Yesterday was spent hiding out in the library studying a little, getting ahead because I already have assignments. The main reason as to why I was there was because Matt didn't leave me no choice in the matter since he kicked me out for his booty call. I originally was going to do another shift at work but I really didn't want to risk seeing Ethan again just yet.

After breaking down in front of him on Saturday, I was humiliated to say the least, and I never want to show my face ever again to him, however we take the same class and I am not dropping it because of him.

Overall, I just feel stupid, and my paranoia got the best of me yesterday, so I sat in the massive library, which was full of students, studying.

The library here always reminds me of a movie set; it doesn't look real. The bookcases are dark oak, they scatter every single wall as well as rows, several behind the other. I love reading, and I love silence so it's kind of my favorite place to go when I crave peace.

Aside from my breakdown, I actually had a really good day with Ethan. I laughed, like really laughed for the first time in so long it seemed, and I just felt totally comfortable around him. I wish I did stay longer and watch him fight Felix, but after crying and everything, I just wanted to get in bed and eat ice cream.

Another bonus was, not only did Leah take over my shift, but she also gave me her tips which was so nice of her. I'm not struggling per se; I have around two-hundred dollars in savings. I know I need to work more but college is my priority. If my grades drop, I have the risk of getting my scholarship taken away, and that is the only good thing in my life, so half day Wednesday, Thursday and now Saturday shifts will hopefully do.

Every single cent I earn, I try to put into savings but it's hard when I still need to buy myself food, clothes and gas for my car. My roommates are very aware of my financial issue and help out as much as possible with buying the groceries and essentials, but I hate asking for help or get given handouts because I feel weak for that.

Every single one of my friends are from privileged families; with credit cards that their parents pay for whereas I don't have that. Growing up my mom and dad tried their best but I never had a college fund, I never had any money set aside for me or my future. I tried very hard in high school so I could go to college, but now I'm here, I'm alone trying to save for when I'm out into the real world.

At the beginning of college, my parents tried as best as they could to help me but then mom got pregnant with Emma, so they couldn't no longer. Now there's hospital bills, insurance and so much to pay at home, so I'm the last thought now. I'm twenty, and I need to do this alone but it's just hard when there's a lot going on.

Being an adult sucks kids, never grow up.

If I was to be kicked out of college today, I would be homeless. I wouldn't have anywhere to go. There's too many bad memories back in New Haven. I would literally have to live in my car. I don't think two-hundred dollars would last me the week, so I would inevitably be screwed.

That's a little shocking really... but at least I'm not getting kicked out college. Well that is if I actually turn up to lessons on time. I'm two minutes late to phycology, and for once I'm hoping that Dr Fanon is late today because that would be a disaster. Sorry if I'm a little bit of a suck up and hate being tardy. 

Bursting through the auditorium door, I thank God that she isn't here but silently curse that Ethan is. I was secretly hoping he forgot that he was taking this lesson but alas, he's sitting right where we were last week, wearing a grey tracksuit, his hood up. I can't blame him; I'm wearing joggers and an oversized hoodie with a pajama top on underneath. I told you, I don't dress to impress anyone.

Usually I hate the look of guys in tracksuits because it makes them look like British chavs and that alone does not look appealing... but why does it look good on him?

Is my mind playing tricks on me?

Lazily trenching up the stairs, his face somewhat lightens up when he sees me and he quickly moves his legs off of the chair in front of him.

"Good morning Damsel, you look... tired." He says and I laugh, passing in front of him.

"Well that is because I am, Ethan." I retort, sitting down with a tired sigh. "Basically Matt came home at one AM, I hadn't slept yet because I was reading a piece for one of my classes later today. He was at a party, anyway he got into bed and then proceeded to talk about how aliens were real and they were coming to kill us – I think he may have taken some drugs. I obviously had to explain that he was safe and they weren't going to kill him. But then he brought up the pyramid's and then Stone Henge in England. It was a whole thing. Anyway I only had an hour sleep."

After my ramble, he just looks at me amusement flashing in his eyes.

"I would have just left and slept on the couch to be quite honest with you." He says and I sigh, nodding.

"I wish I had. I feel like I'm the one that went out last night." I murmur, getting my things from my bag. I only carry a small little thing because it does the job and carries what I need... aside from binders.

"So, how are you?" He asks, sounding very awkward. Oh great, here's the talk that needs to happen so we can get past it and act... normal. What even is normal anymore?

"I'm great, how are you?" I ask, looking him in the eye with a tight-lipped smile. I'm definitely overdoing it with the enthusiasm.

"Seriously?" He retorts with an amused look on his face.

"Yes, I'm actually great, Ethan. I'm not as weak as you think I am, you know." I say, somewhat snapping at him unintentionally.

"Since when do I think you as weak? I've never once thought of you that way." He tells me, looking sincere.

"Sorry, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap, I'm just annoyed at myself for being vulnerable like that in front of you, and most likely putting you in an awkward position. I didn't want to do that." I say, rambling off, hoping he doesn't get up and leave me.

"Francesca, can you do me a favor and shut up?" He asks and I blink at him. "I was asking how you are, meaning that I was genuinely interested in how you are feeling. You haven't put me any kind of awkward position, and you shouldn't punish yourself because of what happened. As I said, it's literally normal for someone to get carried away with their thoughts and break, and I still stand by that. I have lost matches because I've let myself get too emotional involved. It's hard to keep a straight mind, and sometimes you get lost in your head."

"It was humiliating for me. Growing up, I didn't cry in front of people; not when I used to fall over, not when I got a bad grade, not even when I saw my ex-boyfriend have sex with someone else. I just watched until it was over. My parents thought I was emotionally detached because I never let myself look vulnerable. I obviously cry in private but never in front of anyone else. You are the only person that has seen me cry... ever and it has happened twice already." I tell him and he gapes at me, looking confused.

"You've never cried in front of people. Not your parents?" He asks and I shrug, sighing. "Should I feel honored here because I do?"

"You're an ass." I groan, a smile making its way to my face.

"Do not try to hide it. I already saw it." He says and I pout at him, probably looking like a child. "Come on, it's a new day. Forget about what happened because I have. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. So, what are your resolutions for this academic year?"

He dropped it just like that. The awkwardness that I created between us, lifted immediately, and we went on the share what we wanted to do/achieve this academic year.

~~

What was the point?

Dr Fanon came in minutes before we were dismissed. I think students only take this class because of her amazing attendance. Really, I do believe it because I'm one of those students.

"So, are you going to blow me off and leave me stranded like last time, or are you going to take me up on my offer and come hang out?" He asks as we leave through the door, and I frown back at him as the halls become very loud from the students.

"You never asked last time." I point out.

"I implied that I wanted to spend time with you." He tells me, and for some reason I can't recall. "Please Francesca. I'm a lonely guy, okay? And I kind of want to get to know you."

"I don't have a class until eleven." I say with a fake sigh, and he smiles at me, wildly. That alone makes me feel happy, seeing him like that.

"Okay, well I have one at ten, but we an hour together. Shall we grab a coffee?" He asks and I nod with a shy smile. This is weird. Francesca does not do this.

~~

"I can't believe that you hate hot coffee. So if I'm correct, on a cold winters day, you will go and order an iced cappuccino?" He asks and I nod, chuckling as we walk through the little park that we have here on campus. It's beautiful in the fall. I love fall, but I'm already missing the summer heat. "Unbelievable."

"It tastes so much better. And I don't hate it. I love all kinds of coffee, but I prefer iced because – as I said – it tastes better." I say, and he groans looking over at me. "You like black coffee so you can shut up with your opinions."

"It's classic." He scoffs.

"It's disgusting!" I exclaim, and he laughs with a roll of his eyes. "It tastes like literal poison."

"Have you tasted poison before, Francesca?" He retorts.

"Non mi piace cosi tanto." I mutter under my breath, and he looks at me in confusion making me laugh. I love speaking Italian; I really do because it confuses people. And I have a feeling that Ethan will never guess that I just said, 'I dislike you so much'. I would have said I hate you, but honestly, I don't. I only hate Matt right now because he deprived me from my beauty sleep.

"So you speak Italian?" He asks.

"Yeah of course, did you think I just had Italian genes?" I ask and he nods with a shy smile. "Both my parents were Italian speakers. I learnt it before English, but now I hardly speak it because well I have no one to speak to who will understand me. I love the language though. I have to admit, I've lost touch with it and I do forget somethings. Like if my parents were to fluently speak to me, I most likely will not understand everything because English is the language, I'm more familiar with now. I know some important phrases though."

"That's interesting. I guess I just concluded because you haven't got an accent that you don't speak Italian which is totally wrong of me. I'm sorry about that." He says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You should be apologizing over the fact you like black coffee, not that you misinterpreted my life." I say and he scoffs, shaking his head.

"Never." He tells me.

"Sei noioso." I mutter.

"Can you at least tell me what you're saying?" He says with a laugh.

"Fine, I just called you boring. And before, I said that I disliked you. I wouldn't take it to heart." I say, and he scoffs dramatically, putting his hand on his heart. So, he's literally taking it to his heart.

"You wound me." He tells me and I smile, trying to hide it as I take a sip of my drink.

"Speaking a different language is fun but it's not at the same time because I haven't got a friend to converse with behind another's back. I bet it would be fun to gossip and no one else know what you're talking about. I never had that." I mumble.

"Yeah but you can mutter things behind peoples backs. Thanks for that by the way." He says and I giggle, looking up at the gorgeous trees. They're all shades of colors. I love fall so much.

"I tell Matt to fuck off all the time, and he thinks it means I love you." I admit and he laughs, like really laughs.

"I feel sorry for the guy." He says with amusement.

"He knows I love him – I mean, if I didn't, I would not put up with half of his shit. Yesterday he kicked me out of our dorm because his booty call was coming over. I was fast asleep but all he did was remind me of what I had said. In the past I threatened to kill him if he ever had sex a meter away from me, and he said touché. We made an agreement that sex was not be had when the other is present; unconscious or not. But I don't have sex in that room. He on the other hand, wakes me up and tells me to vanish for the next couple hours." I ramble, hearing laughs from him at some parts.

"He seems... fun to have as a roommate." He says sarcastically.

"The thing is, he is. I love him and he's my best friend, but he's also the most annoying man I've ever come across. He's a man-child." I try to explain as best as possible, as we walk towards a free bench under a gorgeous tree.

"It's just practice for when you have children of your own." He muses and I groan, showing my distaste as we sit down.

"Not every woman wants children, you know, me being one of them women. I want to live my life fully, and I know I wouldn't be a great mother, so that's never happening because it's not fair on the child. If you don't want children, you don't have to have them." I say, and he nods like he's agreeing with me.

"I don't either, mostly because of my own personal reasons. Growing up, I actually wished that I was aborted. I thought that as a child." He admits and I look at him, my heart breaking. He stares back at me, not looking at all phased by it. "I guess I was one of the unlucky ones. I was born, put into care and then I stayed there, jumping from place to place. You know, I was actually born in California, but I moved so much that I ended up in New Jersey. I was never once visited by a family who may have wanted to adopt or foster me. The people in charge – in my case – were awful and cruel. I know I'm different and most kids do get adopted but still, it fucking sucks so much."

"That's heartbreaking, Ethan." I mumble, and he smiles over at me.

"I don't want you to pity me, because honestly you're just wasting your time and it all worked out in the end. Sure my life was miserable growing up, but now I have a family, and that is Scar. He literally adopted me." He chuckles at the fact.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"Yeah, he really did, as well as Maria, his wife. I was fourteen at the time." He says with a smile, and I can tell that he cares about these people.

"How old are they if you don't mind me asking because I'm intrigued?" I ask and he chuckles, nodding.

"Scar – well Tony but everyone calls him Scar – is thirty-seven, and his wife Maria is thirty-four. Felix is Scar's brother, but he's way younger and goes to college here with us, in fact he's our age. Scar and Maria have twins; a girl and a boy called Kurt and Stevie – after music artists of course." He says and I smile looking up at him.

"They sound like awesome people, especially since they named their children after music artists. I mean, Kurt Cobain and Stevie Nicks, yes. I love that." I enthuse.

"You seem to have a great taste in music." He acknowledges.

"I have the best taste in music." I correct him, and he chuckles smiling at me. "So, you live off campus?"

"If you want the technicalities, the college thinks I'm 'living' on campus since I have a dorm. But I don't, I spend my time at home. It may seem like a lot of people but we live above the gym, it's fucking massive up there. I think there's around six rooms. It's spacious. When I need a break though, I stay on campus because it does get hectic at times, let me tell you." He says with a laugh, and I catch myself simply staring at him with a smile on my face. I just love how he talks about his family.

"That kind of makes sense as to why we haven't really bumped into each other." I mumble.

"Well, I'm in the year above, so it's not really surprising our paths didn't cross... also there is the fact that I didn't stay at my dorm once last year. Funnily enough that morning we met, I was coming from there because I needed to do something with sign in... oh and I have a new roommate – don't get me started on that. But I'm glad we met; you've brought something into my life." He tells me.

"I hope this something is good?" I lighten the somewhat somber mood.

"Definitely. But I am a little hurt that I still don't have your number." He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"You don't need it though because we keep bumping into each other, it's like the universe is telling us that Ethan Kane does not need said number." I say with a tight lip smile, and he stares at me in... amazement? "You'll get it at one point."

"Yeah, whatever Francesca Salatino." He mutters, bumping my shoulder.

"It's the universe, not me." I defend, causing him to laugh and I sigh, smiling at the beautiful nature that surrounds us. "Question."

"Proceed." He chuckles.

"Why would you not want to live on campus? It's none of my business but personally it's the life of the party. There's parties happening every single night of the week. You're surrounded by so much here... and it's beautiful." I enthuse.

"For the first year, I did but it became boring. I still go out and everything but having sleepless nights because there's freshmen partying every single night as you said, it gets tiring. I kind of love silence." He says, shrugging slightly.

"That's understandable; it definitely gets tiring." I agree, kicking my legs out slightly since they don't reach the ground. I'm not short, it's the bench, I swear. I'm five-foot-six. "I get the whole silence thing. It's peaceful but sometimes equally terrifying."

"Can you put a negative spin on everything?" He asks.

"Yep, it's a skill of mine." I say surely, moving my hair out of my face since the wind keeps annoying me with it.

"Here let me." He tucks the piece of hair that keeps bothering me behind my ear and loops it around my messy bun. "That should hopefully work."

"Thank you." I whisper shyly, looking at the people as they walk. I'm blushing, I know I am but I am going to try in all my power for him not to take notice.

"So, um, there's this party this Saturday. It's only a frat party so in other words, totally lame, but it's a birthday of one of my buddies, so I kind of have to go. If you want to maybe swing by, I wouldn't be opposed to that?" He says but it's more like he's asking me to go, and a swarm of butterflies erupt in my body but I push them down. Stupid feelings.

"I'd love to but I really need to focus with school, and I also have work too. But can we raincheck for another time?" I ask.

"Of course, and it will be – as I promised – a real party." He says and I giggle, nodding. I'm glad he handled that rejection well because that wouldn't have been particularly great.

~~~~~

A/N

This is a filler chapter but I really enjoyed writing it – the story has began between the two but we really get into in a couple of chapters time. I hope you stay for the ride, and are enjoying it so far.

Btw I am not an Italian speaker, I went to google for these words - if they're wrong, blame google lol.

Life update: It's currently the 8th of March, and before now, I last wrote on the 24th of February. I've been extremely writers blocked and I couldn't even open my laptop to try because it would just frustrate me. My motivation has been awful but I am trying. I actually wrote this chapter twice. I changed everything. But I finished the version you just read in four hours, so I'm happy about that.

Question of the chapter:

What is your favorite Wattpad book? Tag the author and let me know!

Thank you for reading! Please comment your thoughts, vote by pressing the little star, and if you want, you can follow me too. Xx

3477 words!

~B