♡

THE ONE WITH A CHANCE.
EPISODE EIGHTEEN.

♡

Zara found herself uptown New York, a little lost and a little troubled. Of course, Zara knew where she was, but after a date gone wrong, and a few drinks, her mind was a dark place.

At the start of moving on, the sex had come as a distraction. But, after the numbness of desire, Zara always found herself staring at the ceiling, feeling even more lost than before. Now, Zara struggled to even see through to the ends of her dates.

Zara had been trying but now she was spiralling — again.

Still, though, she found herself at Joey's apartment as she rang the buzzer.

"Hello?" Joey questioned, sounding a little anxious.

"It's me," she told him. "Zara."

"Zara!" Joey perked up.

"Yeah... you gonna let me up or leave me out in the cold?"

"Oh, yeah. Come up."

The door opened as Zara headed up to his apartment, not remembering the last time the two had been alone together. Joey answered his front door, grinning brightly as he saw Zara.

"I didn't think you were coming tonight," Joey said as Zara walked into the apartment, placing her bag on his red sofa. "Monica said you had a date."

Zara's nose curled at the reminder as she sunk down on the sofa. Distracting herself, Zara tucked a loose strand of her shorter hair behind her ear, reaching into her bag to pull out the draft for Joey. "I didn't want you being last to get a copy."

"Is that for me?" Joey asked, sounding excited.

Zara laughed. "Yeah, it's yours, Joey."

Sitting down next to Zara, he took the printed copy of her book with a smile perhaps as wide as the pages. "I can't believe it," said Joey. "I kinda wanna kick you out and start reading it now."

Again, Zara found a laugh slipping from her lips. "I can go if you want me to."

"No, don't go," Joey said a little quickly. "Stay. I have beer and I can order a pizza."

"I've already had a few beers," said Zara. "But pizza sounds good."

"One more won't hurt, right?"

Zara smiled at that, not seeing any harm. As Joey ordered a pizza, he came back to the sofa with an opened beer for Zara and one for himself.

"So bad date, then?" Joey questioned.

"It could've been good but..."

"But?" Joey pressed.

Zara sighed, knowing it was an awkward conversation.

"I guess I don't want to fall into bad habits again."

"Like?"

"Sleeping with people just because they want me," Zara admitted, feeling herself become tense as a long time ago, Joey had been one of those hookups. "I went through a stage of it after Marnie, the woman that led me to you."

"Oh," Joey realised. "The one who made you cry."

Zara winced at that. "Yeah, that one."

"I'm confused," Joey decided. "Your date was bad because you wanted to sleep with them? That sounds like the best date to me!"

"I don't know if I want it anymore," Zara told him. "After Derek, I couldn't even bring myself to, and then..."

"Chandler," Joey guessed.

"I thought maybe he'd be a new habit," said Zara. "We were friends, but sleeping together, and it was good. God, we'd even decided to keep labels and feelings out of it. But... I don't know how he did it, he was there and suddenly everything I ever wanted," then Zara turned to him, eyes watery with tears. "I wasn't alone anymore, but it didn't matter. It never matters as I'm never enough for someone to choose me, or to even love me."

"Zara, that's crazy," Joey told her. "You're more than enough."

Zara shook her head. "Everyone either gets bored or they find some other reason to leave."

And with Chandler, Zara had been blind by her feelings to suddenly wake up, realising that he was just like everyone else. If Zara had not taken control, then she would have been left, and that would have destroyed her.

"Bored of you?" Joey moved closer to Zara, trying to comfort her. "How could anyone be bored of you? I never could be."

"I've spent the majority of our friendship disliking you," Zara reminded him.

"Maybe I liked that," Joey confessed. "Even when you hated me, I never wanted to leave."

Zara sniffled, wiping at the smudged mascara as she let out a small laugh.

"Hey, don't cry," Joey told her. "Maybe these bad dates are just a sign."

"A sign for what?" Zara questioned. "That I should give up?"

"No," said Joey. "That the next could be the one."

"I don't know..."

"But you will," Joey reassured her. "I have a Joey feeling about it."

Zara raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. "A Joey feeling?"

"Yeah," he seemed serious, nodding his head. "You'll see."

"If my next date is even worse than the last, then I will kill you, Joey," Zara told him.

"And I still wouldn't leave," Joey grinned at that. "I'd come back and haunt you like a ghost."

Shaking her head at him, Zara smiled, relieved that she had come over now.

♡

A few days later, the friends had gathered at their apartment to watch the latest episode of Days of Our Lives. Zara sat on the floor, picking at the bowl of chips on the coffee table as she watched.

"I'm sorry I'm late," said Ross, rushing in. "What happened?"

Monica hushed him. "We just want to see the end."

There was a dramatic scene of Drake and his latest romantic interest being forbidden. At the announcement of Drake being her half-brother, Zara couldn't help but gasp with the others, having never expected that.

"So what happens next?" Rachel demanded.

"Seriously," Zara insisted. "Tell us."

"Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins, then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramon. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big... but it's cursed."

They all laughed at that, not expecting it to be so ridiculous.

"That's so cool," said Rachel.

"God, that is good TV," Chandler said.

"You know what else is good," Phoebe grinned. "Zara's book, I finished it last night."

"So did I!" Rachel gasped. "Oh, the end... it made me cry. Did you really have to—"

"No, no," Ross cut in. "Don't finish that sentence."

Zara pressed her lips together, not saying anything.

"Come on, man," said Joey. "You're so slow."

"Have you even finished it?" Ross demanded.

"I'm about to tonight," Joey confessed, then his head whipped around to Rachel. "Am I really gonna cry?"

"It's not even that sad," Zara protested, but she was glowing at the thought of making anyone emotional with her writing. 

Chandler scoffed. "I don't think Ruby or her should-be adoptive parents would agree with that."

Ross' face dropped. "Ruby doesn't get adopted?"

"You better finish it before you're spoiled," Monica advised him.

♡

The next date Zara went on, wasn't the one, but her expectations had been low anyway. Hannah was sweet — a little too sickly sweet, but Zara didn't mind. After all, she would rather have someone who was nice.

Their date had been a couple of drinks in a bar together, and for the first time in a while, Zara felt like maybe she could take that next step again. Hannah was stunning in a hot pink dress and black hair that curled slightly.

So, when they reached Zara's place, she was a little giddy with a smile.

"Do you live alone?" Hannah asked.

"No," said Zara. "I have two roommates."

Hannah simply smiled, still holding onto Zara's hand as she leaned forward, becoming inches from Zara's lips. "Do you think they're in?"

"They will be," Zara told her quietly. "But they'll be in their rooms with their partners."

"Perfect," Hannah mumbled.

Then, she was kissing Zara, hands slipping to her waist with a sudden eagerness that Zara liked. For someone who had started the evening so shy, Hannah had certainly found a flare of confidence.

Zara fumbled for the doorknob and the two backed into the apartment with Hannah giggling. However, the laughter died as her eyes fell on something behind Zara. Turning, Zara spotted Richard and Ross standing outside their partner's bedrooms.

"Zara," said Ross, nodding his head. "I see your date went well."

A little lost for words, Zara's eyes fell on Richard, who was in his boxers.

"Where's Monica and Rachel?" Zara questioned.

"In the bathroom," Richard explained. "Deciding something."

"Deciding what...?"

Neither boyfriend knew as Zara guided her date through the mess, showing her the bedroom as Hannah had returned to being shy again. Zara promised to be back before she was knocking on the bathroom.

"One second!" Monica shouted.

"It's me," Zara told them. "I'm coming in."

"No, no, no!" Rachel panicked. "What if Zara wants it?"

Not taking no for answer, Zara pushed the door handle down as she entered the bathroom. The two moaned, moving out of the way for Zara to come in, where she found the two standing together with Monica holding a condom.

"Uh...what are you doing?" Zara questioned.

"There's only one condom," Monica explained.

Zara laughed. "Oh, that sucks."

"Don't do that," Monica told her.

"Do what?" Zara asked.

"Smirk like that," said Monica.

"Oh, did you bring her home?" Rachel questioned, eyes wide. "Is she cute?"

"You know she's hot, Rach," said Zara. "You were there when I met her."

"Yeah, she's hot," Rachel remembered.

"Exactly," Zara felt her smugness become warmer. "So, I'm gonna go have sex and leave the two of you to it."

Both Rachel and Monica pulled a face, a little jealous. Though, as Zara left the bathroom, both men were eagerly watching, where they still waited. 

"Good luck," Zara told them.

"What does that mean?" Ross questioned.

"You'll see," Zara said.

A little amused, Zara returned to her bedroom, where she found Hannah sitting on her bed, a little awkwardly. However, for the two, the moment was not hindered.

♡

The next morning, Zara was a little eager to get Hannah out without anyone knowing. Though, with everyone up and eating breakfast the next morning, Zara found it impossible, especially when everyone was cheery to meet and say goodbye to Zara.

"So, a second date?" Monica questioned.

"I don't know," Zara admitted, sitting down at the table as she stole Ross' toast, earning a frown. "A little awkward for me."

"Uh, you do realise your ex is Chandler, right?" Ross questioned.

"Thanks for the reminder," Zara mumbled. "But he was a different kind of awkward. I like Hannah, but I don't know."

"She seemed to like you," Rachel said.

"Yeah," Zara agreed. "I guess I'll see how it goes."

They had a few interests but were very different still. While Zara kept her past very secretive, Hannah was a little too excited to talk about her childhood and family (which Zara didn't mind, but it was a lot). However, they both enjoyed socialising more than staying in, as well as an interest in writing — though, Hannah was a fashion blogger.

Maybe it would work out, but Zara wasn't sure if she wanted it to.

"You're just gonna sleep with her, aren't you?" Monica realised.

"Maybe," Zara shrugged. "I don't want another relationship, so if she's up for something casual, then why not?"

That way Zara was safe but still had someone at arm's length to selfishly use. For Hannah, it would be the same too, where she was still getting over her ex.

It was a lingering question for Zara that day. Maybe Joey had been somewhat right: Hannah was not the one, but maybe she was the one to help Zara finally get over Chandler.

However, even if Zara considered a second date, she wouldn't be so quick to call Hannah. There was no way Zara would come across as desperate, she would keep it chill and act like she wasn't too bothered.

Fortunately that night the friends had all gathered to watch Joey's latest episode.

"So, when I woke up this morning," Chandler told them about his crazy roommate. "He'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes."

"Why?" Monica questioned.

"Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish," Chandler explained.

"Why would you kill his fish?" Phoebe asked.

Chandler looked over at Pheobe. "Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone, you have to kill a fish."

"Chandler, honey, I'm sorry," Rachel told him, keeping a comforting hand on his arm before she let go, easily moving on. "Okay, can we watch Joey's show now, please?"

"Yeah," Ross agreed.

"Wait, he's not even here yet," Monica pointed out.

"Yeah, that's not like Joey," Zara commented, concerned.

"So?" Rachel questioned. "He's on the show. He knows what happens."

"Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way," Chandler told them.

"Do you want me to talk to Eddie?" Zara offered.

Chandler considered that. "Actually... Eddie's terrified of you, so I might have to take you up on that."

Zara laughed at that. "I haven't even spoken to him."

"Apparently you glared at him," Chandler said.

"I don't remember that," Zara confessed.

"Hush," Rachel said. "It's starting."

On the screen, Joey was talking to his recently discovered step-sister along with another doctor, who lingered close by. There seemed to be an awkwardness to the scene as Zara watched, witnessing Drake seem a little hesitant to get in the elevator.

Then, with the elevator doors open to reveal no elevator, Drake was falling. His scream echoed off camera with the six staring in shock.

"Did they just kill off Joey?" Monica questioned.

"No," Ross denied, not believing it.

There was a loud thud as Drake hit the ground.

"Now maybe," said Ross.

"Oh my God," whispered Zara.

With the show over, the friends hurried to Joey's place, realising why he hadn't come over to watch the episode with them. They knocked on the door, calling out for Joey to open up.

"Come on!" Ross shouted. "Open up! We want to talk to you!"

"I don't feel like talking," Joey cried out to them.

"Oh, come on, Joey," said Rachel. "We care about you."

"We're worried about you," Chandler told him.

"And we're not leaving," Zara added.

"And some of us really have to pee," Monica announced.

The front door finally opened with Monica the first to hurry into the apartment. Everyone else filed in, spotting Joey in his dressing gown as Zara hated to see how upset he was.

"Listen," said Phoebe as they followed behind Joey. "Sorry about your death. That really sucks."

The three women sunk down on the sofa next to Joey with Chandler and Ross lingering close by.

"We came over as soon as we saw," Chandler told him.

"How could you not tell us?" Ross questioned.

"I don't know," Joey told them. "I was...kind of hoping no one would ever find out."

"Well, maybe they could find a way to bring you back," Rachel suggested.

"Nah," said Joey. "They said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor who could have saved me was me. That's supposed to be some kind of irony or something."

"But, Joey, you're going to be fine," Phoebe reassured him. "You don't need that show. It was just a dumb soap opera."

"Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me," Joey told her.

"Yes," said Phoebe. "I was going to incorporate that. Oh, good. Here's Monica. She'll have something nice to say."

"Um, I straightened out your shower curtain," Monica announced as they all looked at her in disbelief. "What? To me, that's nice."

"It's going to be okay," Chandler took over. "You know that."

"Yeah, Chandler's right," Zara told him with a smile, placing her hand on Joey's arm. "Your next big opportunity will come along."

"But this was it," said Joey as Monica kneeled down ready to comfort him. "It's like, you know, you work your whole life for something and you think that when you get it it's never going to be as good as you thought it would be but this so was. You know, it changed everything. Like, the other day I got this credit card application and I was pre-approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life."

"I'm sorry, man," Chandler said.

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed.

"Joey, honey, if this will mean anything to you, but you'll always be pre-approved with us," Rachel told him.

"No, that means nothing to me," Joey decided.

"Okay, how about this," Zara told him with a smile. "I have a Zara feeling that the next job will be the one, and if it's not, then you can kill me and I'll come back as a ghost."

"What?" Everyone else questioned.

Joey smiled at that. "So I was right about my Joey feeling?"

"In a way," Zara confessed. "So, it'll work for you too."

Even if it was just words, it still cheered Joey up a little.

♡

EPISODE NINETEEN.

♡

Zara sat in Central Perk with Monica and Rachel while drinking her coffee. Behind them, Joey had entered wearing a brown newsboy hat with Zara's greeting falling from her lips as she burst out laughing.

"Well, look at you," said Rachel. "Finally got that time machine working, huh?"

"Seriously, you like it?" Joey smiled. "This guy was selling them on eighth avenue and I looked at them and I thought: you know what I don't have?"

"A mirror?" Monica said.

"A brain?" Zara guessed.

"Fine, make fun," said Joey, sitting down at the small table. "I think it's jaunty."

"Oh, that's a big word," Zara teased him.

"Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood," Monica told him.

"Hey, I'll be all right," Joey decided with Zara relieved to see that he was a lot more optimistic about his character's death. "I mean, it's not like I'm starting from square one. I was Doctor Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives. I mean, that's got to have some kind of cache."

"Cache? Jaunty?" Monica questioned.

"Chandler gave me word-of-the-day toilet paper," Joey told them.

"Oh," Zara said. "For a second there, I thought you actually had a brain."

Joey frowned at her as Zara grinned, finding it easy to wind Joey up. However, Zara knew Joey was a lot smarter than people gave him credit for.

"I'm going to get some coffee," Joey decided, standing up again.

"Hey," Phoebe came into the coffee house to greet them as they welcomed her. "Oh! So, so, so, did you read the book?"

"Oh my God, it was incredible," Monica replied.

"Truly," Zara agreed. "I needed to read it."

"Didn't it like totally speak to you?" Phoebe questioned, sitting on the arm of the sofa, staring at the three with wide eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rachel cut in, feeling left out. "What book is this?"

"Rachel, you have to read this book," Monica told her. "It's called Be Your Own Wind-Keeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered."

"Yeah, and, oh!" Phoebe was quick to add. "And but there's wind...and the wind can make us goddesses. But do you know who takes our wind? Men. They just take it."

Monica and Phoebe both clicked their fingers, deciding it was as quick and dramatic as that.

"Woman too," Zara added. "Trust me, you'd think it'll be different, but nope. It's always the same for me."

"Even with Hannah?" Monica questioned.

"Not Hannah," Zara decided. "Because I've put a pin in anything happening between us other than just sex — and I will keep it that way this time."

"The... they just take our wind?" Rachel sounded confused.

"Yuh-huh," Phoebe replied. "All the time. 'Cause they are the lightning bearers."

"Wow," said Rachel. "Well, that sounds kind of cool. It's kind of like The Hobbit."

"It is nothing like The Hobbit," Monica told her. "God, it's like reading about every relationship I've ever had... except for Richard."

"No, Richard would never steal your wind," Phoebe said.

"No," Monica agreed.

"'Cause he's yummy," Phoebe decided.

"Yes," Monica was beaming.

"Oh, he really wouldn't," Zara realised too. "But Derek... he stole my wind more than he told me that he loved me."

Monica's nose screwed up. "Yeah, Derek stole your wind."

"And used it against me," Zara added.

"Oh, and the part how they're always drinking from our pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip," Phoebe continued.

That was so Derek that it made Zara laugh, more furious with herself for falling into a serious relationship with someone like that.

"Anybody want a cruller?" Joey offered.

"Okay," said Phoebe, pointing at Joey. "This is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um... 'hello, who wants one of my phallic-shaped man cakes?'"

All eyes fell on Joey, who was looking at his cruller, clueless and surprised by their conversation. However, they had managed to persuade Rachel into reading the book, who was more than happy to talk about it with them a few days later.

"Oh...God," Rachel said, closing the book from where they sat in the coffee house again. "Oh, God! I mean, it's just so..."

"Isn't it?" Monica agreed.

"I mean, this is like reading about my own life," Rachel decided. "I mean, this book could have been called Be Your Own Wind-Keeper, Rachel."

"Yeah, I don't think it would have sold a million copies," said Phoebe. "But it would have made a nice gift for you."

"Hey, you guys," Ross greeted them.

"Hey," they echoed back.

"Uh, sweetie, we've got to go," Ross told his girlfriend.

"No!" Rachel decided.

"No?" Ross repeated.

"No," said Rachel again. "Why do we always have to do everything according to your timetable?"

"Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable," Ross told her. "It's so you don't miss the beginning."

"No," Rachel said as she stood up. "See, this isn't about the movie theater. This is about you stealing my wind."

"Go on, Rach," Zara responded. "Claim your wind."

"You go, girl!" Monica encouraged.

Ross turned, eyeing the two, but his attention was focused on his sister.

"I can't pull that off, can I?" Monica realised.

"I wouldn't do it again," Zara advised.

"Excuse me," said Ross, clearly confused. "Your... your — your wind?"

"Yes," Rachel clarified. "My wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?"

Ross was a little speechless at that. "You know I—I don't have a... Have a, a problem... with that."

Rachel took a moment to realise where Ross' mind had gone.

"Okay," said Rachel. "I just... I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry."

Phoebe made a noise, urging Rachel to realise her mistake.

"Uh, you're right," Rachel corrected. "I don't have to apologise." Then, she leant around Ross to look at Phoebe. "Sorry. Damn it!"

Zara grinned, proud of Rachel. Already, she had cancelled her plans with Hannah that night, deciding to spend it focusing on herself (though, Zara was still tempted to give in).

♡

That night, Zara could not sleep, feeling like maybe she did deserve to see Hannah. Though Zara had already said no, stopping by would only result in losing her wind.

Instead, Zara went to get a glass of water. Her eyebrows knitted together, noticing that Chandler was sleeping on the sofa. Confused, Zara stepped closer to him, where Chandler had then jolted in his sleep, opening his eyes with a cry as he spotted Zara.

"Why must everybody watch me sleep?" Chandler demanded, pointing his finger at Zara. "They'll be no more watching me sleep. No more... watching!"

"I wasn't—"

"No!"

"Chandler," Zara snapped quietly, frustrated. "I wasn't watching you. I was just wondering why you were asleep on our sofa."

"Yeah, well, Eddie won't leave," muttered Chandler. "And apparently has a thing about watching me sleep."

"That's it," Zara decided. "I'm gonna go talk to him."

"No!" Chandler quickly protested. "Please, don't. I can figure it out."

"Sleeping on our sofa isn't figuring it out," Zara reminded him.

"Sorry," said Chandler. "I should have checked if I could."

"You know you're welcome to, just, you know, you should be in your bed," Zara told him.

Chandler shrugged at that. "Why are you up anyway?"

"Can't sleep," Zara confessed.

"Well, I'm now up too," Chandler decided. "So, you might as well sit down."

Zara wrapped her arms around her body, suddenly feeling a little exposed with the two alone so late at night. While Zara was in just a long top, she also noticed that Chandler was wearing a top with most likely his underwear too.

It was risky — too risky. Zara should go back to the safety of her bedroom, but Chandler was here, and she couldn't bring herself to leave.

"Move up then," Zara told him.

Chandler shuffled as Zara sat down on the other end of the sofa from him, being careful not to slip under the blanket with him. They were silent with neither being alone like this together for months now.

"I, uh, heard you're seeing someone," said Chandler. "Heather, is it?"

"That's what you want to talk about?" Zara questioned.

"No, not really," Chandler decided.

The two averted gazes with it slipping into awkwardness.

"Maybe I should just go," Zara suggested.

"No, wait—"

Zara's head turned, finally meeting his stare again. "What?"

"I miss you," Chandler told her as Zara froze, having feared that something vulnerable like this would come up in the dark. "Don't freak, I just mean... I miss how close we used to be, like, you know, friends."

Did that mean Chandler was over her?

"I miss you too," Zara smiled softly. "We're still friends, Bing."

Chandler's expression warmed up. "I still hate it when you call me that."

"I know," said Zara. "But I still love it."

"Friends, then?" Chandler questioned.

"Always," Zara promised, holding up her pinky. "I pinky promise."

Chandler reached over, hooking his pinky with her own. Feeling his touch, Zara felt the spark in her heart reignite.

"As your friend," Chandler said with Zara rolling her eyes, having known this would be going somewhere. "I wanna know when you plan on getting your book published."

"I don't know," Zara admitted, not wanting to confess that she was afraid. "What if it doesn't work out?"

"What if it does?" Chandler questioned.

"It's a risk," said Zara, believing that she would just end up rejected and upset.

"You should take the chance," Chandler told her. "I don't regret taking the risk with us."

Hearing that, Zara felt like her heart was in her throat as her head turned to meet Chandler's stare. The two had sat closer together after their pinky promise, where Zara now realised that their little fingers were still hooked together, lingering on that one touch. They were so close; irises locked and breaths warm, the moment becoming searing.

All Zara had to do was lean a little closer.

The thought alone caused her to stop breathing.

But Monica's bedroom door opened with the two springing apart.

♡

Zara was relieved when Chandler was gone the next morning. While she was happy to know that they were still friends, they were still very much on the edge of crossing that line. Neither had moved on from the other, but they were trying.

Though, Monica kept starring at Zara throughout the day, even when Phoebe came over to be with them. They were doing the questionnaire that came with the book, where Zara prayed that Monica would not use it to bring up Chandler.

"Okay, question number twenty-eight," said Phoebe. "Have you ever allowed a lightning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no."

Zara frowned, wanting to say the same.

"And I would have to say pa-ha!" Monica replied.

"What?" Phoebe questioned.

"Do you not remember the puppet guy?"

"Yeah," Rachel agreed. "You like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power."

Phoebe's mouth opened at that.

"Pheebs, you really did," Zara said.

"And his puppet too!" Monica insisted.

"Yeah, okay, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Who?" Monica demanded.

"Paul!"

"Oh!"

"What is wrong with that?" Zara replied. "Is it not empowering? That's claiming wind to me."

"Every first date?" Monica questioned.

"Well... it depends," Zara admitted.

"Okay, okay, okay," Rachel cut in. "Moving on, moving on. Next question."

Zara fell silent at that as Rachel took the book. "Okay, number twenty-nine. Have you ever betrayed another goddess...for a lightning bearer? Okay, number thirty!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Monica stopped Rachel. "Let's go back to twenty-nine."

"Not, uh..." Rachel cleared her throat. "Not to my recollection."

There was a gasp at that.

"All right, Danny Arshack, ninth grade," said Monica. "Oh, come on, Rach. You know the bottle was totally pointing at me."

"Only 'cause you took up half the circle."

Monica now gasped this time.

"Listen to you two," Phoebe said. "It's so sad. Oh! Well, looks like I'm going to be going to the goddess meetings alone."

"What about me?" Zara questioned.

"Yeah, well, not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica."

"Phoebe!" Zara's mouth fell open in shock.

"One hour!" Monica cried out, standing.

"You are such a leaf blower!" Phoebe accused Rachel.

Zara laughed but Monica and Rachel had both stormed to their bedrooms and slammed their doors. Even Phoebe was angry but had nowhere to go. Instead, she found a box as she closed the lid aggressively.

♡

At the coffee house, the four were sulking over their ridiculous arguments because of the book and the questionnaire. They were silent: Phoebe focusing on her tea; Rachel was working; Monica was glowering; Zara tried pencilling some edits on her paper draft.

"Here are your cakes," Rachel said bringing three plates over as she placed them on the coffee table.

"We didn't order cake," Monica announced.

"No, I know," said Rachel, folding her arms across her chest. "They're from me. Look, you guys, this is not good. We have enough trouble with guys — or ladies — stealing our wind without taking it from each other."

"You're right," Monica agreed.

"Yeah," said Zara.

"I love you, goddesses," Phoebe said.

The three were quick to stand as they hugged with Zara a little apprehensive. But, the three turned, shooting Zara a look as she sighed, deciding to stand as they pulled her into the group hug. Even with the affection, Zara found a smile.

"I don't ever want to suck your wind again," Phoebe said.

"Oh, thank you."

That came with another hug.

"So, are we good?" Rachel asked.

"We're good," Monica reassured.

"Always good," Zara decided.

"Okay," said Rachel, pulling away. "Let me take these cakes back 'cause they're going to take that out of my paycheck."

"You," Monica suddenly decided, clutching onto Zara's hand. "And I need to talk."

"Oh, that sounds serious," Phoebe noticed.

Zara frowned, avoiding Monica's stare. "About what."

"You and Chandler," Monica insisted.

There was silence with Zara sighing, sitting down with both Phoebe and Monica following to sit on either side of her. Of course, Zara had known it was coming, but she had hoped that Monica would have ignored it.

"If I hadn't come out, the two of you would have kissed," Monica whispered.

Phoebe gasped. "Are you getting back together? I knew it!"

"No," Zara made it clear. "It was... just a moment of relapse."

"Or was it a sign that there's still something there?" Monica questioned lightly.

"If there is, it doesn't matter," Zara insisted. "Chandler and I are better off being just friends."

"Chandler's coming," Phoebe whispered.

Those words were a relief as Monica looked about ready to argue with Zara, but she had already made up her mind. One way or another, Zara would stay in control, and not fall into the trap again — moving on was for the best.

But, even Zara knew she was lying to herself. To save herself from pain, she was simply forcing herself to experience a different kind of pain. In the end, though, it would be for the best.

"Ding-dong, the psycho's gone," Chandler announced on his arrival, oblivious to their conversation. "And I don't mean you, Zara."

Even Zara laughed at that, but it came with the thorns of heartbreak.

"Are you sure this time?" Monica questioned.

"Yes," Chandler replied. "Yes, I actually saw him leave. I mean, that guy is standing in the window holding a human head."

Quickly turning, Zara's eyes were wide as she found Eddie.

"He is standing in the window holding a human head!" Chandler repeated.

"Hey, check it out, man," said Eddie, coming into the coffee house. "I tore it off some mannequin in the alley behind Macy's."

"There is no alley behind Macy's," Monica pointed out.

"So I got it in the junior miss department," Eddie corrected. "Big dif. Check it out, man. It's going to make a hell of a conversation piece at our next cocktail party, huh?"

"Sorry, when was the first party?" Zara questioned.

"Oh, no ex's allowed," Eddie started to cackle a laugh, looking from Zara to Chandler. "Am I right? Am I right?"

"Our next cocktail party?" Chandler repeated, still stuck on that.

"Yeah, you know," said Eddie, turning the mannequin's head upside down. "Put chips in it. We'll make it like a chip chick."

Chandler looked about ready to explode, but he tried to keep his cool. "Eddie, do you remember yesterday?"

"Uh, yes," Eddie answered. "I think I vaguely recall."

As he looked at them, Chandler's fingers started to wave as if to tell them how crazy Eddie was. But, as Eddie turned back to him, Chandler cleared his throat. "Do you remember talking to me yesterday?"

"Uh, yes."

Again, he looked at them with a laugh as Chandler's hand movements became bolder. Zara simply raised her eyebrows, wondering if she should step in, but even she was startled by Eddie.

"So what happened?" Chandler asked.

"We took a road trip to Las Vegas, man," Eddie told him.

"Oh, sweet moses."

"So, on this road trip," said Monica. "Did you guys win any money?"

"Nah, I crapped out," Eddie confessed as Chandler looked as if he was the one going mad now. "But, Mr twenty-one over here, he cleans up! Three-hundred bucks! He buys me these new shoes."

Eddie placed his foot on the table, eager to show them.

"Sweet, huh?"

"Oh," said Zara, trying to sound impressed. "So shiny."

"Nice," Monica agreed.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed while Chandler had wide eyes that vanished as Eddie turned to face him again, completely oblivious. "See you upstairs. See you, pals." Then his eyes landed on Zara, becoming a little fearful as he nodded his head. "Zara."

"Are you sure I just glared at him?" Zara questioned after he left.

Chandler shrugged. "I might have told him that you didn't like him in the hope it might make him leave."

"Is anyone else starting to really like him?" Phoebe questioned.

"Chandler," Zara met his stare again, eyebrows raising. "Are you sure you don't want me to talk to him?"

"Oh, no," said Chandler with a smile. "I have a plan."

Whatever it was, Zara would have to wait to find out as her name was called out. Turning, Zara spotted Hannah as she found a smile on her face.

If Chandler had a plan, then so did Zara.

"Hannah, hey," said Zara.

"Hey," Hannah replied, a little shyly.

Standing, Zara greeted her date for the night with a sweet kiss that lingered for a moment. Of course, Zara was very aware of what was happening, and she knew that she was now using Hannah for more than just sex.

But, still, Zara forced herself to ruin whatever was left of her and Chandler. Taking Hannah's hand, she turned to face her friends.

"Guys, this is Hannah," Zara introduced, not looking at anyone; if she met Chandler's stare, then she would break — or even Monica, who would see straight through the lies. "Hannah this is Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and...Chandler."

Though, Hannah was oblivious to who Chandler was (and it would stay that way).

"Hi!" Monica was first to stand, smiling brightly. "It's wonderful to finally meet you."

With that, everyone else joined in as there was a chorus of greetings that broke the awkwardness. Chandler had murmured a polite greeting with a forced smile, but Zara couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Well, we're gonna go," Zara decided.

"I'm taking Zara out for dinner," Hannah announced.

"How sweet," Phoebe said.

"Will we see you later?" Monica asked.

Hannah giggled. "Maybe, we'll see what happens."

Finding it too much, Zara was quick to usher her date out of the coffee house before the tense atmosphere went noticed. Already from Monica's stare, she knew her friend had figured out what Zara was doing, but she wouldn't say anything.

However, for Chandler, he watched after Zara in devastation.

"I thought it wasn't anything," Chandler said.

"Honey, that's what we thought too," Rachel admitted, placing a supportive hand on his arm. "But I guess there could be something there now. Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Chandler admitted. "I guess I thought there might have been a chance of... I don't know, maybe us getting back together."

"Is that what you want?" Monica asked.

"Yes, no," said Chandler with a sigh. "I don't know. Maybe. Is that crazy?"

"Not crazy," said Monica. "Normal."

"Nothing about this feels normal," Chandler decided, sitting down on the sofa with his head in his hands. "It's just more reason not to do this. Why did I do this? I don't do this. Why can't I get over her?"

"Because you love her," Phoebe said, smiling sadly.

Chandler couldn't say those words. "I wish I didn't."

"Don't say that," said Phoebe. "I still believe it'll work out for you guys."

But, whatever chance had been there, Zara was blowing it for them.

♡

Chandler and Zara could very easily get back together if they just talked but they both need to grow for that kind of relationship. The little hints of Zara and Joey are starting to get to me now! I'm so into writing this story right now as I just want to get to the drama of season 3/4!