˗ˏˋ spontaneous plans and definite rejections 'ˎ˗

➷

A deep, exhausted sigh makes its way past Mahika's lips right as the door clicks shut behind her.

Her eyes fall close right as she drops her keys in the bowl, leaning her back against the door. This kind of day is the norm, really. But there's something about today that she can't quite pinpoint, something that has left her a little more tired than usual.

She heaves another sigh and makes her way in, all the while massaging the back of her neck, after lazily kicking her sneakers off — internally thanking Mahika from the morning on making a good call because she doesn't know how she would have survived if she had decided to spend her day in heels — and drops her purse on the couch. She revels in the way the soft, plush carpet feels against her aching skin.

Like always, she has to resist the urge to sink down on the carpet, a faint smile on her lips as she thinks about the face her mother would make every time Mahika did exactly that. The thought of her mother makes her reach inside her purse so she can pull out her phone to check up on her.

When her mother's phone rings and then goes straight to voicemail, she glances at the clock and furrows her brows. It's not that late. Deciding not to think much of it, she just settles with a simple text to ask her if she has been eating and resting enough and hopes she gets back to Mahika soon.

She knows for a fact that the woman isn't asleep. She's probably busy.

Then again, Mahika doesn't remember a time when she wasn't.

It's why Mahika too, has a job even though she knows it takes a toll on her, taking into account all of the work she already has to deal with for college.

Her mother not being home so often had made her feel lonelier than she has ever admitted out loud. Times like this, she really wishes she wasn't an only child. Maybe then, it'd feel a little less lonely at home.

Eventually — and luckily — she had found a job at a local design firm almost a year ago out of sheer loneliness, and she happens to actually like it there. Her coworkers are some of the sweetest people ever, the environment of the workplace is warm and welcoming, and Mahika doesn't feel like a sad, useless vegetable lying at home.

She drops her phone back on the couch and it bounces once before falling between the corner of the couch and a little cushion, before tipping her head backwards to rest it against the back pillow. When she closes her eyes for a few seconds and opens them again, an odd glumness fills her chest. The light on the ceiling isn't helping either, so she closes her eyes again.

It's not long before the silence of the room gets a little too loud, and she chooses to leave the room with a dejected sigh, taking hold of her sweat-damp shirt and fanning it to let the cool air through.

When she steps into the shower, she thinks about how her mother would shake her head at Mahika from the living room if she was home, because this is her third shower of the day.

It's when she tips her face back and takes hold of her hair to keep it from getting under the water that Mahika's head takes another dip down the river of memories from the night before.

She had been able to avoid thinking about it again since the moment in the café, but every time, every time she closes her eyes, she feels like she's being haunted by the reminiscences all over again. And each time, the level of intensity with which she gets hit by a memory keeps rising.

The idea that there's a good chance she's the only one feeling like this makes her chest tighten with lack of air. The thought that while she still feels like she's right there in that room even though she was intoxicated out of her mind serves as a reminder of just how far gone she is. Every time she lets her mind wander, she can feel her airway being embraced by Amoli's soft, feminine scent. The tips of Amoli's cold nails touch Mahika's cheeks all over again. Her name being echoed in a soft whisper rings in her ears, and sweet nothings leave her parted lips in a voice so soft they sound like prayers.

She barely manages to turn the knob of the shower off, goosebumps lining her trembling skin. Just a small movement of her head and she meets her own eyes in the mirror, slightly red after the abuse of the running water.

Maybe there's something about that moment; the slow, aching recollections. The loneliness. The silence aside from the sound of her breaths bouncing off the tiles of the bathroom. She doesn't know. But she feels a sting behind her eyes that she doesn't want to.

There's one thing in the world that Mahika hates more than anything, and it's crying.

Her mouth parts and a shaky breath echoes in the bathroom just as she takes a step back to rest her back, and then eventually her head against the cold, wet wall under the shower. Almost immediately, her nose gets stuffy and she lets out an annoyed groan despite how tight her throat feels. This. This is why she hates crying.

Not only does she feel uglier than ever when she cries, she also feels achy and disgusting.

God, what a mess, she thinks, hastily wiping the tears and drops of cold water off her face.

She's staring at the wall in front of her and internally counting down days until she gets her period. Because maybe she is PMSing, after all.

It takes her a few more moments to gather herself before she steps out of the shower in her bathrobe, reddened cheeks greeted by the cool air of the house. Her jaw loses some of the stiffness in it and her shoulders slump, but before she can dwell on how tired she really is, she hears the sound of her phone ringing.

And... oh.

Her feet move on their own accord when she makes her way into the living room, looking around in a hurry for her phone. The faint light and the muffled sound comes from the corner of the couch, and she basically pounces for it.

Eyes going over the caller ID too quick to register who it is, she picks up.

"Mahiii," draws her best friend, managing to deflate and inspirit her at the same time. "My love, my life, my first wife."

It has been a total of one day since Naina's wedding. But only upon hearing her voice does Mahika realize how much she's missing the other girl already. A smile makes its way onto her lips as if a natural reaction to the colossal presence that is of Naina Singh.

"You don't have a second wife."

"Ah, sunshine, but I do have a husband."

Mahika lets out a dramatic gasp, already able to make out the grin in Naina's voice. "Salt on the wound, ma'am. Careful. It's still fresh."

Naina giggles on the other end, and Mahika's heart swells at the pure happiness that radiates from the girl even through the phone.

"I sure have left a trail of devastated lovers in my wake," Naina jokes, laughing that tinkly, pleasant laugh of hers again and Mahika almost says, God, you have no idea, do you?

Her mind drifts off to Dhruv, his big eyes watching Naina holding hands with her to-be husband in front of their friends for the very first time two years ago, and Mahika immediately grimaces. She's glad Naina can't see her face.

"I would know," she replies after a beat, rolling her eyes and plopping down on the couch. Suddenly, her mood is way better than it was just a few minutes ago and, Naina's impact, she thinks. This is how it has always been.

"Aw, baby, you'll always be my number one. I like my husband for now but if this doesn't work out, you know who I'm running to." Mahika barely makes out Akash's laugh in the background, followed by the words, "You're the worst."

Mahika smiles despite herself. As wretched as she feels on Dhruv's behalf, she knows Akash is a good guy. She couldn't hate him even if she tried.

"Okay, dramatics aside, I actually called you to let you know that we're Skyping in 15. I already talked to everyone else but figured you'd be at work so I called you last."

"Really feeling the love here," Mahika says, deadpan. She's joking, but Dhruv's expression is instilled at the back of her mind. She bites her lip and makes her way to her room, where her laptop is.

"Yeah, yeah," Naina drawls, probably rolling her eyes. "You'll get over it." Mahika hums distractedly as she watches her laptop switch on. "But seriously, you're not busy right now?"

"I'm always busy," Mahika replies, and Naina snorts on the other end.

"Well, I'm sure you can make time for your best friend."

"For Dhruv? Always."

Naina lets out a theatrical gasp. "He's taken my place already?"

"It's always been his. Surprise, surprise."

While Naina goes on a bombast of how she's more deserving of the title, Mahika tucks her phone between her ear and her shoulder and hunches over her laptop to shoot Dhruv a quick text.

you okay? :(

He sees the text immediately, the speech bubbles already appearing a second after.

Yeah. Might as well get used to it.

-

Their hangout on Skype that ends up happening thirty minutes later, courtesy of Sakshi's tendency to be late to everything, looks more like an out-of-control kindergarten class with no teacher to watch over them.

Samay is just screaming like a banshee, Dhruv looks like he's about to murder him (which is possible quite literally, since they live together), Sakshi and Naina are heckling over Sakshi missing her wedding, and Keerti...

"No, why the fuck are you eating corn puffs with a fork?" Mahika exclaims, blinking at the screen at Keerti who's sitting comfortably on her bed with a giant snack bowl filled to the brim. "Why is no one else questioning this? Am I the only one who can see her? That's just... wrong on so many levels."

"It's Keerti," Dhruv says without much emotion in his voice, as if that's supposed to explain everything. His round glasses are perched on his nose — a rare sight — and his hair's sticking out in several places, which means he was probably taking a nap when Naina called.

"It's cause," Keerti begins to explain, mouth full of corn puffs, "I don't want the dust to get on my hands." Dhruv groans, disgusted, his fingers slipping behind his glasses to press over his eyes. Keeri doesn't care, though. "It gets everywhere. The fork is convenient. You guys should be learning from me instead of berating me."

"I think we're gonna stick with the berating, thanks."

"Fuck you, Dhruv. Stay uneducated."

He sticks out his thumb without looking at the screen.

"Wow it's almost like we got distracted from the original reason why we were here," Samay comments loudly and Keerti snorts.

Dhruv straightens up in his seat. "Yeah, I'm not missing on important stuff because of this call at all."

"Dude, you were sleeping."

A pillow appears in Dhruv's frame when he plucks it from somewhere beside him, and then flying into Samay's when it smacks him in the face.

"This is the only good thing about being roommates with him," Dhruv says at the screen, his smile sugary-sweet before Samay disappears from his own frame and appears on Dhruv's with the pillow again.

Mahika sighs when both the boys laugh loudly, Dhruv trying to dodge Samay's attacks to no avail. "This is a mess."

Keerti shoves another forkful of corn puffs inside her mouth. "When is it not?"

Naina claps her hands together. "Okay, okay, stop."

It takes a few minutes for everyone to settle down — again, they aren't all that much different from kindergarteners — but they eventually do, waiting for Naina to continue. She inhales and brings her joined hands to her cheek, eyes twinkling even through the screen.

"You guys have a week and a half long break after the semester, right?" Affirmative hums follow her question. She grins eagerly, looking like she can barely hold herself from bursting. "Well, I asked Akash if we could all get together to spend some time in his family's cottage in Gaigar so I can get absolutely sick of your stupid asses before I move. That way, maybe I won't miss y'all too much."

Samay is squinting at the screen. "It was like, heartwarming at first? And then it just went downhill."

Keerti tosses a corn puff at the screen and then picks it up to pop it into her mouth. "Shut up, this is actually a really good idea."

"Yeah," Dhruv agrees. "But I'm probably out because I'm spending this break with my parents." Naina's face falls and she opens her mouth to probably try and convince him, but Dhruv raises a hand to stop her. "I know you'll end up getting me onboard somehow, so let me stop you right there." She closes her mouth and sits back with a huff, arms crossed. "The trip honestly sounds great but it's the first time in years that my dad is going to not be at work for once during my break. And Tara's coming home in a week."

Dhruv's sister, who's in high school, isn't around all that often because of her boarding school, and Mahika knows how much it means to Dhruv for his family to get along and spend time together once in a while.

Even though he hasn't said it himself, Mahika knows he probably would have found another reason to not come with them if it wasn't for this one. She has been friends with Dhruv since they were ten. When he needs space, he takes it any way he can.

Naina looks like she's going to cry. Everyone else is silent when she finally takes in a shaky breath and raises a threatening finger at him. "Fine. But you're coming to see me at the airport when I leave."

Dhruv smiles at her, and everyone except Naina sees him subtly swallow back the lump in his throat before he says, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Mahika's phone pings right that second, distracting her from the rest of the conversation. She blinks and then frowns, reaching for the device to see if she finally got a text back from her mom.

She does have a text, except it's not from her mother.

It's an unsaved number, but Mahika knows without a doubt who it is.

Please don't tell anyone about last night, the message says, and Mahika feels a sting that starts from the center of her chest, and runs down her veins like pins and needles. I wasn't going to, she wants to send back but there's another ping that Mahika is afraid to check.

But it's right there. And she couldn't avoid the words even if she wanted to.

That was a mistake, reads the next one, and Mahika's vision has already blurred too much to see the last text.

The one that says, I'm sorry.

➷

a/n

how we feeling, dhruv nation?

this chapter came out very easily because i'm super SUPER excited for everything that's going to happen from here hehe. HEHE.

thank you so much for reading! pls tell me about your day. or anything you want. i like talking to you guys :<

and take care! until next time <3