THE ONE WHERE ZARA DUMPS DEREK.
EPISODE FIVE.
[trigger warning: themes of abuse]

♡

Zara was truly devastated as she had no choice but to quit her job because her writing career had suddenly blossomed. Of course, she had always known that it was always a possability, but it had been a lot sooner than Zara had been ready for.

"Hey," said Chandler, hand reaching out to nudge her slightly. "You know, this doesn't mean the end, you can always return to teaching in the future."

"I know," Zara said. "I just wasn't prepared to let it go like this."

"You finished the school year," Monica pointed out.

"Yeah, that makes it easier," Zara realised.

Zara had planned the new year, though. They had all started back without Zara and it didn't feel right. But, it wasn't just the job, it was Zara's classroom with the memories she had made and the staff too. Seeing her reaction still, Monica put an arm around her friend as she offered her a sideways hug. Zara smiled sadly, resting her head on Monica's shoulder.

"Does this mean no more flowers or bright colours?" Chandler questioned.

"Oh," Rachel said from the side table she was at. "I liked the different scrunchies you had every day."

"I liked the dinosaur one," Ross admitted.

"I don't know," said Zara. "That's not really me."

Though Zara would miss the way she dressed for work, she wouldn't ever be caught in flowers outside of her classroom.

"It's still you," Chandler reassured her, still sitting on the edge of the sofa arm next to Zara. "Just like you not teaching is still you. This is good, Zara, you've made it, so now you gotta enjoy it. Once you've finished your series, you could still go back."

"Chandler's right," Monica told her as Gunther came over to speak to Rachel. "This isn't forever."

Zara knew that, plus she was living her dream at the moment, so she shouldn't be feeling so down over her job. This was good. Even though it came with a little heartbreak to give up her classroom, Zara already felt the relief of having that time to focus on her book series. Then, when the time came for the sequel being published, she had the full time to invest in a tour.

"Oh, she's pretty," Chandler suddenly said as Zara looked up at him, seeing his eyes on someone different at the counter. "Pretty, uh, pretty girl. The pretty. She's pretty."

Turning, Zara's eyes briefly fell on a red-head girl before she faced the front again, trying not to act so bitter about Chandler finding someone else attractive. Of course, she was still with Derek, so Chandler was free to do whatever he wanted.

"Well, just go up to her and ask her out," Monica suggested as Chandler scoffed. "What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"I could die," Chandler announced.

"Yeah, it's... it's tough being single," Ross said. "That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda."

Zara wanted to point out that it was tough being in a relationship, but she kept silent. At least this was distracting her from the fact she had quit her job.

"Ross, you guys went out once," Rachel told him. "You took your kids to Chuck E. Cheese and you didn't even kiss her."

Ross' head was quick to dart around to Chandler.

"I tell people secrets," Chandler confessed. "It makes them like me."

Zara found a hint of a smile at that, knowing it didn't take secrets for people to like Chandler. Even though he was awkward, Chandler was likeable for numerous reasons.

Phoebe came into the coffee house then as Chandler was the one to greet her, but their friend had a tissue to her nose as she sneezed.

"Oh, Phoebe," Monica sympathised. "You're sick. You shouldn't play. You should go home and get in bed and stay there."

"But I'm unemployed," Phoebe reminded them. "My music is all I really have now. Well, music and making my own shoes."

"Oh, they're so cool," said Zara, spotting the shoes that were covered in pompoms and candy. "The kids in my class would love them."

Chandler's hand fell on her shoulder in comfort, which seemed more of an awkward gesture that was unexpected. Realising that, Chandler's hand vanished, and he forced himself to stand.

"All right," said Chandler, forcing himself to look at the pretty girl at the counter. "I'm going to do it. I'm going to go get shot down. A-any advice."

Don't do it, Zara thought.

"Just be yourself," Monica advised. "But not too much."

It didn't feel right as Zara watched Chandler walk over to the counter, where he stopped to lean close to Ross. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck," said Ross, loudly.

"Wish it," Chandler snapped at Ross.

Looking away from Chandler, Zara folded her arms across her chest as she scowled, trying to block out what was happening behind her. A part of Zara wanted to be selfish and ruin Chandler's chances, but another part of her wanted him to be happy as he didn't deserve how Zara was treating him.

Neither did Joey, so Zara couldn't make them wait forever until she made a decision.

"Are you okay?" Monica asked her.

"Oh, I'm great," Zara forced herself to say. "Did you have to advise him to go talk to her?"

"What did you want me to say?" Monica replied. "Don't talk to the pretty girl, Chandler. You should be with Zara. You're with Derek."

"Well, not exactly that," Zara whispered. "And I know."

"You don't sound so happy about that either," Monica whispered, noticing Zara's reaction at the mention of her boyfriend.

Zara shrugged, unknowing what she was supposed to say about him. Seeing that, Monica offered her a pitful look, which Zara tried to ignore.

But, Chandler had ruined whatever chances he had as he came back over sulking. While Zara felt for him, she was a little relieved too. Joey came in then to join them just as Phoebe was about to start singing.

With Joey there, Zara couldn't bring herself to look at him. His declaration of feelings from the other week was still on her mind, but neither had spoken about it since.

"Before I start," said Phoebe, sitting on her stool with the guitar in her lap. "I just want to say that I have a cold. So if I sneeze in the middle of a song it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People."

Zara leant forward as she was more curious about Phoebe's set now. As Phoebe cleared her throat, she started to sing, but her voice was a lot deeper than usual.

"This chick sounds good," Phoebe commented before continuing until Gunther came over in his orange shirt. "Hey, Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey."

Zara and Monica shared smiles, where Phoebe helped cheer Zara up.

♡

The following night, Zara was overdressed for the coffee shop with an off-the-shoulder long black dress and matching stiletto heels. As she came in, there was a series of compliments from her friends.

"Woo-hoo look at you," Phoebe commented, where her voice was still raspy.

Even Toby was with them, finding a place within the group as he was sat with Ross. Though, as she looked over, Chandler and Joey were silent, staring at Zara with their mouths wide open, practically gaping over her.

While Zara wasn't one to be shy, she looked away from them, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Things had taken an awkward turn between the three; they were still friends, but there were those lingering feelings that had become a waiting game.

At the moment, Zara was completely clueless about what to do. But, while she tried figuring things out with her heart, she was sticking with Derek for now.

"Where you going tonight anyway?" Toby asked.

"Derek's got some fancy work do, so he invited me," said Zara as her eyes landed on Chandler while she walked over to him, who was sitting at the table with Zara's new laptop and her old one. "How's it going?"

Chandler cleared his throat, unable to look in Zara's direction as she leaned over him, wanting to see for herself. "It's just transferring, so it'll be done by tomorrow. Don't worry, it's in good hands."

"I know," Zara said, trusting him. "You're the only one I trust to do it."

Even Zara didn't trust herself to transfer her files over to her new laptop — it was literally her lifework now, so she was terrified of losing it. Of course, she had backups, but it was still enough to frighten Zara.

"You have backups," Chandler reminded her.

"I know, but it's still scary," said Zara, placing a hand on his back. "Thank you, though. You didn't have to do this for me."

Chandler finally looked at her, which triggered a smile. "You don't need to thank me, it's not like I had anything else to do with my Saturday night unlike you. That dress is, uh, certainly something."

Zara felt her heart become warm at the slight compliment, remembering the days when Chandler was always enchanted by her appearance. But, she forced herself to pull her hand away, turning to see that Joey was still looking at her too.

While there was still that warm glow in her heart, it now ached, just like how Joey was feeling too. Even though he said nothing, Zara knew. They both looked at her as if she was the only woman in the room, which didn't make it any easier for Zara.

The heartbreak and pinging between the three was contagious, where even a blind man could see it. And Zara knew it left the rest of her friends, including her brother now, feeling awkward.

"Look at you," said Derek, coming into the coffee house.

Hearing him, Zara forced herself to look at her boyfriend, seeing him in a tux, which was enough for Zara to forget her aching heart for a moment. Walking over to him, Zara felt his fingertips brush along the fabric of her waist, welcoming a kiss in the hope to distract her mind.

"You look insane," Derek told her. "Seriously, Zara. They're all going to love you tonight."

"I hope so," Zara said, fingers fiddling with the collar of Derek's blazar. "You know, you look pretty good too."

"Oh, they will," Derek reassured her, disregarding her compliment to him. "Tonight is going to be as perfect as you. We're gonna be all anyone is talking about."

Zara tried not to recoil at that and she started to wonder about the real reason why she was invited tonight. A part of her feared that Derek was using her, perhaps more than how Zara was using him.

As they said their goodbyes, their friends watched them leave with none of them looking particularly happy.

"I know I've only known Zara for a few months now," said Toby, eyes wandering around them all. "But Derek..."

"Oh, we don't like him," Chandler reassured him.

Joey scoffed. "That's putting it nicely."

"So I'm not the only one?" Toby realised, relieved by that. "I don't understand, what does Zara see in him?"

"Did you not just see him?" Rachel questioned. "I mean, wow."

"Yeah, pretty on the outside, but on the inside, he's an ass," Monica said.

"Wow," said Toby. "You hate someone more than me."

"You're nothing like Derek, Toby," Monica told him. "I don't trust him, he's gonna end up hurting her again. Last time, all he did was use her as a charity case to make himself look better, and then, lost interest in her as if she had served his purpose."

"And now here he is," said Joey, bitterly. "When Zara's found fame. I'm not the smartest, but even I know what he's up to."

"Have you not spoken to Zara about this?" Toby questioned, concerned for his sister, but didn't feel like it was his place to get involved.

"Zara's stubborn," Monica said. "I'm sure she knows, she's just choosing not to see it."

That and they were using each other. There was more to it, of course, but Monica didn't want to expose everything about Zara when the two main reasons were currently sitting with them. Plus, it was Zara's secret.

"Ugh, I hate it," Pheobe said. "I don't want to see Zara hurt."

No one did, but they could all see how it was going to end.

♡

As Zara held a glass of champagne, she felt a little uncomfortable at Derek's party, where clients were involved in the hope to sell properties. The party was held at their priciest apartment on the market with the belief that it might sell that night.

Being here, Zara felt out of place, and she missed the comfort of the coffee house or simply just being with her friends. But, even as she sipped on her glass, hoping to be avoided, Zara was a recognisable face to them.

Apparently, Derek had been telling everyone about her, so Zara ended up being crowded with everyone wanting to talk about her book. And then there was Derek, who was grinning brightly, capturing the spotlight.

Zara's eyes were on him, completely shocked.

"Babe, come meet my boss," said Derek, resting a hand on her back as he guided Zara over to a grey-haired man, who was most likely standing with his wife. As they walked over, the two spotted them with a pleasant smile. "Michal, this is my girlfriend, Zara Ellison."

As introductions were made, Zara shook the man's hand before smiling politely at his wife.

"You're the author, right?" Michal questioned.

"Yeah, that's me," Zara forced a smile.

"Yeah, Derek told me about you," said Michal. "I was hoping to get a few signed copies for my grandkids, you see."

"Zara's more than happy to do that, right, babe?" Derek spoke for her.

Zara forced a smile, nodding her head. "Yeah, sure."

The conversation continued, but it seemed forced, where Zara felt like nothing more than a prop as she gripped her champagne glass. Of course, the main conversation was between Derek and Michal. Eventually, the two wandered off together, discussing business as Derek was trying to get a property to sell.

Zara was left with Micha's wife, unknowing what to say. There was only so much small talk Zara could think to make.

But, when Derek came back over, he was grinning brightly as if he had just won the lottery. His hand fell onto the small of Zara's back, guiding her away to a quieter area as he leaned in to whisper quietly in her ear: "I've just scored my biggest listing, so the commission is going to change our lives."

Zara felt her heart drop, starting to see the truth.

"Does everyone know I'm an author?" Zara questioned, turning to face him again.

"Yeah, I had to tell everyone, of course," said Derek. "That and you're still top of the New York Times. Everyone wanted to meet my famous girlfriend. Once you sign those books for Michal, the listing will be mine."

At those words, Zara downed the rest of her glass, knowing she wanted to leave.

"I'm gonna go," Zara decided.

"What?" Derek questioned. "Zara, you can't leave."

"Why not?" Zara challenged. "Would that embarrass you or do you want to use me again to get your next listing?"

"Quiet," Derek hissed.

His hand was on her arm, starting to tighten as Zara tried pulling away. A few eyes landed on them, which Derek did not like as he pulled Zara down the corridor, heading outside of the apartment.

"Derek, stop," Zara told him.

In the corridor of the fancy apartment block, he paused as he rounded on Zara, running a hand through the long strands of his hair.

"Zara, this night is important," Derek told her. "My career is counting on this."

"It seems like your career is counting on me," Zara corrected.

"In real estate, this is how it works," explained Derek. "It's all about who you know or what you do to stand out. But, Zara, don't you see? With this commission and the money you're making, we can get somewhere like this. We could have everything."

"But I don't want this," Zara told him. "I don't care about a fancy apartment, I'm happy with where I live now, and I don't like being used, Derek."

Derek scoffed. "You're only happy there because of the two who live opposite you."

"No, maybe it's because I get to live with my best friends," Zara defended herself. "And you know what? Maybe I am happy because Chandler and Joey live opposite me. They wouldn't do this to me, Derek. Joey's an actor and not once has he used my sudden fame to help his career."

"You're making me a villain again," Derek accused her. "Just like last time."

"Yeah, because you told everyone about my past when I wasn't comfortable," Zara argued, trying her hardest not to get angry. "You only loved me because you thought you could fix me, then showed me off to the world as your trophy. Just like you're doing now. Do you even love me or was this all a lie?"

"I do love you," Derek said. "How could I not?"

"But you only came back because I had a purpose in your life again," Zara realised, finding it crazy that her heart was being broken again. "I wasn't enough."

Even though Zara didn't love him, she had been naive in the belief that he had come back for her. Zara had fallen into the trap again and she was furious at herself.

"I'm not doing this," Zara decided. "This isn't worth it. I don't deserve this."

"Zara, come on," Derek said with a sigh. "You're being over the top about this. We'll just forget tonight happened and then we'll talk about you moving in with me tomorrow."

"No, Derek," Zara told him. "We're done."

Derek's jaw tightened. "We're not done."

"Yes, we are," Zara repeated, keeping her voice low as she didn't want the embarrassing scene of anyone catching them — and she didn't have the energy to argue. "Goodbye."

But, as Zara turned to leave, Derek's hand yanked her back by her wrist. Pain shot up her arm as she spun to face him, more shocked over anything. While he had his harsh moments, Derek had never hurt her like that before.

"Let go of me," Zara hissed at him.

"No, because you're not leaving me," Derek's voice was quiet, his face too close to her. "We're not breaking up again."

"That's not your choice to make," Zara argued. "You ruined this, Derek. Again."

Zara tried pulling her arm away, feeling the throbbing pain in her wrist as she was afraid that Derek had actually broken something. Instead of letting her go, he pulled her closer towards him, and kissed her, thinking that would leave Zara in a haze again.

Instead, her knee rose, colliding with his private area as he doubled over in pain. His hand freed Zara, cupping himself as he collapsed to his knees.

Not having anything else to say, Zara left the apartment block, hoping to quickly hail a taxi before Derek caught up to her.

When she returned to the apartment, Zara hoped everyone was still downstairs or at least at the guys' place. Though, as she opened the front door, everyone was in the living room and they were surprised to see Zara home so early.

"Zara?" Monica instantly stood, sensing something was wrong. "What is it? What's happened?"

Zara didn't answer; if she opened her mouth, then the tears that currently burned the back of her throat would spill. Instead, she ignored her friends — and her brother — dodging their questions and concerns as she hurried into her bedroom, slamming the door closed behind her.

Sitting down on her bed, Zara looked down at her wrist for the first time. Already, the skin was swelling and bruised, where Zara hated Derek — hated herself.

But, this was all her fault. Instead of figuring out what she had wanted, Zara had chosen the worst person — someone who was supposed to fix everything, but instead, left Zara in more of a mess than what she had been in.

"Zara, honey?" Monica knocked on the door. "I'm coming in, okay? I don't care if you say no."

The door opened and Monica was quick to close it behind her, so no one could see Zara as she finally burst into tears. Not saying anything, Monica was quick to hug her friend, gently rubbing a hand on her back to soothe her.

"I hate him," Zara stated, hating the fact that her voice broke too. "You were right, Derek hasn't changed. He's even worse now."

"I didn't want to be right," Monica told her. "What happened?"

Zara pressed her lips together as Monica pulled back. Her fingers were gentle on Zara's arm, spotting the injury, and the fingerprints that were coming up in bruises.

"Derek's in a worse place," Zara reassured her. "I don't think he'll be able to have kids."

"Honey, this shouldn't have happened," Monica said, completely devastated. "Zara, you gotta get this checked. We need to go to the hospital."

"Not now," said Zara. "Not tonight."

With her free hand, Zara wiped the tears, hating the fact that she was crying. Pushing backwards, Zara ended up laying down on her bed, where Monica leaned on her elbow, looking down at Zara, staying with her.

"What do you need?" Monica offered.

"Just a friend," said Zara.

"Well, you have plenty of those," Monica told her. "But I've kicked everyone out, even Rachel's gone to the guys', so it's just you and me."

"You, me, and a bottle of wine?" Zara asked.

"If that'll help," said Monica. "And a bag of peas for your wrist. Then, you're gonna tell me what happened, okay? I mean it, Zara, or I'll hunt down Derek myself."

Zara sighed, though she was thankful for Monica. When she returned, Zara sat up against her headboard with the bag of frozen peas on her wrist and a glass of wine in the other. It was a tragic end, but Zara would survive, just like she always did.

So, Zara told Monica everything that had happened that night, hating to see her friend so angry, but it showed Monica had more love for her than Derek ever did with their long history."I made a mistake," Zara confessed, still hating herself. "Picking Derek only made things worse."

"As much as I hate him — and I'm seriously debating about killing him right — I don't think it's a complete waste," said Monica. "Honey, can't you see now that you deserve so much better than someone like Derek?"

"I know I do," Zara realised, and she started to laugh, the sound so haunted and broken. "And the crazy part? The two I deserve are right here and I can't decide who I love more to be with. Derek was supposed to be what I needed to get over them and now look how it's ended. This was never supposed to happen. How have I screwed everything up this much?"

"You haven't screwed anything up," Monica reassured her.

"Even though I was using him, I thought Derek had come back for me," Zara confessed. "Instead, he just came back in the hope I would end up famous enough to benefit him. I can't believe I was so stupid to fall for it again."

"But you realised that this time," Monica told her. "You were never stupid, Zara. A part of you did love Derek, and you were afraid to leave him last time. You didn't fall for him again, Zara."

"I know, and he didn't like that," Zara said, staring down at her wrist again. "I wasn't easy for him to control this time."

But Zara had failed to be in control of the relationship too like she had wanted.

"As much as I hate him for hurting you, I'm so proud of you," said Monica, smiling warmly. "You know your worth, Zara. You know the kind of love you deserve now."

"I've been so scared of being in love, but do you know what I want more than anything?" Zara told her friend, feeling more braver now with her eyes starting to open, seeing everything clearly.

"What?" Monica asked.

"For someone to love me enough to stop me from leaving," Zara said. "I just want someone to love me, and realise that I'm enough. I don't want it to be just me anymore."

"Honey, you have that," Monica replied, placing her hand on her arm. "Chandler and Joey love you so much that they're still here, waiting for you. You know, Ross and Toby had to calm them down as they knew Derek had hurt you."

"I don't deserve them," said Zara. "All I've ever done is hurt them."

"You never hurt them on purpose," Monica said. "And you've been hurting too. You know, all I want is for you to be happy, and you can have that, Zara. It's about time you chose someone who truly loves you. I promise you with a love like that, you'll realise how easy it is."

Zara took a long sip of her wine, knowing her heart was full of regret and anger over Derek, but she knew now that choosing love was easier than running from it. If she had chosen right, then Zara wouldn't be hurt right now.

"There's just one problem," said Zara. "I don't know who."

Monica wore a sad smile, unable to make that decision for Zara.

♡

While Zara wanted to keep to herself the following day, Monica was adamant about taking Zara to the hospital. To her surprise, though, Toby joined them.

"What are you doing here?" Zara questioned.

"I'm your brother," said Toby. "Monica called me, so I said I'd come by to be with you. But, i can go if you want me to."

I'm your brother. It was an answer that Zara hadn't expected, but it was something she had always wanted to hear. The words were something easily shared between family, meaning they cared.

Zara shook her head with a smile. "No, please stay."

Toby smiled too, taking a seat next to Zara as Monica handed the forms back to the receptionist, giving them a moment. "So, as your brother," said Toby. "Do you need me to beat him up?"

Despite everything, Zara laughed. "No, you don't need to. I took care of Derek myself."

"Of course you did," Toby replied. "But, I'm still tempted to punch him myself."

"I don't think you're the only one," Zara told him. "You might have to get behind a few people, especially Monica."

"Oh, I know," said Toby. "I had to talk Monica out of murder this morning when I called to check in on you."

Even though Zara's heart was broken, she felt Toby's words perhaps enough to heal the pieces back together. It wasn't who she was expecting, but Zara had family, who were here for her, and willing to do anything for her. Toby had called because he was worried about her.

"Thank you," Zara said, meeting her brother's gaze. "You know, I would beat up anyone for you too."

Toby laughed at that. "I wouldn't be surprised."

It eased Zara to know that she hadn't ruined her relationship with her brother. While she was worried that they were different, here they were, acting like siblings and she couldn't believe it.

In the end, Zara had a bad sprain, which was a relief. The healing time should be a few weeks at most, but Zara was under strict instructions to let herself heal, and not force herself to write.

That evening, Zara was determined not to sit in her room and sulk. Derek was not worth shedding any more tears over, but she wasn't quite ready to open up to the possability of what was to happen next.

Instead, she found herself teasing Ross' tragic date.

"You're making it sound worse than what it was," Monica told him, handing her brother a bottle of beer before giving the other to Toby.

"Her date tipped me ten dollars," Ross said.

Zara couldn't help but laugh in response. Ross had gone out on a date last night, but it ended up being him babysitting Ben and the woman's kid while she went out on a date.

"You made ten dollars," Toby pointed out. "That's something."

"And you know," added Zara. "She didn't come home with the date, so really, she spared you from any embarrassment."

Though Ross was still clearly embarrassed, he let Zara carry on.

But, Phoebe came into the kitchen, wearing a summer dress with her hair dripping wet as she opened the kitchen window. Autumn had come around quickly, so it wasn't exactly warm outside now.

"Pheebs, what are you doing?" Ross asked.

"Okay, I want to be sexy again," Phoebe told them. "So, I'm trying to catch a cold. Should be easy. Supposedly they're pretty common."

"Pheebs, you're already sexy," Zara reassured her. "You don't need a cold for that."

"I need to sound sexy," Phoebe corrected.

"Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia," Monica told her, standing to move her away.

The front door opened, where Zara's eyes fell on Chandler. He immediately saw her, seeing the temporary sling, as she felt her heartbeat quicken, unknowing what to say or even do.

"Hey," said Chandler.

"Hey," Zara replied.

"Is it broken?" Chandler asked.

Zara shook her head. "Just a sprain."

Everyone was silent, looking between the two, where they didn't know if they should stay or go.

"And Derek?" Chandler questioned.

"We broke up," Zara reassured him. "I left him after kneeling him in the balls."

It was a set-up for Chandler to make a joke — to make this normal between them — but he didn't take the bait.

"Chandler," said Zara. "Please make a joke."

"There's nothing funny about this," Chandler told her instead. "Zara, Derek physically hurt you. How am I supposed to react to that?"

"Maybe we should go," Monica suggested and then she sneezed. "Gosh, Phoebe. I think I caught your cold."

"You mean you stole it," Phoebe accused, where Monica sneezed again. "Don't cover your mouth when you do that. Let's go, to the bedroom. You can make me sick."

"Uh... Toby, shall we go do that thing?" Ross suggested.

"Oh, yeah," Toby realised what Ross was doing as Zara rolled her eyes at them. "That thing. Yeah, let's go."

Everyone was quick to leave: two heading in the direction of Monica's bedroom and the other two leaving the apartment. It was just Chandler and Zara as she looked up at him again from where she sat, watching as he took a seat close to her.

"I don't know what to say," Chandler confessed.

"Neither do I," Zara realised. "I don't think there's anything to say right now, Chandler. What happened, happened, but it's over now. Derek was a mistake."

"As happy as I am that it's over between you," said Chandler. "I never wanted it to end like this. I never wanted to see you hurt."

"I didn't want this either," Zara confessed. "Trust me, it wasn't part of the plan. I guess we were kind of using each other, so this is partly my fault. I shouldn't have gotten back together with him."

"Derek hurting you is not your fault," Chandler told her. "I've never hated someone as much as I hate Derek."

"You're not the only one that hates him," Zara said.

Chandler's hand reached across the table, fingers gently wrapping around Zara's good hand that rested on the table. Maybe they had more to say, but it wasn't the right time when everything was so fresh.

Still, though, Zara's hand turned, allowing her to hold onto Chandler's hand too as she stared down at their hands. His thumb was soothing as it traced circles on her skin, silently telling Zara that he was there for her.

After Derek, it was gentle and welcoming, and Zara knew she wanted someone to love her like this.

This was what she deserved.

♡

Monica ended up being sick with a cold while Rachel and Ross were arguing (again). Wanting some space, Zara headed down to the coffee house early before Phoebe's set that night.

Zara was fed up with being one-handed, but even her agent had ordered Zara to focus on healing rather than typing. Still, though, everyone seemed to forget that writing was a way for Zara to escape from all the negative parts of her life.

Writing was a distraction from her anger at Derek and her split heart that she was now trying to figure out. Zara was overwhelmed with too many emotions, plus she wasn't sleeping great as she was up tossing and turning about everything.

But, down here, she hoped to hide and write. So, with one hand, she tried to pull out her new laptop from her bag.

"Woah, woah," Joey's voice appeared, coming into the coffee house. "Zara, let me help you."

"I don't need help!" Zara snapped.

Though, even Zara flinched. With wide eyes, she turned to look at Joey, who was no longer making the gesture to help Zara.

"Sorry," Zara apolgosied. "I just don't like needing to rely on someone else."

"I know you don't," Joey replied. "But you know we're here for you anyway. What are you doing anyway? You know you're not allowed to write right now."

Zara sighed, sitting back down on the sofa with Joey following. "I just wanted to write. I have deadlines, so I can't waste any time."

"Two weeks won't hurt you," Joey said.

"But it is hurting me," Zara confessed, looking at him. "Writing might be my job now, but... Joey, it brings me comfort. I need that right now."

"Okay," said Joey, seeing how important this was to her. "So, why don't you tell me what to write and I'll type it for you."

Zara managed a smile at that. "I can type one-handed, you know."

"But that's not resting," Joey replied.

"I don't want to rest," said Zara. "I'm fine. Really."

"No, you're not," Joey told her. "I wish you were, but you're not okay right now. I... I want to be there for you as a friend, but I don't know how. So let me type for you."

"You don't need to do anything," Zara reassured him. "You're always there for me."

"If that was true, then Derek would have never laid a hand on you," said Joey. "I should have spoken up sooner or done something."

"There was nothing you could have done," Zara told him.

"There was," Joey insisted. "I could have fought more for you. Fought for us to be together."

Zara's speechless, looking at Joey again.

"I keep letting you go," Joey said. "I told you I loved you again and I watched you leave. If I had chased after you, then maybe I could have saved you from Derek."

"I never needed a hero and this isn't your fault," said Zara, feeling her heart awaken to life, so desperate to be loved. "You know, I never loved Derek. I was just with him as I didn't want to lose you guys as friends. But now..."

"Now?" Joey questioned as Zara witnessed the hope ignite inside him like a flame.

And seeing that look, Zara leaned forward, kissing Joey instead of finishing her sentence. It surprised them both at first, but Joey pulled back.

"Zara, I can't keep doing this," Joey told her.

"Neither can I," said Zara. "I'm a mess, but I want you."

"So, this is real this time?" Joey questioned. "You're not just messing with me?"

"No," Zara told him. "I've always loved you."

That was all Joey need to hear as he was kissing Zara again with his hands cupping her cheeks, being gentle to make sure that he didn't knock her wrist. Zara smiled into the kiss, knowing she was choosing to be happy this time.

But, outside the coffee house, Chandler spotted the two from the window. In his hands, he had a bouquet of irises, where Monica had practically shouted at him that Zara was at the coffee house once he had told her his plan.

Chandler had planned on telling Zara that he still loved her — that he wanted a second chance to be with her. Zara deserved the world and Chandler wanted to give her the sun and moon too. Hell, maybe even the stars. He had been terrified of what he felt, but now it had felt right; now fear wasn't going to hold him back from telling her.

And now here was, watching the woman he loved kiss his best friend.

A bittersweet smile was on his face as he forced himself to leave, throwing the irises into the garbage can. Once again, Chandler was too late, and his second chance was gone. 

♡

I don't know if you guys are going to hate me for this lol. Things did escalate more from my original plan, so I added the trigger warning. So much drama, but I feel like it's very, very obvious who Zara's going to end up with. I might be wrong though! Either way, Zara truly deserves everything and it's about time she lets herself be loved.