"Taehyung didn't come with you?"

    "No. We're not really talking right now."

Jeongguk stares straight ahead as he walks by his mother's side around the rehabilitation center she was staying at for a few more weeks. Purposely avoiding the look she gives him.

    "What'd you do?" She asks looking up at him. "I know you, you did something."

    "Actually, ma, I didn't do anything." He says looking at her for a second before looking ahead again. "It's actually his fault."

    "What could he have done?" Mrs. Jeon chuckles as she hugs her son's arm. "He's so sweet, Jeongguk. Whatever it is I know he's sorry."

    "I started a medication to help me stop smoking. His friend's kid tells him he saw me taking it and everyone immediately assumes I'm on drugs." Jeongguk says kicking at a rock on the ground. Shoving his hands in the pockets of the jacket he was wearing. "I think it's fair for me to be upset about that."

    "Jeongguk, sweetheart. You know you can tell me anything. No matter where I'm at in my recovery~"

    "I'm not on drugs, ma. I'm trying to quit smoking. Is that a fucking crime?" Jeongguk exclaims in aggravation.

    "You aren't allowed to raise your voice in the peace garden." His mother says in a hushed tone. "And I never said you were. I'm just telling you that if you're thinking about using again you can tell me and I'll talk you through it."

    "I'm past that, ma. I've been past that for years." Jeongguk sighs. "Are you suddenly doubting my sobriety too? Cause I'll add you to the list of 'fuck you's I keep in the meditation journal you sent me."

    "I'm not doubting your sobriety. And I'm glad you're trying to quit smoking. Because your body is a temple and the more you realize that in life the easier it is to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others." His mother nods with a smile. "I know it's hard to be good when everyone starts to doubt or question you. But you can still be good, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk forces himself not to roll his eyes at his mother. He knows that those words are what's getting her through these last few weeks.

    "And I think you should talk to Taehyung. Because he sounded so upset when he called yesterday~"

    "Of course he fucking called you. You're my mom and you're on his side." Jeongguk says, not stopping the eye roll this time. "I can't win."

    "Shut up. He called because he was worried about you. Not to get me on his side." Mrs. Jeon laughs. "I'm always going to be on your side, Jeongguk. And I'm telling you to talk to him even though I'm on your side. Because I know how it feels to get the cold shoulder from a Jeon better than anyone. And so do you."

Jeongguk shakes his head as his mother refers to his father. "I'm nothing like him."

    "You've never seen yourself pissed off." His mother says looking up at him. Still holding on to his arm. "I know it's hard not to take this accusation to heart. But you can't, Jeongguk. And you can't let future accusations hurt you this much either. Because only you know the resilience of your recovery. And the more you let those accusations break you down the more steps you take backward."

    "You're such a wiseass all of a sudden, ma," Jeongguk says rolling his eyes as he takes his arm away. Wrapping it around her shoulders as they continue to stroll through the garden. "But I guess you're right."

    "Have I have steered you wrong?"

    "Do you seriously want me to answer that?"

    "No."

Jeongguk can't help but laugh with his mother for a second. Shaking his head as he thinks about Taehyung. "I just can't believe Taehyung thought I was using. How can I ever tell him about my addiction if he believed his friends so easily? He'll never trust me again."

    "Choose your battles one at a time, sweetheart. Right now, focus on having a conversation about what went on the other day. Then maybe you'll feel better telling him that." Mrs. Jeon says. "He cares about you a lot, Gguk. So much I think he's faking sometimes."

    "Whatever." Jeongguk laughs looking up in annoyance. "Why is it impossible for you to believe someone loves me?"

    "That's not it. It's just hard to believe someone so wonderful loves you. It makes me suspicious." His mother says. "But as time goes on I can tell that he does. And I know you love him. Most guys wouldn't have stepped up the way you did when you found out about Taehyung's pregnancy."

    "It's weird. When he left my apartment that day I knew it wouldn't be the last time I saw him. I literally checked my phone every five minutes for weeks waiting for him to text me. Or for him to call. I felt like an idiot but I knew he would." Jeongguk says with a fond smile. "I never could've predicted that we'd be in this predicament but I'm glad it happened."

    "It's strange how desire can so easily morph into love." Mrs. Jeon says as they stop in front of one of the many ponds in the large peace garden. "But love can never fade into desire."

    "Desire is what gets people." Jeongguk chuckles softly as he looks down at their distorted reflections in the lake. "People usually get trapped by desire."

    "It's true. And that desire fades away with love. And that's when you're left with nothing." His mother says looking up at him. "I know that the love you and Taehyung won't fade away. You guys are like two completely different halves of the same whole. You need each other to feel complete."

Jeongguk smiles at the ridiculous statement. He believed that Taehyung's pregnancy was meant to happen. And that it was what brought them together.

"Well, I have to get going now. It's almost noon." Mrs. Jeon says checking her watch. "I'm glad you came today."

"Yeah. It was good seeing you, ma." Jeongguk says hugging his mom briefly. "I'll come back next week. Two more weeks and you'll be out of here."

"I love you, okay? And you can call anytime." Mrs. Jeon says patting Jeongguk's arm before they go their separate ways for today.

    "See you next week," Jeongguk says before going. Showing himself out of the peace garden. His thoughts completely consumed by Taehyung as he heads back to the house.

He wanted to make things right between them. But it still felt too soon for some reason. Like he wasn't fully over what happened.

Maybe he'd never fully be over it.

~Later that night...~

Taehyung sighs after checking the time for the umpteenth time in the past hour alone. Turning back to his computer and trying not to let Jeongguk distract him from his studies.

It was late now and Jeongguk has yet to return since he left this morning. Taehyung called his mother at the center and she told him that he'd been gone since noon. Which only made him worry more.

But his classes were ending soon and he needed to be sure that he was graduating in March as he planned. Because then he'd have to wait until May and he would have to start job hunting later than he planned. Which would just get him further and further behind.

And he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't continue to let Jeongguk do everything for him and the twins because he knew that it would eventually become a problem. Even if Jeongguk says he doesn't mind.

Taehyung's phone vibrates against the nightstand and he nearly breaks his neck to grab it. Only to see that it's Namjoon calling.

    "Yes?" He answers detachedly. Holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he continues to do his work.

    "Are you still mad at me?" Namjoon asks before anything else. Making Taehyung roll his eyes in aggravation.

    "Oh, no. I'm completely over you spreading false accusations about my boyfriend, Namjoon." He says sarcastically. "You know I can't stay mad at you."

    "That's fair." The older sighs on the other line. "I didn't mean for things to blow this far out of proportion, Taehyung. I was just voicing my concern~"

    "Yeah. To the wrong fucking people." Taehyung says shutting his laptop and taking his phone in his hand. "Now Jeongguk thinks I doubted him. Which I didn't until you and Seokjin planted all kinds of ideas in my head."

    "That's not what I trying to do. I was trying to keep you from getting hurt. Or caught off guard~"

    "Seokjin shouldn't have told you and you shouldn't have told Yoongi or Hoseok. Whatever happened was between him and Jeongguk. None of us." Taehyung says. "And if you were as worried about me as you say you were you would've come to me first, Namjoon. You, Hoseok, and Yoongi have had this thing against Jeongguk from the beginning~"

    "Only because things moved so fast with you two~"

    "Okay? And that's none of your business. I'm an adult, Namjoon. We aren't in fucking high school anymore." Taehyung groans in frustration. "I know how to make the right decisions for myself. I'm an adult, and I have been for a while now. So please stop trying to tell me what's good for me. I know what's good for me."

    "I know you have good intentions, Taehyung. And I know you wouldn't put yourself in a position you didn't want to be in." Namjoon clarifies. "But I think you should at least consider thinking about our perspectives as your friends. You've known us for years, you know we wouldn't do or say anything unless we really thought you needed to hear it. And I think you need to hear this."

Taehyung sighs as Namjoon continues. Closing his eyes as his head starts to ache.

    "You're moving too fast with Jeongguk. You had sex with him once, got pregnant, and now all of a sudden you're saying you're in love with him." He says. "I wasn't trying to paint him out to be the bad guy or make it seem like he's a horrible person when I told Yoongi about the pills. I told Yoongi because I know he doesn't trust him either. And I didn't know how to approach you about the situation. So I thought he would."

    "You don't have to trust him, Namjoon. Because I do." Taehyung stresses. "You wouldn't understand the change that I've seen in him over the past few months because you're never around him. You never talk to him and you never ask about him. But I've seen the change. And that's why I love him. Because he didn't have to change. But he did for me, and for the twins."

    "I wish you'd try to understand~"

    "Try to understand? You want me to try to understand you when you won't even start to understand me?" Taehyung laughs incredulously. "You guys are so convinced that the only reason I'm with Jeongguk is because of the twins. But if that were the case our relationship would've failed a long time ago."

    "Taehyung~"

    "No. Since you need an explanation so badly I'll give you one." Taehyung says cutting Namjoon off. "I'm with Jeongguk because he understands me. And because he listens to what I have to say. And even though I have to force him to tell me how he feels I listen to him too. When I'm upset, he notices. When I feel like shit, he notices. And, unlike you and the rest of my so-called friends, he didn't make me feel alienated when I found out that I was pregnant. And he didn't stop calling, Namjoon. He didn't stop texting and he didn't stop inviting me places because he just 'assumed I wouldn't be up for it.' But do you know who did? You did. And so did Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jimin."

Taehyung continues to fume even though he knows he's getting off subject now. He's wanted to express these things for so long now and he mentally couldn't hold it in any longer.

    "You guys made me feel abandoned and yet you have the audacity to even start to tell me what's good for me? Well, you can go to hell, Namjoon. And you can tell everyone else to go to hell too." He says angrily. "You guys only want to show up to dictate what I do. But when I genuinely needed you, you weren't fucking there. But what do I do? I still let you in. I still let you come over and I let you smile in my face. I even smile in your face because I've let you convince me that only you know what's best for me. And that's not true.

    "Jeongguk could be everything you say he is. He could be an asshole. He could be suspicious all the damn time. And he could even be a fucking addict." Taehyung says with tears in his eyes. "But he's here. He's been here from the beginning of all of this. And that's one thing I can't say about a single one of you."

Namjoon is silent on the other line for a few long moments after Taehyung's rant. Mostly trying to process everything that he's said.

    "I didn't abandon you, Taehyung." He says after a few moments.

    "Yes, you did," Taehyung says through his tears. His voice strained as he tried not to let his emotions get the best of him.

    "I thought you needed space from me," Namjoon says. "After you decided to try things out with Jeongguk I didn't want you to feel like I was intruding. Or that I was trying to make you choose me."

    "What happened to not letting your feelings for me affect our friendship?" The brunette asks.

    "I tried, Taehyung. I fucking tried and it was hard." Namjoon says unsteadily. "I didn't know the others weren't calling or texting~"

    "I don't care that they stopped, Namjoon. You stopped. And you were my best friend." Taehyung says, his voice cracking.

    "'Were?'" Namjoon repeats with a humorless chuckle before falling silent for a moment. Nothing but a tense sigh heard from the other line.

    "Namjoon..." Taehyung starts, trailing off as he holds back the short sob bubbling in his chest. Closing his eyes as he takes the phone from his ear to release the breath he was holding. Bringing it back to his ear once he's gathered himself enough. "I never thought things would go like this. I never wanted things to go like this."

    "What are we doing, Taehyung?" Namjoon asks from the other line. His voice is clear but Taehyung knows him well enough to hear the tears in his eyes. He knows him well enough to detect the pain in his voice.

    "I don't know. But I want us to stop." Taehyung says making them both release short laughs that sound more like broken sobs.

They fall silent for a while. Crying tears that they both thought the other didn't notice.

    "I just think we should give our friendship some time to heal. Not just from this but from everything." Namjoon speaks up first. "We just need to remember who we are. And what we mean to each other."

    "Are you telling me we need to take a break, Namjoon?" Taehyung chuckles jokingly despite his tears.

    "I think we need to take a break." Namjoon repeats, laughing as well despite himself. "Just until we're both comfortable letting each other back in."

    "Two weeks. That's all I can take." Taehyung says. "And that's plenty of time for both of us to breathe before coming together again. And when we do, we'll actually talk about what we need from each other."

    "Two weeks. Got it." Namjoon sighs. "I guess I'll talk to you then."

    "Alright," Taehyung says wiping his tears with his sleeve. "I'll talk to you then."

He takes the phone from his ear and ends the call. Taking a moment to cry to himself before trying to get himself together.

Even though he didn't resolve things with the rest of his friends it felt good to start resolving things with Namjoon.

He hoped that taking a couple of weeks to reflect would make their transition into mending their relationship easier. Because he didn't want to lose Namjoon as a friend. He just wanted to be happy. With Jeongguk and with Namjoon.

Just in two totally, completely, different ways.

~~

Sorry I missed yesterday 😭