I wish this was all some nightmare. I wish that I could pinch myself and I could wake up right now.

But that's not the way it is.

I've learned from experience that this is real life.

I've been through the pain of reality.

Quite literally.

"Jack, do you want to spend some time alone in here?" His mother asks.

"I- sure..." I reply, lifting my head up and sniffing hard.

Tears were still streaming rapidly down my face.

They all leave the room and I stand next to the bed beside Mark.

"Mark... I- I'm sorry... This is all my fault..." I start sobbing again, I drop my head onto Mark's stomach.

"I don't want you to die... Just please come back to me... Please."

I kept on checking the heart monitor, every five seconds I would peek at it just to make sure nothing was going wrong.

"Mark... You're my best friend... I should've listened to you... I should've answered your texts... I shouldn't have made you so worried about me..."

I then look down at my own arms. They were covered in scars and cuts.

Some are actually from me.

Brad didn't do this all to me, he did most of it, but some of the cuts, I did myself.

I couldn't take this sobbing anymore.

I needed to take care of this.

"I'm sorry Mark."

I then rush over to the bathroom. I quickly grab the nearest sharp object I could find.

"Oh yeah, I brought a razor..." I remind myself.

I dig through my pocket, then I pull out the razor and break it.

"I won't die from this... But I sure will feel pain..." I say before slicing the razor across my wrist.

I made sure that the cut didn't go too deep, so that I wouldn't pass out.

It wasn't flowing too much, but it did start flowing all over my arm and down the drain.

I still had slight tears streaming down my face.

I take a deep breath, I felt a little better now.

The bleeding had stopped on its own, wow I was weak with that cut.

I left it to do some scarring, then walked back out to Mark's bed.

"Mark, I know you can't hear me. But you can get through this. You are strong, just please come back to me. Come back to Jack. The green haired Irishman that you love so much." I say, starting to tear up looking at what appeared to be Mark's lifeless body.

"Mark... I love you." I sigh, then with a deep breath, I lean down and kiss him.

I make it a long kiss, even though he can't feel or see it.

As soon as I break it apart, I smile and sigh. "I wish you were mine, but I have no way to tell you..."

Then, there was a long beeping noise.