I have to say, first-off, that I did not find many grammatical errors in your story. You have no idea how uncommon that is, and I was very impressed by it. 

When I read your first chapter, I found that it was beautifully separated out into little paragraphs, the transition was good, and the dialogue was neatly tied together. That was a huge plus for you. 

Unfortunately, I do have some issues where your book is concerned. While most people may not have a problem with it, I did notice that your first chapter was quite a typical teen-fiction beginning, which is quite fine, except that it does not have that pull that a reader should feel in a first chapter and throws them off by making them think the story would be boring. 

Secondly, I think your cover could be changed just to showcase a little more of your book as it is, again, quite typical and I feel as though your book is unique and deserves better. Try asking @xohrats to design a cover for you if she isn't busy. She is excellent. 

Aside from that, you did a wonderful job! Congratulations! 

Final Rating: 7.5/10