thought her lungs might fall out. What the fuck?

Now, Matt was as far away from where we're sitting and all that but I'd bet my life he's blushing so bad right now.

"Okaaay, what the hell Mitch? What's with this whole supportive girlfriend act you're tying to pull?" I asked trying to make sense of all this, Mitch being Mitch usually has reasons.

She smiled sheepishly at me. "Well... His parents found out about us.. well, no, he told them.. and you know how it is..."

"Sooo?" I asked, prompting her to go on.

"So I feel so damn guilty that I can't tell mine."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I actually did more than that, I jumped on the bleachers, laughing my ass off. This is just like something my best friend would do. The smartest girl in the entire school yet so dumb when it comes to her own love life.

"Matt!" I shouted, getting the whole team's attention - even the coach's. "You're gonna get laid tonight if you ask nice enough!" The boy in the number 11 jersey stood frozen as his teammates cheered and pushed him around.

I heard the coach grunt. "Good for you, kid. Now will you go back to my fucking game?"

I sat back down still laughing and saw Mitch turn red as tomato. "I hate you." She informed, which honestly just made me laugh even more.

I decided to not tease her more incase I already pushed my limit. "Look, Mitch. I don't think Matt minds that your parents doesn't know." I assured her because I know this to be true. "Your dad's scary as hell and he'd kill Matt if he finds out so I think he's pretty relieved if not overjoyed."

Michelle has weird parents, everythig they do and everything they have is business. Mitch is among those things. One day they're going to find a guy who owns a company as big as theirs with a hell of a lof of benefits and they're just gonna wed him with Mitch.

If I'm being honest though, Matt's exactly the guy. He's rich, he's going to be the successor of all his dad's works and he wants to marry Mitch Minus the benefits though because their families hate each other. It goes a long way back and I'm not interested in hearing it. Long story short, they've been in secret dating since middle school and I'm impressed they kept the secret for this long.

"I know my dad's scary but.. his parents were scary too. That didn't stop him." She said, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, Matt's dad is scary." I admitted. "But have you seen his mom? She got his dad wrapped around her little manipulative fingers, she probably told him to lay off on Matt or something." My guess is probably right, it usually is. "Your dad on the other hand.. well, he's uncontrollable so.. You're pretty hopeless, but I still don't think Matt minds."

She glared at me. "Gee, thanks Hannah! You're such a great friend, now I feel so enlightened. I should always ask you for advice because you're so good at giving it." She said sarcastically.

But knowing Mitch and her knowing me so well, I just grinned mockingly and decided to ride with her sarcasm, it usually pisses her of when I do. "You know it bestie!"

Between school works and my friends... there's not much elsecI have. Well, I do have my brother but I rarely see him since my parents died that sometimes... I feel like he died with them.