5 ~ Exploration


We all appointed Cosimo to be our tour guide, since he argued that he had the most knowledge of where all the fun things to do in the city were. We started our adventure by walking around Little Italy. This was a part of the city that I felt the most at home at, considering I lived right in the neighborhood. We even passed my mom's restaurant as we were walking. The boys wanted to stop in and say hi, but I told them my mom would most likely force them to eat a seven-course meal before they left and we didn't have enough time in the day for that. 

We stopped into a deli/bakery Cosimo and Lucio went in to buy bread and deli meat for later. We were all looking at the selection of delicious-looking deli meats, cheeses, and pastries, when Amedeo got a call. He stared down at his phone and held up a finger to us. "Give me a second." He walked out of the store and started talking. What I heard before the door closed behind him was all in Italian. I looked at him through the window and noticed that he looked pretty upset. There was a big frown on his face and his eyes were permanently fixed on the ground. I was a bit worried about what these frequent phone calls meant for him. 

"Do you want any bread, Daniela?" Cosimo asked me, two loaves of rosemary focaccia in his hands. I gave him a quizzical look. He shrugged. "What? I like bread." I smiled. "I'm good, thanks." He nodded and went back to the counter, likely to grab some more food. Lucio had been studying the case of pastries in the corner with a look of desire on his face. The boy sure did like his sweets. He called the owner over and started ordering pastries to take home. He looked at me and brought me over to the case. "See anything you like? I'll get it for you." I shook my head. "No, I'm okay!" As soon as the words had left my mouth, I saw some mouth-watering cannoncini filled with nutella staring back at me from the case. It was like they were calling my name. Lucio chuckled. "And two nutella-filled cannoncini, please." I looked up at him in protest. He shook his head. "Non c'è di che." Don't mention it. I smiled at his generosity. "Thanks, Lucio." He nodded at me and went to pay for his food. 

As I was about to follow them, I looked out the window to check on Amedeo. He was no longer on the phone. He had his back turned to the window and it looked like he had one hand over his mouth and the other on his hip. His head was bent down to look at the ground. I frowned. Something definitely wasn't right with him. "I'll be right outside, ragazzi." Lucio and Cosimo turned to look at me, but I was already heading out the door. 

I slowly approached Amedeo, standing next to him il silence. He didn't look at me once. "Is everything okay?" I now realized he had never even noticed me standing there. He whipped his head around to look at me, a little startled. "Oh, Daniela." He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." I tilted my head and raised a brow. "Are you sure? It looks like something's wrong." He shook his head. "No need to worry, I'm good." He had the fakest smile plastered on his face. I refused to let him be miserable by himself. I approached the situation tactfully. "You can talk to me. I'm a pretty good listener." I offered. He waved his hand. "No need." He put his hands in his pockets and looked straight out into the distance. I crossed my arms and frowned even more. "Amedeo." I said, my tone a bit firm. He looked back at me. I didn't have to say anything to tell him I wasn't leaving without knowing why he was upset. "You can tell me." 

I broke the barrier. Amedeo's lower lip quivered a bit, but he just groaned and rubbed his eyes with his hands. "It's my nonno."  He barely spoke. He crossed his arms and sighed, looking down at the ground. "He's been in pretty bad shape for some time. He's been sick for a few years now and has been going downhill ever since. The doctors say it's only a matter of time." He shuddered. "It's actually the reason I moved to San Francisco. I had been living on my own for a while not too far from my parents, but when I heard from my nonna how nonno was doing so bad, I knew I wanted to be here to live out his last few years with him." A sad smile spread across his face. "The day of the auditions was the first time I did something without my nonno. I had usually gone with him everywhere. I'm just so scared I'll miss the opportunity to..." He stopped speaking and cleared his throat. His breath was shallow. "There was another health scare today. That's what my nonna just called me about. They had to take him to the emergency room. I guess he's home and fine right now, but I just get so worried. I'm really close with him and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose him." I saw tears form in his eyes that threatened to spill out at any moment. He covered part of his face with his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm putting a damper on our day out." 

I had never been the greatest at expressing my feelings through words. I always worried about saying the wrong things or offending someone. But right now, Amedeo needed someone to be there for him. And that someone would be me. I walked up to him and hugged him tightly. Amedeo stepped back a bit but steadied himself and me. He slowly brought his arms around me and hugged me tighter than I ever thought he would. He buried his face in my shoulder and held me closer. I gently rubbed his back, feeling him shudder in my arms. "Don't apologize for your feelings, Amedeo. This is a hard thing to go through. I'm sure you're a wonderful grandson and I'm sure your nonno loves and appreciates you very much. I'm sorry you have to go through this." We stayed locked in that hug for a while. 

He finally pulled away, but he didn't let go of me just yet. I saw tears staining the corner of his eyes. "Thanks, Daniela. I really needed that." He looked me in the eyes, our faces only a few inches apart. He gently brought his hand to my head and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. He focused on my hair, then moved his attention to my eyes. "You're one of the best things that happened to me since I moved here." I felt a tugging in my chest. Amedeo looked so vulnerable in this moment. He lingered his eyes on my face, looking down at my lips. What was he thinking right now? 

The sound of a ringing bell pulled us back to reality. Cosimo and Lucio walked out of the store, holding bags full of food like proud kings who had won the war and taken many spoils. "We're back!" Lucio called. Amedeo let me go and stood a few feet away from me. His eyes never once left me. Cosimo arched an eyebrow. "Were we interrupting something here?" He asked, a bit suspiciously. Amedeo and I both shook our heads. "No, Daniela was just helping me through some things." Lucio and Cosimo looked at him inquisitively. Amedeo just nodded his head. They both seemed to understand what he had told me as their gaze settled back onto me. They both came up to me and smiled. "He must really trust you, Daniela." Lucio told me. I glanced back at Amedeo, expecting to find him looking down at the floor again. But that was no longer the case. Now, his attention was just on me. I smiled and gestured for him to come along. "There's still much fun to be had." Amedeo smiled and walked with us to the next destination. 

"Ghirardelli!" Cosimo yelled loudly as we stood in front of the brightly illuminated Ghirardelli sign. He had his arms up in the air like he was praising it. "The best place on earth." He told us like it was a fact. We all laughed and shrugged our shoulders. I guess Cosimo really liked chocolate. We walked into the store and were transfixed by all the chocolate machines hidden behind glass windows. It was so satisfying to see the melted chocolate being mixed, poured, and made right in front of our eyes. It was like the best museum display ever. Despite just having picked up pastries and bread, we started to look at a menu to see if there was anything we wanted. Cosimo pointed to the banana split sundae on the menu. "We're getting that!" He announced. "If we share, Cosimo gets to eat last." Lucio said. Cosimo pretended to be offended. "Why do I go last?" He asked. Amedeo gave him a look. "Because otherwise, you eat the whole thing in one bite." He turned to me. "The first time I came here, we all ordered the sundae. I don't think I even tasted one bite before Cosimo ate the whole thing." Cosimo gasped. "How dare you?" He pointed at Amedeo. Cosimo looked at me. "I would never, they're liars." He glared at the two. "I'm going to go order, just go get a table." He commanded them. They both went to pick out a table, but I stayed with Cosimo. "I'll order with you so you're not alone." Cosimo smiled at me gratefully. "That's why you're my favorite." 

We went to the counter and ordered the sundae. "That'll be ready in about 10-15 minutes." The server told us. We thanked her and got our receipt with our order number on it so that we could wait and listen for our number to be called. Cosimo took my hand in his. "Here, I want to show you something." I followed him to a little corridor where there were framed pictures of the founder of Ghirardelli himself, stirring a huge vat of chocolate. There was a bunch of history facts next to the pictures as well. We walked down the little chocolate museum hall, until Cosimo stopped, fixating on one picture in particular. It was of the sundae we ordered. Once you read the text next to it, you realized it was the first sundae that was made at this store. He let go of my hand and stepped closer to the picture. "You know, I ordered this for a reason." He no longer was happy or smiling. He was lost in the picture, a look of wistfulness on his face. I stepped closer to him. "You did?" He nodded, a sad smile passing over his face, just like the one Amedeo was wearing outside of the deli.

"This was where my mom used to take me when I was little. Every Wednesday after school, this is where we'd go. We'd get the banana split sundae." He laughed. "I remember always getting chocolate all over my face. She would just clean me up with a napkin and laugh. Wednesdays were the day I looked forward to all week." His face returned to a state of sadness. "We didn't go so much when she got sick. I was in high school, so sometimes I would stop here on the way home from school and get the sundae to eat with her at home. She would be resting in bed a lot." He let out a sad chuckle. "She always apologized for not being able to do things with me anymore, but I wouldn't hear any of it. She was still my mom, and I didn't need her to do anything to sap what little strength she had left." He put a hand over the picture. "That's why I'm so silly and downright stupid sometimes. I like to make people laugh. It's my way of making sure the people around me have a good time, but it's also my way of staying happy. I would always try to make my mom laugh, even on the darkest days." He looked down at the floor, hand still on the picture. "I stopped coming here for a long time after she died." It was like a brick was dropped in my stomach. Now I knew why Cosimo had looked so pensive that day at the restaurant after Lucio said that comment about us being raised by good mothers. It probably reminded him of his own mother.

He looked at me, finally taking his hand off of the picture. "But time heals all wounds. I got better. I met Lucio and Cosimo, and we eventually all came here together. I still remember the first time I was able to eat that sundae with them without sobbing." He laughed. "A bit pathetic, I know, but it was impressive to me back then. Now, the sundae doesn't make me sad anymore. It just reminds me of all the good memories I had with my mom." He stopped and chuckled. "I'm sorry, I went off on a tangent there. I just feel so comfortable talking with you." The look of surprise and sadness stayed on my face as he told me his story. I couldn't believe someone so happy and carefree had experienced such a terrible tragedy like this. I felt for him in a way I never had before. 

I reached out and took hold of his hand. He looked at our hands, then back at me. "You are such a strong person, Cosimo. I never would have guessed something like this happened to you. Your mom raised a wonderful person and I'm sure she saw that. I'm glad that you can come here without being in pain anymore. I'm glad you healed, because you became an amazing person." Cosimo looked at me with such appreciativeness. It was a look I hadn't seen on his face before. With no smiles, chuckles, or laughs, he pulled me close to him and gave me a hug. "You're going to make me cry." He said, hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back. "I just hope you realize what a good person you are." I told him. I didn't know where I was finding these words, they were just coming to me. I guess it's what I truly felt about him. He pulled back, but not all the way. We were still very close. He smiled at me. "Ditto." His face turned serious, but not in a bad way. He was studying me. "I'm not trying to be funny or charming when I tell you that you're amazing, Daniela. I've never met anybody like you before." He reached out to put a gentle hand on my face. I blushed madly. He was acting different. He rested his hand on my face for a good few seconds before our number was called. "Number 6! Your banana split sundae is ready!" 

Cosimo slightly smiled and let me go, removing his hand from my cheek. "Good thing they called us. I might have done something embarrassing there." He took the lead in walking back to the counter. I felt both of my cheeks with my hands. Definitely red and hot. What did he mean by doing something embarrassing? And what was with the way he was looking at me? I decided to push all silly thoughts out of my head and just focus on the sundae-eating experience. I couldn't help but look at Cosimo differently, though. What a strong person. Cosimo got the sundae, graciously thanking the lady behind the counter and winking at her like the charmer he was. She seemed to be quite taken in by his little display, but who could blame her?

We located Lucio and Amedeo sitting at a table near the window, talking about something that sounded important. "And he's doing alright now?" I heard Lucio ask. I sucked in a sharp breath. I immediately knew what they were talking about. Amedeo nodded. Despite the situation and the look on his face, he didn't seem as depressed as before. "Yeah, nonna told me he's just been sleeping since he got home. She said not to worry and just to have a good time with you guys since he's fine now." Lucio patted him on the back. "We'll try and take your mind off it." Amedeo smiled. "You know, Daniela really helped me. She was so nice. You should've seen her." I felt my cheeks heat up at the mention of my name. I almost wanted to hide behind another table to hear the rest of their conversation, but that would definitely be weird. Especially since Cosimo and I were now standing in front of the table. 

Lucio and Amedeo nudged each other to stop talking and immediately changed the subject. "Welcome back!" Lucio said, a bit too loudly. The boys fixated on the sundae in Cosimo's hands, making an ooooh sound as he set it down in front of them on the table. Cosimo and I scooted into the seats across from Lucio and Amedeo. Cosimo took a few folded napkins full of cutlery from the table and handed us each a spoon to eat with. "Alright, I think it's only fair that Daniela gets the first bite." He announced, right as Lucio and Amedeo had their spoons in the air, ready to dig in. I turned to look at him. "Why me?" He smiled. "Because this is your first time trying this, right?" I nodded. He gestured to the sundae. "That's reason enough! Besides, you're a lady, and ladies go first." I chuckled at the sentiment. He smiled even more. "And because you really helped out Amedeo today." Amedeo's eyes widened, but he eventually smiled. Cosimo leaned in closer to me. "And because you helped me out too." He whispered in my ear. 

All three of the boys were now staring at me, waiting for me to take the first, golden bite of the ice cream. I dug my spoon in and collected a bit of the ice cream on the tip of my spoon. I was about to bring the spoon to my mouth when Cosimo grabbed it away from me. "What a pathetic scoop! Here." He put my spoon back and piled on the ice cream, including some of the melted chocolate, banana, and whipped cream. My spoon went from being half full to holding a huge mountain of the ice cream. I looked at it, feeling intimidated. "You expect me to eat that all in one bite?" I asked, my eyes wide. Cosimo smirked. "Unless you're chicken." Lucio and Amedeo oohed from across the table. 

I narrowed my eyes at him. This meant business. I grabbed the spoon away from him with gusto and somehow shoved the entire thing in my mouth. I'm sure I didn't look at all graceful as I struggled to close my mouth to eat the ice cream, but I didn't care. The flavors of the sundae melted in my mouth! The ice cream was refreshing and cool, the banana was nice and sweet, the warm chocolate coated my tongue like it was giving me a warm hug, and the whipped cream tied all the flavors together in one, creamy note. I guess my eyes did all the talking for me, because the boys were looking at me with big grins. "Isn't it the best?" Lucio asked. I nodded, mouth still full. I swallowed and smiled. "That was delicious!"    

We all started digging in to the ice cream, making it disappear pretty quickly. As we were eating, Cosimo turned to me and said, "She would have loved you." I looked up at him. "My mother. She would have adored you." I smiled, feeling that familiar tug on my heartstrings. "I'm sure I would've loved her too." Cosimo smiled. We focused our attention back on the ice cream, but I could feel him continue to look at me. 

Only a few minutes later, and the ice cream had been devoured. I had to admit, I had a lot to do with how fast it disappeared. But it's Ghirardelli! There's no self-control when it comes to Ghirardelli. Cosimo leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin. "Didn't I tell you that's the best thing here?" Amedeo nodded, crumpling up his used napkin and throwing it in the empty sundae bowl. "You're right. It never ceases to amaze." I laughed. "I'd have to agree." Lucio slid out of his seat and stood up, taking the trash with him to the garbage can and the dish back up to the counter. I smiled. He was quite thoughtful, even in the little things. 

"Where should we go next?" Amedeo asked. Lucio came back with empty hands, standing in front of the table. "Daniela, why don't you choose this time?" He suggested. I thought about all the things that could be fun to do together. There was the aquarium, the zoo, the park, the museum. Over all of that, one thing stood out in my head. "The Golden Gate Bridge." I smiled at them all. "I've never walked across the Golden Gate Bridge. I'd love to do that. That is, if you all want to." I twiddled my thumbs together. Lucio gave me a small smile, but his eyes told another story. "You know what? I think that's a great idea. Let's head there right now." I tilted my head. "Are you sure that's what you want to do?" He took a minute, but he finally nodded. "I'm sure." We all stood up from the table and walked out of the Ghirardelli Shop. "Come back soon!" The saleslady called, mostly to Cosimo. Another wink and another giggle. You can guess who did what. 

We walked for what seemed like ages, talking and laughing together. I loved walking to places just on my own, but it was even more fun when you were with a group. Especially a group like these guys. Once we reached the walkway for the bridge, we split off into two groups. Cosimo and Amedeo took the lead, walking side by side in front, while Lucio and I ended up walking together behind them. "I'm glad you liked my suggestion. I thought you'd think it was a silly tourist thing." I admitted. Lucio shook his head. "Not at all! Truthfully, I've never walked across the bridge either. I've seen it on postcards and driven by it, but I've never been on it. And I've lived in San Francisco almost my whole life." I gasped. "How could you never have been on this bridge in all that time?" He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I always thought about it, but I felt weird walking on it by myself." I tilted my head. "What about walking on it with your family? It could be a fun outing."

He shrugged. "Not a lot of family to walk on it with." I felt the familiar sinking feeling in my stomach. Did something happen to his family too? He looked back at me. "But I'm glad I get to now!" He quickly changed the subject. "The sun's setting already. It looks so pretty." I stopped in my tracks, forcing Lucio to stop with me. "Everything alright?" He asked. I turned to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He seemed to know what I was referring to, but played dumb. "Talk about what? Everything's fine. Let's just keep walking, I don't want to fall behind the others." I wouldn't move. I know I was being stubborn, but I had helped both Cosimo and Amedeo talk through their family issues. I wanted to do the same for Lucio, if I could. "I know we haven't known each other long, but you can trust me." I pleaded with him. I looked down at the ground, feeling like I was getting nowhere with him. "I'd just like to help you if I can." I added, my voice quieter. 

The wind blew around both of us, claiming some leaves in its whirl. Lucio's hair was blowing away from his face. He had both of his hands stuffed into the pockets of his black peacoat. It looked like I had struck a nerve. I hadn't seen that look on his face before. I bit my lip. Did I go too far? I just wanted to help, but maybe I should have left it alone. Suddenly, a sigh broke the agonizing silence. Lucio turned to face the harbor, looking out at the horizon. He rested his elbows on the railing in front of us. "There's a reason I felt so close to Amedeo and Cosimo when I first met them. I can relate to them." He kept looking straight ahead. "My parents passed away in a car accident when I was young. I was young enough to have to have gone and lived with my zia and zio after they were gone, but not young enough to have forgotten them and all the memories I had with them." I felt a pang in my heart. I sucked in a breath, the cold hurting my teeth. I stepped closer to him and copied his stance. He just kept looking out at the bay. "My zia and zio were amazing caretakers. My first memory of going to live with them was when my zia made me penne arrabbiata. I remember crying the first time I ate it because I loved it so much. It really made me feel better. From then on, she would make it for me whenever I was sad and needed cheering up. That's why it touched me so much when I found out it was your favorite food too." 

He finally turned to look at me. I couldn't hide the sorrow on my face and neither could he. "That's why I stayed away from the bridge all these years. My family moved to San Francisco from Italy for my father's work. We all promised to walk across the bridge together when we got the opportunity. But that never happened." He frowned. "I always thought it would be like I was betraying them if I came here without them. But in reality, I think they'd be happy I'm here now, with people I care about. That's why I wanted to come here with you guys. To kind of give myself a fresh start after 15 years of keeping my distance." The chill in the air wasn't the only thing sending a shiver down my spine. I reached my hand out and touched him lightly on the shoulder. "They would be so proud of you, Lucio. Not just because of your incredible voice, but because of the kind of person you are. I've only known you for two days, and I have to say I haven't met anyone else as thoughtful and kind as you. I know it's not much coming from me since I haven't known you long, but I wanted you to know that."

There was another moment of silence. I worried I had somehow said the wrong thing again, until Lucio turned to me and I saw tears welling up in his eyes. He reached over with his other hand and held the one that I had put on his shoulder. "That's the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me, Daniela. Is that what you really think about me?" I nodded. "Yeah." I didn't know how to describe his emotions other than touched. He had such a serene but serious look on his face. The golden specks in his eyes shined even more as the street lights suddenly lit up behind us. The sun was setting and it cast a golden haze over everything and everyone around. The noise of the cars travelling behind us and the foghorns of the passing ships in the harbor seemed to go quiet as we stood, staring at each other, hand in hand. 

Lucio reached over and hugged me tightly. Even though I had also been hugged by Amedeo and Cosimo earlier that day, it was nothing like this. I felt so comfortable in Lucio's strong arms, like this is where I was supposed to be. I didn't hesitate to hug him back. "I've only known you for two days, but you're the most amazing person I've ever met." He sighed. I'm sure he could feel my rapid heartbeat. He pulled out of the hug. "I know it seems strange, but I just feel such a connection to you. I'm sorry, I know that sounds weird since we just met and all, but I can't ignore what I know is true." He looked at me. "I haven't had many friends besides Cosimo and Amedeo and I've had bad experiences with relationships. But you're different, Daniela." I arched a brow. "In a good way?" He smiled. "In the best way." 

In this moment, I realized something. I realized that I felt something different when I was with Lucio. I felt more comfortable with him, but also more excited and courageous. Things just seemed to click with him. I didn't have to worry about being awkward or weird with him. My heartbeat still accelerated whenever we touched, but it was in a different way. I wasn't nervous, I was just thrilled to be near him. I felt like I could tell the truth around him. I couldn't believe what I was thinking. It was way too soon for me to be feeling like this about a person. I couldn't possibly be feeling what I thought I was feeling. Could I? 

Lucio pulled me into another hug, even tighter than the last. "I'm so glad I met you, Daniela." My heartbeat wasn't slowing down anytime soon. "I'm glad I met you too, Lucio." We pulled away and looked out at the horizon. The sun was nearly set. "I'm so happy we're going to do the duet together. I'll make sure to practice so I perform it with you well next week." I smiled. "I'm happy too. I couldn't imagine singing it with anyone but you." It was true. He smiled at me. We stopped to look at each other. Lucio's face grew more serious by the minute. He was looking at my lips. Unlike with the other two, I didn't feel anxious about it. I was almost wishing it would happen. 

Before anything did happen, we heard someone yell, "Hey!" We broke out of our spell to see Cosimo and Amedeo running towards us. "Where did you guys go? We almost crossed the whole bridge before we realized you weren't with us." Cosimo complained. Amedeo nodded, arms folded. "Did you see something you liked up here?" He asked, looking out at the harbor. Lucio turned to look at me. "Yeah. I did." My eyes went wide. I was the something he liked? He liked me? No, that's crazy. After all, it had only been two days. It was probably just wishful thinking. But why was that something I was wishing? 

Cosimo blew hot air from his breath into his hands, trying to warm them up. "As much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it's getting dark. We should probably head back home. We have to practice our songs for Monday anyways." We all nodded. He smirked at Lucio and I. "This time, you guys walk in front so we don't have to go chasing after you again." Lucio and I looked at each other, smiling like two kids who had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. We all turned around and started walking over the bridge again. Lucio looked at me as we walked. "This bridge I had dreaded going on so much just became my favorite place in San Francisco, thanks to you." I smiled up at him, a blush spreading across my face. 

"Mine too."       

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