1st Day of School

This is inspired from my 1st day of our school. Which was today...So hehe. Also since I live in a different country the school is a little different. You have sections, in which you have classmates and you stay in 1 room only. So we only go out our classroom whenever we have special subjects like Computer,Music, ect. 

~Keep on a look out for Hamilton references! :D Good Luck 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Evan's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First day of school! Honestly, as much as possible mom said that I have to be positive, in which I am trying to be. So I write letters to myself saying that today's going to be a good day. It was an assignment given to me by my therapist. Even though it's kinda weird, it actually helps some times. I feel like I'm really receiving letters from other people. 

I grabbed my laptop and decided to write my letter for today. 

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today is going to be a good day and here's why:      Because today you have a fresh new start. You might even make new friends! You can do this, I know you can. Study hard as well, if you want a good future for yourself and your future family.

I smiled at the thought of Connor; he's been my crush since grade three. Students would sometimes say that we would look cute together. He never said anything to acknowledge it, he just smiles. I'm not really sure what that means. Although, I did really love that smile, it was cute and adorable. But facing the facts, I know I have no chance with him.

Don't forget, Connor's your classmate! Just hope that he would be assigned sitting next to you for the rest of the school year. That would be so awesome. If not then, at least somewhere near you. Good luck though, it's obviously hard to move when he can see you.

I just suddenly realized that I was talking a lot about Connor in this letter, so I probably should this stop now.

Sincerely, me

I closed my laptop, adding a note to myself that I'll just print it in school later. I grabbed my USB flashdrive which the file was in and walked out of my room. Sadly, we're not allowed to use gadgets in school. So I always leave my phone at home. I usually just walk to school because it's just really near by.

I grabbed the new things that I was about to use for the school year and decided to leave. "Good luck on your first day of senior year, honey. I hope you'll start the first day right. Make sure to take your meds!" Mom said, I nodded and hugged her. Then I wave goodbye. I walk out of my house and walk to my room.

I arrived in school, Here we are. I try to avoid eye contact with the other students, I wouldn't want to socialize with other people. It makes me very anxious and nervous. How do you even start a conversation? I mean yeah you say ''hi'' then the person says ''hello'' but what comes next?

You would try to start to say something or else they'll think your weird or rude or something. I was thinking too hard and I accidentally bumped into someone loosing my balance. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I-I w-wasn't looking w-where I w-was going a-and~" I said not looking at the person.

"No no it's ok really, here let me help you." I recognize that voice...Oh my God no how could I bump into... Him?!

He helps me pick up my books and stands up. "Here" He hands me my stack of books. I made eye contact and held his hands, a way to get my book with physical contact from crush. The suddenly I realized what I was doing and decided to grab my books and look away immediately.

He looked at my arm and noticed my cast. "What happened to your arm?" He asked. I-NEED-TO-QUICKLY-THINK-OF-AN-EXCUSE- QUICK!!! "Well...I uh.." I looked at my blank white cast. "I fell out of a tree." I said looking down, awkwardly. "Well that is just the saddest f*ck*ng thing I ever heard." He replied. I laugh nervously. "Y-yeah." 

"Nobody's...Singed your cast?" I suddenly remembered my mom wanted me to ask other students to sign my cast. "Yeah..." I replied. "Well I sign it." He said, I just stared at him in shock. I mean I wanted someone to sign my cast, but never actually thought the love of my life will sign it!

"Oh No no you don't have to." I said smiling nervously and looking down. "Do you...Have a sharpie?" He asked, I grabbed a sharpie from my pockets and giving it to him. He grabbed my arm almost too fast, which made my arm hurt a little.

"Ow..." I said trying not to sound weak. But it honestly hurt a little.He looked at me wit apologetic eyes. Aww it looks so adorable...I uh I mean...yeah yeah ok let's just g on with this. After a few seconds he finally finished. "There, now we can both pretend that we are friends." He said as I looked at his name on my cast.

"Oh...Good." I said nervously. PRETEND? FRIENDS? Those words hurt you know. first of all I don't want to pretend. Second am I in the friend zone? ouch.

"Your Evan Hansen right? You're my classmate for this school year?" He asked. I nodded quickly. I looked at him again, he smiles "Y-You have someone to walk with? It's kinda awkward for me to walk alone to our classroom." he asked nervously. I never thought he can be nervous AND ask me to company him. 

"YES! I-I mean y-yeah sure..uhm...why not?" I asked. Gosh I'm so awkward. He smiles and we both walked to our classroom. See this is what I'm talking about, I have no idea what to talk about? How do you start a conversation with your crush when you have social Anxiety and you shouldn't stutter and embarrass yourself.

"So, How was summer?" He asked. Oh good I don't have to start a question. "W-well Uh...It was f-fine. Except for the part I broke my arm...But yeah it was fine." I said looking down awkwardly. We arrived in our classroom and I sat at the very back. He sat right next to me. "Mind if I sit with you? I just have no one to seat with."

Honestly, same. Whenever the seat arrangement isn't planned and we can seat anywhere, nobody would sit beside me. Something I got used to, I guess I'm just too weird for them I guess. But Connor deserves many people sitting with him.

The class then started and the adviser came in introducing herself. She was my math teacher when I was still in grade 7. And I knew she's a nice teacher so thank goodness. She assigned our seats. Sadly we were supposed to be seated by class numbers so I was in front of Connor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Connor's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made a new friend. That could probably change my life, for forever. I still can't believe I had the courage to talk to him though. But I want to try to be tougher than usual this year, and that's by starting to talk to Evan. 

It's a challenge to talk to someone who has social anxiety. It's going to be a little bit awkward, not that I'm complaining. He's adorable every time he stutters...Wait what? Somehow I've developed this slight attraction to him, although I would never admit why should I?

I wasn't that lucky enough to be assigned to seat beside him though. But I have a pretty good view of his back. I got bored by our adviser's rules and regulations, so I decided to sketch.

I couldn't think of anything to draw. So I just looked around,looked around. And saw Evan listing down notes on his notebook, or at least I think he is. He looks like the type of student who listens and follows the rules. I like how innocent he is.

So yeah I made mt decision and drew Evan on my skecth book. I tried to think of ways to make me seat next to Evan so I can get a good look at him better. Then an idea popped in my head. I now know what to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~After Class~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Evan!" I shouted getting his attention. When he saw me he made an innocent and nervous smile. "Hi C-Connor." He said nervously. I can't  blame him, with his social anxiety and what not. I put my arms around his shoulder and we started walking.

 I never had any real friends so I was honestly really clingy to people so this is like a friendship thing...right? I love him being here beside me. It makes me feel somehow protected.

We hang out together the whole break. Today's  the first day  of school so we only have half day. I'm now regretting 'liking it's half day' because I want to hang out with Evan more.

Dismissal time and I have to talk about my teacher real quick about my seating place.  "Uhm ma'am?" I said with a fake smile on my face trying to look like a goody two shoes. It was horrible. "Yes?" She asked. "May I request to exchange seats? My eyes are a little blurry and I need to get close to the board just a little" I said.

 Our adviser is a very nice person. She seems like the type to be gullible, I'm risking this for Evan. "Sure, where would you like to sit?" She said looking at the searing arrangements. "Well...beside Evan Hansen would be perfect for me." I said a small bead of sweat going down my forehead. She raised an eyebrow Oh gosh Oh gosh oh gosh. 

"Ok we'll see what I can do tomorrow." She said I sighed in relief and thanking her. I hope tomorrow's going to be different. A good different that is...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Ok so I will be continuing this because like I said this was inspired from my first day of school. Ish...I don't really like my crush that much anymore ( if I told u about my crush no it's not THAT person it was a different one :> it was waaay before in which I never told anyone online xD )

So uhm some of the scenes here didn't really happen in real life obviously, I just placed some stuff in there to make it have the feels of DEH. 

But yes I did request for a new seat, but not because my eyes are blurry. It was because I was small and my last name starts with 'T' so I'm like in the last seat. I realized that Connor is very tall and doesn't have to complain about being seated at the back. So yeah...hehe

K so how was this though? I'm not sure if it's good...Pretty sure it's not and it's kinda cliche, but like I said...I love cliche when it comes to gay stuff hehehehehehe 

Buh-Bye! 

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