The year: 921

[Unknown location]
Camelot,
Albion

[Merlin's POV]

Sorcerers were known for creating and using spells. I was supposedly the greatest, most powerful sorcerer of all time, so obviously, I had invented my fair share of them too. Particularly fond of the sickness-inducing and the pass-of-for-dead ones, I had luckily never been on the receiving end of any of my inventions, at least, not until this very moment. 

"Boy, there is a first for everything." Sir Taliesen used to say that every time he wanted me to try something he had concocted. 

"If it doesn't kill you, you are lucky, and I deserve to be thanked because I had a chance to kill you but didn't." That was another of the old healer's quotes. 

'But why was I thinking of him now?' I racked my brain but drew a blank. 

"Merlin, you idiot!" The words were Arthur's, but they fell from Morgana's lips.

'Your lips are pretty, Morgana.' I thought, and a moment later, cold air passed through my left cheek. 

I blinked.

"Bloody hell!" Morgana exclaimed, staring at her hands as if she had seen a ghost, "Are you kidding me right now!?" Her beautiful pale gray eyes bore into mine. Furious. 

Was I imagining it, or had they grown lighter?

On closer inspection, I found that many things didn't make sense. 

Why was Morgana standing so close?

Why did she look so offended?

How had she managed to get filth on her face?

I reached for her face, but instead of touching her flawless ivory skin, my fingers passed through her. As our eyes met and held for a long moment, my confusion turned to fear. 

It couldn't be, could it?

I hadn't killed her again, had I!?

"Merlin," Morgana's breath didn't reach me, but her exasperation did, "You didn't kill me, and we are not dead." She shook her head and looked to her left, "At least, not yet." She glanced at me again, "Were you worried that I would burn myself with the whip, Merlin?" She questioned and snorted before I could reply, "I am so stupid. How can I even-"

When Morgana mentioned her whip, my mind wandered. I found my footing again as I realized what had just happened.

"I was worried." I blurted out.

I have always worried about you, Morgana. I never stopped.

Morgana narrowed her eyes and fixed me with a calculating gaze, "Merlin, I think I can hear your thoughts." 

That's ridiculous. 

"No, it's not, Merlin."

I felt a chill run down my spine; the trapping spell had gone wrong! 

"Snap out of it, will you?!" Morgana waved her hand in front of my face, "I don't know where we are! Think, you idiot, where were you trying to trap me?"

"Well," My hand moved into my head by itself. Over the years, I had developed this habit of scratching my head while working my mind.

However, as it had done with Morgana, my fingers went right through my head and tickled my skull. 

'We are not in our bodies!'  The realization pierced the shield of calm that I had worn like armor in order to keep panic at bay. But now, with my armor damaged, the uncomfortable, almost suffocating sensation marched into my person, making me feel colder than ever. 

"Merlin, calm down! Listen to me. We are not dead. If I am not mistaken, the spell you used on me was a trapping spell," she guessed and asked, "Did you modify it by any chance? Your casting was slightly different from how it's written in text."

I nodded my head, "You are right." I was grateful to not have a mortal body right now, for shame wasn't a good look on me, "I could feel mortal danger around me, and there were just the two of us there..."

"And obviously, you automatically presumed that I wanted to kill you," she said, rolling her eyes and crossing her hands over her middle. 

"Weren't you?" I retorted, "Let me remind you, Morgana, we were in the middle of a battle, and you were-"

"If I wanted you dead, you would be. I never meant to kill you... at least, not since-" Morgana paused and averted her eyes, "since I realized who you were, Emrys."

A few awkward moments of silence followed her confession before Morgana- decided to ignore what she had said- and got busy inspecting her surroundings. 

She was done in a few seconds. There wasn't much to explore. As she pretended to immerse herself in examining a particularly exciting nook, I tried to clear my head and thought back to what I had done to land myself in this tiny, confined space.

Not only did I want to cast a spell to trap Morgana's conscience inside the oak tree, I wanted to do more. Fearing that she would use her magic to free herself, I had thought it best to seal her magic in the emerald-encrusted amulet left to me by my father, who had received it as a token of appreciation from Nimueh long ago when he had shown loyalty to her by assisting her to flee from Uther's clutches. 

The emerald had great power, for, among other things, It could hold all the magic in the world and remain untraceable. Needless to say, it was my greatest treasure, next only to the invisibility cloak.

"You were planning to do what!?" Morgana yelled, clenching her fists, agitated; I couldn't understand what had brought it on, especially since I had said nothing. 

"Merlin, you idiot, get on board, please. I just told you that I can hear your thoughts. Stop making me listen to your ramblings and say whatever you want to in short, clear sentences. Do you understand?"

Imaginary bile rose to my throat when the gravity of what Morgana had told me sunk in.

This feeling of being exposed was not something I was used to. 

Why? Because living with magic running through my veins, right under Uther's nose for years, had made me excellent at hiding what I was, so much so that I started taking pride in it.

Thus, I had many secrets and many apprehensions. I was no longer the open book that had walked into Camelot with eyes full of dreams. My destiny was mine to control, and it was my duty to weaponize Arthur for the betterment of the world.

'Stop thinking about Arthur!' I reprimanded myself and watched in shock as Morgana smiled, actually smiled!

Damn it. No! Don't fucking swear!!! Shit!

Morgana's smile turned to a grimace, "There must be a way to avoid listening to your rambles," she stated and turned away from me, "Think of something, anything. I want to know if I can still hear you like this."

It was at this moment that the cloud surrounding my memories lifted. Now that Morgana had told me she was not trying to kill me, I felt guiltier than ever. 

I closed my eyes and thought as loud as I could. 'I might have trapped us in an oak tree...possibly for eternity. Luckily, my conscience is connected with Arnica, and she must have swallowed the emerald that now encases both our powers. As long as she is alive, I can channel my magic through her to a certain extent. Unfortunately, I don't know what I can achieve with such limited resources,' pausing, I added, 'I am truly sorry, Morgana.'