It's been just over two weeks since Ethan and I went out in the middle of the night, ate fast food and stayed up all night, getting to know each other on the top of a garage. Two weeks, and it feels like it happened months ago.

Every day I've seen him and spent time with him. I've been working, focusing on college work as well as enjoying his company. One day, last week, we saw a new movie in the cinema's and then we drove to literally nowhere as we listened to music, but I still believe my music taste is better than anyone else's.

I reluctantly followed him to the gym one day after work and now we've been training together twice a week. And I'm proud to say, I can now hit the bag without hesitation or embarrassment. I'm not weird to think it's humiliating... because it is.

Our friendship, it means something to me. Where I have my roommates who are my best friends and I love with my whole heart, Ethan is different. I can't pinpoint the reason as to why he is, I just know that talking to him is different.

My attraction towards him hasn't changed, but I've fought it. My stupid feelings aren't going to ruin something good. I can't let it and I won't.

Today, well now it's Tuesday. I have only two classes today and one of them were early, the other later on, so I napped for an hour before waking everyone up, telling them to get the swimming wear on because we're going out. I know swimming is random, but it's relaxing. We've gone swimming as a group several times, mostly in the winter because the public pool isn't very busy then, but it's now October and I was right. It's not at all busy, in fact there's one other person here.

"I can't believe I can't actually swim." Hanna complains, frowning like a child.

"You're the one who pierced your ear again. If you want to get an infection, you can, but we don't advise it." Matt says with a snort, and she splashes him with water making me squeal. "I'll drown you."

"Do it, see if I care." She smiles at him, and I laugh swimming away from that conversation. "Matt!"

These are my friends, my best friends.

"Frankie, help me!" She squeals and I look back to see her over his shoulder.

"Matt, put the poor girl down, you know you're going to be the one looking after her if she does get infected." I tell him and he groans, putting her down, gently I might add.

"Dickhead." She mutters.

"Why did we come swimming again?" Lauren asks, floating on her back.

"Because why not? I thought it would be fun, not a murdering exercise." I say, glaring at both Matt and Hanna.

"You love us, don't deny it." Matt smiles at me.

"Yeah, well if you kill one of my best friend, I won't." I say, crossing my arms.

"So, how's everyone sex lives because mine is in a dire state?" Lauren asks and I frown at her. She slept with Ty at the party three weeks ago. Is that long?

"I had sex last night." Hanna says, smiling at her.

"This morning." Matt says.

"I haven't slept with anyone since July, so I'm going strong." I say, shrugging and they all stare at me.

"You've got some will power, I give you that. I can't survive." Lauren says, and I laugh shaking my head.

"Wait, you haven't slept with Kane?" Matt asks.

"No, of course I haven't. We're friends, and only friends." I say, going to float on my back but he pushes my foot back down making me frown. I want to float above water. Rude.

"I thought you were at least getting some action with him. That's why I figured you were always with him." He says and I shake my head.

"Nope, I've had no one kiss or touch me in a sexual way since July." I say, telling the sad truth.

"How? I understand the no guy thing because of your heart but you can have fun, I do. I slept with someone last night and someone different this morning. I'm not a slag either, I'm having fun." Hanna makes sure to get the last point across.

"Nah, I'm not really in the mood for casual sex. Sure, if it was worth it, I would." I chuckle.

"Wait, so nothing is going on with you and Ethan?" Lauren frowns, looking somewhat sad.

"No, we've been hanging out, studying, catching movies and going to the gym together." I say and they all share a look.

"So, you're platonically dating?" Matt asks.

"What, no!" I exclaim, the idea baffling to me.

"Have you been to dinner together?" Hanna asks.

"No, well we've ate several times together." I answer.

"Have you ever been in compromising positions before?" Lauren asks with a smile, and I push the memory away of me waking up next to him, cuddled into his chest.

"No, of course not." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, whatever, you have that look in your eye that tells me you're lying." Matt says, and I groan. I'm not getting out of this easily.

"Look, we're friends, and that's all. We've never had sex, we've never kissed, we've never even been close to it." I say, hoping to drop the subject because the more I talk about us being friends, makes me feel worse about us being just that. I hate feelings.

The more we've spent time together, the more I've gotten closer to him. I'm aware I like him more than a friend, deep down from the beginning, I knew that but he's not once shown any ounce of attraction towards me. So keeping it purely platonic between us, is how it's going to be. I'm not totally phased by that either because I've said from the beginning that I don't want a boyfriend, I don't and I stand by that. I can't get my heart broken again by a guy. It hurts too much.

"I'm sorry girl, but one day you'll drop down the wall of denial and it will hit you stronger than you think it will. I'm not saying this to be mean, but it's going to happen. We've all seen you two firsthand at that party three weeks ago, and even then, you were looking at each other like you had been together for years already. If you tell us right now that there isn't one single ounce of your body that likes him more than friends, then we'll drop it but we're your friends and you can tell us anything." Hanna says, and I sigh. She's right, I know she is but denial sounds better than getting hurt and having things out in the open.

"He doesn't like me so it doesn't matter, does it? These feelings will leave and we can continue being friends, like I really want to happen. It's not that I even want to be with him because I don't. I've said that I don't want to but apparently my head doesn't really agree with this thing called a heart or whatever." I shrug before floating on my back, I can't look them in their eyes after that.

"You never know." Matt says and I frown up at the ceiling.

"I've been with a guy who faked a love for me. I've been with a guy who lost the love. I've been with a guy who loved me and I didn't love back. I know what it looks like. And he, he doesn't look at me like anything. It's platonic on his end, and honestly I'm glad." I say with a sigh before continuing. "If we were to be together, it would just be horrible. We're so different and that's why we work as friends. In a relationship, I just, no, I can't see it happening. I have trust issues as it is, and I've already heard from people how he has a reputation, I would not be able to handle it. Platonically we're good, and I want to keep this friendship."

"Telling him may help." Lauren says and I laugh, sitting up. Is she serious? She's the one whom is in love with the player that treats her and her heart like shit after her confession. He knows she loves him, but still treats her like shit and she takes it. "No, hear me out. I know I aren't a great example but I can have an opinion. You and Ethan are friends, good friends. He won't just drop you after you telling him, he doesn't seem to be the guy who would do that. If he is, you've skipped a bullet."

"I don't want to ruin things and let it be awkward which it will be after I say that. If, in a hypothetical world, he says he likes me back, I will have to say nothing can come out of it. So, there's no point." I say, shrugging my shoulder.

"What are you scared of? You'll get hurt but you're doing it to yourself, Francesca. You can't live the rest of your life scared of relationships because years ago, you were in a bad one. Your ex, he was immature and a teenager. Isn't Ethan like nearly twenty-one?" Matt asks.

"Yeah, he is, but is it so bad that I have a guard up? That I don't want to get hurt. I mean, I like Ethan but his past track record isn't apparently great. I know I shouldn't listen to other people's opinions but if you're as insecure as I am, it sticks and I can't help that." I say, stressing my point. "Just drop it, we're fine."

"Just know we're all here." Lauren says.

"Yeah, and we're also here if you want us to kick his ass too." Hanna says and I chuckle, nodding.

"You and Ethan would make cute babies though; I'm not going to lie." Matt says and I deadpan.

"Neither of us want children." I say and they all stare at me.

"You've spoke about children yet you are still platonic. I call bullshit on his end." He says before swimming off, and I laugh pushing him down. "Bitch, you can never drown me. I'm iconic."

"Yeah, I'd watch your back, idiot." I say, getting on his literal back and he launches me backwards, so I hold my breath quickly as I enter the water.

"What was that?" He asks before bursting out laughing and I pout, moving my hair out of my face.

~~

My hair is still slightly wet, but I'm glad I took that shower before going to this lecture because I hate the smell of chlorine, especially on me. I'm already a minute late as I walk across the campus, but this teacher is really cool and I'm ahead anyway, so hopefully I won't be in too much trouble.

I have one earbud in, so I'm aware of my surroundings but my feet come to a halt as I see two figures next to the building I'm about to enter. I frown, taking them in. Well at least someone is getting some around here, but outside really?

I'm about to take the stairs when I hear his voice. My heart, it stops as I take it in.

I take a few steps backwards, and that's when I see him. I don't know why I didn't notice before but his tattoo is on show. Ethan is stood there, holding a girl up around his waist with his tongue down some blonde's throat.

My heart clenches and my legs become weak, but I hold myself up. I stay strong. Because at the end of the day, we were just friends, right?

It just hurts to actually see what you knew to be happening anyway, it happen in front of you.

We were just friends. He can do whatever he wants. I lied to my friends, saying that he never looked at me like he liked me because he did, and for nights I would be up thinking about just one look, acting like a teenager. I guess I still am.

All those nights awake talking, words spoken. It meant just a little bit more to me than him. It hurts to know that.

Hurts more than I thought it would.

I look down at my feet before stepping forward, because life keeps moving and I'm still late to class.

I guess feelings just fuck you over even if you're with the person or not.

~~~~~

A/N

Don't hate me. I'm sorry but it had to happen!

This chapter was sad to write because I didn't know how to do it, but it just came to me like this. But please don't hate me for it because the next chapter will be better, I promise.

I hope you're all doing good too and staying safe during this difficult time!

Question of the chapter:

Would you rather be cheated on, or be the cheater?

I'd rather be cheated on because I couldn't do that to someone, I just couldn't. I'm a very honest person and even if it's brutal, I'd rather tell someone it wasn't working than going behind their back. It's a horrible thing, and I'd rather be inflicted the pain than cause it.

Thank you for reading! Please comment your thoughts, vote by pressing the little star, and if you want, you can follow me too. Xx

2133 words!

~B