My eyes are dying but I just neeeed to do something. Aaanything.

---

WHAT WILL YOU DO IF THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF PEACE ON EARTH BECAUSE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE WILL HAPPEN TOMORROW?

- Oh, goody. I'd try to kill myself before the zombies arrive because it's way better to be ded immediately rather than suffer, run, suffer, run, then die. : )

WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU FIND OUT THAT YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF MARS?

- What do I do? You know, dance on the rainbow with pink fluffy alien unicorns.

GOOD REPUTATION MADE WITH BAD INTENT, OR BAD REPUTATION BUILT WITH GOOD INTENTIONS?

- Bad reputation built with good intentions. The former would be disgusting because most people are like that. I don't want to be "most people", because most people are crap.

CHICKEN, PORK, OR BEEF? WHY?

- Firstly. . . What the crap is the deal with this question? Oh well. Chicken. Pork would be cannibalism, and beef reminds me of Ushiwaka. Blergh.

WHAT COLOR DO YOU LIKE BEST AND WHY?

- The color of your skin; reverse-side.

WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU MEET A BEGGAR 10 YEARS LATER, WHO DESPERATELY SEEKS HELP FROM YOU, ONLY TO LEARN THAT THEY ARE THE PERSON YOU HATE/D THE MOST?

- I will conduct an interview about how someone who overflows with hubris and gold could possibly become a beggar. Then laugh and kick them in the face and tear a bill infront of them then walk away. Screw human rights.

WHAT IF YOU WERE AN IMMORTAL BEING, HARBORING POWERS CAPABLE OF STARTING A WAR THAT WOULD AWAKEN ONCE YOU REACH A CERTAIN AGE?

- I'd lie down. In a coffin six feet underground. Might as well keep the Earth safe from me, I guess.

GIVE ME TEN REASONS WHY YOU HATE YOUR LIFE.

- I don't. Why should I hate my life? I don't have the right to hate my fucking life because only CERTAIN PEOPLE are allowed to actually feel sad about their miserable, shitty little godfucked existences.

WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU POSSESS THAT YOU LOVE THE MOST?

- Which me?

LET'S SUPPOSE YOU BELONG TO A POOR FAMILY. FIVE YEARS LATER, RICH PEOPLE START CLAIMING YOU AS THEIR CHILD. WHAT DO YOU DO?

- Pretend to go with them and be happy with them. Ask for money and stuff and visit my initial family and give them the money. Go back to the rich. Cycle goes on. Everybody happy.

IF YOU WERE TRANSPORTED INTO AN ALTERNATE WORLD WHERE YOUR PARENTS ARE KING AND QUEEN, WOULD YOU STAY WITH THEM FOREVER OR WITH YOUR GRANDPARENT WHO TOOK CARE OF YOU NICELY BACK ON EARTH?

- This question is absurd, but of course I'll ditch my "king and queen parents" because, what, they send me out to Earth and force an innocent old dude to nurse me, then take me back and give me a choice of actually abandoning the person who kept me alive until now? Why didn't they just take care of me, huh?

DO YOU LOVE THIS WORLD?

- Sorry, I love Emilia.

DO YOU EASILY GET ANGERED OR ANNOYED? IF SO, WHAT IS YOUR INITIAL REACTION?

- I don't know; I have lots of initial reactions. A few of them is either to punch the person, trash-talk the person, talk back, shut up, curse them openly or silently, those stuff. You know, those.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? WHY?

- It's always about food. . . Want me to eat your pride? Oh, nevermind. I'd probably blow up in its abundance. Anyways, vanilla. Chocolate gives me shitty, shitty memories. Oh, hey, chocolate ice cream looks like shit.

WHAT KIND OF DERE DO YOU LIKE?

- Nani Dere. Okay, that was bad.

IF YOU WERE GIVEN A CHANCE TO BRING SOMEONE BACK TO LIFE, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

- Thank you for that very wonderful question. I believe that if I were to be given a chance to bring a deceased idiot back to life, I wouldn't use it. The dead should stay dead, and the living should keep being alive. That's what balance is all about.

YAOI OR YURI? WHY?

- Okay, so, the previous question was totes deep, but then. . . yaoi. Hahaha.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO SING WITH? WHY?

- Ever heard of those sea monsters who lure sailors to their deaths by singing? Yeah, them. Watching ships sink is really fun.

WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE THE MOST?

- Opera, probably. Or any kinda song with powerful messages, enough to get me to close my eyes.

WHAT WILL YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE BETRAYED BY YOUR FRIENDS WHO TRUSTED YOU DEARLY?

"If you ever feel betrayed, remember Dazai left the mafia without a word."

- C. NAKAHARA

More of this shit in my new book: Bungo Stray Dogs Random Stuff. Here goes ads.

DO YOU SHIP ANIME CHARACTERS JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY IT'S A COOL SHIP, OR BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT?

- Because I have delved deep into the core of each of their personalities, journeyed into a blizzard of their conflicting emotions and burning ambitions, flipped the bird at the screen as I watched someone hurt each of the characters and finally realized that they resemble each other in a beautiful way despite their distinctive qualities. Also, nearly killing my teddy bear everytime they get this close. This.

ARE YOU STILL INNOCENT ABOUT X-RATED MATTERS?

- Well, no.

WHAT DO YOU FEEL ABOUT INCEST? WHY?

- It's fine; Hera and Zeus are siblings. So are life and death.

FAVORITE ANIME CHARACTER?

- Die.

FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

- Othello on the back of a tyrant making use of those circular thumb tacks.

DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU LIKE? A CRUSH, FOR INSTANCE?

- Jeje. Oops.

MIDDLE NAME?

- Ask Betrayal. He knows my name. Do you get the reference or do you not? But meh I guess you don't. This shit is yaoi.

HEIGHT?

- BITCH.

WEIGHT?

- I'm probably heavier than sumo wrestlers, because everyone looks at me like I ate a ten-wheeler truck everytime I tell them the answer to their question. I'm not even in the "Overweight" classification but???

EYE COLOR?

- Now they're quite red.

LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

- I'm crying mentally right now. No, seriously, I just killed some insect the size of my palm, equipped with a stinger kinda crap. It probably got in through the missing panel of glass in my right window. And I was totally fine at first but now I see it has a goddamned body armor thing and I cried tears of joy in my head at the victory. It had been a difficult battle. I crushed it with this hard slipper against the roof at first. Yeah, roof. I used a chair and got on my tiptoes. I released it, then it suddenly fucking flew right at me with the stinger pointed forward. I dodged, thank Hades, then smacked it with the slipper right in the. . . Face, I guess? It fell on my bed. I drove it away. It flew to my head, but I shielded it with the mega slipper and it fell right on top of the blanket. I kept swatting it with the slipper, and blood never came out because armor. Lucky; no traces were left on my blanket. I dragged it with the slipper to the floor after making sure it won't get back up immediately. I crushed it there under my fist, and it's still on my floor, buried under a slipper. It's fucking huge, part of its body still sticks out. It's the stinger, and it's moving. Holy shit. It has this admirable will to live.

BIGGEST FEAR?

- This insect being invulnerable, then suddenly springing back up at me as I raise the slipper, managing to inject paralysis poison into my system, currently.

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?

- The BGM for Wordscapes. Haven't checked this thing out in a while.

LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED?

- That was more than a month ago, don't expect me to actually remember. : |

RELATIONSHIP STATUS?

- My relationships with everyone is a mess! And I'm secretly waiting for someone to kinda just waltz in and say, "I'm a mess. Can I be your friend?" Dammit.

SHOWER OR BATHTUB? WHICH METHOD WOULD YOU RATHER USE TO DROWN?

- Bathtub seems to be an easier way. Trust me, the shower won't drown you no matter how powerful the rush of water. I could breathe fine.

GLASS, WOOD, OR METAL? WHICH WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR FRONT TO DOOR TO BE BUILT FROM?

- Metal, I guess. And it is metal.

IF YOU WOULD BE GIVEN A CHANCE TO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE BESIDES YOUR CURRENT LOCATION, WHERE WOULD IT BE, AND WHY?

- 6 feet underground, not breathing.

ARE THE QUESTIONS ANNOYING?

- Marco Bodt.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR ROOM PAINTED WITH?

- The color of death. Translation: Insect blood. No, seriously, this isn't the first time I've squashed one. This is the first of its species to turn up in my room.

DO YOU HAVE BAD EYESIGHT? IF YOU DO, GLASSES OR CONTACTS? IF YOU WEAR CONTACTS, WHAT COLOR?

- What is this question? Anyways, literally bad eyesight for one eye only, but I wear normal-looking glasses. What, donning a monocle isn't really normal-looking.

WHAT IS YOUR CASUAL HAIRSTYLE?

- I don't style my hair, my hair styles itself.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD PETS? HOW MANY?

- 3. Two dogs, one bitch. All dead, all buried.

COFFEE, TEA, OR WATER?

- Where is the "me" option?

GIVE TEN ITEMS FOUND IN YOUR ROOM WHICH YOU DON'T NORMALLY SEE IN OTHER BEDROOMS.

• Anime posters. Not all people like anime.

• A dead insect. Nope, it's still alive. Fuckfuckfuck.

• A jar of notes about my days for me to open sometime later.

• A pocket watch.

• A book of idioms never opened.

• A tall umbrella. Exclusive, with a sharp tip that could kill you as you fall down the stairs.

• A notebook where I record my dreams.

• A kneepad.

• A flower pot. For a trashcan.

• A poem made especially for bleach.

WHY DO YOU REGRET HURTING PEOPLE?

- I don't.

LET'S SAY YOU'RE IN A FIRE. YOU CAN ONLY SAVE ONE: YOUR DYING MOTHER, A GIRL WITH CANCER, OR YOUR COUSIN WHOM YOU AREN'T TOO CLOSE WITH?

- I WILL SAVE THEM ALL, OK?

WHAT IS YOUR THEORY OF WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DEATH?

- We turn into gargoyles that decorate the palace of Hades.

WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

- Agony.

WHAT IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?

- Convincing myself I'm different and dancing around spreading the news to people who probably want me either to be sent to a ward and put in a straitjacket or dead by now. Oh well, I wished the latter too.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU THOUGHT OF YOUR LIFE?

- 0.4977895 seconds ago.

IF YOU COULD BE A DEMON, AN ANGEL, OR A REAPER, WHICH WOULD YOU BR AND WHY?

- I'd rather be a demon. They've got less work and responsibilities because there's a lot of them while angels have to constantly smile at their shit of a leader who abandoned humanity and reapers are seriously busy; lots and lots of people die, then more are born, so they have to record the new existences again while compiling the dead. Whew.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE IMMORTAL? WHY OR WHY NOT?

- Well, at first, you'd think it's a really good privilege to have a never-ending lifespan and all, but after a few centuries, you'll start wishing you were dead. Especially if you're the type of person who doesn't learn from their mistakes. So I'd rather not be immortal. By the way, the idea of immortality has been mistaken by people, I'd say. It's the soul that is immortal, not the body. The body is just a human shell. Seems like movies, books and anime have been distorting the true knowledge of people. But I can't really say anything; I thought that at first, too.

WHO WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR?

- The dead tree.

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON GAY AND BI?

- I don't care. As long as they aren't doing anything to harm the economy of the country, I'm good.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF A FRIEND ATTEMPTED TO MURDER YOU?

- Give them a gold star and wish them luck.

HOW DID YOU GET YOUR WATTPAD NAME?

- Dictionary.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK ON WATTPAD?

- None.

DO YOU ROLEPLAY? IF SO, WHAT BOOK?

- It doesn't involve a book. My whole fucking life is a role play! Why would you ask such a thing?

HOW MANY REAL LIFE PEOPLE DO YOU FOLLOW ON WATTPAD?

- Wait, so you mean the others are AIs? That's a rude thing to say. I know what you mean to say, but a question needs to be fixed before it can be answered.

WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE ANIME?

- I haven't gotten down to finishing it yet, but it's probably Kiznaiver. I like a lot of things about it, including Sonozaki Noriko who looks like a different version of Esdeath, I swear.

WHAT IS YOU CURRENT FAVORITE SONG OR BAND?

- Band; the crying, wailing tortured souls back down there in the Fields of Asphodel.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VIDEO GAME?

- I don't play video games.

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER?

- Zenbai, I guess. I forgot the others but I remember Dark.Lulu.Chan, KelpieHearts and, uhhh. . . That's all I remember. By the way, go check this channel out and spam their videos with "dislike": Vampy and Golem Brothers. Sorry, bro, I decided I'll live up to what people think of me.

GIVE THREE OF YOUR DEADLY SINS.

• Envy

• Greed

• Wrath

WHAT COLOR DO YOU THINK YOUR SOUL IS? WHY?

- Purple? Purple is associated with evil. People say I'm evil and all that shit. Then so be it; it's colored purple because I'm an evil little piece of trash who doesn't care about how other people actually feel, blaming shit on others, throwing them away, all that.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A DANCE?

- I don't know. I think I have been, surrounded by swishing Victorian-styled dresses and trays of wine, but who the fuck would believe that's real? I was probably hallucinating, or dreaming.

WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?

- Everyday is my birthday.

ARE YOU DARK OR LIGHT?

- Is this racism?

ARE YOU EASILY ANNOYED BY CHILDREN?

- I don't think so. Children are quite cool with me. They're simple-minded, innocent and seriously easy to make happy. They still have that innate sense of kindness and friendliness and they never drag conflicts out longer than necessary. They can be demanding at times and the tantrums could haunt you, but it's not worth hating them for. It depends on their attitude, but overall, I'm fine with them. Besides, they're cute. And very much unlike adults and teenagers. Bleep.

DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING QUESTIONS?

- If it's rhetorical, nope, but if they're interesting in some way, I do fancy the idea of trying to interpret a reply.

WHAT IS YOUR STATUS FOR TODAY?

- Nobody knows.

HOW DID YOU FIND WATTPAD?

- I kept seeing it as a part of television ads, so I got curious about it. Then people started to talk about it so I kinda checked it out.

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

- Inside my mind, I guess?

GIVE FIVE THINGS THAT SYMBOLIZE YOUR LIFE.

• A WHEEL: Same day, same words, same routine, same mistakes, same cycle all over again.

• THE MOON: There's a dark side.

• TRASH: It's an utter waste.

• THE PLAGUE: You'd wish it never actually came to be.

• BOMBS: It ruins everything, and by everything, I mean ever single goddamned thing I actually come across.

GIVE THREE FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF.

• Hitotsu! I either have too many selves or none at all.

• Futatsu! A few anime characters most people like, yet, I don't agree with are: Ciel Phantomhive from Kuroshitsuji, Erza Scarlet from Fairy Tail, Kururugi Suzaku from Code: Geass, Osamu Dazai from Bungo Stray Dogs, Nakamura Yuri from Angel Beats, Adashino Benio from Sousei no Onmyouji, Niiyama Nico from Kiznaiver, Yuri Plisetsky from Yuri!!! On Ice, Historia Reiss from Shingeki no Kyoujin, Lawless or Hyde from Servamp, Schehirazade from Magi, Jibril from No Game No Life, Kise Ryota from Kuroko no Basuke, Tadase Hotori from Shugo Chara, Kiriyama Yui from Kokoro Connect, Aisaka Taiga from Toradora!, Kageyama Tobio from Haikyuu!!, Yuuki Asuna from Sword Art Online, Tsukimori Len from La Corda d'Oro, aaand that's all I can remember for now, though.

• Lastly, I don't know the Japanese word for 'third'.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

- I'm thirteen, right? *Kamiya Tsurugi triggered mode*

BIRDS, MAMMALS, OR FISH?

- Chickens are birds, and I like fried chicken, so I like birds.

DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?

- As a friend, a love interest, a brother or sister, an idol, or a slave?

DO THEY LIKE YOU?

- Who? People around me? Probably not.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

- Capricorn.

SINGLE, OR TAKEN?

- I have been taken by my delirious mind that constantly tries to coax me into going on a date with it. I've never accepted; it seems dangerous, but we're cool.

BATTERY PERCENTAGE?

- Bro, I don't fucking run on batteries. Let me correct that question for you.

BATTERY PERCENTAGE OF THE DEVICE YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING?

- 57%.

FEMALE BEST FRIEND?

- Okay, so my heart literally stopped beating after I typed this question. I sneezed, don't conclude things if you don't know how the human body works.

MALE BEST FRIEND?

- Borborygmusis.

FAVORITE SONG?

- It's not a song, but I love the sound if the conch horn that centaurs blow on before a battle.

GENDER?

- None.

LEFT-HANDED, OR RIGHT-HANDED?

- Right-handed.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF DYING?

- Sometimes. But in truth, it's actually just fearing the way I'll die. I wouldn't want to be shot, stabbed, burned, suffocated, choked, mutilated, because those stuff are painful, and I absolutely hate pain.

By the way. . .

I wuv him now

I finished the DW manga in one night and I was like. . .

HOLY SHIT? WHAT HAPPENED???