I scurried back to my room, shaking with each step. I shut the door once I was inside and curled up into a pathetic ball in the darkest corner.

I felt like crying, but I could not find a single tear to shed. It was probably another side affect of being a terrified thrall.

The curse was terrible, but it was also strange. My emotions were completely out of whack with reality. I believe everyone has days when their fears are not quite rational, but this was well beyond that.

After an eternity of trembling limbo, I looked across the floor towards where my backpack was sitting.  Someone had clearly placed it there for me. It was mine, full of my things.

It was a no brainer. It all belonged to me, even if nothing else in these lands did. Even if my false pack had true authority over me, they had chosen to put it in plain sight in the room I had been assigned. I was clearly allowed to have access to my own things.

There was no good reason that I should not simply stand up, go over and see what was inside. The only thing stopping me was the terror that rushed through every cell at the thought.

If I had been normal and simply visiting this place, I would have already taken out and organized the things I needed.

It was only the fear which stopped me.

This fear was not my own.

I closed my eyes. How was I going to live like this?

I shook.

Cowering in the corner was not helping me.  I was terrified regardless, so I might as well try to act like I knew I normally would.

I could not bring myself to stand up, so I skittered across the floor slowly like a crab. In the back of my mind I knew I looked ridiculous, but there were things at stake which were more important than my dignity.

I made it to my backpack. I could feel my heart pounding as if I were about to confront a monster. A terrifying black monster complete with pink trim and straps. If I could defeat this beast it would spill its guts before me. Its disgusting innards were probably mostly composed of my clothing and toiletries.

I shuddered. I wish it had been sarcastic flare, but I truly shuddered at my silly flight of fancy. Apparently the curse wanted to even forbid my ridiculous imaginings.

I reached one trembling finger out and touched the familiar material of the bag. I wanted to withdraw my hand, but I forced it to stay in place. I could feel the magical shivers of fear radiating from my digit.

Instead of drawing back like the magic screamed, I moved my hand to the buckle. It took me three tries to find enough pressure to release it, but I did it.

I felt a surge of triumph that pushed back my fear for a moment and it was a sweet relief. I exhaled and used my momentum to pull open the bag. I could see that someone had packed me clothing as I had guessed. I could see a pair of jeans and a pair of pajama pants.

Holding my breath as if to suppress my panic, I pulled them out of the bag in turn and placed them on the bed. I continued the slow process until everything was out of the main pouch of my backpack and neatly placed in a row on the grey spread.

Then I turned my attention to the smaller pouches and went through the same agony again.

I did not let myself stop until I was done and my backpack was entirely empty. From my vantage point on the floor I could see what someone had thought I would need. I swallowed.

I could see all the practical stuff, two pairs of pants, several tank tops, two t-shirts with witty sayings, a warm hoodie, my comfiest pajama pants and pajama top, a few bras and underwear and socks.

I realized that whoever had packed my things had apparently taken the time to pick out my plainest and ugliest pairs. Neither my dad nor brother would have dared to do that themselves, but I could easily imagine my dad begging my stepmom to do it. My amusement almost overtook my fear for a second.

Yeah, the mysterious packer had probably been Moramay, I decided as I looked at the standard toiletries and the unopened pack of feminine products. It was everything I needed to keep myself feeling human.

There were a few non practical things, too. I spotted a couple of new books, a new notebook and an unopened pack of pens, my mp3 player along with the charger and three pairs of headphones, and my pink and green stuffed lizard.

I pulled Lizzy off the bed and looked at the lizard closely. I probably could have cried if my dread was not overwhelming my sorrow.

I had dragged this thing everywhere when I was little. If I looked closely at the seams I could still see the many times my mom had carefully patched her up.

I usually kept this old toy on the shelf in my room now, but I guess someone had figured I needed the comfort. I felt a rush of sadness and misery before the fear flooded over it.

I may have discovered the sole upside of this terrible curse. As I hugged Lizzy I was flooded with memories of my family and especially my mother. I realized it did not hurt as much to think about her when I was so afraid I could barely feel anything else.

I squeezed my lizard tighter and closed my eyes. I huddled on the floor beside the bed until I started to doze.

* * * * * * * * *

A knock on the door brought me out of my half sleep. I looked at the mess I had made on the bed and I felt sheer terror consume me at what I had done.

Rationally I could tell myself that no one would be upset I had started to unpack, but I could not escape the pounding fear that I was about to be punished. Worse, the magic taunted me that I actually deserved it.

A second series of gentle knocks sounded. I tried to frantically stuff some of my things back in the backpack, but it was obvious I could not clean up fast enough to hide my trespass. I gave up and retreated to my corner. It looked even worse now that I tried to clean up. I hid my face as the door opened.

"Elise?" It was Karen again.

I held my breath while my body waited for her recriminations.

"You started unpacking?"

I tried to agree, but it was more like an unintelligible sound I might have made in my wolf form.

I heard her come over. Her voice was close; she must have crouched on the floor beside me although I did not dare check. "That's good. We want you to fight the magic."

I sneaked a peek at her feet. She was not wearing shoes over her black and green striped socks. I could see she was sitting up against the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. I almost made it to her sides before my eyes closed on their own to escape the sight of her.

"I've been working to figure out how to help you, along with a lot of other people. We want to get rid of this magic entirely of course, but in the meantime my main goal is to try to help make this easier for you. I'm going to try anything that might work."

I thought she wanted me to answer so I nodded.

"I've noticed you seem to have an easier time talking to your family and friends. I don't know if that's because you know them well or because they aren't Serge's people, but I figure we might as well get to know each other better."

I nodded again because doing nothing made my anxiety mount.

"I can see you have trouble speaking to me, so I just want you to listen for now and I'll introduce myself. I already told you my name is Karen and that Serge asked me to help him with you. Truly, though, I would have wanted to help you even if he had not asked me."

I waited quietly.

"So, you clearly already know of Serge. I'm guessing he's probably not your favorite person right now," she commented with a little laugh.

She could not know that the very thought of criticizing Serge sent ripples of magic terror through me.

"I don't know how aware you are of the battles we've been having with the eastern wolves, but between our three packs we've only got a little more than three hundred fighters. Our leaders have ensured that they recognize each other, even if they don't know each other well. I'm sure you're aware of that."

She paused as of thinking of what to tell me next.  I waited.

"Serge hasn't talked about what happened much, but I do know at first glance he thought you were one of the eastern wolves and he attacked when he thought you were going for Dan."

I had heard most of that during my whimpering and cowering.

"He definitely intended to kill you. I can't imagine what went through his mind, but something made him switch to the curse instead. I suppose you're the only one who could say if it was better or not."

Would death have been better than the cage of fear in which I was now confined? It depended on the unlikely event that a way to break the curse was found, I supposed.

"It probably seems he's a careless leader, but doing something like this is completely unlike him. If someone had told me Serge would punish an innocent with this magic, I would never have believed them before I saw it with my own eyes."

She truly did sound bewildered and everything I could recall hearing of him in passing supported her words.

"I know this doesn't excuse what he did, but I promise you he's beating himself up over it."

Words slipped out of my mouth, but I did not even know if it was me or the magic or some inseparable combination that formed them. "I don't want h-h-him to beat h-himself up."

"I could tell him that for you, but it would probably only make him feel worse."

I shivered.

She changed the subject. "So, Dan is Serge's second in command. He was the one who sat in front of you in the car on the way here."

I remembered people I could not see getting into the car and the resounding noise of the doors closing me in, the grim finality of the reverberations.

"He actually was named second before Serge's father died and Serge kept him on.  Also, I should probably mention Dan is my husband. We've got three kids, twelve, eight and six. Our girl is our middle child with boys on either side. My cousin is keeping an eye on them while I'm helping you, but they're pretty self sufficient already. They do want to meet you, but I don't want you to be overwhelmed too soon. Do you think it would be better to have more of our pack around?"

I shook my head as emphatically as I could manage considering the icy magic surge at the betrayal inherent in my response. I was not supposed to want to keep those terrifying people away. I could feel I was shaking again.

Karen apparently noticed my reaction. "I think that's enough for now. Serge had this room emptied before we arrived so that you could make it your own. Could I help you put your things away?"

I wished I could assure her I could do it myself, but I did not know. I nodded my assent and I steeled myself to begin the monumental task of facing my absurd magical fears.

* * * * * * * * *