˗ˏˋ evening glows and change of plans 'ˎ˗

➷

With her hands on her hips, Amoli looks around her shared room with Sakshi.

It feels oddly empty now that she too, has packed most of her stuff since they're leaving tomorrow, a frown taking upon her features when she realizes that by this time tomorrow, she won't be here.

She'll be at home, surrounded by the familiar walls of her room that once made her feel safe but now make her feel the exact opposite, desperately longing for another break from University.

Not to mention, the idea of having to part with everyone else after spending so many days with them leaves a bad taste in her mouth. When she was on her way here, she hadn't even expected herself to get used to them so quickly, let alone so attached.

The longer she stands there, the heavier her heart seems to get. So with a sigh, she ties her hair on top of her head in a messy bun and walks out, softly shutting the door behind her. When the low sound seems to echo in the empty house, her eyebrows knit together. Maybe, just maybe, she's beginning to regret staying back today.

Since it was their last day here, Akash had suggested that they go on a drive instead of choosing a spot to go to. As lovely as the idea had sounded, Amoli had woken up and felt her exhaustion from the past days in her bones. So she had stayed back.

But now the house feels a little too bare.

Feeling a little too aimless as soon as she makes her way down the stairs, she ends up in the kitchen to make herself some tea. Maybe it's just to give her hands something to work with, but it's a start. The thought that she barely ever sets a foot inside the kitchen back at home crosses her mind, and she shakes her head. Courtesy of her parents' tendency to spoil their children and not letting them do anything by their own hands inside the house might have contributed to why Amoli feels so purposeless right now.

They had always been the type to tell her, and her brothers, of course, to 'focus on school'. And although Amoli had secretly appreciated—maybe even enjoyed—not having to do anything except study when she was a teenager, she doesn't feel the same way anymore. If anything, she regrets not pushing her mother to let her out of the academic bubble she had trapped herself in.

Somewhere in the midst of her introverted ways, she had ended up isolating herself instead. And now she doesn't know how to undo it. To top it off, now that she has gotten a view of life through the eyes of someone who is always surrounded by people who care about each other, she doesn't know how she's going to be okay on her own anymore.

With another sigh and an internal, Stop thinking about it, she leans against the wall while waiting for the water to boil, eyes involuntarily going towards the window to stare outside.

Since the window directly faces the garden, Amoli's eyes fall on the swing, and panic hits her chest at breakneck speed when she sees someone sitting there.

Audibly gasping in fright and setting a hand over her now-racing heart, she closes her eyes and lets out a breathless little, "God", leaning against the wall for support. She had assumed she was the only one who had stayed back but obviously she was wrong.

And of course, out of everyone, it had to be Mahika.

Hand still pressed against her chest, Amoli looks out of the window again, wondering if she should just pretend like she didn't see Mahika and go back to her room. That would be the sensible thing to do, considering she had promised the girl that she would give her space.

Taking the logical way would be easier. Pouring her tea into a mug and soundlessly making her way back upstairs until everyone comes back would be easier. Keeping the promise she had made after talking to Mahika the other day would be way, way easier.

Except... Amoli doesn't want to do that.

For once, she's tired of being reasonable. Sick of going for rational ways when she could just create a staircase out of everything that scares her, climb to the very top of it, and leap for what makes her happy.

If something as simple as sitting on the swing beside Mahika in the cottage garden feels like home, then why can't she do it? Why is it that she overthinks whether or not she can talk to Mahika like a normal person even when breathing around her feels easier? And most of all, how has Amoli been holding herself back from wanting to be in Mahika's presence every second of the day during the entire time she has known her?

One glance. One more glance outside the window where she catches Mahika pulling her legs up and crossing them under her, head tipping back so she can stare at the sky, and Amoli finds herself pouring tea in two little separate cups instead of the mug that was sitting ready on the counter.

She makes her way out before her mind can pick the cowardly way and force her to stay back, almost immediately catching the other girl's attention as soon as she opens the door to the garden.

And although Amoli has told herself that she's slowly getting used to the way her heart seems to stutter and then restart at the mere sight of Mahika, she still feels her breath hitch in her throat and her steps falter as soon as Mahika's turns to look at her, the side of her face illuminated by the setting sun. Amoli softens further at the sight of her in a dark hoodie that seems a bit too big on her. Be still, my heart.

Amoli didn't really know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't the little smile that Mahika passed her way, followed by her index finger pointing at the extra cup in Amoli's hand. "Is that for me?"

"No," Amoli replies playfully—even though all she can think about doing right now is sit beside Mahika and stare at the way the sun casts an orange glow on her face forever—gesturing in the direction of the flowers with her chin just as she stops in front of the swing. "The marigolds over there wanted their evening tea."

Mahika rolls her eyes, but the corners of her lips are pulled up in the slightest, clearly amused. Thank God, Amoli thinks, pushing away the beginning of the regret she could feel licking at the inside of her head as soon as she had made the joke.

She hands the cup over to Mahika, trying to keep her smile intact even as a nervous prickle washes over her skin as soon as Mahika pats the space beside herself without moving away to leave added space between them.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Amoli asks just to make sure, shyly sitting down when Mahika nods her head. Even though she tries to sit as close to the end of the swing, their legs touch slightly anyway. She pretends to not notice. "I didn't know you stayed back. I almost had a heart attack when I saw you from the kitchen."

Speaking of heart attacks, Amoli almost has another one when Mahika, without missing a beat, says, "I found out you weren't going so I didn't feel like it either."

Amoli is very, very thankful she hadn't put the rim of her cup to her lips yet, because she's sure she would have sputtered in surprise. Her head snaps in Mahika's direction, eyes wider than saucers.

Amusement shines through the cracks in Mahika's straight expression at Amoli's reaction. "I'm kidding," she says, taking a sip of her tea. "This is really good." She takes another, and closes her eyes, making a show of enjoying the taste. Amoli looks away to hide her smile. Then, "My cramps actually got really bad so I popped in a painkiller and fell asleep. Naina already knew how I was feeling so they didn't wake me up."

She doesn't look like she minds, but Amoli asks either way, "Is that what's got you sighing at the sky?"

"Hm," she drawls. "Not really."

"Oh?" Amoli wraps both of her hands around her cup. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Mahika looks at her with her eyebrows raised, but Amoli stares at her cluelessly, so she just looks away with a little chuckle and a shake of her head. "Let's see." She tilts her head to one side as if considering it. "There's this girl..."

"Okay," Amoli interrupts and holds her hand up, immediately making Mahika throw her head back and laugh. "I get it. Okay. I shouldn't have asked."

"What else would be on my mind, hm?" Then Mahika's voice gets a little quieter as she adds, "It's all I've been able to think about, after all."

Amoli lowers her eyes, hands tightening around the cup. "Me too."

"I just..." Mahika pauses, and when Amoli glances her, she sees her shrug weakly. "I didn't think we'd get... to this point, you know?" She looks at Amoli's face with uncertain eyes.

Amoli nods, smiling weakly before she looks away. "Both of us assumed this was one sided."

"Yeah," Mahika whispers, leaning back. She takes another pause before she adds, "And now that it's... I don't know, out there? In the open? I don't know what to do." Me neither, Amoli thinks. At least we're both clueless together. "I never thought this far."

Drumming her fingernails on the porcelain, Amoli takes a moment to put her thoughts into words properly. She can't say the wrong thing right now. There's no way she can say the wrong thing right now, of all times. So even though she's just as afraid and clueless as the girl sitting beside her, she takes her time before she finally speaks.

"You know we don't have to start—" She pauses with a hitch in her breath, because God it feels weird to say the word 'dating' out loud. What the hell do I know about going out with someone? I've never liked anyone before this. "We can just... hang out. Together. Like... get to know each other or something before we uh, think about more?" Why is this so awkward? She shrugs, the gesture looking as stilted as she feels. "We don't have to dive headfirst into anything."

She isn't looking up so she doesn't notice the mischievous smile on Mahika's face. She just hears her voice when she says, "Are you suggesting that we try being friends again, Amoli?"

And Amoli freezes in place, because she remembers exactly what happened the last time she suggested that. Fumbling with her cup and her words, she manages to get out a, "T-That's not—" She pauses again, going over the words she said just a few seconds ago, only to come to the conclusion that it's exactly what they sounded like. "No." At the sound of Mahika's chiming laughter, she relaxes immediately, shoulders sagging in relief before she looks up.

"I know what you meant," Mahika assures, voice soft despite the amused smile still evident in it. "And that actually sounds nice."

When she had wanted to be friends with Mahika before, it had been a full stop. The beginning to the process of settling with the fact that there wasn't anything more between them, and there wasn't going to be.

But this time, Amoli is holding out her hand with the hope of more. With the unspoken, hushed promise that there is no need for them to put a label to their relationship until they're completely comfortable with each other.

"Do you think we could do that?" Amoli asks softly, aware that there's hope shining through her gaze when she looks Mahika in the eye.

A quirk to one corner of her lips, Mahika says, "I thought you were going to give me more time to think about it."

Cheeks flushing immediately, Amoli quickly looks away.

It hadn't been her intention to push Mahika to make a decision. And she truly is willing to wait for her. For as long as she has to. 

But maybe the way I worked things just now made it seem like—

"Hey."

Amoli looks up, hesitant.

"If we're going to spend more time together, you're probably going to have to get used to the fact that I'll tease you. A lot."

Sighing in relief and then looking up with a mock-glare, Amoli shoves Mahika's legs with her own. The latter chuckles, shoving her legs right back.

"I'm beginning to reconsider this already," Amoli jokes.

Mahika grins at her in reply, and Amoli has to tell her heart to stay still yet again. If I keep reacting to the little things that she does like this all the time, I'm going to ruin everything even before it begins.

"Have you ever thought about what it would be like if we had ended up becoming friends when we first met?"

Mahika releases a breath through her nose, and then laughs once. "Oh, boy. Loads of times."

"That... would have been really weird. I think."

"Honestly? I don't know. Maybe it would have been easier for us to tell how we felt about each other if we were together a little bit more."

Amoli thinks about it, but she can't bring herself to a definite conclusion. "I think it was easier to deal with how I felt since I was so sure that you would never feel the same way."

After a second, Mahika hums at her words. "There's that." Then she shoves at Amoli's legs again, this time very gently before she adds, "Guess we'll never know for sure."

"Mhm. Guess even if things were a bit messy, we did get here, after all."

"Oh, that depends."

Amoli looks at her. "On what?"

"Hm..." Mahika pretends to think, and then looks at Amoli with a teasing glint in her eye. "Whether or not I can hold your hand while we 'hang out'." She emphasizes the last two words with bunny ears by crooking her fingers in the air, drawing Amoli's attention to her nails that she had painted only a few days ago.

Trying not to smile, Amoli leans forward and then back. "That sounds very scandalous for two people who aren't dating." There. I said it. Then she pretends to think as well, tapping her temple and everything. "I would reconsider on one condition, though."

"And what might that be?"

Amoli side-eyes her, holding back a smile. "I get to call you Mahi."

Letting out a dramatic sigh, Mahika leans back and folds her arms across her chest. "Fine."

"What was that? I don't think I caught what you said."

"I said fine." Amoli finally lets a smile break across her features at the words. "I guess I could allow that," Mahika says in a tone that makes it sound like she's exasperated, but the way she reaches out and slides her fingers between the gaps of Amoli's tells her otherwise.

"I didn't say you could do it right away," Amoli jokes, acting like warm tingles aren't going up her arm right this second and spreading across her chest as they speak. No way. She's fine. There aren't any goosebumps hiding under the sleeve of her shirt at all.

"You can call me Mahi and make it even."

Amoli just throws her head back and laughs. 

➷

a/n

this chapter took me embarrassingly long to write. now there are several reasons for it, except i really don't want to bore you guys with them. but please know that i'm not doing the best right now, which is going to slow the updates down for a little bit until i can recover and get back on schedule. 

writing this book still brings me an insane amount of joy, so i'm going to try my hardest to stay as active as i can possibly be.

thank you so, so much for all the love y'all give me on this story <3

i hope you're all doing well! let me know about your day if you want :D

until next time x