Parties have never really been my scene.

I think that I felt like they were never that much fun in high school since I wasn't about to do anything illegal like drink before I was 21, so when I actually turned 21, I didn't know how parties worked.

But this one. This one party was the turning point for my entire life. Everything about myself came together that night. Everything I wanted to be. I saw girls wearing clothes I wished I was confident enough to wear. I saw guys hitting on girls who were far too ugly for them, which seemed like the type of confidence I didn't quite want, but it was better than what I had. I saw people who were so far into the world of parties and being drunk on a Tuesday morning that I wished I could simultaneously never see them again and also...be them.

Everything about this party was something I desperately wanted to be a part of. And I was. For that night.

That night I vowed to make that my normal.

><><

"Robin! You made it!"

The party was already in full swing by the time the three friends arrived at 10:19 PM, and Rebecca was pretty sure that was due to the sheer amount of liquor that was strewn in every direction as far as the eye could see. There were at least sixty people in the living room and kitchen spaces, and the music was playing at a volume that Rebecca was sure would make her go deaf before the night was through.

"Rebecca." She corrected Kennedy quickly, hoping her friends hadn't heard the misstep. "Thanks for inviting me." She turned towards where Celeste and Spencer were standing slightly behind her. "These are my friends, Celeste and Spencer. I've known them since high school."

"It's so great to meet you!" Kennedy gushed, giving each of them a hug individually. Rebecca found herself staring at this girl with a mixture of awe and confusion: she was gorgeous. Completely, drop-dead gorgeous, without even seeming to try at all. Yet she was so genuinely kind to these strangers who she had never met and to a girl she had helped off the floor at the gym after she had fallen off of a treadmill. "Make sure to get a drink and find someone you don't know to talk to, I am not about to have wallflowers at one of my parties."

"Deal." Celeste grinned, meeting Rebecca's eyes and nodding towards a 6'4" guy with long hair who was milling around across the room. "I would love to meet some new people here."

Kennedy laughed and pointed out where the bathrooms were before making a final comment:

"Also, remember that if you see anything suspicious or weird, be sure to come and tell me. Safety is so important, and I want everyone—especially girls—to feel like they can come here without worrying about their drinks being drugged."

Rebecca nodded her agreement with that statement before walking over to the kitchen and aiming for the snacks. She had never had a drink before, except for a glass of wine at her mom's last birthday dinner, and she didn't feel like it was the right time to start.

"So are you bruised at all from this morning?"

Rebecca nearly jumped out of her skin at Kennedy's voice in her ear, spilling the pretzels she was holding. She spun around and looked at the other girl quickly, glancing down at the spilled snacks in embarrassment. Kennedy looked down and laughed again.

"Don't worry about it, there's so much shit on this floor already." She shrugged, "Sorry for scaring you, though. I just wanted to double check that everything was okay."

Rebecca nodded quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think my knees might be a little torn up, and there might be a bruise forming on my forehead somewhere, but other than that I should be fine."

"You totally just said 'fine' twice in the same thought, which everyone knows means you're not actually fine." Kennedy grinned, grabbing a bottle of whatever was closest and taking a sip, "You sure you're not like dying or something?"

Rebecca laughed, trying to conceal the fact that her head felt like it could explode at any given moment.

"I'm honestly fine. I mean, good. Great, even." She was overcompensating and she could feel it, but there was no going back at that point. "In fact, I've never felt better."

Kennedy tipped her head to the side, a small smile on her face.

"Well, when you decide to stop lying to me, just let me know." She laughed again. Why did she laugh so much? It was so distracting, so terribly but wonderfully distracting. Rebecca was pretty sure her own laugh sounded like a cow trying to laugh. Or a horse. Or a goat. Or any animal that nowhere near resembled a human being. But Kennedy's laugh was the type of laugh that would be expected from someone like her, someone who had everything in life and needed nothing else. But still continued to get everything possible.

Rebecca grinned, feeling it a bit forced, but not altogether forced, which was a stray from the norm. She was very conscious not to laugh. She didn't want to sound like a braying donkey next to Kennedy.

"Whatever." She laughed, all of a sudden worrying that she sounded like she was flirting with her. What was it about being around people who she assumed would never give her a second glance that had Rebecca second guessing every move she made?

Kennedy looked like she was about to say something before someone called her name from the other side of the room and she made eye contact with them, her focus switched away from Rebecca.

"I'll catch you in a little bit, okay?" Kennedy gave Rebecca another smile before sliding past her to run and talk to someone else. "Go make some friends and get a drink!" She called over her shoulder before disappearing into the throng of people.

Rebecca nodded, whether to herself or to Kennedy she was unsure. She looked to her left and saw a can of something that didn't look to terribly poisonous, so she grabbed one, opened it, and took a sip.

It tasted like yeast. Like bitter, old yeast in liquid form that had somehow had the terrible misfortune of ending up on Rebecca's taste buds. She felt her lips make an unfamiliar shape at the taste and hoped that no one could see her wanting to actually die.

But Kennedy had told her to get a drink, so she was going to do just that. Suck it up and drink this terrible drink until she felt like she belonged at this party. Someone else could be the DD. It was fine. Rebecca didn't need to be in charge of her own thoughts or actions. It was about time she experienced some sort of real college experience...right?

She took her can and walked out into the living room, where couches had been pushed far against the walls to make room for the people who were drunkenly moving from side to side instead of actually dancing. There were a few colorful lights strewn over the floor, some of which had already been stepped on and broken, resulting in shards of glass covering specific areas that Rebecca was sure to avoid.

She took another sip of her drink. It still tasted terrible, but at least this time she had been expecting it.

"Hey, what's your name?"

Rebecca turned around at someone tapping her shoulder, looking up to see the guy that Celeste had been eyeing earlier: 6'4", long wavy blonde hair and a soft smile that Rebecca found herself instantly in love with.

"Rebecca." She replied, hoping that she could remember her own name. "Rebecca Eames. Eaves. Rebecca Eaves."

"Nice to meet you, Rebecca Eaves." He grinned and took her free hand in one of his, spinning her around once before pulling her closer towards him. She jumped slightly when her head hit his chest, bouncing off and stepping back a few inches. "I'm Drew Gardner."

Rebecca nodded slowly, still mesmerized by this guy's smile that never seemed to leave his face. His teeth were slightly crooked, but you would only be able to tell if you were staring at them, as Rebecca most definitely was. Who wouldn't?

The music kept playing, louder and louder, as Drew started dancing with her and Rebecca felt herself wondering where Celeste was. Hadn't she wanted to talk to this guy? Or...not talk to him?

"What's wrong?" Drew asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"You literally only said your name." Rebecca replied loudly, "How would that be wrong?"

Drew grinned.

"You're feisty. I like that."

And he had been so close.

Rebecca made an excuse before detaching her hand from his and walking back towards the kitchen, where there were lights that weren't broken, and guys didn't refer to girls by gendered words like 'feisty.' She took another sip of her drink, surprised to feel that it was over halfway gone. She didn't like it, but it was in her hand, so it kept being drunk.

"You looked like you were getting along with that guy!" Celeste came up to Rebecca as she tried to figure out where she could get more pretzels from and eat them while holding her cup. "And since when do you drink beer?"

Rebecca shrugged in response to both comments.

"He called me 'feisty.' Not a fan. And I don't know about the beer, I just kind of picked something up that was sealed shut before I got it."

"Smart." Celeste nodded, "And sorry about the guy. I know how you are with the feminism stuff. No female words, right?"

Rebecca resisted the urge to roll her eyes and tell Celeste that it was so much more than 'feminism stuff.'

"Yeah, no female words." She agreed, "I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe the next guy."

Celeste nodded before looking behind Rebecca.

"Dude Kennedy is coming back. She is so hot. Why don't I look like her?"

"Beats me." Rebecca muttered, downing the rest of her beer and setting the can back down on the counter. She took a deep breath and turned around to see Kennedy making a beeline for Rebecca and Celeste.

"I hope you guys are having a good time." She said, coming to a stumbling halt directly in front of Rebecca, "And Rebecca, I had the best idea. You should come and play volleyball with me and some friends tomorrow morning. I swear it is the best hangover cure and will totally make you feel like a new person afterwards. What do you say? I'll pick you up around 10?"

Rebecca nodded, feeling her head start to go fuzzy in the corners. Did heads have corners? "I would love to. Sounds like fun. I'll text you my address."

"Rad." Kennedy grinned, "I gotta go make sure that Doug isn't cheating on Lyla and I'll be right back."

Rebecca and Celeste both nodded as the host ran off in the other direction, shouting if anyone had seen someone named Doug going into a bedroom. Celeste turned to Rebecca as the latter pulled out her phone and started typing.

"Don't you have work at 10:00 tomorrow morning?" Celeste asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Not anymore." Rebecca shrugged, hitting 'send' on her text to her boss.

Hey Cindy. I got the stomach bug tonight and won't be able to come in to work tomorrow. Don't wanna get the customers sick. I'm sorry!

Celeste raised her eyebrows after reading the message.

"You never skip work."

Rebecca laughed, the fuzziness of the corners of her head starting to spread towards the middle.

"First time for everything, right?"

A/N: If you're into reading blog posts, feel free to check out mine from yesterday! It's all about finding the motivation to write every day and how I manage to fit in writing with the rest of my schedule. It's up on my blog, https://www.kpmblog.wixsite.com/shelfawareness (also external link to this chapter) so check it out! And let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

-Katherine