Okay sooo... I was reading BalladPhoenix -senpai's answers then found myself tagged by day 8 :')

I'm too lazy to go crop and shit so let's leave it like that. Anyways, I heard there are rules so...

1. Post your shit daily and expound your fucking answers because why the fuck not

2. Don't forget to grab some shitheads and tag 2-5 of them per day. I'll probably run out of nutcases to mention eventually--

3. Tag me when you do your own so I can stalk your answers.

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DAY I - FIVE WAYS TO WIN YOUR FUCKING HEART

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This is a pretty dangerous question, considering the fact that I literally do not have any kind of shit in mind, and that I am still stuck in the phase of being in fucking denial about the shitface who crosses my mind 24/7. But anyways, I'm doing this for the sake of it. I'm bored :>>

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√ don't hold your chin up high on a fucking high horse

- i absolutely despise people who think they're better at this and that more than anyone else in the whole fucking universe. makes me wanna spit my lemon juice at their eyes and step on their ego until they cough up blood. it's not that i'm looking for those extreme fucking creatures who pretend to be humble as shit when they're actually doing it to get more praise.

i want the kind of human being who just naturally walks into class looking like a fucking sass royalty without actually trying. i want the kind of person who doesn't look down on people and assume authority.

if you value positions and ranks above everything else and think you're on top, then i'd rather fucking kill myself than hear your overconfident giggles everytime you manage to pull off some shit i probably won't even be interested in. once you show me your elevated, nearly-ruminant means of transportation, i won't hesitate to talk shit about you to my online subjects and not care whether you're getting to read my shit or not.

and i definitely wouldn't like it when you're all like, "well, i had many lovers before, so that means i'm someone you'd like", or when you're the type of person who pretends to not care about those fucking blind normies who fall for you, but you keep occasionally stimulating them discreetly. that's fucking disgusting.

√ zero blackmailing >> respect for privacy

- i definitely disagree with people who say you're "friends" but actually fucking blackmails you with information and data when you get to spend more time. i mean, some might probably see this as a "sign of unwavering fucking friendship", but for someone like me who values MY privacy more than any shit out there you might use to bribe me with, i don't appreciate this kind of act.

if you really would want a good connection between the two of us, then you wouldn't be using something that has either left an ugly mark in my psychological state or had me slapped in the face just to guarantee the fact that i'm not going to do something you wouldn't want me to. doing this also screams "you have zero trust in me, and that's why you're blackmailing me so that you'd be able to sip your cowardly wine in peace".

also, to expound further on this answer, i just want you to respect privacy. barging into someone's personal space when they literally want to kill everything that comes their fucking way at the fucking moment is more than enough to get me ready to blast you into space. but if you're the type of person who listens when i would say "i don't want to let you in on this mental warfare", then that's going to earn you a little more love from me.

√ you wouldn't hate me even if i neglect you at times and would be willing to approach me first

- ok so self-discovery time, i just learned that i tend to fucking shove people out of my goddamned sight when i begin to like them as more than a fleeting existence. it may sound cheesy and ugly as fuck, but yes, i do that. and that's how my current approach on the person i have fucking "fallen for" since 4 years ago is. it's because i would probably be in constant denial about the way i get excited when you talk to me or about the fucking way i get slightly disappointed when you fucking leave before i do.

and forgive me, because when i talk about shit i wouldn't have fathomed if it was 2 years ago, i tend to curse an awful fucking lot.

anyways, as i was saying, i wish you would be the type of person who can actually fucking understand that people have different coping mechanisms and psychological wires. the kind of human being who doesn't selfishly look at the entire human race from a selfish point of view that makes me wonder how they managed to shove their own heads up their asses and see from there. i'm still hoping to come across a decent fucking person who has the quality in them that gets them going even when they sometimes see themselves being washed away towards the opposite end of the river.

what i meant by "willing to approach me first", is that, when i'm being caught up in my occasional fucking mood drops and decide to kick you the fuck away from me, you should be willing to set aside your fear of getting your balls kicked out through your mouth and come over to talk to me about what's happening. then when i tell you it's not something you should be involved in, then you should be willing to retreat for a while.

√ bros before hoes

- this one is more of a friend thing, actually.

when you want to be friends with me or some shit irl, then you shouldn't be the type of person who puts lovers before buddies. like, for example, we got plans to just dive into a river and swim, potentially drowning ourselves for a good minute, then your whiny fucking girlfriend or boyfriend decides to jump in as well, then you actually consent to it, i am so going to fucking ditch the idea of being interconnected with an oversized asswipe like you.

i understand you'd not want to get a breakup, because of the ugliness of your lover's personality, by not having them with you on every single fucking outing you ought to have, but bitch fucking please. you have aaalll the goddamned time to spend with your flirty bitch and so little time to spend with a bro at all. i mean, it's not that i'm being a sourpuss about your relationship but shit.

i just hate it when someone who has fucking suppored you about it for a goddamned while gets to be an extra in your life until the end of your fucking existence just because of that itself. and the worst part of this is that, when your relationship goes wrong, you run to me because you "trust me the most" and whine and shit and i have to pretend to actually be sad as well. fuck that.

√ you're weaker than me

- emotionally or physically, i fucking care not. it's not because i'm an abusive shitface who wants to beat my lover half to death when i'm fucking stressed or whatnot.

but...

okay. this is fucking seriously pretty cheesy and all that shit, and you'd find your eyes rolling to the point that you'd be worried they won't return to the way the used to, but here:

i have serious issues about self-worth or some shit, and i think the only way to prove to myself that i'm not useless as fuck is by having someone to protect. like, shelter and shit, rescue from slugfests you got caught up in, fucking hug when you're scared and crying, just... that kind of shit i would have been ashamed to admit if i was asked about it a few months ago. i'd want someone who consults me about their problems and straightforwardly admits it when they're feeling awful. or maybe tries to hide it, but is bad at doing so.

i know, i have odd as fuck preferences and my strange attraction towards people who openly cry when they're sad but don't exaggerate and actually try to hide it is seriously bugging me, but damn. i just can't explain this shit to you very much because it's literally fucking taking ounces of courage out of me, for fuck's sake.

i like it when i have this little cinnamon roll to protect from the harmful elements of modern-day society, who doesn't uselessly whine more than a fucking puppy out of sheer ulterior motives. i guess you could really call me selfish, because i once was a weak little shit just like this when i was younger. who knows, i still might be, but the fact that i want someone to fucking see me as a shield and a lance is an improvement from me wanting someone to be what i mentioned, in my life. it's probably a secret want to see a mirror image of my younger self being helped by someone i've always wanted to come along. i don't know.

but anyways, the point is that, i don't want someone who takes responsibility over me. i want someone whom i can take responsibility for, and trusts me enough not to fear approaching me when i'm having my own shit. i just can't explain anymore, my fucking god.

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all in all, it's just a selfish as fuck list that probably wouldn't match up to anyone. but guys, the last thing on the fucking list is the most important out of all of this shit i blabbered on about. because it's impossible to be someone like that when you're either one of those mentioned above. it's not that i'm looking for some friend like this among you people. i just use "you" to make sentence construction simpler because i fucking swear to your goddamned asses, i can't english.

also, this list is a part of why normies don't fucking get me at all.

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T a g g i n g 3 h o m o s a p i e n s

RosieRevenge

Noob-Chan

StupidRabbitAlice

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