A lot of things happened in the time it took for water to reach the other side of the table and start dripping onto the floor.

I frantically grabbed napkins and tried to sloppily rectify my error. Moramay whispered something harshly in my father's ear. My useless brother continued to watch the interplay between the two leaders as if it were a perfectly normal situation and I were not about to dissolve into fearful hysterics.

"Then just kill me, Nick. We both know no one would fault you for it," Serge said, his voice calm and cold.

"I've certainly thought about it," my father said.  He looked horribly serious.

"Then do it," Serge said as if it was nothing of import. "I won't even try to stop you."

"We both know why I can't," my father responded, his words almost a growl.

"Then let's destroy that damned king and his forces so they never dare raise their heads towards us again," Serge suggested.

My father nodded. "And then I'll be free to do whatever needs to be done."

I did not like the threat on Serge's life and the curse was in full agreement, attacking every part of my body as if it were my fault that other people were saying such things.

I could not take it anymore. I abandoned my shaky, futile attempt to clean up my spill and I faced my father.

"Dad, I don't want you to kill h-him," I said loudly in a steady voice that surprised even me.

"After what he's done? When it would free you?" my father asked.  He was staring at me as if he could not believe my words.

He narrowed his eyes turned his glare towards Serge. "Did he command you to defend him?"

I shook my head and shoved my words through the fog of fear surrounding me. "No, h-he wouldn't do that. H-he's trying, okay? It was a mistake and even though I can't look at his face I can see h-he's sorry."

"But you're his thrall now, so how can I know that your words are your own?" my father pointed out.

I made myself straighten my hunched frame. "If it were only the c-curse, I would be on the floor shaking right now. I said I was fighting i-it, dad, and you have to trust me."

Serge spoke from behind me and I shivered. "I think your father is right. It's the curse affecting you. You told me yourself that you hated me for what I did."

I paused and considered how to explain what I meant, to gather the strength necessary to contradict him.

In response, the curse rushed over me with enough force that I wanted to drop to my knees prostrate before him. "I-I also s-said I-I sh-should forgive y-y-you," I reminded him shakily as I half turned back to face him.

"And I said you should not."

Everyone in the room seemed to disappear except for me and Serge and of course, the ever present curse.

I could barely breathe as the magic chains constricted around me. I lost my battle with my body and ended up dragged to the floor beside the table for daring to defy him. I swallowed hard through my constricted throat.

"And unless y-y-you want to c-command my th-thoughts and f-feelings then I-I c-c-can f-forgive y-you if I ch-chose," I managed to get out.

Then, in the most overt declaration of war I could manage against the curse, I raised my burning eyes and met his gaze.

* * * * * * * * *

I was little better than a huddled mess of terror after my rebellion. Sean helped me get back up in my chair. I could hear Moramay scolding my father about how I had warned him that threats and criticisms of Serge agitated the curse.

Serge was completely silent. I could not even manage to swing my eyes enough to see him in my peripheral vision. Only the constant prickling of my neck and the fact I had not heard him leave told me he was still there.

Sean finally proved himself to be more than completely useless and helped himself to a kitchen cloth. He finished wiping up the mess I made, then we all started eating again.

We all pretended that two diners had not been arguing about whether to kill a third.

Our pretence was pathetic. It seemed as if everyone else had fallen prey to the lack of appetite of my curse. Even Sean only ate seconds.

Moramay, my weird hybrid of stepmother and fairy godmother, thankfully started up the conversation again, asking questions about various battles and strategies. It was a good choice because it was the one thing that the two pack leaders still had in common. Even my brother also had an interest in the topic.

I listened with only half an ear since the curse kept flaring up and biting me with aftershocks of my rebellion.

I shook at nearly every word that came out of their mouths, but I was glad we were past discussing the curse and even more glad that no one was actively threatening Serge.

They talked a lot about strategy going forward and something about the possibility of there being a base for the eastern forces somewhere relatively nearby since the attacks had become so much heavier recently. There was discussion about how they might find it and rout it if it indeed existed.

Our war had been largely defensive so long, it was surprising to hear them talking about potential offensive tactics.

I wondered if my condition was what had caused the shift in strategy. The curse swam through me, pooling the confirmation of guilty fear in the pit of my stomach. I hoped they were not going to get reckless now in some vain attempt to save me. I hoped that no one would get unnecessarily hurt.

By the end of the meal, my father and Serge had agreed they needed another interpack meeting with Austin in the very near future. Serge began cleaning up and Moramay joined him, making my father and brother help as well, although Serge had insisted it was absolutely not necessary.

I tried to help too, but my pathetic shaking fingers and my delayed movements seemed more in the way than anything else. I gave up and contented myself with sitting at the counter and watching whoever was working not near Serge at any particular moment.

Serge thanked my family for coming and then retreated from the room, promising my father he would get his assistants started on setting up a proper meeting for the Trifecta.

I was left sitting at the table with my family. We chatted and it was much easier than when Serge was nearby, but my father still seemed distracted and Moramay seemed desperate to make up the difference.

On the other hand, Sean was acting fairly normal, which was not a good thing. He seemed to be trying to wear away my last nerve.

I wanted to put a good construction on his behaviour, but no matter how many times I told myself he was likely trying to distract me from my unease, I still wanted to shove him off his chair.

I was glad to see them, but relieved when it was finally time for them to leave. My father was busy every day, but even Moramay had plans to talk with Doctor Alexi in the morning before I arrived and Sean was scheduled for patrol.

My family got ready to go. Moramay hugged me and my father whispered his apologies to me although it did not escape my notice that he had said nothing of the sort to Serge.

Sean did his irritating hair ruffling move and I swatted at him. "See ya, sis."

Then Moramay led my father away, Sean trailing behind them and they piled into my father's truck.

I was relieved that no other harsh words had been spoken. The vehicle pulled away and I watched the distant darkness until they were well out of sight, feeling torn between sadness that they were leaving and relief that they were gone.

I felt conflicted and all the while the curse continued to massage my heart with its icy claws.

I did not see Serge again that night.

* * * * * * * * *

I woke to faint grey light coming in my window. The sun was nowhere to be seen, obscured by clouds and icy, wet snow falling down and completely ruining the beginning of spring.

My wolf magic was well equipped for the cold, but my human form was definitely designed for a warmer climate. Living so far north was unnatural. Even before the curse, days like these made me want to transform and stay in my wolf fur from October until May.

The prickling cold of the curse did not make the new snow outside look any better.

Instead of transforming, as I was sorely tempted to do, I pulled on a hoodie and then tied my bathrobe over it. Karen had not come in yet, so I went out to find her myself.

Karen was not in the kitchen, but Serge was. "Good morning," he told me without turning towards me.

I copied his words, "Good morning."

"Karen's going to stay home today. The road conditions are terrible and it's not letting up."

I considered his words. "Um, well, does that m-mean that w-we won't be going to see Doctor Alexi today?" I asked.

"That does, I'm sorry. We'll go tomorrow once the roads are plowed," he said.

I actually did not mind. I still felt high strung after the argument the previous night and was glad to put off what was surely going to be an intrusive, curse agitating visit.

Moramay had not met Doctor Alexi other than the wedding, but I knew her well enough. She was eccentric and abrupt and I was certain she would rub the curse wrong with every second word.

The snow storm gave me one more day of reprieve which I could use to instead agitate the curse myself with my rebellion. I smiled at my sarcasm through the icy shivers of the curse running over my skin.

"You're pleased about that?" he asked.

I realized he had no idea what I was thinking about. "Just th-thinking about last night," I explained.

"Last night?" he repeated slowly as if attempting to fathom how those memories could be paired with a smile.

I smiled a bit more at his response and felt ice shoot through my blood. Yeah, it had been an absolute disaster, but I had managed quite a lot despite the curse trying it's best to stop me.

* * * * * * * * *

I skipped my run for the day. I was too afraid I would get disoriented in the snow. I might hit the edge of the parameter and end up freezing and cowering while the snow buried me. Serge might be able to find me, but it would be a lot of trouble and misery for both of us.

Instead, I showered and pulled on my warmest clothing, glad that Moramay had considered the possibility of the weather being its typical indecisive self.

I hated winter; I hated the cold. The curse ran shivers over my skin as if I were criticizing it through my meteorological complaints.

"Stop being an oversensitive s-suck," I muttered to it.

It ignored my order and ran through my veins.

I pushed aside such thoughts and resisted the urge to retreat from the cold back into my bed underneath my blankets.

The worst part of winter in my little piece of Canada was its terrible inconsistency. One could get used to temperatures forty degrees below Celsius.

But then it would warm up to a balmy negative twenty degrees and just when one's guard was down, negative fifty degrees with the wind chill!

Or, like right now. Yesterday it had seemed like we were finally moving beyond winter and then today, bam! Blizzard!

Most unfair. The weather was almost as bad as the curse.

It was bad enough for me, I don't know how the normal humans survived every year, poor things.

I didn't know how I was going to live through five months of winter with the ice of the curse already in my veins. It was going to be so cold. I shivered.

I turned my focus from my future suffering and back to the present suffering inherent in my usual activities. I texted my family that I would not be coming today, although I assumed Serge had probably already let them know that. I looked through the photographs. I discovered a third safe song after only one horrible happy musical mistake that left my heart pounding with absolute dread.

When I left my room for lunch I discovered that Denizen had returned home at some time during the night, so I spent the afternoon snuggling on the couch with the patient true wolf.

* * * * * * * * *