Fearing the unfathomable future is not fatal
until it becomes a formidable foe
The path ahead becoming fragile glass, tolerate it
by taking three steps back

Seeking solitude, savoring what isn't singularly sinful
until used under unnerving
moments, more and more and more
Old habits die hard, but haunting history dies harder

Not just a fear of the future, not just
an avoidance of the past, just
trapped in between, terrified to be seen

Guilt, it's guaranteed
Obsessing over and over and over
again, again, and again

Numb the noise, needing it, no
Not now, next time
Next time is now

Don't dare dance drunk during dusk, don't take
delight-disguised darkness, it destroys dreams
Consciousness contortion, dizzying distortions
Couldn't cope, can't call
Chest-heaving, crying, craving control

Fixation follows feverishly,
Fearing failing family, friends
Forever fantasizing fulfillment