I think it's real this time and that scares me.
My crushes are never real. They don't last, and if I end up dating them, it's usually a short relationship. But it's different here.
I know you can't be in love at 15, but it's something.
I actually want to talk to somebody for the first time in a year.
I'm not the clingy type, and I don't like attention, but when he's around all I want is for him to pay attention to me.
I don't text first, not ever, but now I do
I enjoy talking to him. And I know he told me he's not ready to date, and I'm willing to wait for him to be ready.
And that's what scares me too.

I'm just confused and sad I suppose.
Forgive me for rambling or sounding dramatic, im just feeling poetic and I'm all mixed up right now. I'm not doing very well with my friendships, and I know very well it's my own damn fault for being such a self depreciating scumbag.

On the bright side, I've been working on a new drawing

I think it's turning out pretty well so far