The title of this story, despite being slightly grammatically incorrect, was actually quite intriguing. It made me want to open the book. The idea for the plot depicted in the blurb was also pretty great and compelled me to read the story. 

I noticed that the author has clearly pictured the scene they are writing as they have tried to include imagery, and I really appreciate the effort. However, this is demurred by one thing that the author has done while describing, which is to use the noun again and again throughout the paragraph. 

For example, while describing a carriage, the words 'the carriage' appear far too many times, which just puts readers off. I noticed this in a lot of places in your writing, as well as a few grammatical errors. 

One more thing I wanted to point out was the title of the first part, 'They'. This title is not very good, despite the content of that part being excellent. Please change the title into something else such as 'The Downfall' or 'They Say'. 

Additionally, the side note in the blurb asking people to read the first part and the prologue seems very desperate, and might not be liked by a lot of people checking out the blurb. It is best to have this removed. If people choose to skip ahead, allow them to. If you drag them back and ask them to read what you want, they may not read at all. 

I would be happy to give you some good book suggestions that you can refer to in order to better your writing. A plot line as good as yours should not suffer due to these errors.

Final Score: 6/10