Serge's words echoed in the night air around us.

My heart beat with the same rapidity it did when I woke from my nightmares each morning, but I was not feeling fear, or at least not just fear. I barely spared my pounding heart a thought while I tried to comprehend his words, to process what it was that he had asked me.

I forced my gaze towards the one who had harmed me and protected me, my master, my pack leader, my roommate, my non-hostile ally, my fellow traveller in a world forever altered by the curse.

I glanced at into the eyes made dark by the shadows around us, while my mind still tried to sort his the sounds that had come out of his mouth into something a human would propose.

Because Serge could not have just said what I thought I had heard. "Would you consider marrying me?" he had asked.

The honest first response of my scattered thoughts was, "Yes."

I turned my burning eyes away as I tried to gather my thoughts. I ignored the way my heart pounded and the way the curse brushed over my skin and dove down into my body, washing me in cold.

My motives for considering agreement were far from pure. I wanted a way out of the curse and it knew that. I did not want Serge to die an untimely death and I did not want to wait sixty years or for some unlikely scenario where I could save his life.

His question was a life preserver. I was drowning and I was not feeling particularly picky.

Yet still, I knew he was driven by his guilt. It was clear he would sacrifice himself on the altar of restitution and that was not what I wanted.

"I d-don't want y-y-you to throw away y-your l-life, Ser-Ser..."

"I'm not planning to throw away my life, Elise."

I closed my eyes. I wanted to simply agree and see what would happen, but I would not be ruled by my baser nature. I forced myself to ignore the punishment of the curse to argue with him. "I kn-know y-y-you feel g-guilty, b-but that d-does n-not mean y-you have to s-sacrifice any more f-for me."

"I'm not sacrificing anything," he said.

"B-but," I protested. The curse was pulling me in two conflicting directions. It wanted me to fully submit to his proposal, but simultaneously continued punishing me for getting out of line again. Perhaps it would be satisfied when it finally ripped me in two.

"Elise, it's not a sacrifice. Not in the slightest."

There was something in the certainty of his tone that struck me dumb. I waited for him to say more, because I could not muster another word.

"I shouldn't, but I want you." His words sounded like he was making a shameful confession.

I glanced at him again and saw that his face was turned slightly away. In that moment, I did not feel any of the fear of the curse. The future felt like something else, like something beyond my current terrors.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, still not looking towards me. "After what I did, I should not and I've tried not to see you like that, Elise. But I've tried and I can't keep myself in line."

My heart felt odd. It was still pounding far faster than even my curse normal, but at the same time it felt oddly empty, but in a good way, not sorrow, but... Longing?

"Y-you're sure... Y-you're sure y-you're not j-just p-punishing y-yourself?"

He chuckled harshly. "It would be far from punishment." He paused. "And for you, it's neither an order, nor an obligation. You don't have to accept. You don't even have to give me an answer. I don't want you to agree, if you don't want to. I would rather have you spit in my face and walk away than be forced by the curse."

My heart beat with delight and fear at his words, but I still had reservations.

"I wasn't like I am n-now, n-not really," I cautioned him. "You don't know m-me b-beneath the ch-chains."

"I've been watching you fight this whole time. I know you and my feeling won't change."

"But, if i-it works, I will change."

"Everyone changes, Elise."

"What if it fails to work?"

"Then I would take you as you are. With the curse or without the curse, you're still you. If it doesn't work we'll find another way."

I turned towards him. His handsome features remained calm, but I could sense the underlying nervousness.

"Ser-serge," I managed to push out with my numb tongue, past the magic's displeasure.

He turned his face to me and I found I did not want to disappoint him.

But I needed time to sort out what sounds in my mind were the wails of the curse and what was my own decisions. "I need time to think," I begged.

"You have as long as you need," he said. "I'll wait forever if you wish."

"Thank y-you," I said.

He stared at me through the darkness. "And Elise, remember, it is never an order."

He was not pressuring me, but the curse was screaming at me both to do whatever he said and move towards him and also pushing me back down to know my proper place and away from him at the same time.

Finally, I fled into the house and hid in my room under the covers, clutching my stuffed lizard to my chest and trying to understand what I truly wanted.

* * * * * * * * *

My first thought in the morning as I peeked out of my covers was not the pounding of my heart, nor the cruel light streaming in my window, nor anything at all in my general vicinity.

My thoughts were entirely of him. I ignored the ice that wound down from the now invisible bite on the nape of my neck and through my bones. Instead, I felt excited and nervous and happy and afraid and a bunch of other emotions that seemed to stream out past the binding of the curse, all of them confused and all of them my own.

I was a complete mess.

I was scared to leave my room, because I had no idea how to act.

I was terrified of making the wrong decision.

I was a muddled pile of confusion and fear.

But somehow a happy one.

I buried my head back under the covers and hid from the day.

What if I accepted Serge's proposal? Would it break the curse? Could it break the curse?

How far would we have to go to break the curse? A simple kiss of true love, as if I were in some absurdly oversimplified fairy tale? Something more? Was it even possible to break it this way?

And did I even feel love for him? I did not really know what love even was, but I felt something. I had long since been intrigued by him and I definitely cared. I tried to establish the boundaries in my mind. I would grieve if he died, I liked being with him in those stray moments when the curse ceased its torment.

I did feel something, under the chains. But was it love?

What if I said yes and I married him, but I did not love him? What if I spent my life as a thrall to my husband who was also the one who was my master? I trusted him not to abuse me, but would he not become weary of my dependence at a certain point?

It was one thing to be his unwilling thrall for life and another entirely to be in such an uneven partnership.

I huddled further under the covers. I still wanted to gamble on an acceptance, but what if I was wrong and it was unbearable? The curse was already battling me back into fearful submission.

There was a knock on my door and I started with all the force of my first day under the curse.

Then came the gentle second knock and I knew it was Karen.

"Elise? Are you okay?" she asked as she cautiously pushed open the door.

"Y-yeah," I lied. I was terrible and I was wonderful, but I was definitely nothing so mild as okay.

"You sure? You're usually up by now."

I poked my head out again like terrified prey scenting outside my burrow. "Yeah." I paused. "You're usually not here on Saturdays," I pointed out.

Her brows wrinkled in concern. "Serge called and asked me to come in for a few hours. He did not tell me what happened, though," she said.

I heard the unspoken question in her words and the curse urged me to oblige.

I ignored it and took my punishment. I was absolutely not going to tell Karen about what Serge had proposed.

It hit me suddenly how the rest of the world outside would view such a relationship. They would judge Serge with more fury than they had when he first cursed me. They would think he was taking advantage of my thrall state. They would gaze on me, the helpless, pathetic thrall, with pity that would hurt more than indifference.

Our power differential would make Serge appear the villain and me the victim, no matter what the reality of the situation.

I felt my heart pound with the outrage of my realizations. I should refuse him for his own sake, but could not escape the revelation that I did not want to. But if I really cared, should I not do what was right for him?

What even was right?

"Elise?"

"S-sorry, K-Karen," I said quickly.

"You're certainly thinking about something deeply." She paused. "Are you hungry?"

I shook my head. "No, b-but I sh-should eat anyway."

I summoned my strength of will and pushed off the covers. I stood up shakily and made my painfully slow way to the kitchen after Karen.

Serge was not there and I was torn between relief and disappointment.

I sat on my daring middle bar stool at the island counter and tried to find answers. Instead I found bacon, as Karen pushed a plate with pancakes and crispy meat on the side.

Perhaps bacon was an answer before the curse, but since today it was chewy and tasted little better than shoe leather, it did not bring me relief. I simply cut my pancakes and brought mechanical bites to my mouth while my mind circled and the curse tried to ground me.

When I was finished, Karen took my plate. I began to push myself up when Karen's gentle tone stopped me.

"I don't know what happened, Elise, and I can tell you can't talk about it. I don't want to badger you for details."

She paused. "But I can see you're conflicted."

I met her soft brown eyes though the curse tried to stop me as always.

"Take care of yourself; do what's right for you."