Depression. A normal person would describe it as someone being sad. An idiot would describe it as someone wanting attention. A depressed person only knows what it's like.

Depression is hard to describe, the best I can describe it as, is a dark cloud that never leaves you. A cloud that rains all the time with little breaks. A cloud that causes you to feel sad all the time. A cloud that takes away your energy to do things.

It leaves you feeling worthless.

And even that is an understatement.

Depression comes and goes in waves. You could be happy then all of sudden for no reason, you just feel like a massive weight was put on your shoulders.

It's not that we want to die, we just are tired of living. Everyday is a battle in our head. I mean sure most people can get help. They take medicine to make them feel okay, but in the end it never leaves you, we just cover it up.

A fake smile will show on our face, we hide it all. We try to push it deep down inside of us, and find a way to cope. Harming ourselves is a way to cope. In those seconds you feel physical pain, all your mental pain seems to fade. After that first time you hurt yourself, it becomes an addiction.

For me, I don't hurt myself, my father already does that for me. If I want pain to shoot through my body all I have to do is press on a cut or bruise he gave me.

My point is mental pain hurts worse than any other kind of pain. Nobody sees it, even though our eyes give it away. Their blind. Just like nobody knows my father abuses me.

*****

My father hit me again last night. Actually know he didn't hit me, he cut me. He threw a beer bottle at my head. The glass broke and one of the pieces stabbed me in the head.

I ran to my room and quickly pulled it out, stuffing tissues on it to stop the bleeding.

I've been in bed all day. I don't want to move. Everything hurts. Tomorrow is Wednesday. I just wish it could be summer now.

*****

"Good morning Adilynne!" Mr. Ross said as I was the first one in class today.

Mr. Ross was wearing a plaid shirt, blue jeans, and boots.

"Morning," I whispered laying my head on the cold desk.

Today I decided to wear my black converse, a baby pink hoodie, and blue ripped jeans. All through homeroom I notice Mr. Ross staring at me confusingly. I pretend not to notice to prevent any awkwardness and continue talking to Austin.

"You should come over today," Austin said.

Do I look odd or something, I ask myself.

I push away my thoughts and give Austin the best smile I'm capable of giving and agree to go to his house.

*****

In science were continuing to 'expand' our knowledge on chemical reactions. Today Mr. Autry is making us do a lab, if you can even consider it that. He wants us to simply put different amounts of mentos in soda and write down why we think it acted the way it did.

Austin is in my class, along with a lot of desperate girls who seem to like him. Then again, 'like' is an understatement. Their basically obsessed with them.

There's also this really shy girl that sits in the back of the class. She never really talks but she gets bullied a lot. She has a twin brother that sticks up for her but he's not in any of her classes.

I decide to go up to her, "hey! Do you want be my partner the lab?" I ask her give her a warm and welcoming smile.

When I first walked up to her I could tell she jumped a little. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have seen it.

"Oh, um sure," she replied hesitantly.

Her name is Jaleah. She has dark skin, and curly black hair. Her eyes are a really pretty light brown. Her body is slim and her skin is flawless. She's really pretty, even though she seems to have a lot of makeup on. She doesn't need it.

"Alright class everyone go out the back door and head outside to the fence," Mr. Autry told us.

I walked up to Austin and looked at his partner. He got paired with a blonde chick, thats pretty, but mad annoying. Her name is Emma.

I pulled him in for a hug and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Eww! Gross. Y'all need to get a room," Emma said as she twirled her hair around her finger and chewed her gum. Loudly.

Austin leaned into me and kisses me way longer this time. Finally he pulled away, looked at Emma and laughed.

Jaleah and I finished setting everything up before every one. I have handed her the mentos.

"One the count of three," I said, "1....2....3!"

She stopped them in the one liter coke bottle and ran out the way. I was too busy looking for a reaction, when the soda suddenly exposed completely soaking me.

I slowly backed up accidentally touching Jaleah's arm, causing her to jump.

"Sorry," I say while trying to make eye contact with her.

Austin looks over at me and starts busting out laughing. I glare at him and he immediately shuts up. This was one of my favorite hoodies, and now it's going to be stained.

"Damn it!" I yell when I examine my hoodie.

The whole class stops and looks at me. I curse under my breath for causing so much attention to myself. I start to panic.

I turn around away from everyone trying to gasp for air. I try to force myself not to cry, but that fails as soon as I start shaking and sweating. Tears pour from eyes as I feel myself being pulled back inside.