The sparrow is chirping again. I can't understand him anyway. I don't know if he is angry about the choice I made just now. But, by now, it's a decision I've made, there's nothing more he can do about it.

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

Paul opens the door, I sneak in and steal something. Sounds easy, doesn't it? It's just three actions to take. That's it!

Let's hope Paul really knows how to open a locked door, otherwise we're screwed. We have to be quick.

"Martha!" It is Karol's voice.

I get up from the bench. Miriam is there, too. "How are you?" How nice to see them. I immediately run over to them.

Karol raises her finger blocked by a brace. "Good. I could have died, but I'm alive."

I hug them tightly. I am really glad they are here. "It's a good thing you can tell us."

We laugh.

Miriam rests her head on mine. "You haven't answered on the group since last night. You were making us worry."

It's true. They don't know anything about last night's fight. They are my best friends and I haven't had the courage to talk to them yet. I break away from the hug. "Excuse me. I didn't do it on purpose. Unfortunately, I had a busy night."

"Me too." Karol waves her broken finger and smiles.

I wish something so simple had happened. Last night, I feared I would die. The violence of that beast, the unscrupulous look, the feeling of being doomed.... I would have given anything in return not to experience that moment. I would have even endured a broken finger.

Miriam frowns. Even though I'm standing there in front of her eyes, she looks worried. "What happened last night?"

The question hits me full force. That now familiar lump in my throat reappears out of nowhere, as if it had always been there. Ready to grip me. It is strange how such a simple question, can trigger such intense and complicated emotions.
Perhaps, she could have also said to me 'How are you?" and it would have happened just the same.

"Nothing." I don't think I've cried enough about what happened yesterday. The vision mists up. Tears join together, increase in volume, and fall uncontrollably down my face.
I cannot bring them back. I can only bring them down in free fall and, this time, live in the moment.

Karol and Miriam hug me on the fly. I really need them. I hold them close to me and keep crying, but without making a sound. My breathing is irregular and I have just a few apnea. I think you can tell that I haven't stopped crying yet. I am free to cry. I deserve it and I can with them.

The contact of their hands rubbing my back makes me feel good. I sink onto Karol's shoulder. I love you.

She consoles me with a little pat. "You can tell us what happened."

"Hug me some more."

Who knows when I will forget that story. I had fear, courage, anger....

Miriam's pocket vibrates: it's the phone. "It must be my mother." She pulls it out. "Wait a minute while I answer it." She walks a few meters away.

Karol strokes my cheek. "Well? Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Now, I don't feel like talking about the fight. I wipe my tears with my knuckles. "I'd like not to talk about it."

"Okay, then we won't talk about it. When you feel up to it, you tell me. Anyway, are you okay?"

"Now that you're here, yes!"

"Don't worry. Everything will work out."

I hope so. I just want to erase those bad images from my mind.

"How is it going with Paul?"

"Good." She wants to distract me. "Remember when the balloon came to you?"

She raises her broken finger. "This brace reminds me constantly." She smiles.

"By the way, how long do you have to stay like that?"

"A month, then I have to have another X-ray. Anyway, don't change the subject! Well? How's it going with Paul?"

"When you left in the nurse's office, then I talked to him."

"And what did you say to each other? Did you give him a hard time about the fact that he gave me a ball on the finger?"

"Actually, he didn't. He told me he just came to get the ball."

"Okay, then I forgive him. You have my blessing: you can get engaged to him."

I can't hold back a conspicuous smile. "Yeah, whatever, we're a million light years from being engaged. We've been chatting, though..."

"So?"

"So, he is also witty."

"Okay, so we have a guy who is cute, witty, doesn't break anyone's fingers with a basketball.... I'd say he's perfect!"

"Yes. I'd say it's all there. He has the characteristics of the ideal guy." I laugh.

"How does he behave toward you? Has he said anything to you?"

"Actually, yes."

Karol's eyes go wide. "And what did he say to you?"

"He told me that he wants to get to know me better..."

"Wow. He said those exact words to you?"

"Not really, no. He told me he would like to go out with me sometime, though."

"Oh my God! You're telling me like this?"

"How should I tell you?"

She grabs my hands. "So? When do you see each other? I want to know!"

Actually, tonight. I promised Paul that I can't say anything. I don't like lying.

"So?" She points her index finger at me. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"No, it's just that I promised Paul I wouldn't say something."

"What does that have to do with you having to go out?"

"Let's say...nothing. Basically, everything."

She frowns. "I don't understand. Do you have to see each other or not?"

"I can't tell you."

"Did you kiss and he doesn't want to let people know?"

"No!"

"Does he have weird perversions and asked you out somewhere weird? What do I know. Like in a cemetery?"

"No!" That would have been better. It would be less dangerous. It wouldn't be the best, but at least the police wouldn't arrest us for stealing. Or is it illegal to go to cemeteries at night?

"So, what? You don't trust me?"

"No, it's not that I don't trust you. It's that I promised him not to tell anyone. Besides, maybe you wouldn't even agree..."

"What? I wouldn't agree? What do you have to do? A dangerous thing?"

"I'm sorry, but I just can't tell you."

Karol looks around as if trying to find the solution hanging from who knows what tree. Suddenly, she opens her eyes and mouth wide. "I get it. Paul has just arrived and has to take the Test to get on the basketball team!"

Shit, she's getting there. "What?"

"Don't get smart with me." She scratches her head. "What's it got to do with you, though?"

"Me? Nothing."

"I get it. He asked you out before or after the Test, didn't he?"

"No, no. You are out of the way. Tonight, he has to take the Test, but we don't see each other before or after."

"Don't tell me you see each other during the Test?" She laughs.

I give a shrill laugh. She catches me. She has it all figured out. My eyelid twitches. "What?"

"I know that look. I'm right. You see each other during the Test! Did he ask you?"

"No, he didn't ask me a damn thing!"

"Why are you warming up?"

"I'm not warming up, but he didn't ask me to go."

Karol remains silent for a couple of seconds. "You asked him!"

"No!" my eyelid twitches again.

"What's going on?" Miriam comes back between us.

Karol crosses her arms. "Martha is seeing Paul today."

"Wow. We need to celebrate." She notices that Karol is angry. "Why aren't you happy for her?"

"Because they are seeing each other tonight and he, just tonight, has to take the Test to join the basketball team."

Miriam smiles. "Eventful date, huh? Anyway, I thought that Test thing was a myth. But now that Martha is dating one of them..." She winks at me.

"She's hiding something from us!"

"I'm not hiding anything from you. Can't you mind your own business?"

Karol and Miriam stare at me open-mouthed. Perhaps, I've gone too far. I shouldn't have said that.

Karol blurts out. "We have to mind our own business, huh? Then don't come crying to us when you've fucked up and don't know who to go to."

"Girls." Miriam interposes herself between us. "Maybe we're overreacting now..."

"No, Karol is not overreacting! I won't come crying to you. I would never come there."

"You would never come there, huh? Shall we remember when you were ten years old and you liked Jason?"

"What's Jason got to do with it now?"

"You were writing a story in your notebook, because you wanted to be a writer."

"So?" But why is she bringing this story up?

"You were doing something you loved, and when he asked you to go with him to play a prank on Meredith, you didn't hesitate for a moment to leave the story to go with him."

"I wanted to spend some time with him, because I liked him."

"Do you remember how it went?"

"Of course I remember."

"Then you will remember very well that the prank of cutting her hair went wrong and the teacher grounded you?"

"What about this? What do you want to prove?"

"Later you came crying to me. Your mother was pissed off and you found my shoulder to cry on."

"So, you want to be thanked? Is that what you want?"

Miriam interjects embarrassedly. "You are angry. You don't really want to say these things. Let's calm down."

She is pissing me off. Why does she bring up these things?
"Thank you! Is that what you want to hear? Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Do you have other things to say or hold against me?"

"Yes, I want to point out that when you like someone, you do strange things. You get into trouble!"

"But I was ten years old. I just got caught up in something stupid."

"And to please Paul, you're not doing it again?"

"It's something else now. Don't get involved."

"You know what I'm telling you? That you can do whatever you want. You'll still be the same anyway. A stupid girl who, to make a boy you like happy, gives up all her dreams. Get flunked out, get arrested! But don't come to me anymore!"

"Of course I won't come to you anymore. In fact, you know what I'll tell you instead? I'm leaving right now! I never want to see you again."

"Go away. So you don't get us in trouble."

"No, no girls, what are you talking about?" Miriam stretches her arms forward in a sign for us to calm down.

"You leave me alone, too."

"Martha, don't go!" She grabs one of my wrists, and I pull away with a yank.

"Run away from trouble. Run away."

"Karol, will you stop?"

I better get out of here. Karol really pissed me off. How dare she say such a thing? Me abandoning my dreams? I still want to write, I still want to do the school contest. Now, I'll show them who I am. Once the Test thing is done, I'll devote myself to the novel. I don't need Miriam or Karol anyway. I will not need a shoulder to cry on: everything is under control. Now that I am well, that I have found a boy who likes me, should I back out? No!
I will continue on my way. Whatever happens, I will manage on my own strength, even without them!