Serge's question hung in the air between us. I glanced over and really looked at him.

The signs of strain I had seen in his picture were still there, but he looked hopeful. I met his hazel eyes, gazing at me with concern.

It was a ridiculous thought, but if I had met him before this whole mess I would have thought him attractive. I forced the thought away.

"Did that work?" he asked again.

"I think so," I said slowly. It did work; I felt like myself; I felt light.

But I already knew that it was temporary. No, worse than temporary, it was a mere moment. I could feel the first tendrils of the magic prickling under the bandage, trying to reassert themselves.

He was not the master of the curse; the curse was the master of me, of us all.

I felt guilty in advance of dashing his hopes, but I decided on transparency while I could manage it. I met his eyes. "It's not going to last, though. I can feel it beginning again."

He looked dejected. I caught his eyes with my own and read the measure of his guilt. He really was tearing himself up over his transgression.

Without thinking through the implications of my actions, I pulled away from his side. He did not argue and he did not say anything as I turned and I wrapped my arms around him.

I did not know why I did it, except that I hoped to relieve all that misery a fraction while I still could. I put my chin on his shoulder.

He stiffened. "What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a hug, because you look so miserable," I explained, feeling embarrassment well up in me.

"You don't need to worry about that," he argued, but he did not push me away.

"I can't help it," I told him.

I also could not help the magic ice ripples that spiralled through my bones, either. I couldn't stop them as they triggered shocks throughout my nervous system, or from diffusing through my blood or over running over my skin.

I held on as long as I could, then the fear gripped me and I skittered away from him.

The resurgence of the fear hit me hard, almost worse than if I had never had a moment of relief. It squeezed me harder as if trying to have its revenge for that one brief moment of respite. It felt like I could not breathe.

It was too much.

I swallowed. "I-i-it worked, but it w-was n-n-not w-worth the return."

I heard him swear not quite under his breath. I could not look at him again.

* * * * * * * * *

After the renewed punishment of the curse subsided a bit, I made my way back to my room and lay on my bed. I could not figure out what I had been thinking in those few moments I was free of the curse.

I was more familiar with my false leader's face now and as stupid as it was I felt sorry for him. This whole mess was largely his fault, although the anxious prickles reminded me of the fact I was not supposed to cast blame on him.

I pushed past the fear of the curse. It was his fault, but every encounter I had with him showcased that he felt bitter regret over his mistake. How could I be properly be angry at him when he was so obviously furious at himself?

And it was not just him. Although Karen seemed to regard him with the same sort of quiet sympathy she did me, everyone I had spoken to from my pack since the incident were furious at what he had done for my sake.

Pitied or hated; he was as isolated as me, perhaps even more. Poor Serge.

Apparently not. I felt the swift rush of shivers that I dared even think his name.

I was really sick of the feeling. Was I not even allowed to empathize with him as a fellow human?

I forced myself to take a shower and pull on my pajamas before I huddled underneath the covers with Lizzy and my mp3 player. My one safe song played on repeat as I hid away from the world.

If only the blankets could hide me from the curse, too.

* * * * * * * * *

The next morning I woke with my usual panicky heart and uneven breathing from dark dreams beyond my memory and then I dragged myself out of my room to get breakfast.

Karen was in the kitchen. "Oh, I'm surprised to see you up already," she commented.

"I was awake, s-so..." I began.

"Well, I've almost got your breakfast ready. Are you up for a run afterwards?" she asked.

I nodded. If I said no I would surely feel the sweep of the magic rush through me.

And a run might be nice, it might give me a reminder of the normalcy that I had lost.

She put down a plate on the island counter and I pulled it towards me. I picked up the fork and began to eat the eggs and bacon before me, one bite at a time until my plate was completely cleared.

It almost tasted good and that was at least something.

After I took my dishes to the sink and rinsed them, Karen led me outside. I followed her into the forest and she slipped off to change.

I dropped my clothing in a pile and let my human structure slip into that of a wolf.

I considered how I felt. The wild, free feeling I usually got from my transformation was still there, but it was buried along with my other emotions under the piles of anxiety.

How I missed my old pure emotions.

I tried to ignore the obscuring curse and focus on my four solid legs and my sleek frame. I saw Karen return out of the corner of my eye and I tried to meet her eyes.

I managed to catch a sight of her legs, torso, and wagging tail, but I could not make my eyes rise to the level of her face, baring much non verbal communication from me. From what I could see, I could tell she seemed relaxed. The knowledge did not calm me, but neither did it aggravate the curse into bearing down on me again.

I felt her nudge me and I followed after her, able to see where she was going from the corner of my eye.

We dashed through the forest, running a wide circle around Serge's home. I avoided obstacles easily and I felt something building inside me, welling up so much that I could finally perceive it.

I felt good. Barely, but the feeling was there, peeking out. Perhaps it was aided by the adrenaline rushing through my body at the exercise.

I let out a low, happy sound at the feeling in me. Karen responded and it barely added to my fear.

We ran around trees and over and around the jagged rocks of this land that was so similar to my own home. I could hear the sounds of the forest and smell the familiar scents of the spring thaw all around me. I could feel the wind through my fur and the ground under my toes, sometimes rock, moss or the odd pile of snow that had not yet been melted in the slowly warming spring.

I did not care about the terrain. I felt gloriously free.

We continued on, Karen leading. I did not care where, I was simply happy to be moving around so easily.

I had almost forgotten my situation with the curse.

But the curse had not forgotten me.

I was taken off guard when the fear seized me again.

It was sudden and I did not understand immediately what had happened. Most of the time the fear crept in slowly and I could feel it coming now, but this time it barely brushed my cells before going straight for my heart.

I crumbled into a ball on the ground, my previous elation completely gone as if it never had been.

I could not help the whine that wrenched through me.

Karen stopped beside me and nudged me with her muzzle. I could not bring myself to respond. She howled loudly. Her high, anxious wail cut through the relative silence of the forest.

I heard a response from somewhere far off in the direction of the house where I now lived. I could guess who it was, and I was unsurprised when a few minutes later I felt the anxious prickles on the back of my neck at his approach.

Serge walked up to me and nudged me much as Karen had, but it was more of a release than Karen's act. It did not even hurt, it almost felt good.

Karen and I followed Serge back to his house.

* * * * * * * * *