Jeongguk sets the kids up with a movie downstairs before reluctantly walking back up to the bedroom where Taehyung is still sitting grading papers. He closes the door behind himself before he says anything.

    "Is everything alright?" Taehyung asks looking up at him with concern in his eyes.

    "Yeah," Jeongguk nods, walking over and sitting down on the bed. "I had to talk to my sponsor."

Taehyung nods. "That's who's been calling the past few days?"

    "Yeah," Jeongguk nods.

    "They said something about payments from your treatment in 2022." Taehyung says, closing his grade book and sitting it to the side. "Treatment for what?"

Jeongguk looks away, his expression falling blank as he avoids Taehyung's eyes. "Uhm...I was going to tell you..."

    "Tell me what?"

    "I-It happened a while ago, I just never~"

    "What happened a while ago?"

Jeongguk swallows hard, his words caught in the back of his throat. He didn't know how to say this, but he had to say it. He's kept it away from Taehyung for long enough.

Taehyung has a feeling he already knows what he's going to say. "Jeongguk?"

    "I'm sorry," The ravenette says looking up at Taehyung with deep regret and shame behind his eyes. "I was going to tell you it just wasn't ever the right time~"

    "You relapsed?" Taehyung asks, he doesn't sound upset but all Jeongguk sees is disappointment behind his eyes. "After the boys were here?"

Jeongguk releases a shaky breath. "I was going to tell you~"

"But you didn't, Jeongguk." Taehyung says, his eyebrows drawing together. "It's been over seven years since then."

"I know," Jeongguk says closing his eyes for a second. "I would've told you sooner, I wanted to tell you sooner, but I couldn't. Not while the custody trials were still going on~"

"How'd you pass the drug tests if you were using again?" Taehyung asks, things weren't adding up. How could Jeongguk's relapse go completely unnoticed? "Were you high during visitations?"

"So much shit was happening around that time and I wasn't in a good place." Jeongguk tries so explain. "I was trying to cope~"

"There are better ways to cope, Jeongguk~"

"You don't think I know that?"

Taehyung sighs, looking off as he tries to remember if there were any instances where he should've known.

"I was living with one of my friends and I didn't have the willpower to stay away from it." Jeongguk says. "I went to rehab as soon as I moved out. I was clean again by the time I got weekends, I swear."

"You cheated the drug test." Taehyung says shaking his head. "All these years and you never told me."

"If I would've told you then you would've taken them away from me." Jeongguk says. "I couldn't risk that, Taehyung."

"Maybe you could've used the extra time away from them."

"Are you serious?"

"Are you?"

Jeongguk sighs, biting his lip in thought for a moment. "You don't get to be mad at me about this, Taehyung."

"I don't?" Taehyung chuckles.

"No, you don't." The ravenette says looking at him with anger shining behind his eyes. "And you don't get to look down on me because of my past~"

"I'm not looking down on you, Jeongguk~"

"Well it fucking feels like it," Jeongguk snaps. "I messed up, but I corrected myself before it got too bad. You didn't even notice while it was happening. So what the fuck are you upset about?"

"I'm upset that you lied in court," Taehyung says. "You were obviously unfit if you had drugs in your system."

"I'm not listening to this shit, Taehyung." Jeongguk says standing up and walking to the closet. "You always fucking do this."

"What~"

"You make me feel like shit for every mistake I make." Jeongguk says facing him, his jaw tense with anger. "I can't go back and do things differently."

"You should've just done the right thing to begin with." Taehyung says. "Why can't you ever just be honest with me? If I didn't answer the phone just now you would've never told me about this."

"Be honest with you?" Jeongguk laughs, his voice raising in frustration. "Every time I'm honest with you you freak the fuck out and make me feel like a horrible human being. You make it impossible to be honest with you, Taehyung. Because you're so fucking judgmental!"

"I only react the way I do because you wait until the last possible second to tell me anything!" Taehyung says matching his tone.

"Why the fuck are we talking in circles?" Jeongguk says walking into the closet and grabbing a duffel bag. "If I was as judgmental as you we would've been done a long time ago."

"What are you doing?" Taehyung asks as he watches Jeongguk pulls shirts from their hangers and stuff them in his bag.

"I'm not going to stay here and let you make me feel like shit. I do it every fucking time, I try to give you the benefit of the doubt every time, but I won't do it now." Jeongguk says slamming the closet door shut. "I can't handle you right now."

"Where are you going?" Taehyung says standing up as Jeongguk walks to the bathroom.

"Everything I've fucking done for you and this family~"

"Seriously, Jeongguk?"

"Yes seriously!" Jeongguk says slamming the cabinets in the bathroom as he walks out, stopping in front of Taehyung. "Everything I've done for you and this fucking family, everything I've sacrificed to hold us together and you haven't given me credit for shit! Not for taking in Jaein~"

"No one asked you to take her in!" Taehyung yells back defensively. "Don't act like you did us a favor, you wanted to step up for her!"

"Because I fucking love you guys!" Jeongguk snaps, his voice cracking as tears form in his eyes. "I want to marry you,
Taehyung, I want to spend the rest of my life with you! But you make me feel like all I do is fuck up, like I can't do anything right, and it makes me fucking sick sometimes! Why can't I mess up? Why do you get to make mistakes but I don't?"

Taehyung looks at him wordlessly, his throat tightening with tears.

"Every time something goes wrong, or you get into trouble, I fix it. I don't judge you and make you feel bad about it. I don't tell you that you should've done things differently!" Jeongguk yells through his tears. "You've done a million shitty things and you've never heard me judge you about it once. You tried to take my fucking kids away from me and I never once resented you for that. I loved you even then, Taehyung. When it felt like you couldn't give two shits about me, I fucking loved you."

"Jeongguk~"

"I need a break." Jeongguk says walking away, wiping his face as he skips down that stairs.

"Jeongguk, please," Taehyung says following him down. "I'm sorry, I didn't~"

"I can't fucking handle you right now, Taehyung, I'm not fucking kidding." Jeongguk says snatching his arm away when Taehyung reaches for him. "Just let me go."

"Appa?" Hanjae says from the couch, the three of them looking over as Jeongguk storms down the stairs.

"Jeongguk, please don't leave." Taehyung says following him to the front door.

Jeongguk turns to him, angry and hurt tears in his eyes. "You've done a dozen things to make me hate you, Taehyung, and I've never hated you. I love you, I can't help it. If you love me~"

"I do love you." Taehyung says, tears welling his eyes as well.

"Then leave me the hell alone." Jeongguk says before turning and walking out, slamming the front door behind himself.

Taehyung stands there for a minute, tears falling down his face as he listens to Jeongguk's care pulling out of the driveway.

"Appa?"

Taehyung turns around at the sound of Jaein's voice, finding her standing there with Jaehyung and Hanjae. "Go watch the movie, guys."

"Where's Appa?" Jaehyung asks, his eyes worried as he watches Taehyung's eyes flood with tears.

"Come on, guys, back to the movie." The brunette says through his tears, ushering them to the couch. "Appa's just taking a time out, okay?"

The kids look unconvinced as Taehyung turns the movie up and walks to the kitchen. He leans against the counter, a few silent sobs leaving his lips as he wipes his eyes.

He wanted to call Jeongguk, he wanted to beg him to come back so they could talk and move past this. But he knew he couldn't, Jeongguk asked for space.

And he deserved the space he was asking for.