Not edited my dudes🙃

The colour of police serine's stung the midnight air, blaring harshly against the dark black like sky. The world surrounding Jimin grew silent, almost as if someone had pressed mute on the world. Nothing anyone said nor the ringing of the city passed through the cruel smog that is smothering him until he couldn't breathe. He could only sit there, cradling himself in the passenger seat of Jungkook's car.

Stray tears trailed down his cheeks, eyes glistening in the moonlight. He hadn't even noticed he was crying, to entranced in this decaying state that's consumed him.

His skin crawled, fist clenching as he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't let this man hurt him again, make him weak like he's already done. He had to be strong, be a man because he clearly isn't.

"You okay Jimin?" The tender voice of the detective breaks through the layer of ice surrounding him.

Jungkook kneels down by the open car door, hands clasping his thighs holding back on reaching out to comfort the poor, trembling boy.

Jimin stiffly cranes his neck to the side, eyes gleaming in a pained tint. He looked cracked, broken as he gazed at Jungkook.

"Why is he doing this? What did I do? I don't understand why me?" His voice is croaky, horse sounding drained which he was.

He hated being scared all the time, constantly looking over his shoulder afraid of his own shadow. He's so tired of crying, of this feeling of disgust that washed over him, almost drowning him.

All he wanted is to be left alone. Been given time to grieve, to learn to love himself again. Yet even that seemed impossible, something from a dream he could never quite make come true.

Jungkook's heart completely shattered at that, it wrenched and ached at how discarded and abused Jimin felt. How the torment of his attacker is always looming over him, reminding him of the abuse done to him. He wished there was something he could do or say that could take away the pain, the bile which that is eating his insides. But he knew he couldn't, he could try make it better but couldn't change what had happened.

"I don't know Jimin, I'm so sorry. But you must know you have done nothing to deserve this. He's a monster, a disgusting man who I will bring to justice and make things right." And he meant his words, every single one of them. He was going to catch this man, save Jimin from the nightmares to which suffocated him.

Jimin can only nod at his words, giving the smallest, most pained smile. He could see the conviction in the detectives eyes, the soul crushing compassion swelling around the man's beautiful milky eyes.

He had to believe that. Believe that things would get better. That the man who violated him will be condemned and alienated like the monster he is. He had to believe that because if he didn't there wasn't any point in living, in trying to survive if all he'd ever feel is self hatred and pain.

He couldn't live like that. Because if he did that would surely kill him.

"Oh my god! Jimin! Jimin! No-let me see him. I need to see him." Tae's voice wails in desperation, trying to push past the young police officer who is blocking his way.

Jimin's eyes lurk over to the open parking lot, finding Tae getting blocked out by an officer whose in charge of 'guarding the scene.' He looks distressed, eyes manic as he desperately tries to get past.

"Let him in. He's fine." Jungkook informs the officer, gesturing him to allow Tae in.

Tae immediately storms through like a rogue elephant charging towards its infant. He almost skids across the damp gravel, stumbling on his two left feet. Jimin takes a moment to register its him, his mind to fogged up and groggy to comprehend the world around him.

It's not until Tae's crouching down in front him does he realise he's there. Their achy gazes lock, both swarming with this disgusting fear and anxiety.

"Jimin? Jimin did he hurt you? Did he touch you? Are you okay?" Tae bombards him with questions, terrified he's once again failed to protect him, do the one thing he promised to always do.

Jimin wasn't sure he had the words to answer, he couldn't even think let alone speak. The only thing ruling over him his the disgusting pictures taken by his rapist. They wouldn't stop, kept haunting him, like a knife digging right into his back. So he just coils in on himself, hugging his body

"I think you should take him somewhere for the night, it clearly isn't safe here. I'll have officers placed outside at least until we find this bastard." Jungkook rakes in, not expecting a response from Jimin so he piped in.

Tae glances up at him, for a moment both welling in the gruesomeness of what's happening.

"We can stay at my brothers, its safe there. Jimin how does that sound?" Tae looks to him wearily, unsure if he was allowed to touch him.

Jimin hated the glint in their eyes, the pity, the guilt that eroded towards him. He knew it was out of empathy, that they felt for him but he didn't want it as it made him feel weak even if that was true he didn't want others to see him that way too.

"But this is our home. I'm not going to let him take this from me too." Jimin was so tired of being broken, hating himself and the only thing he had in his life was his apartment he made with Tae.

"Jimin-we can't stay here anymore. It's not safe, not anymore." Tae honestly couldn't stomach the idea of going back in there, not when the man who violated his best friend knows where they live and won't hesitate to come back.

Jimin's glossy eyes glance down, he knew he was right but it still hurt. This was their home, and now he's taken that too.

"He's not really going to hurt me is he? He's already taken what he wanted, why won't he just leave me alone." His voice breaks, tears well again, falling down cruelly.

Jungkook and Tae's heart ache for him, both boiling with the urge to comfort him. Before either could react Jimin begins to break down, shoulders jittering as his heart gets torn. In the heat of the moment Jungkook didn't quite understand but he's engulfing the poor boy in his arms. Jimin tenses instantly, turning rigid in his muscular-safe arms. He doesn't push him away though, for a strange reason he found a small comfort in being incased in his arms, caging him in so nothing could hurt him.

It felt weird, hugs were the last thing he wanted yet somehow with Jungkook it seemed okay. It was strange, he liked how his delicate scent enveloped his nostrils, how he let him stuff his tear soaked face into the crook of his neck, how he gently encased his arms around his trembling body-it wasn't to forceful but more delicate.

Jimin scrunches his eyes shut, taking large, slow breaths in an attempt to calm himself. He lets himself relax, his muscles begun to unwind as he allows himself a moment to be engulfed in his arms.

"He won't hurt you again, I promise you." Jungkook whispers softly, wanted to reassure him he's safe.

Jimin pulls away, rubbing his nose as he can only nod his head. He keeps his eyes low, shallowing though his throat was bone dry.

"Okay, we can go to Namjoon's." He caves in, glancing over to Tae whose staring at him with glossy eyes.

Tae gapes at him for a second, little stunned at what he just witnessed. Jimin let someone else touch him, hug him even and as much as he was jealous of that he was happy because it was progress. He only hoped Jimin would let him do that too.

"Can I go get us some stuff? Just a bag or two please detective." Tae stands up, asking Jungkook as they had no belongings with them.

"I'll have an officer escort you up, take what you need. I'm going to have some of my men guard this place just incase he comes back." Jungkook gestures for two officers, they take Tae upstairs to the apartment.

Jimin stays put, wanting to wait for Tae before he went anywhere. He keeps focusing on his breathing, needing to distract himself as his mind seems to enjoy torturing him and bringing the most painful moments in his life to light.

"I want you to know Jimin, I'm not going to give up on this. I know it's not my place but I've got a friend who I think you should talk too. It might help you cope with everything." Jungkook pulls out a card from his wallet, he kneels down so he didn't appear as threatening.

Jimin takes it with shaky hands, he glances over it with a small frown.

"She's a therapist." It wasn't that he didn't like the idea, it was just he wasn't sure he was ready to talk to someone else about his ordeal.

"Yeah she is, and a good one. You need to talk to someone Jimin, help get you through this." Jungkook could see how tortured he was, how it was killing him mind body and soul.

Jimin stares at the card, contemplating his words. He knew he was right, he's struggling with it all. He can't even sleep without hearing his voice, without feeling his claws ripping at his skin or his weight pressing down on him until he couldn't breath. His nightmares were never ending, he hasn't had a decent nights sleep in what felt like years. He's always exhausted, never hungry, cries all the time. He's clearly not okay, he thought maybe just ignoring it and hoping it would go away would work but it isn't. He's not any better than he was the first night. He still cries himself to sleep, wakes himself up screaming then repeats it all over again.

"Thank you, I guess I have been struggling. I don't really know who I am anymore. I can't even look at myself in the mirror, and when I do I don't even recognise myself. Tae made me go to a support group for rape victims and that did help. This might too." He scans over the slick looking card, realising he had nothing to lose. He's already hit rock bottom there wasn't much lower he could go.

He ruffles his knitted hair, safely stuffing the card in his pocket.

"I know talking about it sounds scaring but it can help, maybe better than anything else." Jungkook wanted him to get his life back, he's seen the worst of this boy and he wanted to see the best.

Jimin gives him a small smile, he's really starting to like the detective. Jungkook was a good man, a decent man who obviously cared about him. He could see it in his eyes, the sweet glint that shone whenever he looked at him. Jungkook made him feel safe, comfortable in his own skin as much as he could be right now. Men scared him, strangers made his skin crawl and fear settle in. But with Jungkook, a man who looked strong, capable and masculine he surprisingly didn't scare him. Instead he brought him comfort, with him he knew he really was safe, that nothing would hurt him if he was around.

"Will you help guard me?" Jimin knew he'd feel a lot better if Jungkook was one of the officers looking out for him, sitting outside just incase.

"No I won't be. But I'll come round whenever you want, to check on you." Jungkook noticed the slight disappointment, could see him deflate at that but he also knew he'd be better spent hunting this car than sitting in car.

As much as Jungkook wanted to be there, protect him he had a job to do.

Silence soaks up the cold air, Jimin goes back to fiddling with his fingers. All he wanted to do was crawl in bed, hug himself until he either cried himself to sleep or passed out. It usually consisted of a bit of both. People who lived in other apartments were beginning to come out, stare at the commotion and that made him more self conscious. They were staring at him, probably already guessing and moulding theory's in their minds. He hated it, the attention he so desperately wished would disappear. He's not a spectacle, something to be gawked at. But that's all he felt like, a freak who doesn't belong in the world. He was starting to believe that too, he felt out of place. As if he didn't fit.

"I've got us some bags, I'll come back for the rest when I can." Tae comes with two large bags, carrying them on either shoulder.

Jimin was so lost in thought he hadn't even heard him approaching. He carefully gets himself up, a little wobbly from sitting down to long. He goes to help by taking a bag but Tae immediately tells him off. He doesn't wan Jimin wasting his energy, he looked close to death and Tae only wanted to look after him.

"I've got it, let's just get you in the car." Tae smiles at him, wanting to get home.

Jimin nods his head, hugging his body when a harsh gust of wind blows. He glances to Jungkook one last time before leaving, giving him a timid wave goodbye.

"I'll have a police car follow you there. If you need anything just call." Jungkook fought the urge to take Jimin in his arms, wanting desperately to bring him to his house where he knew it would be safe.

They head towards Tae's car, Tae opens the door for Jimin. He sits in the passenger seat silent, watching the world pass him by, unwavering, unaffected by the cruelty bestowed upon him.

His head falls with a thump against the pillows, the second he stepped inside his legs gave out. His body had near but given up, ready to shut off completely. His body had become numb, his mind lost in the horror of it all. He wasn't sure how much more he could take, he's already withering away into dust and he wasn't quite sure if there was any coming back from that.

Nowhere was safe. His home wasn't, and it might never be again. Every time his eyes shut all he could see were those pictures-Those disgusting, shameful photos of his naked, bound body twisted and placed like a doll. It's all he could see. It hurt so much to see it so vividly. Those pictures made it even more real, meant it was now engraved into the world forever. He looked so pathetic, pitiful on those photos. On full display, vulnerable and weak capturing perfectly the man he really is. In those pictures was the true him. A man how couldn't protect himself, a man who allowed himself to be battered, bruised and used like a toy.

Maybe he did deserve this torment? A punishment for being so weak. For like the man said, he deserved it for being a tease. Maybe if he hadn't worn such provocative outfits. Hadn't strut around in tight jeans that suffocated and proudly showed off his ass. If he hadn't worn see through tops, shorts that showed off too much leg or didn't flirt when he felt confident he might've never been raped. He brought this on himself for being so slut like. Because he enjoyed being the centre of attention, liked eyes on him when he wanted to look good for his ego. He became the perfect target for predators.

The man was right. He in some fucked up way made him do it. Lured him in with his vulgar clothes and over friendliness.

"Fucking whore! I know you want this just as much as I do. God damn slut." The man howls viscously into his ear, crushing him under his weight while yanking aggressively at his hair and slamming into him with no mercy.

It hurt. His words leaving an imprint on him that wouldn't ever leave. Because there was a truth to his words, in this moment it was all true. Jimin felt like a whore, a simple slut as his body was being used and abused and he hadn't even fought against it. He just laid there and took it. Allowed him to take his naked body, do what he wanted while he cried pathetically into his soiled sheets.

Snap after snap rung in the eroding air, every time he heard it was like a stab to the heart. Wave after wave of shame washed over him because he knew he'd be looking at his naked form whenever he liked. Sit there admiring his figure like it was his right too. He gets tossed around, his legs get lifted up, moved around as the man had him posing. It was humiliating, completely and utterly degrading.

Jimin whimpers and winces when the man flips him into his back, his bound arms digging uncomfortably into the mattress. His rough hand comes to wrap around his throat, he squeezes just enough to have him gasping while he hears clicks of the camera. He's taking photos of him choking, of him strangling him in his most vulnerable state. What made it even more degrading was when the man forced a finger into his mouth, painfully hinging his jaw open as more clicks rung.

Tears drench his blindfold, it seemed to be the only thing he could do-cry. Cry and beg, cry and beg that's all he was good for.

"Please-..stop. I-I can't..anymore." Jimin pleads and pleads, his muscles ache and he's on the verge of passing out.

He knew his body would give out before the man would. He was weak and the man wasn't.

Jimin wipes his aching eyes, hating himself for hating himself. It was a cruel cycle of self hatred, always with only one ultimate outcome. He buries his face into the pillow, letting it soak up his salty tears. A headache began to brew, obviously from the constant crying he's been doing. It was nonstop now, the crying then the headache to follow.

His life was becoming a complete mess. The moment he finally started seeing the light darkness comes in and takes it. He was getting better, he was. He could feel it, he knew it but now he was back at square one maybe even worse off now.

Those pictures nearly killed him. It was so personal, so intimate and all he could think was how disgusting it was. He looked disgusting. He hated the photos, hated them. And now they were out there for every man and their dog to see. He's humiliated. No one will ever see him the same if and when those photos get out. Because they will, of course they will. Nothings sacred these days, private. It was all laid out there in the open for the world to see and judge.

"You hungry Jimin?" Namjoon pokes his head through the door carefully, walking on eggshells as he knows how damaged the poor boy was.

Jimin turns his head in the pillows, laying flat on his stomach as he didn't have the energy to move.

"No thank you, I'm fine." His voice is horse, displaying the severity of his crying.

Namjoon tried not to show the pain his crocked voice had on him. He knew the reasons, he understood completely why but it didn't make it any easier to see his friend so broken.

"I'll leave you a bowl just incase, it's your favourite. If there's anything you need let me know, I love you Jimin." Namjoon wanted to run to his side, hug him so tight and tell him everything's going to be okay but he couldn't because he wasn't sure if that was true.

Jimin tries to hold back his tears, the people around him were so caring, so loving and all he was doing was pushing them away, making their lives worse with his sorrows. It made him feel sick, like he was weighing them down.

"I love you too." He mumbles, not missing the innocent dimples that showed in Namjoon's smile.

Namjoon leaves after that, placing a bowl of steaming hot tender chicken on rice. It smelt divine, enticing but Jimin couldn't stomach it. But it was a nice thought, his friends really took care of him.

Jimin laid curled into himself, hugging his knees staring into nothing. He's out of it, lost in the darkness that has him in its clutches. He knows he's being stupid, weak and pitiful but it's all to much. His life's crumbling before his eyes and there's absolutely nothing he can do about it.

"Hey, don't cry." Jimin flinched at the sudden voice, having not realised Tae had slipped into the room.

He's by his bed, crouching down while staring up at him with those pure eyes of his. Jimin sniffles, scrunching his nose.

"I'm sorry. All I seem to be good at is being miserable, I can't stop crying." Jimin winces when he shuffles around, getting onto his back.

"Don't say that, you have every right to be reacting the way you are." Tae hated how he put himself down, he was an angel and he didn't deserve this.

Jimin appreciated how he was trying to cheer him up, Tae always was trying to be his hero.

"I was getting better Tae..-I was finally remembering how to be happy. But he took it, he took everything. Why did he have to take those photos? Hasn't he humiliated me enough." Jimin cracks again, collapsing into himself.

Tae couldn't take it anymore, couldn't handle seeing Jimin so broken. So he did what any good friend would do, he takes his frail body in his arms. He climbs on the bed, settling himself beside him. He's happy when Jimin doesn't flinch or push him away, instead he allows himself to be entangled in his arms.

It felt nice. Jimin hadn't allowed himself to be touched, to be shown any affection because it scared him. It brought back terrifying memories but now he realised how much he needed it. Even if it was just a simple hug until he calmed himself down.

"I'm scared Tae, I'm really scared. I don't know what to do." Jimin scrunches his hands in Tae's shirt, planting his face into his chest.

Tae combs his fingers through his hair, tears brimming in his eyes as it hurt. It hurt so much because his best friend is broken, destroyed.

"I'm so sorry Chim, I wish I could fix this. Fix everything and take away the pain but I can't. But what I can do is promise to never leave you, to never stop protecting to you. I love you so much, so much and it hurts. It really hurts but I'm here with you, always." Tae chokes half way through, now fully balling but he needed Jimin to know. He needed to know he's going to be there, for everything and nothings going to stop him.

Jimin cries harder at his words, soaking his shirt but neither were bothered by it. He just lets himself be comforted, be engulfed in Tae's warm arms just for a bit. He needed someone to cry with, someone to hurt with and Tae was the best person for the job. The warmth was nice, Tae's body beside him wasn't frightening but instead comforting. They laid there in silence, crying and soaking in the hurt consuming them. Jimin plays with the card in his pocket, feeling the weight of it. He knew he had to do it, he clearly had issues and they weren't going to be fixed by themselves. He pulls it out, playing with it as Tae glances down.

"What's that?" He continued to rub circles in his sides, enjoying being close to him again.

"Jungkook gave it to me, it's a card for a therapist. I think I'm going to go, I need help Tae." He stares at the card, knowing he didn't have many choices if he wanted his life back.

And he did. He wants his life back and this was a good start.

......
So emotional 😭 damn the angst in this book.

Love you my honeybuns💕