˗ˏˋ straying eyes and unsteady hearts 'ˎ˗

➷

Amoli's fingers tighten on the strings of the paper bag, eyes nervously skirting the house number on the door even though she had clearly checked the address plate outside twice.

Her thoughts are bouncing like a ping-pong ball between how much she's missed Mahika even though it's barely been a few days since they saw each other in person, and how she's really standing at her door for the very first time. Her breath leaves her in a rush at the thought of ringing the doorbell, so she pauses, reaching inside her pocket to fish out her phone instead.

It takes her another moment to bring herself to not reconsider when she types out a text and hits send without giving it too much thought.

We've wasted far too much time that we could have spent together already, she thinks, and even though the reminder makes her cheeks feel hot, she refuses to discard the thought. It took a lot for her to accept it. There's no way she's going back to... whatever that mix of terrified and immature she used to be.

She hears soft thumps that sound like footsteps soon enough, and then there's a muffled thud followed by a very obvious noise of pain and Amoli feels the corners of her lips tug back in an amused smile.

And then the door opens and the amusement morphs into fondness.

God, Amoli couldn't hide it even if she wanted to.

Especially since she's always seen Mahika so... put together. Intimidatingly so.

The Mahika in front of her is wearing fluffy, bunny-eared house slippers and even softer pyjamas with starfishes on them. There's the beginning of a grin blooming on her face and her eyes are sparkling, and yeah, Amoli thinks, I couldn't hide the adoration on my face even if I tried.

All she wants to do is reach out, wrap her fingers around Mahika's dainty wrist and tug her into an embrace.

Oh, she can picture it so very perfectly inside her head. She is, already. Inside her head, Amoli is already bolder and has her cold nose tucked safely against the space that connects Mahika's neck and her shoulder. She breathes in that floral scent that she's grown so attached to, and locks her fingers together against the small of Mahika's back.

Inside Amoli's head, she would lean back and their faces would be close, so close that the tips of their noses brush together and if either of them moved an inch, their lips would touch.

"Hi," Mahika whispers and breaks Amoli out of her trance.

"Hi," she whispers back and tries to fight off the blush on her cheeks in vain. I missed you, she thinks because she's too afraid to say it out loud.

Maybe Mahika hears the slight breathlessness in Amoli's voice from just that one word of greeting, because her lips curve playfully, almost, and the tiny movement doesn't do anything to help extinguish the thoughts inside Amoli's head.

Honestly, Amoli's been thinking about kissing Mahika for entirely too long now. It's sad how often she thinks about it, really; how often she wonders if there was a way she could relive those kisses they shared under those warm hotel room lights without the haze of the alcohol. It's not that she doesn't feel the phantom touches of that day all over her skin whenever she thinks about it, but they're a little clouded by the happy, careless buzz of the champagne she had downed only minutes before.

She wants a different version of the memory ingrained on the very surface of her brain. She wants to go back, eliminate all traces of alcohol from their systems, and force them to take their time. She wants to feel every warm puff of air that makes its way past Mahika's lips against her face. She wants to tighten her arms around Mahika's tiny waist and allow the curves of their bodies to stand so close that their chests rise and fall together. She wants to take hold of the feeling of the cool press of Mahika's bloodstone ring against her cheek when Mahika had delicately held Amoli's face between her hands, and tuck it under her pillow so she can sleep with the memory forever.

More than anything, she wants to pull back and find a smile on Mahika's face.

"You still with me?" Mahika asks teasingly, breaking Amoli out of her thoughts yet again.

Amoli blinks a few times, praying that her cheeks haven't darkened more. Mahika is just leaning against the door now, staring down at Amoli with her lips pressed in a thin line. Probably to hold in a laugh.

"Um," Amoli says very eloquently.

And then Mahika does laugh. But then she also allows a little bit of shyness to seep into her expression when she holds out a hand for Amoli to take, and, "Come on in," she says, and Amoli hopes she isn't imagining the light dusting of pink on Mahika's cheeks under the hallway lights when Amoli curls her fingers around Mahika's.

She allows herself to be pulled inside, waiting for Mahika to close the door before she holds out the little bag for Mahika to take. "Homemade sweets," Amoli tells her with a shy little smile of her own. "My mother wouldn't let me leave the house without them."

Mahika looks absolutely delighted. Her eyes sparkle with childlike glee and crinkle at the corners when she thanks Amoli, and oh, Amoli realizes. She likes sweets. She's definitely going to keep that in mind.

It feels oddly settling to learn this tiny new piece of information about the other girl, and Amoli continues to smile to herself as Mahika begins pulling her along. She's so distracted by the warmth of Mahika's hand in hers that she doesn't even think to look around the house, let alone pull her hand away when they pass the living room and make their way to what Amoli assumes is Mahika's room.

Mahika announces Amoli's presence from the door to her two friends with, "Look what came in the mail."

Sakshi and Keerti both look up from their phones simultaneously, and Amoli offers them a meek wave with her free hand. Sakshi is the first one to react, her smile as friendly as ever as she gets to the edge of the bed on her knees and spreads her arms out in Amoli's general direction for a hug. Keerti gives her a smile and a wave in return.

Amoli tries not to look sullen when Mahika lets go of her hand so Amoli can greet them properly.

On the other hand, though, there's this voice at the back of her head. The one that usually reminds Amoli to keep herself in check. To watch out for any people that might be looking over before she even stands too close to Mahika. But today, that same voice sneakily tells her that she just walked into this room holding hands with the girl she likes more than she has ever liked anyone in her life, and neither of the other girls batted an eyelash.

But again, Amoli has seen how close Mahika, Keerti, and Sakshi are. So maybe, it just... doesn't feel out of place for them to give that kind of thing a second glance.

Sakshi keeps her hands on Amoli's shoulder even after pulling back, playfully shaking her back and forth. "How have you been?" she asks in a singsong voice, and Amoli is filled with a particular fondness that she has always associated with Sakshi; the reminder that she was, after all, the first person to befriend Amoli so effortlessly. Even with Amoli's tendency to distance herself from groups of people that already seem close because of how alien it makes her feel, Sakshi had... made it easier. Made her wonder if making friends wasn't as hard as she used to think. And that it's okay if she can't click with everyone right away.

Amoli isn't really all that close to people to tell if she has friends. But sometimes when she meets Mahika's friends, she feels like she could belong with them. Someday.

"I've been okay," Amoli replies, and then softly adds, "A little lonely, maybe, but I expected that much after living with Naina for a little while. Y'know?"

Sakshi nods in understanding. It's nice, Amoli thinks, to not have someone assume that she would be used to this since Akash has never been around much, and Arnav is the most outgoing person she knows.

Because God, it had ached somewhere deep inside her chest when Naina had brightened their house with her larger-than-life presence and then packed it all up to leave. Amoli had always, always wanted an older sister. Don't get her wrong, she loves her brothers. They mean the world to her, and she knows they feel the same way about her. But she was not only raised around two boys, she's also the middle child.

Let's just say that their protectiveness gets... a little out of hand sometimes.

And just because Akash has lived away from home for so long doesn't mean he has ever had any problem grilling Amoli with questions about her life. And Arnav pretends to be the 'cool', laidback brother, but Amoli isn't going to act like he doesn't stand by her side like a bodyguard when Akash stands on the other.

No, really, she loves them for it. If anything, with her hesitant nature, it had helped. A lot of people think they're the reason why Amoli grew up so detached from every social situation, but she wouldn't agree with them even if she was paid to.

But... but. It would have been nice to have another girl around. Somebody who understood her on a more personal level. She feels ungrateful every time she thinks about it, considering her brothers have always been so gentle and supportive of everything she does-stood by her every time she was too afraid to talk to her parents about something that bothered her, always understood her need to have her space whenever she explicitly asked for it-but it's always been something she can't bring herself to stop thinking about.

About how... nice it would have been. To have a sister. To just... have Naina closer, maybe.

"Do you guys want anything?" Mahika asks and breaks Amoli out of her reverie for what seems like the tenth time in the past twenty minutes. "I'm gonna get Amo something to drink."

Keerti makes a noise in the back of her throat, and then swivels in her chair to face Mahika, mug held out in her direction with a pleading expression on her face. "Can I please-"

"Not a chance," Mahika replies, cutting her off right away.

Keerti sniffs and spins back around, setting her mug back down to go back to work. "Worth a shot," she mutters, then sighs miserably. "Man, I could really use a shot of espresso right now."

Mahika scoffs in what sounds like disgust before leaving the room, while Sakshi just lets go of Amoli's shoulders to face Keerti with an appalled expression on her face. "This was your fourth mug today. Calm down before you start... I don't know, going off like a siren or something. I don't drink coffee. I don't know."

"Four mugs of coffee won't do that, Sak," Keerti says blankly.

Sakshi's brows come together in a frown. "So you're suggesting that there is an amount of caffeine that would?"

Keerti seems to actually think about it for a moment, and Amoli can't contain the amusement that spills past her lips in a giggle at their conversation. Sakshi shoots her a grin.

"I don't know," Keerti grumbles eventually, then adds loudly. "Not like Mahi would let me find out. Fuck Mahi, actually. Who decided she could be the boss of me, anyway?"

"I heard that!" The girl in question yells from what Amoli assumes is the kitchen.

"You were meant to!" Keerti calls back, and by now, Sakshi is groaning at their antics and falling back on the bed with an arm thrown over her eyes. "Fuck you, Mahi!"

"What the hell? Fuck you, too!"

Amoli laughs again and shakes her head before stepping back. "I'm gonna go help. I feel bad just standing around."

Sakshi takes her arm off to expose one eye. Stares Amoli down with it. "Are you trying to make us feel bad?"

Blinking a few times to process the words, followed by her mouth parting a little in surprise, Amoli rushes to say, "Oh, oh, that's not what I-"

"She's messing with you," Keerti cuts her off, turning to give Sakshi a look. "You're the worst person I've ever been friends with."

The two of them launch into a round of what seems like regular bickering, and Amoli steps back some more until she's out of the door, slowly shaking her head to herself again. Not a single dull moment with them, she thinks.

Amoli looks around a little, twiddling her fingers in front of her as she follows the sound of the low clattering coming from down the hall. She finds Mahika popping open a bottle of juice, and hesitates only a little when she steps inside, announcing her presence with a soft, "Hey." She spots her box of sweets now taken out of the bag and carefully sitting on one of the shelves.

"Oh, hey?" Mahika looks over her shoulder to give her a smile before turning back around. "I was just going to ask you if you wanted something to eat? We're about to get lunch in a little bit, so I wasn't sure."

"Just juice is fine," Amoli assures, pointing at the two bottles. One is pineapple, the other orange. Amoli wonders if Mahika opened the pineapple one specifically for her, and blushes a little at the thought. "Anything I can do to help?"

Mahika opens her mouth but then closes it, seeming to reconsider something. Amoli is about to ask her what it is when Mahika abruptly turns and takes a step closer in Amoli's direction, making her eyes grow into the size of saucers. She instinctively takes a step back and feels the edge of the counter dig slightly into her waist.

"What-"

When Mahika's hand reaches out, Amoli freezes in place.

Only to sag in embarrassment when Mahika's hand goes straight past her face and picks something off the rack hook.

"The cutter," Mahika murmurs, blinking down innocently at Amoli's still-unmoving form. "For the seals."

Amoli feels herself blush all the way to the tops of her ears. "Um. Oh." Out of habit, she reaches up to cup her cheeks to hide the dusting of pink across her skin but then thinks better and drops her hands back down after tucking her hair behind her ear, assuming it's only going to make the embarrassed flush on her face more obvious.

The realization seems to dawn on her only a moment later, though, and she snaps her head back up to look at Mahika, eyes narrowing when she spots a half-smile on the other girl's face. She looks at the bottles, and then back at Mahika's face.

"Were they... not already open?" Amoli asks with a tilt of her head, and Mahika just shrugs.

Amoli's eyes widen again, jaw dropping slightly. She pretends to recover quickly, even though her stomach is swarmed with uncontrollable butterflies. "You-" She stops and folds her arms across her chest, letting out a scoff.

Although she can only imagine how weak her defense looks with the ridiculous blush on her face.

She settles with a half-hearted, "I really hate you, you know."

Mahika hums, meeting Amoli's eyes for a split second. She looks away, but Amoli could swear she sees that smile grow wider before she does.

Pouring one single glass of pineapple juice alongside the three orange ones, she slides it in Amoli's direction with her eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Sure you do," she says. Lightly tweaks the tip of Amoli's nose.

And then she just picks up the tray of juice she had arranged for herself and her friends and leaves the kitchen.

Amoli thinks about the words, If we're going to spend more time together, you're probably going to have to get used to the fact that I'll tease you. A lot, and buries her face in her hands with a groan.

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a/n

i LOVE writing amoli's pov so so much bec she's just . so obvious about her fondness for ppl she's close to, u know? idk how to explain but it feels very warm to work on building all of that up

anyways i've been working on this chapter since 8 in the morning (i started when i was in the middle of a meeting ajshkjsf) and it's past 11 pm and . i have not had the chance to proofread it </3 i will come back to do it, i promise

thank you so ! much ! for reading !

working on this book gives me a ridiculous amount of serotonin and although the freezing cold has put me in utter misery, today was fine solely bec i got to write so much after So Long :') mwah i hope u r all taking care of yourselves <3

i will see u again soon x