The bell rang the first time, then the second. And then again, and again. Tony closed his eyes and cursed severely. There was no indication that the kids would let go. Of course not. Damn it, that's why he hated Halloween. Like most of the "warm and familial" holidays. Yes, Christmas too.

"Boss, should I deal with this?", asked Happy via intercom. Something in his voice told Tony that he was not thrilled about the kids who would be sent away without even one symbolic candy. If he could, he probably would have consumed a bar of chocolate or three with those little monsters, but it was not only his diet but also his employer's clear orders that wouldn't allow him to.

"No, Happy, I'll take care of it myself."

That's the least he could do for his favorite bodyguard.

Stark glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He looked awesome. Although his youth was already a few steps behind him, his body was still holding well. Long hours spent on exercises had the intended effect, now additionally highlighted by fragrant sandalwood oil. If he could, he would worship himself with sexual sacrifice. Ah, no, wait, that's what he was going to do. And he would have done it already if were it not for some extremely annoying brats.

As if on a signal, the urgent bell rang again.

That's why Stark never intended to have children.

Throwing curses under his breath, he pulled sweatpants on his overly oiled ass and draped himself in a thick fluffy robe. The only thing he wanted was to catch a cold because of the army of gnomes dressed in absurd costumes. What was popular this year? Vampires? Werewolves? Ah, yes, superheroes. What an idiocy.

Exactly. Idiocy. He genuinely thought so. But he decided to take a look at the intercom before he sent the brats away with nothing. Very brutally and soullessly. Not that he wanted to appreciate their creativity. No. Well, maybe a little bit. Since he was a kid barely able to tie shoelaces (damn shoelaces, he always preferred Velcro), he was obsessed with guys in skintight costumes. Actually, he still liked them, but fortunately, he wasn't stupid enough to admit any of his weaknesses. Especially this one.

He glanced at the screen, mentally prepared for the worst.

Well, he was wearing an idiotic superhero costume, but he definitely wasn't the worst Tony could see. Quite contrary. Golden, combed-back hair, blue eyes, firm jawline, and sharp cheekbones. The navy blue costume, reminiscent of a uniform rather than kitschy spandex, only emphasized the unreal perfection of the man waiting at the door.

Stark, not caring for anything, rushed to open. Damn, he didn't remember calling someone for the night. Maybe it was a gift from Pepper? Tony didn't suspect Rhodey of such kindness, but who knows. Or was it the deity of mechatronics and quantum physics that finally decided to look at Tony with a kinder eye?

It didn't matter. Stark didn't have time to even think about it. He may not have known all of the psychological nuances of being in a relationship. But he could easily see the impatience and worry in the eyes of the stranger. Another moment and Tony will lose the opportunity to change the date with his own hands for something much more...

He stopped at the door, took a deep breath, ran fingers through his hair, then took on a nonchalant pose, and opened.

"Trick or treat!"

The man turned out to be even more appetizing, which was why Tony very reluctantly looked away from him. If there was any deity of mechatronics and quantum physics, it was an extremely freakish one and it definitely didn't deserve Stark's prayers. Not that he would pray to anyone or anything, but if he ever felt like it, he would choose a more sympathetic heavenly being.

The sexy soldier didn't arrive alone. A flock of kids armed with candy bags crowded around his legs. Tony mentally prepared himself to beg for a trick, and now he couldn't say a word.

"Are you a villain, sir?" asked the toddler in silver-green tights.

"Tommy!", groaned the super-soldier in horror, and flushed with embarrassment. "Tommy, please, say you are sorry."

"And if he is a villain?"

"You should apologize, anyway."

"And then will we get candy?", asked a tall boy with fair hair and skin smeared with green paint and sequins, which were probably supposed to be lizard scales.

"No." Damn it. Did he really say that? Tony took a deep breath and faced the army of disappointed children and their far too tempting guardian. "I don't have candies."

Of all possible moments it was right now that he must have been honest. Of course. He saw hope die in children's bright eyes and heard their sad sighs. Unfortunately, that was the truth. He didn't have a single candy at home. Even the sugar cubes were banned, he left only a stevia sweetener, but he couldn't suggest it to the kids. All because of Happy's diet. Tony decided that he would be a good friend and give up all sweets not to tempt his bodyguard. And now they both tricked themselves. Of course, Tony felt it much more, because the subtle pulsing in his crotch began to die painfully, when the wonderful soldier smiled apologetically and withdrew a few small steps, dragging upset children behind him.

Could it be true? Or maybe Stark was just seeing what he wanted to see?

No. No, the soldier was really disappointed in the lack of any follow-up. And he was trying to give Stark another chance.

"I don't have candy, yes," Tony began, desperately searching for any hooking point. Something that makes them all stop and then allows him to drag the sweet innocent hero into his cave of evil and debauchery. "But that doesn't mean you have to leave empty-handed."

The kids froze, visibly intrigued.

"What do you mean?" asked the eldest boy in a blue-red suit with a large spider, and glasses a little too big.

"Popcorn and Star Trek?"