I had been terribly nervous about this first day in Serge's home without Karen to run interference between us.

I had not even been there a week, but already I really did not believe I had a logical reason to be afraid of Serge.  His deep regret of the one crime he committed against me made it difficult to imagine he would ever harm me further.

But my emotions, in the grip of the curse did not care about my logic and reason.  I was as terrified of being in the same room as him as ever.

Still, I had forced myself to get out of bed and try to follow my new routines.  I had met him in the kitchen, took the medication Doctor Fischer left and managed to force breakfast down my constricted throat before going and running in my narrow loops through the forest.  Afterwards I showered and got dressed, listened to my two songs on repeat, forced myself to look through the photographs, and texted my family that I was okay.

There was a sandwich waiting for me on the counter when I came out for lunch.  I assumed it was meant for me, but the curse was convinced I had no business eating as if I deserved to so I ate less than half.

Then, I resumed hiding in my room.

I was so startled when Serge interrupted me with a knock that I almost fell off the bed where I had been attempting to inattentively read.

"Y-yes?"

"You've got a guest," he told me through the door.

I abandoned the book and scrambled quickly out of my room.  He was no longer there when I opened it, so I cautiously walked down the hall and into the main area of the house.

It took me only a moment to spot Matthias.  My handsome friend was sitting on the couch and looking in my direction as I approached.  Pleasure at seeing him mixed in a maelstrom with the anxiety the curse wrought inside me.  I tried to ignore the magic as I followed him out to Isaac's truck and saw the load of goodies he had brought.

It would have been pure joy if I had been free to feel only my own emotions.

As it was, it was still nice wobbling somewhere between guilty terror and fun and affection with my friend.

Matthias was clearly distracted because he was not playing very well, but that did not matter because I was having trouble focusing myself.  I could get into the game, but then some game action or errant thought would remind the curse to plague me once again.

Still, I got a nice little burst of excitement that overshadowed the curse when I got Matthias with a sweet headshot as he walked obliviously into my line of sight.  Sure, he had clearly not had his mind in the game, but his distraction and my curse seemed to be similar handicaps so I counted it a fair win.

I tried the same trick of hiding and waiting for him to go by again, but this time he snuck up and got me from behind.

"Hey, cheater!" I joked.

"Did you really think I would fall for the same trick twice in a row?" he asked innocently.  He met my eyes with his own mischievous gaze.

I chuckled and shrugged.  "Still worth a try."

"Want to play something else?" he asked, setting down his controller beside him.

"Sure," I agreed.

"What do you want to play?" he asked.

"You pick this time," I said.  I was tired of fighting my way past the curse to make decisions.  Everyone I came in contact was being so solicitous and I appreciated that, but it was tiring, because the curse would not stop plaguing me.

Perhaps Matthias could simply just tell me what to do for a while so I did not need to think.  It's not like the curse forced me to obey him.

He chose a puzzle game that I definitely liked better than he did.  "You were supposed to pick something you wanted to play," I complained.

"I do want to play this," he insisted.

He was clearly trying his best to go easy on me or to help me forget and I felt a surge of warm affection for him before the curse swallowed it in shivering punishment.  I decided not to argue.  It was sweet that he wanted to baby me.  I probably would have done the same for him were our positions reversed.

Instead of playing against him, I selected the option where we could play in tandem against two computer characters.  It seemed better somehow when Matthias and I were on the same side.

I got into the mindless strategy of the game and tried to shut off my brain, letting hours of practice play for me.  We played until I could see the game graphics every time I shut my eyes.

"Ready for a break?" Matthias asked me.

"Only if you need one, old timer," I said.

"Old timer?" he repeated.  "Ouch."

I smiled.  "Even the thrall c-curse couldn't make me forget it's your birthday in a week," I reminded him.

"Even if it is, I'm only a few months older than you."

"Yeah, but you'll be twenty.  Two decades is a long time," I pointed out teasingly.

Matthias grinned.  "You'll get here soon enough, young'un."

I shot him a wide eyed expression.  "Nope, I'm going to be young forever.  The line between young and old is always somewhere directly between our ages and it moves by twenty-four hours every night.  Really, it's a mystery, but you can't argue with science."

"Nice science," he agreed dryly as he thrust a pop and a bowl of salt and vinegar chips towards me.  I shrugged and began to munch on them automatically.  It was not exactly the healthy food Doctor Fischer had recommended, but whatever.  I ignored the shivers that rushed through me for ignoring my pack's preferences.

I glanced at him.  "So what are you going to do?"

"Do?" he asked.

"Yeah, for your birthday?"

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  Haven't really been thinking about it.  My parents will probably get me a cake or something."

"Well, you have to do something, Matt," I urged him, dragging his name out into a whine.

"I'm not really in the mood for a party," he said, looking at me.

"It's the big two zero.  You can't not have one."  As we got older I was usually the one who invited our friends and planned it for him, because he insisted that he did not care.  Unfortunately, this year it seemed I was not going to be in shape to do any such thing.

He shrugged.  "Why not?"

"I'm not letting this ruin your birthday," I insisted, moving my hand to indicate me and Serge's house.  "If your birthday sucks it will be all my fault.  Do you want me to have that on my conscience?"

"You know I stopped caring about my birthday, well, other than the presents, when I was about twelve, Elise."

I play pouted.  "Are you saying you didn't like all the parties I threw for you?" I asked.

"I didn't say that, but—"

"Then at least get someone over to hang out so you're not sitting moping around at home all alone."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.  "You know I could never be at home alone, Elise."

It was true, not even if he wanted to.  I smiled at the thought of his family.  Besides his parents, there were his older brothers Isaac and Jesse, his older sister Ruth and his younger twin sisters Joanna and Lydia.

My father recalling Isaac back to the territories last year had not helped the house situation much because he was crashing in the basement, but at least Matthias got to keep the room he finally had to himself.

Matthias' house was in a constant fluctuating state of chaos which in retrospect was probably why he had spent so much time at mine over the years.  Granted, my house had not been much better with Sean, Terrance and Dave running amok half the time.

Honestly, Serge's house was almost eerily quiet now that I thought about it.  The only reason I had not really considered the silence before was because even his slightest movement sounded like a typhoon to the oversensitive ears of the curse.

But my point remained valid.  "Well, just promise me you'll do something, even if it's just with your family," I nagged.

"Fine," he said.  I grinned at his eye roll.  It was such a treat to even be able to look at a face to gauge reactions.  I smiled.  I had not even realized just how much I loved spending time with him before it had been largely stolen away from me.

The cold shivers rushed over me again.  I scooched over towards Matthias.  He raised an eyebrow at my action.

"I'm just cold," I explained.

He shrugged.  He seemed kind of tense and uncomfortable, which caught me off guard.

"I can go get a warmer sweater if you want," I offered.

He relaxed.  "No, it's fine, Elise.  Warm up."

"Thanks," I said to him and he put his arm around my shoulders stiffly.

"No prob.  Anything for you, kid."

It felt nice.  Matthias was safety and warmth and I missed both feelings dearly.  More than that, I missed him.  I had not realized how much I had needed him until he was no longer a couple minutes from my house.

"And thanks for coming here.  It was nice, a break from how things are now."

"You know I'd really do anything for you, right, Elise?" he asked me.

"I'd do the same for you, Matt.  You know you're my best friend," I reminded him.

He paused for a long moment.  "You're mine, too," he finally responded.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *

After I warmed up, we returned to our games.  We began a title on a game board in which we moved around playing mini-games and sabotaging each other in the most frustrating ways possible.

I did not fail to notice that Matthias set the computer run players to the easiest level, but I did not comment or protest.

As we played, I laughed and taunted Matthias every time the curse removed the pressure of its icy fingers.  Then we switched to a fighting game and I punched and kicked out my frustrations on Matthias' digital face.

I was having a good time, easily the best time I had had since Serge sunk his canines and magic into my flesh and I had no desire to see it end.

I only wished I could keep Matthias with me always.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *