— Look at my drip woah

1.9k retweets     4k likes

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kingnamjoon: why do you look high
> kookoonut: because I am 🥰

jinniethepooh: fUCK

peachiichim: tell your one night stand that I have a freaking boyfRIEND and I'm not interest in his licking chocolate off my ankles kink

taesty: I don't mind getting my heart broken if it's by a snack like you 🙏

—

— Rare aesthetic: Min Yoongi's smile

875 retweets      1.1k likes

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yoongay: it's only a rare aesthetic when I'm around you
> peachiichim: you're the worst boyfriend ever 💔

kookoonut: He's the literal human form of ☺️

hobisexual: Threesome?
> peachiichim: go bald and I'll consider it

—

TWITTER CHAT
taesty

JUNGKOOK
hey

TAEHYUNG
oh hi Jungkook!

TAEHYUNG
I didn't expect you to text me

JUNGKOOK
well I'm full of surprises 😉

TAEHYUNG
Jesus

TAEHYUNG
what did you want to talk about?

JUNGKOOK
I don't know

TAEHYUNG
nice-

TAEHYUNG
so you just texted me with no reason at all?

JUNGKOOK
Maybe I wanted to talk to
you 🙄

TAEHYUNG
That's what I thought

TAEHYUNG
missed me that much, huh?

JUNGKOOK
shut up

TAEHYUNG
Only if you admit it

JUNGKOOK
Sorry my mom always told me not to lie

TAEHYUNG
maybe you should listen to her more often then

JUNGKOOK
Maybe I should

TAEHYUNG
are you okay?

JUNGKOOK
Of course! Why wouldn't I be?

TAEHYUNG
Nothing, you're just surprisingly calm

JUNGKOOK
Is that so?

JUNGKOOK
hold up

JUNGKOOK
don't tell me you miss my sexual jokes?

TAEHYUNG
I never said that! I just said you were oddly calm

JUNGKOOK
Yeah, marijuana does that to a person

TAEHYUNG
The way I choked on my snickers bar and passed out on the floor is very unfunny

TAEHYUNG
and kinda painful

JUNGKOOK
Damn your gag reflex must suck

JUNGKOOK
No pun intended btw

TAEHYUNG
Jungkook I swear-

JUNGKOOK
☹️

TAEHYUNG
like I said earlier

TAEHYUNG
I never said I missed your sexual jokes

JUNGKOOK
ouch daddy

TAEHYUNG
sksjskdjskjd

JUNGKOOK
Beware Tae

JUNGKOOK
I can see you blushing from
here 👀

TAEHYUNG
I'm not blushing

TAEHYUNG
I just wasn't expecting it that's all

TAEHYUNG
I'm really not into that whole daddy thing, unfortunately for you apparently

JUNGKOOK
WhatevEr

JUNGKOOK
You're still blushing

TAEHYUNG

TAEHYUNG
I'm not

kookoonut saved taesty's picture!

TAEHYUNG
Tsk

TAEHYUNG
if you wanted to see my face you could've just asked, y'know?

JUNGKOOK
Shut up

JUNGKOOK
you're just

TAEHYUNG
I'm...?

JUNGKOOK
ridiculously attractive

TAEHYUNG
is that so?

JUNGKOOK
Don't judge me

TAEHYUNG
I could never 😌

JUNGKOOK
Liar

JUNGKOOK
you judged me the second I saved that picture

TAEHYUNG
okay, maybe I did

TAEHYUNG
but it's not my fault you're so easily flustered

JUNGKOOK
I'm not flustered

JUNGKOOK
don't think I fell in love with you from your selca

TAEHYUNG
ouch babes

TAEHYUNG
am I not hot enough for you?

JUNGKOOK
you need me to feed your ego again?

JUNGKOOK
how insecure are you?

TAEHYUNG
I'm not insecure, but I never say no to a few compliments

TAEHYUNG
especially if they're from you

JUNGKOOK
you must be getting way enough compliments already with your amazing looks

TAEHYUNG
they're all meaningless to me

JUNGKOOK
Fuck okay then playboy

TAEHYUNG
compliments from random people don't really matter to me

TAEHYUNG
I want compliments from my bestie's hot, sex-addicted friend

JUNGKOOK
That's cute but I don't care

TAEHYUNG
then you won't get any pictures of me for a while

JUNGKOOK
fuck

JUNGKOOK
fine, asshole

JUNGKOOK
You're fucking hot and I want to sit on your dick

JUNGKOOK
Is that good enough for you?

TAEHYUNG
that's perfect

JUNGKOOK
do I get a reward now?

TAEHYUNG
what kind of reward 😳

JUNGKOOK
I think you owe me a picture

JUNGKOOK
And if you could also eat me out while you're at it I wouldn't say
no 🤰🏻

TAEHYUNG
Aren't you supposed to keep it child friendly when you're talking to me?

JUNGKOOK
I am

JUNGKOOK
but I thought about it

JUNGKOOK
and then I decided

JUNGKOOK
Fuck Jimin

JUNGKOOK
I can do whatever I want

JUNGKOOK
I'm a free bitch baby 💅

TAEHYUNG
Hold tf up

TAEHYUNG
Jimin is the one who told you not to do anything sexual with me ?

JUNGKOOK
shIT

JUNGKOOK
um

JUNGKOOK
no?

TAEHYUNG
I'm so gonna crush him with my timberlands

JUNGKOOK
I volunteer to be crushed too when you're done with him

TAEHYUNG
You're so weird

JUNGKOOK
I know 😔

JUNGKOOK
I'm still waiting on that picture btw

TAEHYUNG
right

TAEHYUNG
here you go

TAEHYUNG

kookoonut saved taesty's picture!

TAEHYUNG
I'm curious to know what you're gonna do with this

JUNGKOOK
Don't worry about it
Taehyungie 🥰

JUNGKOOK
I'm gonna go take a shower now, go talk to Jimin and convince him to let me flirt with you please

TAEHYUNG
It's not like you ever cared about what he says anyways

JUNGKOOK
just do it okay?

JUNGKOOK
that way I won't have to feel bad when I flirt with you

TAEHYUNG
Alright then

TAEHYUNG
wish me luck

JUNGKOOK
Good luck 👍

TAEHYUNG
no one uses that emoji

JUNGKOOK
Go burn in the deepest pits of Hell

TAEHYUNG
not cool but I'm used to it

JUNGKOOK
brah

TAEHYUNG
fucks sake

—

TWITTER CHAT
peachiichim

TAEHYUNG
twinkle twinkle little star

TAEHYUNG
I will hit you with my car

JIMIN
Where's the respect for your hyung?

TAEHYUNG
On the floor, ready to be crushed at the same time as you

JIMIN
Wow 😳

JIMIN
someone is in a bad mood today

TAEHYUNG
I wasn't this morning

TAEHYUNG
but then I talked with Jungkook

JIMIN
And he put you in a bad mood?

JIMIN
Don't worry bro it happens to me all the time

JIMIN
I'm spending a nice, peaceful day and then this idiot slides in my DMs and asks me how baby lions are made on a scale of ten

TAEHYUNG
first of all what the fUCK

TAEHYUNG
that doesn't make sense-

JIMIN
don't you think I know that? 😤

JIMIN

TAEHYUNG
Damn his pfp is sexy

TAEHYUNG
but wait

TAEHYUNG
we're drifting away from what I wanted to ask you

JIMIN
are we??

JIMIN
well what did you want to ask?

TAEHYUNG
Try to guess

JIMIN
Why do we even have eyebrows?

TAEHYUNG
...

TAEHYUNG
no

JIMIN
well I don't know then

TAEHYUNG
why did you tell Jungkook not to flirt with me?

JIMIN
I-

JIMIN
I don't recall saying such a
thing 🙈

TAEHYUNG
you're so bad at lying

JIMIN
I'm not lying!

JIMIN
I truly never said that

JIMIN
JUNGKOOK WHY DID YOU TELL TAEHYUNG ABOUT OUR DEAL IM GOING TO STEP ON YOUR BALLS UNTIL THEY EXPLODE

TAEHYUNG
...?

JIMIN
oops

JIMIN
wrong chat ☺️

TAEHYUNG
That's what I thought 💀

TAEHYUNG
but don't dodge my question

TAEHYUNG
why did you tell him that?

JIMIN
because I know how he is Tae

JIMIN
and I know how you are

JIMIN
I don't want anything bad to happen

TAEHYUNG
I'm an adult Jiminie, I can make decisions by myself

JIMIN
I know, I know okay?

JIMIN
it's just

JIMIN
I know you tend to fall in love really easily

JIMIN
and Jungkook

JIMIN
well, he's just Jungkook

JIMIN
he doesn't want a relationship with anyone and hates the idea of being in one

JIMIN
I hate to say it like that but the only thing he's interested in is sex and partying

JIMIN
he's not the kind of guy you want to be with, Tae

JIMIN
and I'm not saying that to annoy you, I'm serious about this

JIMIN
like, I really love Jungkook... he's an amazing best friend and a great person

JIMIN
but if you try to get with him he'll only break your heart, trust me

JIMIN
I watched it happen so many times

TAEHYUNG
what do you mean by that?

JIMIN
Just

JIMIN
him flirting with someone and then dropping them when he gets bored or finds someone better

JIMIN
he doesn't know how to love anymore, Tae

JIMIN
And it's not his fault but you don't have to suffer the consequences of it

TAEHYUNG
then I'll teach him

JIMIN
excuse me?

TAEHYUNG
there must be reasons he's like that, right?

JIMIN
there are, but I doubt he'll tell you

TAEHYUNG
But it's worth a try

TAEHYUNG
I don't think Jungkook likes breaking people's hearts

TAEHYUNG
I think he needs help to love again

TAEHYUNG
and I've been told that I'm a pretty awesome teacher 😌

JIMIN
whoever told you that was lying

TAEHYUNG
it was you

JIMIN
Oh.

TAEHYUNG
anyways, I'm gonna be the best hyung and help Jungkook out

TAEHYUNG
his head and heart are probably messy and I'm gonna try to help him sort everything out

JIMIN
I don't think this is a good idea

JIMIN
Actually scratch that, it's the worst idea I've ever heard

TAEHYUNG
are you kidding me?

TAEHYUNG
I think it's a wonderful idea

JIMIN
it really isn't

JIMIN
you barely know him! You can't just "teach him how to love" out of nowhere Tae

TAEHYUNG
I'll get to know him

TAEHYUNG
And it's not like that, I just feel like he needs help

JIMIN
he probably doesn't want you in his life

TAEHYUNG
he'll have to deal with my presence in it anyway

JIMIN
sigh

TAEHYUNG
Wish me luck!

JIMIN
sigh #2

—

— Wtf did I do

1k retweets       2.4k likes

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yoongay: are you okay Minnie?

kingnamjoon: my reaction after breaking the pan trying to make cookies
> hobisexual: you don't even need a pan to make cookies...

kookoonut: ayo that's me-

taesty: don't worry about it Chim

Uh oh 👀