I lived a perfect life. Before this happened.

Okay, not perfect. But better.

One day, everyone woke up with the Hanahaki disease.

It's basically, when you love someone who haven't declared their love for you back, you cough up flower petals. Sometimes you even throw up whole flowers. And blood.

So far, over 400 have died.

It's cured either by the one you love loving you back, or a surgery. The surgery cuts out the part of your heart that's connected to your belly (also arrived with the disease) and makes the flowers. The side effect of doing that, you cut away any capability of loving anyone.

Around a thousand has done this. They talk about how the one they love is married to someone else, or is straight, or is gay, or really anything.

Zoe, my previous crush, is cured. It was never a problem with her, cause she and her girlfriend tell each other they love the other every morning.

Jared doesn't love anyone, according to him. Whatever it is, he's not in the hospital.

Neither is Connor...

All four is begging me to tell them who I love. I'm about to die. My mom is also begging me, but I'm too weak now.

I kept it hidden for so long, only for this damned disease to expose me.

I closed my eyes, only to shoot up and reach for the bucket again.

"Magnolia x soulangeana?" The nurse asked, "What does that mean to him?"

"Mean to him?" I heard my mom ask.

"The beginning, it's just flowers he's seen that he thinks is pretty. He's on stage four." She explained, "The flowers have a meaning to him. It might give a hint to-"

"Who he loves..." Zoe muttered.

I shook my head.

"Why don't you want her to know?" My mom asked.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

It was completely silent.

And Jared spoke up. "Because it's not a girl, is it?"

The tears flooded, but I was too tired to sob.

"Do you know who it is?" Someone asked, I couldn't hear who.

"I think so." Jared answered. I heard footsteps approaching me. "Connor?" He whispered. He was close enough and spoke so only I heard.

I managed to nod, barely.

"I won't tell. But I will hint."

I shook my head, "no-" my voice was a mere breath, but I know he heard me.

"I can't let you die, not if there's a chance." He took my hand.

"You know who it is?"

"I do."

"TELL US!" Connor yelled.

"I promised not to." Jared squeezed my hand.

Jared was yanked away from me, and I knew it was Connor, cause he continued to yell, "TELL ME!"

"Why?!"

"HE'S OUR FRIEND! ARE YOU GOING TO LET HIM DIE?!"

"Magnolia x soulangeana." Jared answered just as calmly. "Saucer magnolia. What do you know about it?"

His shoes hit the floor with a thud, and it was silent again.

"What. Do you. Know about it?" Jared asked again.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Connor yelled back, "It's a tree! A flower tree!"

"Have you ever seen one?" Jared, stop!

"Yes, with Evan." Connor calmed more and more, "When we all were in France, the girls were shopping, and he wanted to see this tree outside Paris. So, we went."

It was silent for a long while.

"You're so fucking stupid, Connor." Zoe laughed. "I never thought even you could be this dense!"

"What is it!" Connor seemed desperate for answers.

"Evan has seen his favourite tree once in his life," Alana took over, "with you."

Another long silence.

"Everyone out." Connor whispered.

"No-" they started to protest,

"OUT!" He yelled.

I heard everyone walk out slowly, and the door closed.

I threw up once again. And again, and again, and again.

"Really?" Connor broke the silence. "Throwing up Chocolate Cosmos now?"

His favourite flower...

The tears poured.

"I should've been in a hospital bed as well, you know..." He mumbled. "I know you can hear me, so just... let me finish. I should've been in the hospital too... want to know why I'm not?"

I couldn't nod or shake my head or make a sound.

"I reread my journal, trying to understand why." He got something from his bag. "December 25th." He read, "Evan doesn't celebrate Christmas. But he did let me buy him a present, as I do. He was so excited, as soon as he opened the box, he put the bonsai tree down slowly, and jumped on me.

"On repeat and repeat, he thanked me. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you." But I couldn't hear anything else.

"Evan Hansen told me he loved me.

"It froze my entire world."

It was silent for a long while.

I heard some movement from the side, before something met my lips.

"The one I love have already told me he loves me." Connor whispered. "It's my turn now. I love you, Evan Hansen."

The beeps on the monitor increased.

The door was opened within a second, and what sounded like a billion nurses came through.

"What's going-" Connor was pushed back.

"He's okay. But if we don't help him get the bundle out, it'll choke him." A nurse explained loud enough for me to hear.

"NO! You're not cutting-"

"It's loose." They were far away, "It's loose, but you're supposed to throw it up. His went too far and has grown too big for him to do it on his own. Just let us help him, and you'll be the first one inside again."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

And the door opened and closed.

And the little light I had disappeared.

I woke up to the same annoying beeping.

Beep... beep... beep... beep... beep...

I sat up. The urge to vomit was there, but not even a bit close to what it was before.

Hunger however, that was a problem now.

"Evan..." I turned to the voice, "how are you?"

"Hungry..." My voice was hoarse.

Connor smiled, "I'll get you some real food. Burger king?"

"Would you?"

Oh, how good a burger sounded now.

"Of course, anything specific?"

Oh... I really, really want... "Steakhouse bacon king?"

"Single or menu?"

"Could I get a menu?"

"Of course," He smiled, and left.

He came back with only one bag from the fast food shop.

He handed me the bag.

My menu and... "Your food?"

"I ate on the way here." He lied.

I gave him a look.

"I don't eat a lot." He tried to shrug.

"A few bites of my burger?" I held it in front of his face.

"Fine..."

He took it and took a bite.

"There's BBQ on this?" I nodded. He chewed his bite and took another one.

I smirked and ate a fry. He handed me the burger, and I began to eat as well.

"Now that your mouth is full, you can't stop me from talking." Connor grinned.

Where's this going?

"You're so handsome, and I love you so much. You're absolutely adorable, and I can listen to your voice forever. Talking about trees, singing, muttering to yourself when you concentrate, I just melt by the sound of it. You are not fat, you can't be fat, you have fat. You're a bit chubby, and I love it so much. Because you're healthy. And as someone with my life, I see that as something so sexy."

I was redder than anything, hiding my face in my hands, the burger already in paper, and me trying to shush him.

"I love your eyes. They're so beautifully blue, like Forget me not's."

"Stop it." But my voice failed me.

"And that's why~"

"You did NOT-"

And a bouquet of Forget me not.

I blushed even more.

"Evan?" He asked, almost concerned. "Evan, you need to calm down, the heart monitor-"

He was cut off by a nurse throwing the door open.

"He's okay! I just brought him flowers." Connor said in defence.

She looked so annoyed with him, then broke out in laughter. "Could be worse, I guess." She smiled.

"How?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

"The same happens when a person orgasm. Walked in on that a few times too."

Why didn't I just die...

The nurse left.

"Oh, are you pouting?" Connor teased.

"Yes." I turned away from him.

The bed moved, he sat down.

"Evan~" I felt his arms around me.

Do. Not. Blush. Now.

"Evan~!"

No.

"I luv yooooooo!" He mumbled into my shirt.

"You birch!" I turned around and kissed him. "I don't like to blush."

"I don't particularly enjoy being hard, but just seeing you does that to me. I think it's fair that I make you blush."

"ASSHOLE!"

I hid my face in his shirt this time.

He was laughing. It was so beautiful and clear.

No, it wasn't. It was a happy laugh. An uncaring laugh. He even snorted. That's what made it so beautiful.

He calmed ad hugged me.

"I love you too" I whispered back. "I really, really, really really really do."

"I love you." Connor said once again. "Now kiss me, you dork."