"Who has never exploded in a fury does not know love either."
~Ernst Moritz Arndt
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Elsa

I cried until there were no more tears left. Even then, I stayed at the lake, dreading going back to the compound and facing my pack after my dramatic exit. I dreaded facing my alphas and my sisters especially. I'd been too harsh with my words, but at the time, it felt like the only way I could get them to understand what I was going through.

It dawned on me after an hour that I'd forgotten to bring a jacket for my midnight escapade in the middle of winter.

The tips of my fingers lost feeling rapidly, but rather than doing the intelligent thing and heading back home, I stayed out, shifting into a wolf instead and staring at the stranger before me in the lake's reflection.

It was one thing not to know other people; it was another not to know one's self.

"Elsa?" A hesitant voice said. "Please tell me that's you and not some rogue wolf that's about to have some stupid human as a tasty meal."

I lifted my head to find Roy cautiously approaching me. I shifted back, giving him a small smile. "Hey. What are you doing all the way out here?"

"I was on patrol and saw you go streaking by. Decided to come looking for you. Paul's looking for you in the park itself. What happened?"

"I snapped," I admitted. "I'm just exhausted and frustrated, and I wrongly took it out on my family. I need to go back and apologize, but I just... can't bring myself to do it."

"That's what all the ruckus was about then." Roy leaned against the boulder next to me. "I can't blame you for snapping. I'm actually surprised it took so long."

"What do you mean?"

"You were always a little rebellious and free-spirited. You didn't like being overly controlled. With the rules your alphas have instituted, I can see how you'd be itching to be alone, memories or no memories."

I scoffed lightly. "These rules are in place because of the trouble I brought on everyone. I'm starting to wonder if me being at the compound is the best idea."

"It is, for now. If you're thinking about the Academy, I've heard it's a bit chaotic with the two factions discussing your kind's survival. The Unius Speciei are growing in power, and if a lone wolf joined the ranks there, I worry about your safety. So trust me, as much as it's not safe at the compound, it's even more unsafe at the Academy."

"How do you know?"

"I still have friends there. They keep me in the loop."

I stood up, brushing the dirt off my jeans. "I guess I should head back. It's been a while that I've been out here."

"Probably about four and a half hours."

I grimaced. "Is my family panicking?"

"Silently, yes."

I tipped my head back in dismay, saying, "Yeah, I should head back."

"Do you want a friend? Or do you want to be alone?"

"You can come with me. I'm not going to make you head back by yourself," I said, shoving my hands in my jean pockets in a futile attempt to warm my fingers up. Roy handed me his jacket, which I gladly accepted. "By the way, how did you get out here? Did you walk?"

"Partially," Roy replied with a shrug. "I remembered you telling me about this place one day and thought I'd check here on the off chance you were here. I drove to Bear Lake first, though, if that's what you're wondering."

"Can we take your car?" I asked hopefully. "I didn't really think this whole thing through when I ran all the way out here."

"You were distressed." Roy wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, my car's this way."

Allowing him to escort me back to the parking lot, we walked back in comfortable silence. I could hear his heart beating at an elevated pace and wondered if it was because of all the walking he'd been doing or if it was due to our close proximity. I'd always wondered if Roy liked me but never paid attention to it until now. I couldn't deny his attractiveness or great personality, but I felt nothing for him outside of friendship. Someone else existed out there for me, that much I knew. I just needed to figure out who. As far-fetched as it sounded, part of me wondered if I'd been with Spencer. I felt things towards him that I didn't feel towards anyone else. The emotions over him were... different. They weren't familial.

Roy and I got in his SUV and rode in silence to the compound. He made a call to Paul, telling him we were heading back. The ride was short, and upon arriving, we casually strolled through the courtyard, standing next to the fountain and chatting some more.

"You going to be okay tonight?" Roy asked, nudging me gently with his elbow.

"Yeah. It was nice to have some alone time, but I know I'm going to need to face the music tomorrow," I said, dismayed. "I'm dreading it. I hurt them when I shouldn't have. They just want to help me, and I threw it all in their faces."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. You have a lot going on."

"Yeah, but that's no excuse. Everyone does here. You don't see them snapping like a twig."

"No, but they also don't have the other factors you're dealing with either."

I smiled softly. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better."

"Any time. You deserve to be happy, Elsa, after everything you've been through," Roy said, brushing a piece of hair out of my face. Before I could react, he crashed his lips onto mine, cupping my face and keeping it locked in place to where I couldn't move. I froze, shocked by his actions and by my total lack of emotion towards him. Any other girl would've melted into such a passionate kiss, but all I wanted to do was to get away because it felt wrong.

Someone ripped Roy away from me, sending him sprawling onto the ground twenty feet away. Too stunned to move, I watched as Spencer stormed over to Roy with murder in his eyes. He snarled, "You stay the hell away from her!"

Roy scrambled up before my brother's beta descended upon him, grabbing Roy by the throat and lifting him effortlessly into the air. The sight jarred me back to my senses, and I rushed over to the quarreling boys.

"Spencer! Put him down!" I ordered, grabbing onto his arm. "Please, it was a misunderstanding!"

I'm not sure if he heard me or not; his seething rage blocked any rational thought from his mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of silver. Spencer grunted in pain, dropping Roy and clawing at something in his back. Taking advantage of the situation, Roy punched Spencer in the jaw.

"No!" I yelled, grabbing ahold of the twin and yanking him away. He snatched his arm out of my grasp and charged at Spencer. I followed, now noticing that not only was my brother's beta against Roy but Paul too. The twins fought side by side, taking Spencer on in a deadly game of cat and mouse.

"If you ever touch her again-" Spencer growled, shifting and lunging at Roy. He barreled into him, knocking the twin to the ground, teeth gnashing at his throat. Roy barely held Spencer at bay. Paul joined the fight, jumping on top of Spencer. I inserted myself in the row, trying to separate the three boys in a futile attempt.

I didn't last long.

A furious fist, intended to hit Spencer, slammed into my cheek with such a force, I staggered back with a cry of pain.

"Elsa!" Spencer shouted, shifting into a human, his attention solely on me. "Are you- AH!"

Paul and Roy used Spencer's distracted state to gain the upper hand again, punching him in the gut and nailing him in the back, but Spencer quickly recovered. Grabbing onto Paul's head from behind, he flipped the twin over his back. When Roy stood up, Spencer's fist connected with his jaw. One sickening crunch later, Roy crumpled to the ground, his jaw in an unnatural position.

Anna! Get out here! Bring Dom! I begged, desperate to have help because I knew I couldn't stop them, and if they weren't stopped, one of them was going to end up dead.

With Roy down for the count, Spencer and Paul were going at it fast and furious, trading blows with frightening strength. Paul managed to avoid most of Spencer's blows, ducking and dodging. A flash of silver in his hand caught my attention, and that's when I saw the knife.

No!

"Don't!" I cried out, lunging for Paul's weapon. I grabbed onto it, but Paul yanked it out of my grip. However, the momentary distraction gave Spencer his opening to gain the upper hand. Grabbing Paul by his shirt, Spencer pulled him close and punched the ever-living crap out of him.

"Spencer, stop! You're going to kill him!" I pleaded, wondering if anyone would be coming out to help me because I couldn't handle this on my own. Spencer's rage was too far gone, and the twins' fury and pride were making them fight to the death.

Suddenly, Dom and Noah appeared next to Spencer, grabbing his arms and pulling him away from Paul with a Herculean tug. Spencer still tried to lunge at the twins, shouting, "If you ever touch her again, I will fu-"

"What?" Roy croaked out, sitting up, blood pouring down his face. "You... you did this. You abandon... abandoned her."

"That's not true!"

"Spencer! Calm down!" Dom said firmly.

"What the hell happened here?" Caleb demanded, Hunter beside him. His eyes rested on me. "Elsa, what-"

I hurriedly explained what happened, keeping a careful eye on the still vengeful Spencer, his murder-filled eyes trained on Roy. The more I spoke, the less he fought, however, his bravado dissipating.

Spencer tried one final yank to escape. "Let me go!"

Dom and Noah shared a disbelieving look, the former saying, "You going to try and kill him again?"

"No," Spencer said shortly.

"Let him go," I told them, anger suddenly rushing through my veins. "If he attacks, he'll have me to answer to."

Sharing another look, the two betas released Spencer. He rubbed his shoulder ruefully, and turning to me, said, "I'm sorry, Elsa."

My nostrils flared. "You should be. You could've killed them! They're not innocent either, but you didn't have to come flying at Roy like that."

His jaw clenched, and I thought he might actually respond, but instead, he simply nodded. Head hung low, Spencer left the scene and returned to our house. Instinctively, I followed. I was done with his behavior. I was done not knowing who he was to me. On my way, I told my family to take care of Roy and Paul. Anna, Dom, Caleb, and Lily followed me to the house, but before they could follow me inside, I turned around and said gently but firmly, "No. This is between us. I need to do this alone."

My family nodded, not putting up a fight. Closing the door, I stared up at the stairwell leading to the bedrooms. As I started forward, I heard Dom whisper, "Well, she's either going to kill him or screw him."

Anna hit him.