[Mulberry tree]: I shall not survive you

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I stare through the mirror, at my flowing white dress that drapes elegantly around my figure. The satin shimmers as if woven from moonlight, making me gasp at how beautiful it actually is. The off-shoulder design reveals the slope of my collarbones and the curve of my neck, to show both innocence and allure that should be characteristic of me today.

The bodice cinches at my waist, adorned with intricate lacing, the corset coming together on the front, complementing the vintage aesthetic of the dress. Puff sleeves balloon out gracefully, while the flowing skirt cascades in luxurious folds, sweeping down to the floor like a silken waterfall.

My brown curls flow down in waves, past my shoulders and reaching almost my lower back. I have a crown-like headband on, made of different red artificial flowers, because I'd never sacrifice so many beauties for my look.

My fingers trace the red chrysanthemums, lilies, hydrangeas, carnations, alstroemerias and then the small fake pomegranates I've added myself in between.

In Greek mythology, the pomegranate plays a significant role in the story of Persephone's abduction by Hades. While in the underworld, Persephone ate a few seeds of the pomegranate offered by Hades, without knowing that they'd forever bound her to the realm of the dead.

Consequently, she had to spend a part of each year in the underworld with Hades, leading to the cycle of seasons as her mother, Demeter, mourned her absence in the winter months.

So yes, it has a very significant role in Persephone's story, and of course I wanted to add it to my look tonight. Because tonight, I'm her...

I'm Persephone.

The only thing I'm missing is my Hades. Will he come after me tonight?

Instead, I'm currently holding onto a big pan that isn't mine and kind of makes my whole look comical.

"Sorry, I took longer than expected." Sydney emerges from the bathroom into the waiting area in front of it, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I turn around, staring at my best friend like the eye-candy that she is in her purple Rapunzel costume that makes her boobs look more phenomenal.

My friend is HOT, and I mean it with my whole chest, not only because she's my best friend, but because she truly is and everyone can see it.

Ever since we were kids, she's always had guys running after her, begging her to look at them even for a second. And now in college too, she has so many guys hitting on her, it's actually a rare occasion to walk with her and not have people stop and talk to her.

With her big blue eyes, natural blonde hair and always in-shape figure, she looks like a model right out of a Vogue issue. As if that isn't enough, she has the brains, the talent, and the personality, to make the entire population complain about their unfair life.

Sometimes I'm so proud she's my best friend, it makes my heart unbearably full. I'm sure one day she'll be on the biggest stages she's ever dreamed of, performing roles she has only fantasized about.

"No worries, hottie," I wink at her with a smile, before holding out her pan in front of her. "I believe this belongs to you."

"Thanks, my Goddess," she bows with a modest smile, holding her hands out in front of her as if she's accepting a sward. I place it into her hands with a chuckle, before we start walking back to the gym.

The Halloween party held there is at its full bloom as we enter. Actually, it's close to its conclusion, but I've begged Sydney to stay a little longer. I'm still waiting for a certain someone, but of course I couldn't tell her that. I hate the idea of lying to her over and over again, but I just know that she'll not understand or accept the idea of me and Connor. Trouble, as she knows him.

Looking around for Connor, I notice that many students are still dancing to The Weeknd in their scary and funny costumes, losing themselves in the beat, while some are making out in the dark corners, drinking from the secret bottles of vodka they'd sneaked in, and complimenting each other on their realistic looks.

The whole place is designed with fake ghosts, spiders and webs, vampire statues and artificial blood.

The design is nothing unusual or grand, nothing as unique as my mother would make, but still, I'm happy to be here. Tonight, I feel closer to my mom, more than I've felt in a year.

As I was dressing for the night, I imagined her looking at me in the mirror, and smiling so big and bright, it almost felt like I could see her.

She'd be so excited, so happy to see my first Halloween party at uni. She'd approve my look, she definitely would because she was the one to get me hooked on Greek mythology through architecture, and she was too proud of it.

For a second, I hope I can see her today in my dream, even if it's because of my paralysis.

"Have you seen Jack yet?" Sydney mumbles as we click our Cokes, before moving her head to the right as a hint. "Or should I say Captain Jack Sparrow?"

When my eyes catch Jack across the room, drinking and talking to his mates in his pirate costume, I share a laugh with Syd.

"I was the one to give him the idea. Now tell me I'm not a genius." She says with a huge smile.

"You totally are." I answer with a grin before my eyes travel to the entrance of the gym for the infinite time tonight.

I knew the chances of Connor being here were small, but I was hoping... praying for it, honestly.

Does this mean he went to the other party he was invited to? By the girl that interrupted our project discussion the other day?

My whole body tingles with burning fire, as the memories of how I asked him to come tonight flood my head.

We were so close, so intimate, so lost in each other. But I haven't seen him for two days and it's torture.

I crave being near him all the time, knowing he's close, and our eyes can meet any second. It's like I'm a sunflower, and he's the sun, I'm constantly reaching for him even though he's so far away.

After leaving the study room, I locked myself up in the bathroom for what felt like an eternity, tidying up and trying to look less like I've just been freshly screwed in a dark study room by a hot guy I've been drooling over since I was five.

Took me a while to catch my breath and then just stare at myself in the mirror and smile like a complete weirdo. I started to giggle joyfully too, and of course that's when a girl came out of one of the cabins, eyeing me suspiciously to let me know she's heard me.

When I finally left the bathroom and went back to the study hall, Connor was already gone. So were his sketchbook and other belongings. Not surprising at all. But what indeed surprised me was my bag, carefully placed on my chair with my stuff inside it and zipped. The books I'd placed on the table carelessly were piled up on my side of the desk, too.

It warmed my heart, knowing he'd done it for me, probably not realizing it would give me such tingly feelings and prove how much he still cared. Another smile crept on my lips and stayed there the whole time I did my research.

Every time my eyes rested on his chair, I got distracted, to say the least, but still managed to find and write down four locations I'll have to check next week.

"Let's go!" Sydney exclaims next to me, snapping me out of my head.

When my surroundings come into view, she's hurriedly drinking down the last of her Coke, before placing it on the bar and tagging at my arm.

"It's the Neighborhood!" She exclaims. "We have to rock to my babies!"

"Your love for them is unhealthy." I tell her, but I'm already halfway across the dance floor, my empty cup forgotten on the table too.

We dance, jump and scream to every Neighborhood song, and keep it up for another half an hour before the music gets slower and one of the seniors asks Sydney to dance with him.

She wants to refuse, but one glare from me, and she's accepting it with a huge smile.

My eyes catch a random guy making his way to me across the dance floor, eyes concentrated on me, but before he can reach me, I disappear in the crowd, making my way toward the exit leading to the backyard.

No way I'm dancing with someone else tonight.

Once outside, I take a deep breath, my smile disappearing like an invisible mask.

My feet slowly lead me to the end of the backyard, so I can hear my thoughts away from the loud music.

What did I even expect? Of course, Connor would not come to prove his point, to show me I'm not important. I'm no one to him now, even though he knows how I look when I'm whispering his name in ecstasy.

But the way he looked at me while we shared our breaths made me think that something had changed between us that day. And now it hurts to realize that any closeness I felt with him that day might have been just a fragment of my imagination.

Does he really only want my body? Does he really not care?

Oh, God, what if I fail to make him fall in love with me again? What if I fail before he really breaks me.

He's never going to feel the same way I feel about him, is he?

The thought alone is like a bullet to my heart, and  suddenly it becomes hard to breathe. I have to wrap my arms around myself to soothe the pain with my butterfly technique, taking deep breaths as my pace slows down.

And then all kinds of thoughts leave my head when I come to a stop in front of an antique and ionic style marble bench, surrounded by endless bushes of red roses and some small lamps on the ground.

"Wow," I breathe out, astonished, skipping a few steps to get closer.

It looks so breathtaking, so divine in this dark night, that all my problems and worries melt away.

How come I have never seen this before? Never heard of its existence even?

I turn around to check if maybe I'm off the college grounds.

Maybe I've indeed walked that far while buried in my head? Right past the moon and out of this universe.

I can see the law department building from here, but it does look like I've walked farther than I've intended.

As my attention turns back to the flowers, my smile is so huge it's hurting, but still, I'm wearing it as I bend to smell them. My hand instinctively reaches out to one fully open bud, fingers brushing the soft petals and bringing it even closer to me.

Closing my eyes, I breathe it in, getting lost in the chilly October night and my magical therapy I've just found accidentally.

A crack echoing into the night makes me jump on my feet, stabbing my pointer finger on a thorn as a result.

"Ouch," I mumble, bringing it to my mouth instinctively, to stop the pain and the blood.

Straightening up, my wide eyes catch a tall figure on my side.

Before I can panic or tense, the figure steps out of the shadows, walking into the dim light.

My whole body relaxes, though my heart starts beating wilder than a second ago when I was scared.

He's here!

He's here because I asked him too. Because I wanted him to be here.

Because touching me has changed things for him too.

A huge smile starts to slowly form on my lips, while I stare at him dumbfounded.

Unlike his casual style, tonight Connor's wearing a black suit, with a pair of shiny and expensive looking shoes, and a black shirt. He has the top three buttons of his shirt undone, exposing smooth, toned skin, and I think I die a little.

He should stop looking so dashing and absolutely edible, or else I'm going to steal him for my eyes only. That is, if I survive him tonight in this mouthwatering outfit.

He's totally not dressed for the party, it's too formal, and my heart cracks thinking he might have made an effort for a girl.

"Let me guess, Persephone?" Connor speaks while I mentally drool over him, my finger still pressed against my mouth. I shake my head, snapping out of my trance and dropping my hand to my side.

I nod with a smile, taking a few steps toward my Sun, so now we are facing each other, the distance between us murdered.

"Are you my Hades then?" I ask, looking him up and down with dreamy eyes. "Are you here to steal me to your dark underworld?"

He crooks his head to the left, thinking about it for a second before answering.

"What if I am?" His eyes break into my soul with the depth they hold.

"I'll come with you willingly then. Let's go! To the end of the world with you."

"Such a reckless little thing you are." He mumbles after another second, shaking his head at me as if I'm an exasperating child he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Only when I'm with you." My voice and face are serious when I answer. Suddenly, my eyes narrow at the steel flask in his hand, before traveling back up to his face.

"Did you drink?"

Why is he always drinking? I used to think I always just got him at a bad time, but now I'm starting to worry that maybe he just likes to drink all the time.

"I was about to, but then I saw you." He says hiding it inside the inner pocket of his blazer.

"You drink too often, Connor..."

"Makes life easier," he cuts me off with a shrug, and I'm surprised he even answered it.

My heart sinks at the possible reasons of his alcohol habits.

"Why?" I whisper, scared to even hear the answer. "Is it hard without it? Because of me? Do I really make you uncomfortable?"

I count the roses as I stare to the side, to keep calm.

One, two, three, four, five, six...

"You're the solution, Sky, how can you possibly be the problem too?" He whispers, ending my torture and his voice is so low, as if he's sharing a secret no one but me is allowed to hear.

My heart starts to race again as I turn my head to face him. He's looking at me already, eyes so green in the dark, so familiar, it takes my breath away.

"Then why?"

"You know nothing I've been through. I've done things, experienced things..."

"Then tell me," I take another step toward him, hating to be even a few feet away from him.  "Use me as your medicine."

He stares back at me, biting the inside of his cheek, before reaching out and correcting the edge of my dress over my chest. Goosebumps form on my skin as the tip of his thumb traces my skin there, his eyes following the movement.

"I should, shouldn't I?" He mumbles deep in thought, but I nod obediently anyway.

"Show me how I can heal you, Connor." I whisper breathless, scared to break the spell.

"Saying my name like that is a good start." When I just stare at him surprised, he goes on. "It's too heavy, you won't be able to carry it. Sometimes... sometimes I wonder if you will look at me the same way that you do now if you knew the things I've done..."

"How do I look at you now?" My whole body inches toward him on instinct and without even realizing, my chest is almost pressed against his.

"Like nothing can ever scare you away from me."

"It's the truth. I'm not scared of you," I go on my tiptoes to brush the tip of my nose with his gently, because I need to be close to him. As close as possible, and yet not scare him off. "I'll never be." I whisper, itching to kiss him. "No matter what you tell me, no matter what everyone else says about you, no matter what you did or do, I'll never look away from you."

He grabs my arm, to keep me where I am, as he closes his eyes and just breathes my scent in. But before I can lean into him, he pulls me away from him, stepping out of my reach.

I'm breathless and confused as I stare at him with a questioning look.

"What's your plan this time?" He says with a small shake of his head. "What will this whole circus give you this time? Is this one of your manipulating games?"

"You really think that of me? That I'm that kind of person? That our friendship didn't mean anything to me?" I whisper, my heart bleeding, because if this is what he really thinks I did during our friendship too, then I've failed to have his heart as a friend too.

"I know it didn't mean shit to you. You're a selfish little liar, quitting on people when they need you the most."

"Need me?" I laugh humorlessly, because it hits a freaking nerve. "Don't be a hypocrite. You were out there living your best life while I... while I..."

While I ached for you, while I yearned for you, craved you like my drug and needed you like a herb, while I died for you a thousand times.

But I don't say any of it, because it will make me sound desperate, and I hate being desperate like that in front of it. The idea of him thinking I was happy and living my best life is better than him thinking I was a broken disaster.

"Finish the fucking sentence." He growls. "You promised you would give me answers if I showed up."

"Does it even matter anymore? You'll still be living in the past to keep yourself in check, to convince yourself you hate me. All because I didn't take your calls? News flash, jerk, when you want to get to someone, you try harder!"

"You have no fucking idea how hard I tried, so shut your mouth before you say something you'll regret." His tone is dangerous, threatening even, as his eyes mentally murder me.

"I do! The same way I know how much you actually crave me but do anything in your power to hate me!"

"Just because I want to screw you, doesn't make you special. No matter how wide and willingly you spread your legs for me, you'll always be just another fuck."

My palm burns with the strong impact of the slap, the sound getting swallowed in the dark, silent night.

Still, I don't move, staring at his side profile with tears burning the back of my eyes and the red handprint slowly forming on his cheek.

I'm breathing heavily because of the supernatural power I use to not break down and sob in front of him. I won't let him see me cry again, not this total stranger.

I was so stupid, so stupid to believe I could get him back. That I could get the guy this time.

"Who are you?" I take a step back as if I've just been shot, my whole body cold. "I don't know why I even bother with you anymore. No matter how intimate we are, how close I try to get to you, you'll always think I abandoned you. No matter what I say, how hard I try to make you see me, even if I give you a valid reason, you'll always think of it as an excuse. You'll always hate me and try to hurt me to reassure yourself we are nothing."

He doesn't say anything as he slowly turns his head to me, foreign eyes assessing me with a mocking smirk.

"Okay then. You don't want me to come near you? Great, I won't. You don't want me to care for you, I will not. Don't want me to touch you, won't try with a ten meter wooden stick. You still hate me? Well then, screw you, Connor. I hate you too! I hate you!" I repeat, pushing my hands against his chest, and yet I'm the the one to stumble on my feet as he stays firm as a mountain.

"So don't you ever come near me again. Don't you ever dare to touch me again! I won't let you!" I stare him dead in the eyes... A single tear rolls down my cheek but I'm quick to wipe it away with the back of my hand, and tilt my chin up to fake a brave face even though I'm dying with a painful death. "I won't."

I need to find a quiet place to mourn, to take my time accepting the truth I now can see so clearly: he'll never love me.

He'll never love me...

He'll never love me...

I repeat this over and over in my head as I stare at him for the last time.

There is so much I want to say, so much I want to confess, so much I want to scream at his face, but I don't. Because there is no use in that. You can't change a mind, that's already made up.

Instead I shake my head to get rid of any thought that might make me stay or want to come back to him, and turn around to get away from him as far and fast as possible.

My heart shatters with every step I take, as I start to recite my favorite things in my head.

Red roses, early spring, pink sunsets, green eyes...

His eyes...

"Fuck it," I hear Connor mumble behind me and then suddenly his burning fingers wrap around my wrist with a strong grip, and pull at it.

Before I can even utter a single sound, he turns me around, grabs my face with both hands and crushes his mouth on mine in our first kiss that erases all my hurt and every thought.

My surprised yelp dies in my throat, as he bites down on my lower lip until I close my eyes in euphoria, parting my mouth for him without a fight.

He immediately deepens the kiss with a pace I can't keep up with, as if he's been craving kissing me for several lifetimes.

Connor's devouring me with complete abandon, savagery, and so much madness and hunger I feel dizzy. He's kissing me as if he can't get enough, as if he'll die if he stops.

It's a kiss that warns me there will be nothing left of me when he's done.

And I believe it.

~*~*~*~

Author's Note

Told you the new update is coming soon!

So THIS happened! They finally kissed! Really kissed! OMG! I've been waiting for it as long as you have as if I'm not the one actually writing this story lol. I've always wanted to write a kiss scene with a "fuck it" moment, you know what I mean? The one that would go perfectly with every Chase Atlantic song, but especially "The Walls" (at 2:45)!!! And what guy from our "Memories" universe could do it better than Trouble?! That's right, no one! So hope you can listen to that part of the Walls and actually see this scene clearly.

The next update is coming next week and I'm so happy I'm managing to update every week so far, like I've promised you.

And you guys have no idea what's coming! This story is about to get real cute, intense, fucked up and dramatic. So hope you stick around!

Again, please don't forget to comment as much as you can, and vote for the chapters as well, because it not only motivates me to update faster, but it also helps Trouble meet more awesome readers like you! Besides, my favorite hobby is reading your comments hahaha XD

Thank you for reading the things I write, truly means a lot!

Much love,

Melanie