TWITTER GROUP CHAT
7 hoes

JUNGKOOK
hi there

JUNGKOOK
Do y'all think fishes can drown?

NAMJOON
if they get hit by a rock then yes

YOONGI
why would they get hit by a rock in the first place??

NAMJOON
Well I don't know I was just answering Jungkook's existential question 😤

TAEHYUNG
I wouldn't use the term 'existential' but sure, Joon

JUNGKOOK
don't criticize my existential questions 😡

JUNGKOOK
You don't even want to fuck me 🙄 you're not allowed to speak to me

TAEHYUNG
when did I ever say I didn't wanna fuck you-

SEOKJIN
Count me in 📌

HOSEOK
what's with the... pin emoji??

JUNGKOOK
I think it's sexy

JUNGKOOK
makes me feel all hot and fuzzy inside

HOSEOK
damn

NAMJOON
Let's add 'aroused by pin emojis' to the unending list of Weird Jungkook Things

JUNGKOOK
I have a list?

JUNGKOOK
damn, it must be long

JUNGKOOK
like my dick 🤤

YOONGI
what -

JUNGKOOK
y'know

JUNGKOOK
Sometimes I wonder if guys with a really big dick can

JUNGKOOK
y'know... suck themselves off?

TAEHYUNG
They'd have to be hella flexible-

JUNGKOOK
'They' ? So you don't have a big dick?

JUNGKOOK
shame

TAEHYUNG
shut up 💀

NAMJOON
knowing the world, some guys probably tried tbh

HOSEOK
is no one else concerned about what kind of bullshit this dude is speaking?

JUNGKOOK
I just saw a butthole in the clouds

NAMJOON
A what now?

TAEHYUNG
did it have wings?

JIMIN
don't encourage him-

SEOKJIN
if there are buttholes in the clouds, why are we wasting our time on earth?

HOSEOK
fr

TAEHYUNG
agreed. That place is boring asf

JUNGKOOK
Oh no! :(

JIMIN
what's wrong, Kook??

JUNGKOOK
the butthole flew away

TAEHYUNG
Was it hairy

JIMIN
I said don't encourage him 😤

JUNGKOOK
it wasn't hairy

JUNGKOOK
it was purple

JUNGKOOK
and super cute

JIMIN
alright, he's probably high

YOONGI
don't try to find an excuse for his weirdness

TAEHYUNG
oh, I see

TAEHYUNG
he told me he was going to smoke

TAEHYUNG
so it's no surprise that he's talking nonsense

HOSEOK
are you sure it's not just his normal behavior-

NAMJOON
the real question is

NAMJOON
what the hell does he smoke

JUNGKOOK
grass

JUNGKOOK
🐄🐄🐄

YOONGI
not the cows-

JIMIN
yep, he's definitely high

TAEHYUNG
STUPID HEATER

TAEHYUNG
ALL I DID WAS KICK YOU A LITTLE NO NEED TO STOP WORKING

TAEHYUNG
I was just trying to push you to do better 💔

TAEHYUNG
now it's cold in here

TAEHYUNG
I'm cold

JUNGKOOK
want me to cock warm you? 🥰

TAEHYUNG
I mean, if you're offering...

JIMIN
🔫

NAMJOON
you're threatening him with a water pistol..?

JIMIN
🪓

NAMJOON
damn alright

NAMJOON
no need to get agressive 😤

JUNGKOOK
did you know that if your dick is bigger than 7 inches, it can tear the vagina apart?

YOONGI
Damn 😳

SEOKJIN
I'm in trouble 🚪 🏃‍♂️💨

NAMJOON
you're gay and a bottom, Jin

NAMJOON
your dick doesn't go anywhere except between my sexy hands

YOONGI
ew

HOSEOK
ew

JUNGKOOK
hot

TAEHYUNG
I love talking with high Jungkook

JUNGKOOK
and I love sex 🙏

HOSEOK
you just ruined the mood

YOONGI
I'm done-

JIMIN
imagine how tired I am, after having to handle him for 18 years

JUNGKOOK
You weren't saying that when I was sitting on your dick

JIMIN
I don't remember such a thing

TAEHYUNG
✨ bullshit ✨

YOONGI
Jimin?

JIMIN
yes?

YOONGI
get your ass over here

YOONGI
now

SEOKJIN
woah 😳

NAMJOON
he really switched on the daddy mode

JUNGKOOK
omg Jimin you are SO getting spanked  

JUNGKOOK
I'm such a great friend 🥰

JIMIN
Fuck you

JUNGKOOK
you know I'm always down 😉

YOONGI
Jungkook?

JUNGKOOK
yes? Want to spank me too? I'm so down for it daddy 🤤

YOONGI
no

YOONGI
I just wanted to say that I don't care wether you're high or not

YOONGI
if you make a move on Jimin I'll break your jaw

YOONGI
is that clear?

SEOKJIN
fuck, I came

JIMIN
me too

JUNGKOOK
clearer than my glass dildo, master

NAMJOON
oh my god what the fuck am I even reading anymore

TAEHYUNG
someone handcuff him

HOSEOK
...

TAEHYUNG
Not to do anything kinky! Just to stop him from typing any more shit

SEOKJIN
I wouldn't mind handcuffing him

JUNGKOOK
I wouldn't mind being handcuffed by you

TAEHYUNG
but that's not happening

SEOKJIN
jealous hoe

JUNGKOOK
don't be jealous Tae

JUNGKOOK
I can give you something even better 👀

NAMJOON
I'm cringing so hard

NAMJOON
time to naruto run the fuck away from this cursed group chat

JUNGKOOK
bye bitch

JUNGKOOK
anyways, I need to blow off some steam

JUNGKOOK
see ya later 🥰

TAEHYUNG
where are you going?

JUNGKOOK
to get fucked, as usual

HOSEOK
we ain't surprised

TAEHYUNG
Please stop talking

SEOKJIN
I smell ✨ jealousy ✨

TAEHYUNG
He wishes 😩

—

TWITTER CHAT
taesty

JUNGKOOK
Can I call you papi?

TAEHYUNG
no 💀

JUNGKOOK
Master?

TAEHYUNG
No-

JUNGKOOK
big boy?

TAEHYUNG
nope

JUNGKOOK
hot stuff?

TAEHYUNG
never

JUNGKOOK
daddy?

TAEHYUNG
I'll think about it 😌

JUNGKOOK
My one night stand is late 😔

TAEHYUNG
what?-

JUNGKOOK
The person who's supposed to fuck me, Heechan

JUNGKOOK
he's late

JUNGKOOK
and my dick is cold asf

JUNGKOOK
maybe I should wrap a sock around it to keep it warm

TAEHYUNG
for the love of god and everything that is holy

TAEHYUNG
do not put a sock on your dick

TAEHYUNG
unless you want to get nasty things on it 🤢

JUNGKOOK
like what?

TAEHYUNG
I don't know and I don't wanna know

TAEHYUNG
but just make sure your dick doesn't fall off please

JUNGKOOK
I didn't know you cared about my dick, daddy

TAEHYUNG
shut up 😔 I'm just taking care of you

JUNGKOOK
like a good daddy 🤤

TAEHYUNG
Fuck's sake

JUNGKOOK
oh, Heechan is here!

JUNGKOOK
well, I'm off to get my ass eaten out 🥰

JUNGKOOK
buh bye!

TAEHYUNG
:/

—

TWITTER CHAT
peachiichim

NAMJOON
Kinky is such a cute word

NAMJOON
It's actually kinda sad that it means what it means

JIMIN
um first of all hello

NAMJOON
I don't even say wassup

NAMJOON
I just tell him what I want

JIMIN
shut up with your Megan thee stallion references

JIMIN
Or I'll come to your house and personally chop your dick off

NAMJOON
that must hurt

JIMIN
I don't know

JIMIN
ask Yoongi

NAMJOON
I-

NAMJOON
what the fuck

NAMJOON
isn't this like, illegal?

JIMIN
I don't think there's a special law in the constitution that says that I can't chop my boyfriend's dick off

NAMJOON
Darling that's not how it works-

JIMIN

NAMJOON
how lovely

NAMJOON
But I'm just curious how can the... "sexual part" of your relationship work if he doesn't have any more dick?

JIMIN
I bought him a new one

JIMIN
bigger

JIMIN
but don't tell him I said that

JIMIN
he used to feel insecure about his dick size

JIMIN
now he doesn't anymore 😔

NAMJOON
what if the new dick gets stuck in your hole -

JIMIN
then I'd laugh at anyone who says I have a stick up my ass 🚶🏻‍♀️

NAMJOON
Bad joke but I'm used to it

JIMIN
at least I make jokes 💃🏻

NAMJOON
Always appreciated

NAMJOON
Anyways, I gotta go

JIMIN
say Joon are you still on Grindr?

JIMIN
my French teacher told me he matched with a certain Kim Namjoon on there

NAMJOON
um

NAMJOON
first of all what kind of relationship do you have with your French teacher?

JIMIN
one that includes a lot of cul

NAMJOON
I'm not even gonna translate that

JIMIN
it means sex

JIMIN
But in a very classy, French-style way

NAMJOON
as expected from Park Jimin

JIMIN
you never answered my question

NAMJOON
and I'm not going to

NAMJOON
bye bitch

JIMIN
😔

JIMIN
Alexa play 'Park Jimin is the baddest bitch' playlist

JIMIN
what I gotta do to show these girls that I own them