"Thanks for meeting me."

    "I was surprised when you texted. I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me."

Seokjin smiles sadly as he and Jeongguk take a seat at one of the picnic tables in the park.

    "You didn't look great at court yesterday so I wanted to meet up." He says. "Just to give you a chance to explain what happened. And to make sure you were okay."

    "I'm okay. I'm just not in a good place mentally. I've never had my heart broken before so I'm just kinda going through the motions." Jeongguk says with a humorless laugh, looking down at his hands as he fidgets. "I wanted to see Jaehyung and Hanjae. Since they turn one month today, but it's not Saturday. So I can't."

    "I'm sorry, Jeongguk. I really am." Seokjin sighs. He's ever seen Jeongguk so disheveled.

    "It's just crazy. All of this." The ravenette says looking off, still jittering restlessly. "You see them more than I do and I'm their dad. Just because you guys got the wrong idea."

    "What do you mean?" Seokjin asks.

    "I'm not a bad guy, hyung. All my life I've gone out of my way not to be a bad person." Jeongguk sighs. "I've never cheated anyone. I've never hurt anyone intentionally. And I've never killed anyone. Because I'm not that guy. My brother, and my dad. They're the bad guys, not me."

Seokjin stays silent. Giving Jeongguk the opportunity to continue.

    "Who I am when I'm around Taehyung is who I want to be all the time. When I'm with you guys, that's who I want to be. That's who I am." Jeongguk says, looking down as tears form in his eyes. "That's the person that my father won't accept. The person he tried to beat out of me. I'm not anything that he ever wanted in a son. Because I don't have what it takes to make innocent people suffer."

    "Jeongguk," Seokjin says laying his hand on top of Jeongguk's trembling ones.

    "Before Taehyung no one cared about me. And I didn't care about anyone." Jeongguk says through his tears. "I never knew how to love someone. I didn't know I could love someone. Before him I had no one to protect but myself. Then all of a sudden I had all these people to protect and I was desperate enough to do anything. Which is where I fucked up. I can admit that. But the only reason I did that was to keep everyone safe."

    "I understand." Seokjin says trying to calm him now.

    "Taehyung said he didn't know me anymore. But he was the only person that ever truly did know me, hyung. He was the only person I could genuinely be myself around. And he didn't judge me." Jeongguk says wiping his tears. "Now all he sees me as is this horrible person. Who does horrible things. Who's done horrible things."

Seokjin swallows his own tears. "You aren't a horrible person, Jeongguk. I know you love him. He loves you too."

    "He doesn't~"

    "He does." Seokjin says firmly. "You can't just stop loving someone."

Jeongguk shakes his head. Covering his face with his hands. "I feel so screwed  up, hyung. Things weren't supposed to go like this. We were happy, we were gonna be a family."

Seokjin sighs, he felt so bad for Jeongguk. He just didn't know what to say to comfort him right now.

    "You don't have to feel sorry for me, hyung. I did this to myself. It's my fault." Jeongguk says when he sees Seokjin's expression. "I should've walked out of that family the minute I found out Taehyung was pregnant. Things would be so different."

    "Why didn't you?"

    "I don't know. I-I was just afraid of what my dad would do."

    "I wish there was something I could do. I hate seeing you like this." Seokjin says. "Taehyung's...he's so hurt, Jeongguk. You know he isn't usually like this. He just wants to hurt you back for lying to him."

    "I didn't lie. I kept things from him, but I never lied." Jeongguk clarifies. "I only hid things to protect him."

"I believe that, I really do. But me believing you isn't going to change anything~"

    "You could convince him to talk to me." Jeongguk says, immediately earning a look from Seokjin. "You're like his best friend now. He'll listen to you~"

    "He didn't listen when I told him not to file for custody. So I doubt that." He says before Jeongguk finishes. Causing the younger to deflate with a sigh. "You just have to be strong, Jeongguk. Don't let this distract you from what's important."

    "The twins are important to me."

    "Then focus on getting joint custody. Focus on finding a good job, and then get yourself a nice apartment in a decent neighborhood. Before you know it you'll be able to see the twins whenever you want."

    "Six months is a long time to go with only seeing my kids once a week for an hour." Jeongguk says reaching into his pocket. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

    "I thought you were quitting." Seokjin says raising an eyebrow.

    "I am." Jeongguk says bringing the vape pen to his lips.

Seokjin shakes his head but he doesn't say anything else about it.

    "I did the math. And I only get to see them about twenty four times until the next court date. That means I'll barely even have spent twenty-four hours with them after six months." Jeongguk says, smoke tumbling past his lips as he speaks. "I think that's bullshit."

    "Maybe Taehyung will let you see them more." Seokjin says. "Just because once a week was what the court ordered doesn't mean you can't see them more."

    "You're right." Jeongguk sighs. "It just sucks that I'm missing all the important stuff. I don't get to wake up with them in the middle of the night when they cry. I don't get to change them or pick out their outfits. I don't get to watch them reach milestones. But Taehyung does, he gets to watch them grow. By the time I get joint custody they'll be sleeping through the night and sitting up on their own."

    "They'll still be little, Jeongguk. And you'll still be able to watch them grow." Seokjin says. "I know it feels impossible to get through now, but it isn't. And when you get the chance, you'll be a great dad. I know you will."

Jeongguk nods, he was grateful for Seokjin's words but they don't comfort him in any way.

He just wanted to be in the twins' life. He wanted to do his part as their dad, but he couldn't.

He just had to settle for an hour a week until he got his shit together.

~

"Shh, you're okay. Don't cry, Hanie."

Taehyung sighs as he continues to bounce Hanjae in his arms, the baby crying at the top of his lungs.

It seemed that no matter what Taehyung did Hanjae just wouldn't stop crying. It was wrecking his nerves and he was a complete mess. He didn't know what to do so he called his dad.

He would've called Seokjin but he felt like he called him too much. And it didn't make sense to worry him just because the baby wouldn't stop crying.

"What's wrong, Hanjae?" Taehyung asks patting Hanjae's back, tears forming in his eyes as he tries to comfort the baby. "Why are you crying?"

The knock at the door makes Taehyung sigh in relief before he rushes to let his dad in. He was glad he could still rely on him after all this time.

When he opens it he finds his mother standing at the door instead. "Where's dad?"

    "Your dad's at work, Taehyung. He couldn't just drop everything and rush over. So I came." Mrs. Kim says walking inside the apartment. "What's going on?"

    "I don't know. H-He just won't stop crying. And I tried everything." Taehyung says bouncing Hanjae in his arms as he continues to cry. "I changed him, I fed him, burped him, everything. I tried putting him in his seat. Nothing's working."

    "Let me see." Mrs. Kim says feeling the baby's chubby cheeks. "He isn't running a fever. Let me hold him."

Taehyung hands Hanjae over to his mother. Watching her with a worried expression.

    "I'll see what I can do. You stay here." She says heading to the nursery.

    "Why?" Taehyung asks. "What's wrong?"

    "Nothing's wrong. You're clearly upset, take a break. He's upset, you being upset won't make it any better." His mother says. "It's okay, Taehyung. I've done this twice before."

    "Okay." Taehyung says. "Should I get him a bottle? I just pumped a few hours ago."

    "He's not hungry. He's just a little colicky. I'll take care of it." Mrs. Kim says before taking the baby to the nursery.

Taehyung sighs as he sits down on the couch. His hands shaking as his anxiety starts to calm down. He hated when the boys cried. It always made him so worried.

His mother returns after about fifteen minutes. Hanjae's cries haven calmed down and nearly stopped by now.

    "Is he okay?" Taehyung asks looking up at her. "Is he asleep?"

    "He is. He woke Jaehyung up but they're both fast asleep now." His mom says sitting down on the couch. "They're okay. Babies cry, Taehyung. It's normal."

Taehyung nods, but he can't help the tears that flood his eyes. He tries to wipe them away before his mother sees but it's useless.

    "I don't know why I'm crying." He sniffles, wiping his eyes with his sleeves.

    "You're just upset, that's all." His mom says opening her arms for him. "Come here, let me talk to you."

The brunette sighs as he leans into his mother's embrace. Closing his eyes as it immediately makes him feel better.

    "What's wrong, Taehyung? Honestly." She asks brushing his hair down with her fingers. "You're more of a mess than you usually are."

Taehyung chuckles softly. "I don't know, mom."

    "Yes you do, tell me." She says. "I'll listen. Without judgment for a change."

    "I'm just scared. Of everything." Taehyung says trying to swallow his tears. "When they cry I think I'm doing something wrong. I can't sleep without getting up to check on them every twenty minutes. I hate leaving the house because I'm afraid to drive alone with them in the car. Because what if one of them starts crying? Then they'll both start crying and I can't breathe when that happens. It just feels like I'm suffocating."

    "Every new parent goes through that, Taehyung~"

    "It wasn't supposed to be like this, mom. I wasn't supposed to be alone." Taehyung says through his tears. "This is what I was afraid of in the beginning. Because I knew I couldn't do it alone. And I wasn't supposed to. But then everything changed."

    "You can do it alone, Taehyung. You've been doing it alone for an entire month now." His mom says. "And you're boys are healthy and they're growing like they should. Hanjae's going to grow out of his crying fits. And sooner or later you'll know them both so well that you'll know exactly what each cry means. So you won't have to worry about whether or not you've done something wrong."

Taehyung nods, using his sleeve to dry his tears. "I'm just so scared, mom."

    "You don't have to be. You're doing a great job with them, Taehyung. I'm surprised you're only calling now." Mrs. Kim teases. "When I had your brother I called my mom every ten minutes. Even with your father around."

Taehyung chuckles softly. "I didn't want you to think I couldn't do it on my own. That's all."

    "I always knew you could, Taehyung. I just worry about you so much and I want you to have a good life." His mom says. "I know all you hear are my snide comments and all you see is my shitty attitude. But underneath all that I just want you to be able to take care of yourself. Better than I could take care of myself when I was your age."

    "I understand. I'm trying."

    "I know you are, son. I know you are."