— This bitch got a perm and thinks he looks lit in black and white

2k retweets. 4.1k likes

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kingnamjoon: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Michael Jackson?

hobisexual: I just had an eyegasm

peachiichim: You can flex your hotness all you want, Jeongguk

peachiichim: You'll always be a bottom 💋

taesty: I'm this close 🤏 to taking up your offer and paying for your abs pictures
> peachiichim: whAT

—

TWITTER CHAT
peachiichim

JIMIN
Jungkook.

JUNGKOOK
Jimin.

JIMIN
I think we need to talk

JUNGKOOK
Do we?

JIMIN
Yes, we do!

JUNGKOOK
well, can it wait until I finished sucking this random guy's dick?

JIMIN
I-

JIMIN
Dear god

JUNGKOOK
Don't act disgusted

JUNGKOOK
you suck your boyfriend's dick every morning

JIMIN
I'm just gonna pretend like I didn't see that

JUNGKOOK
😉

JIMIN
and actually, I just wanted to warn you

JUNGKOOK
Oh?

JUNGKOOK
about what?

JIMIN
about the guys

JIMIN
Especially Tae

JUNGKOOK
what's wrong with them?

JUNGKOOK
Are they dangerous?

JUNGKOOK
or

JUNGKOOK
OMG NO WAY

JUNGKOOK
are they...

JUNGKOOK
country? 😟

JIMIN
what?-

JIMIN
no, they're not 'country' Jungkook

JUNGKOOK
oh thank god

JUNGKOOK
I hate country people

JUNGKOOK
but what's up then?

JIMIN
you can't flirt with them, Jungkook

JIMIN
You can joke around and just... be your weird self, but don't flirt

JUNGKOOK
Well, why not?

JIMIN
Because they're not like you, Jungkook!

JIMIN
especially Tae

JIMIN
he wants an actual, stable relationship with lots of cuddles and late night talks

JUNGKOOK
Where's the trigger warning for all those scary words? 😨

JIMIN
and I know that's not what you want

JIMIN
...can you let me taLk-

JUNGKOOK
sorry 😔

JIMIN
so I'm warning you

JIMIN
if you play with him I'll literally break your bones and make you swallow them

JUNGKOOK
kinky 🥵

JIMIN
I'm not joking, Kook.

JUNGKOOK
Fine.

JUNGKOOK
taehyung is officially on my blacklist

JUNGKOOK
right below Min Yoongi 🥰

JUNGKOOK
Happy now?

JIMIN
Very 😌

JIMIN
It's best for the two of
you, Jungkook

JIMIN
stick to being friends, alright?

JUNGKOOK
Friends with benefits works then?

JIMIN
nope

JIMIN
he's off the hook 🙅🏻‍♂️ don't even try

JUNGKOOK
That's too bad

JUNGKOOK
I finally found a guy that isn't straight, taken or using me as an experiment

JUNGKOOK
And you go ahead and do this 😔

JIMIN
We both know you don't care about all these criteria anyway

JIMIN
you would still flirt with them

JUNGKOOK
That's very true 😌

JUNGKOOK
fuck

JIMIN
what??

JUNGKOOK
Nothing, I just need to go wash my face

JUNGKOOK
See ya later Chim!

JIMIN
why would you need to wash your face?

JIMIN
wait 😳

JIMIN
GROSS 🤢

JIMIN
Jeon Jungkook, you're
disgusting 😤

—

TWITTER CHAT
Bros & hoes

SEOKJIN
anyone remember the Spice girls?

NAMJOON
Who doesn't?

TAEHYUNG
we had to sing to a bunch of their songs for a school show

TAEHYUNG
which could have been a great experience for me if my hair hadn't looked like THIS

TAEHYUNG

HOSEOK
I'm so sorry for laughing 😭

YOONGI
me after a 16 hour nap

JUNGKOOK
I don't even know who the spice girls are tbh

YOONGI
you just lost all my respect 😔

JUNGKOOK
that's fine

JUNGKOOK
I only care about your
stamina 🥰

JIMIN
That's my fucking boyfriend Jungkook

JUNGKOOK
...oops?

SEOKJIN
you can flirt with me instead 🤩

NAMJOON
OMG I'm on straight TikTok again

HOSEOK
How do you even?-

NAMJOON
I don't know I think I watched too many TikToks of people showing off their side profiles on that one song

JIMIN
my side profile is flawless ✨

YOONGI
everything about you is flawless

TAEHYUNG
that's so disgustingly cute

HOSEOK
agreed

JUNGKOOK
I've been on horny TikTok for 4 months and I'm not
complaining 🥰

JIMIN
no one is surprised, Kook

JUNGKOOK
😔

SEOKJIN
hey guys

SEOKJIN
What did the sushi say to the bee?

NAMJOON
Oh no-

HOSEOK
please don't-

JIMIN
I'm leaving-

YOONGI
same-

TAEHYUNG
bye-

JUNGKOOK
what did it say?

SEOKJIN
wasabi? 🥰

hobisexual left the chat!

peachiichim left the chat!

taesty left the chat!

kingnamjoon left the chat!

yoongay left the chat!

SEOKJIN
They're not ready for my superior sense of humor 😉

JUNGKOOK
I don't get your joke

SEOKJIN
That's because you suck at
English 😔🤙

JUNGKOOK
hey! I once got a B on a test!

SEOKJIN
Really? what was the test about?

JUNGKOOK
days of the week

SEOKJIN
💀

—

TWITTER CHAT
taesty

TAEHYUNG
heyyy

JUNGKOOK
4/10

TAEHYUNG
what?

JUNGKOOK
Oh don't mind me I'm just judging everyone's way to start a convo

JUNGKOOK
Yours wasn't really original

JUNGKOOK
I expected better from a snack like yourself

TAEHYUNG
well

TAEHYUNG
Can I get a redo?

JUNGKOOK
I don't do redos

TAEHYUNG
sad 😔

JUNGKOOK
but since you're hot as fuck I'll make an exception 😉

TAEHYUNG
nice 👀

JUNGKOOK
dazzle me 🥴

TAEHYUNG
Okay, so

TAEHYUNG
AhEm

TAEHYUNG
*clears throat*

TAEHYUNG
What do you think about the political system in Sweden?

JUNGKOOK
...

JUNGKOOK
I have no idea what Sweden is, but it sounds sexy

JUNGKOOK
I'll give you a 10/10

TAEHYUNG
I don't know what Sweden is either tbh 🤷🏻‍♂️

TAEHYUNG
but WikiHow told me that asking for someone's opinion on something was a good way to start a conversation

TAEHYUNG
so that's what I did, and it
worked 🥰

JUNGKOOK
You're one of a kind, Taehyung

JUNGKOOK
I've never seen someone purposely expose themselves

JUNGKOOK
but you can be my first, I don't mind

TAEHYUNG
am I original enough for you then?

JUNGKOOK
I'm gonna need more than that to have an opinion on you, sir

TAEHYUNG
oh?

JUNGKOOK
Tell me 3 fun facts about you and I'll judge 🥰

TAEHYUNG
why 3?-

JUNGKOOK
because I have 3 holes

JUNGKOOK
Duh 🙄

TAEHYUNG
I-

TAEHYUNG
3? 🤔

JUNGKOOK
don't ask, darling

JUNGKOOK
just do as I say 🥰

TAEHYUNG
alright-

TAEHYUNG
1- I lived and studied in America for 2 years

TAEHYUNG
2- I have two gay dads

JUNGKOOK
Are they hot? 🤩

TAEHYUNG
not really 🤷🏻‍♂️

JUNGKOOK
sucks 💔

TAEHYUNG
3- I once walked in on Jimin having sex with his boyfriend in an empty classroom

JUNGKOOK
interesting...

JUNGKOOK
Let me take notes-

TAEHYUNG
sure..?

JUNGKOOK
Did Jimin have his nipples clamped when you walked in on him and Yoongi? 👀

TAEHYUNG
I-

TAEHYUNG
I don't know?

TAEHYUNG
why would you even ask that 😭

JUNGKOOK
For science, of course!

TAEHYUNG
science doesn't need to know about Jimin's nipples 💀

JUNGKOOK
yep. It only needs to know about my amazing body and blowjob skills 🥰

TAEHYUNG
what-

JUNGKOOK
I'd show you, but unfortunately I've been told not to do anything sexual with you, so I'll just suck you off in my dreams

TAEHYUNG
one, that's fucking weird

TAEHYUNG
two, who told you that?

JUNGKOOK
I'm not snitching 👀

JUNGKOOK
I don't want to get fingered to death

JUNGKOOK
I mean, I kinda do

JUNGKOOK
but the boy who told me that probably won't finger my ass 😔 He'll just shove his nasty fingers down my throat and choke me with it

JUNGKOOK
Not that I'd mind, tho

JUNGKOOK
but you catch my drift

TAEHYUNG
Who said that, Jungkook?

TAEHYUNG
I promise I won't tell him you told me

TAEHYUNG
who told you not to do anything sexual with me?

JUNGKOOK
Idk

JUNGKOOK
I forgot their name

JUNGKOOK
but they probably care about you a lot

JUNGKOOK
they forced me to keep my sex references to a minimum when I'm around you

JUNGKOOK
...

JUNGKOOK
I'm not sure if I followed their orders tho

TAEHYUNG
Jungkook I swear-

JUNGKOOK
now that I think about it, I haven't smoked in a while

TAEHYUNG
you smoke??

JUNGKOOK
only when I feel like it 😌

JUNGKOOK
and also when I'm alone

JUNGKOOK
which happens quite often, actually

JUNGKOOK
but that's besides the point!

JUNGKOOK
smoking is sexy 🥴 I always listen to slowed songs while doing it because it's a vibe

JUNGKOOK
I wish I had a smoking buddy tho

JUNGKOOK
but it's fine

JUNGKOOK
I don't need anybody as long as I have sex 😌💅

TAEHYUNG
that's actually really sad if you think about it

JUNGKOOK
I know right ??? Whip out the violins 😭🎻

TAEHYUNG
I wasn't kidding-

JUNGKOOK
oh

JUNGKOOK
well

JUNGKOOK
I like living like this, so don't worry about me 😎

JUNGKOOK
Been a bitch still that bitch 💋

TAEHYUNG
Do you really like living like this though?
read

—

— Damn my teeth do be looking real sexy tho

1.2k retweets 2.4k likes

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hotseok: 🌈 smol 🌈

jinniethepooh: 🌈 cute 🌈

kingjoonie: 🌈 tiny 🌈

yoongay: 🌈 baby boy 🌈

kookoonut: 🌈 papi 🌈

—

— Me rn

1.4K retweets    2.7k likes

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kingnamjoon: Felt 💔

kookoonut: me but replace Sunghoon with a carton of banana milk

taesty: Blink twice if you need help Sunghoon

—

— I bet my ass Taehyung and Jungkook will end up together

2.4k retweets     3.8k likes

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yoongay: why would anyone want your ass when
the 🌸 jibooty 🌸 exists?

jinniethepooh: Can we talk about his lips for a second

kookoonut: I don't do relationships but I'll gladly let him do me

taesty: who knows?

peachiichim: gay sigh

Look up in the sky it's the angst coming to haunt you in a few chapters ❤️