I spent the rest of the morning in my room, feeling mildly less terrible.  I tested another depressing song on my mp3 player and added it to my playlist, doubling the songs I could comfortably listen to.  I further organized all the stuff that Sean had brought me.  I looked through my piles of photographs.

I enjoyed looking at the pictures of my family and friends and the people I knew, including the two girls I knew were safe from Austin's pack.  My pleasure stemmed mostly from how good it felt to simply look at peoples' faces without being punished.

Then I moved on to the unknown pictures with trepidation.  I did not know who was safe to look at or not, so it seemed the magic simply spread my fear out over the pictures evenly.  I examined every female face and tried to figure out which one Karen was from my brief glance at her in the mirror.  The ones I thought she might be scared me more than the others.

Finally I forced myself to look at the picture of Serge, even though my eyes almost stung in the attempt.  I could feel the curse stabbing its icy shards into the back of my neck where his teeth and magic had entered my flesh.

I felt terror at the sight of him, but underneath the curse I felt intrigued.  I was coming to sympathize with my captor which was probably not healthy, but I did not seem to be able to help myself.

Naturally, I should hate him, but now I was starting to have trouble maintaining the feeling.  It was not even just the curse forcing me any longer.  It was the real, hidden me.

It was not surprising, I supposed.  I never had been good at holding a grudge if someone seemed really sorry. Maybe I was a pushover, but I could not quite help myself.

Never had I seen anyone so broken as Serge.  The magic flared up inside me at the memory of how angry he was at himself, but at least it felt no further need to assault me over my own burgeoning feelings.

My hatred of Serge might be diminishing, but I still loathed the curse with such a fiery rage that by rights it should have simply melted away.

But the curse did not work like that and it ran again throughout my body as if to remind me of who was truly the master.

The soft knock on the door startled me.  I tried to resist the urge to cower, but the curse was in full force and pushed my body down.

"Y-y-y-yes?" I managed to get out with my leaden tongue.

"Elise?  Can I come in?" Karen asked.

"Y-yes," I responded.  The curse hummed its pleasure that I was submitting to my false pack.

The door swung open.  I was so sick of the curse.  I rebelliously forced my eyes towards her.  I looked at her black and grey striped socks, the bottom of her jeans.  I drew my eyes up her legs until I could see the tips of her fingers of one hand.

My eyes fled as the curse burrowed into my bones.

"So, Doctor Fischer's here to give you another check up, Elise."

I nodded. Even though I had known him for years, the doctor terrified me, simply because he was one of Serge's pack.

"He'll be here in a minute, when he's done talking to Serge," she said gently.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *

I heard when Doctor Fischer entered the room.  I knew it was him because my neck prickled, but not so much as when it was my leader and also because I was becoming really familiar with the different gaits of the false pack members I had regularly met.

Serge's footfalls were brisk and determined, Karen's were as soft as her voice, and although I had never noticed it before, Doctor Fischer's were somewhere in between and made more distinct by the fact they were uneven.  He favoured one side.  I wondered if he had an old injury to contend with or something else.

"Hello, Elise," he said.

"Hello, d-doctor," I said.  I could not look at him, neither could I look over to the corner where Karen watched.

"Can you please turn so I can check out your neck?" he asked.

I did as he requested and pulled my thick hair out of the way at the same time.

I could feel the cool burn of his hands upon my neck as he removed my bandage.  I swallowed and held myself still.

"The wound is closed and healing nicely.  Time will take care of the rest."

"Thanks."

"There may not even be a scar," he commented.

If the magic would fade with the scar his words might have given me comfort, but I had little interest in the presence of a bite mark on the back of my neck either way.

"How are you coping?" he asked me.  I was surprised because the other times he had seen me he had seemed only concerned about my wound and physical health.

"F-f-fine," I responded quickly.

Karen spoke for the first time during my visit.  "Please tell the truth, Elise."

I swallowed, feeling cold fear wash over me.  "N-not great."

Doctor Fischer paused.  "Can you please describe your experiences?"

"I, um, I-I feel afraid.  Of things that never used to scare me, and p-people.  The c-c-curse grabs me if I think or do the wr-wrong thing."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Criticizing, or d-daring to do something that i-i-it thinks is out of line.  Like looking at..." I trailed off as if I had run out of energy to complete my thought.

Karen interjected.  "She can't seem to meet our eyes, but I have seen her trying and she has made progress.  I gave Elise a box of photographs to look through."

Doctor Fischer responded.  "You're seeing some improvement?" he asked.

"Yes," Karen said and I nodded at the same time.

Doctor Fischer cleared his throat.  "From what I have heard and can see, Elise, the magic is causing you to feel an emotional response to situations that would normally would not have frightened you."

I nodded.  It was a good summary.

"You were in excellent health going into the curse, but until the curse is removed, I would suggest you do your best to take care of your physical needs.  Exercise and a well rounded diet would be chief among these."

I nodded.  It would be hard, but Karen already seemed to be thinking in that direction so I would only need to follow her lead.

"The endorphins from exercise alone may help you combat the negative effects of the curse."

I remembered my brief thrill during my run.   I did not know if it was caused by endorphins or by the familiarity of the activity, but I would take whatever I could get.

"I am also going to tentatively prescribe* you an anti-anxiety medication to see if it can counteract the magic.  We'll monitor your progress to see if it has a positive effect.  I'd prefer not to keep you on it long term, however."

I nodded.

"We'll see how you respond and go from there on my next visit.  Obviously, the way forward is for the curse to be completely lifted and we will find a way.  The entire trifecta is with you, Elise."

"Thank y-you," I said.  The cold chill of the curse swept over me for daring to hope for its removal.

Doctor Fischer bid me farewell and left the room.  I knew he went to talk to Serge and I assumed it was about me, which made sense.  Karen followed him after enquiring if there was anything that I needed.

I knew when the doctor finally left Serge's home by the sound of his engine fading into the distance.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *

I hid in my room until suppertime, when Karen finally came and drew me out of my solitude.

I knew it was coming, but I did not want to be around Serge.  Other than following him home from my run this morning, I had not really been in his presence since our awkward interaction in the kitchen the previous night.

My own masochistic memories and the curse united to make me really dread further interactions with him.  What had I been thinking, telling him I hated him, then trying to make him feel better?  And he was my leader, my master, really, since I was now just a thrall.

I tried to still my shaking as I followed Karen from my safe little corner.

I sat down in my spot at the table and kept my eyes averted from them both.

Then, when food was set before me, I began to eat automatically.

"This is really good, Serge," Karen commented.

"Can't really mess up walleye," he responded easily.  "Thank Sebastian for me."

"I will.  He was quite proud of his catch this time."

"His fishing skills are definitely improving," Serge agreed.

"Sebastian is my oldest son," Karen told me in an aside.  "He's dying to join the fight, but thankfully he's still too young.  Hopefully it ends before he can."

"Hopefully," Serge echoed.

I agreed silently.

A knock on the door made me jump.

I heard Serge walk towards the door and open it.

"Hello, Serge, I just brought a few more documents for you.  Leah says she needs them dealt with by tomorrow," I heard the voice I recognized as Jodi say.  "Oh, hello Karen, Elise."

Karen responded and I squeaked out a greeting.

"Thank you," Serge told her.  "Want to join us?"

"No thanks, I'm heading home after this."  She paused.  "Want to watch a movie or something later, Elise?"

I was surprised that she even asked me.  I swallowed and tried to consider the question while ignoring the prickles down my neck.

Serge spoke, "She would be too far from me, Jodi."

Karen added, "And we're trying to get her used to pack members gently."

"So she's just sitting around this house all the time with you two?" Jodi asked incredulously.  "You could come along too, Serge.  It would probably do you good to get away from this cage."

The way she was talking to the leader made the curse ripple over my skin.

Jodi directly addressed me, "Do you want to, Elise?"

"U-um, well," I said, the curse pulling me this way and that, although I thought I should rather agree with Serge and Karen.

"I have no concern with her moving around the territory, but she seized up when she got too far from me earlier," Serge explained.

"Fine, then we'll watch something here unless you have a problem."

Serge paused.  "What do you want, Elise?"

I did not know what I wanted, but I did know the curse was pushing me to refuse and go hide in the corner of my room.  "I'd l-l-like to," I lied.

"I'll come back  in a couple of hours then," she promised before leaving quickly.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *

Author's Note:

* I am not a doctor so if you ever find yourself under a fear inducing curse that makes you consider the use of anti-anxiety medications, talk to Doctor Fischer or another medical professional. XD

Never take medical advice from a werewolf book, their physiology is a bit different than that of regular humans. ;)

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *