A/N:

Holaaaaaaa😗💕✨

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So how was the last chapter?

It's as if y'all don't like talking to me biko. You go just read, disappear 😔.

It's alright...

Song for this chapter ~ROCK AND A HATD PLACE by BENJAMIN ZIMMERMAN 

Let's move.

~18 - where this ends°

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"you hurt me everytime, apologize sometimes, but
You don't really care. . ."
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~Toyo

The door creaked open, almost immediately after I rang the doorbell, revealing the dark curly headed kid.

He still had his school uniform on, looking tattered, eyes half shut, blinking slowly at a particular pace, a smile spread across his face as he used the door post to hold himself.

Omoh...

I stared at him, as a low chuckle escaped his lips.

What exactly is funny?

"Aren't you going to come in?" He asked, taking my hand in his, having light zings go through me, feeling my entirety freeze up before I was pulled in, the door shutting close behind us with a loud thud.

"What's up?" I just had to ask. "Are you okay?" I prodded when it seemed like I wasn't going to get an answer.

There was silence for a while.

Not comfortable, not uncomfortable, just there. . . Silence.

"I'm okay," I knew he was lying.

"Why would you think I'm not?" He asked after a little pause.

"You're drunk," I replied, my voice coming out almost as a whisper as I caught a glimpse of the almost empty bottle of whiskey on the table in the living room.

Side stepping him to head there, picking up the bottle and scruntinizing it.

"Can you stop doing that?" He moved to where I was, pulling the bottle out if my hands and throwing it away somewhere in the room.

The sound of shattering glass had me covering my ears with both hands, as silent screams escaped my lips.

"Come here," he had his hands spread wide open, silently asking for a hug, waiting for me to walk into his embrace.

But I didn't.

I didn't as memories from 'the last time' started to come back...

He walked to me instead, pulling me into a hug, pushing me closer to him, pressing himself against me.

I didn't hug him back. . . I couldn't.

I couldn't for the life of me get my limbs to move.

I closed my eyes shut.

He was drunk. . . I was at his place.

He started to trail his fingers up my thighs, disappearing under my skirt. . .

I felt all of my entirety stiffen, my feet rooted to the ground as memories of that night hit me like a whiplash.

I felt his breath fan the space behind my earlobe before his lips finally settled on my nape, daintily.

Honestly, it felt like a thousand cockroaches we crawling up my skin. . . I pressed my eyelids closer together, trying so hard to merge them into one.

He placed a light kiss there, eliciting a gasp from me, one that had my all the hairs on my skin stand at attention, my body stiffening even more, if that was possible.

He scooted closer to me, his other arm going over the armrest of the couch before settling on my shoulder, caressing it.

He brought his lips to my cheeks, very close to my earlobe, pressing a light kiss there.

I chuckled.

"Emeka, you're drunk," I had told him, trying to prevent his hand from disappearing further into my skirt. Squirming, moving this way and that...

I knew he could sense my discomfort, but he didn't care... he didn't.

"Hold still," he breathed against my skin, the hand caressing my shoulder, coming to hold my neck in a loose hold, holding me in place, I guess...

"Emeka, stop it," he dropped his head to my neck, nibbling on my skin.

I tried pushing him away, but his grip on my neck tightened, choking me.

"Stop!" I screamed whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.

One minute, we we're seated on the couch, with me trying to calmly tell him or rather show him how uncomfortable he was making me, and the next minute he was over me, his body so close to mine, his tongue doing dangerous things to my neck, my hands pinned over my head as tears streamed down my face.

"Please,stop!" I screamed over and over again. Begged, but to no avail.

And he kept whispering profanities to me...

"I really do love you," was the last thing I heard from him before he was pulled away from me...

I felt tears drop from my eyes, right before I pushed him away from me with strength I believe was anger.

"What the fuck?!" He yelled.

He had stumbled a few steps back, now staring at me with arched brows.

Can you cut it out?!" I found myself screaming. The look of shock on his face had me totally irritated as I prayed for the ground to miraculously open up and swallow me.

If only I could just magically disperse into the nothingness. I felt like trash, like I was naked and standing before an entire crowd, being mocked, finding it difficult to hold his torturing gaze.

"Sandra," He called my name almost quietly, like it was something fragile that would break if he had been any louder.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked taking steps towards me. "I want to go home," I told him the exact same moment he got to where I was.

The feel of his fingers on my arm had me veering back in fear.

And he felt it.

He felt it, but still didn't take his hands off me. He brought his other hand to rest on my other arm, moving them slowly up and down in what he thought would be a soothing mechanism.

"You're so pretty," he breathed out, his voice raspy, eyes shut.

The actual fuck?

"Emeka I—"

"Shhh," he tucked an errant braid away behind my ear, before bringing his hand to rest on my right cheek. His thumb gently caressing it.

I felt my heartbeat race, beating faster than unusual, threatening to tear down my rib cage and burst open my chest.

"Emeka I-I please..." I felt tears stream down my face as I tried to control my hard breathing. "I just need time," I found my voice. "I can't do this, not now," I closed my eyes again, shaking my head repeatedly.

And I heard him chuckle, right before he took his hands off me.

I blinked my eyes open.

"Yeah, right. I make one mistake and you've decided to deprive me of yourself and you think I'm stupid, ba?" He tucked his hands in his pockets, moving backwards a few steps before dropping on the grey couch directly opposite to me.

"What do you mean?" I raised a brow at him, astonishingly looking at the guy I supposedly fell in love with.

God abeg...

"Don't ask me stupid questions, biko. You continue to act oblivious every single time, guy and it infuriates me,"

Hope it's not me he just called 'guy'?

"I'm acting oblivious?" I chuckled humorlessly sniffing back my tears. "How the hell could you say that?"

He just sat there, looking at me like I had lost my mind, bobbing his head to the side to peer at me.

"You are the one who's acting oblivious here! You! You, Emeka you!" I was now screaming at the top of my voice, totally disgusted and angered by that statement.

"Keep your voice down!" He shouted back.

"Why?" I used the back of my palm to wipe away the fresh tears that were starting to fall. "Because I decided to stand up for myself?"

"You're just acting like a crazy person, girl. Knock it off!"

"Me? Crazy person?" I chuckled. "You must be joking."

He had to be joking. He can't be doing this right now.

"Honestly, I'm sick and tired of whatever it is that you're always trying to pull off. What exactly is your problem?! What exactly don't you get?! Ehn, Sandra? Ogini?!" He snapped, rising to his feet, his height towering over me, eyes wide open, screaming at me.

"You're clearly the one with a problem," I replied him, more tears streaming down my face. "Do you realise that you just called me crazy? Do you understand what you just did?—

Never in my life would I have imagined that you'd be one of them. Never had I thought that you'd bring up anything concerning my mental state into our arguments.—

What exactly have I done?! What?! After telling you so many times that I didn't want to be sexually intimate with you, after telling you so many times that I'm not mentally prepared for that, you still chose to force yourself on me the other night," I sniffed back my tears, wiped my face with my palm before continuing.

"If David hadn't miraculously arrived there that night, do you understand the gravity of what could have occurred?" I spoke calmly, trying to explain to him without raising my voice. Hoping he would maybe understand where I was coming from.

"I was drunk," he protested.

"Just like you are today," I pointed out.

"I'm not drunk,"

"So you're actually trying to force yourself on me?" I asked, shocked.

"Sandra,"

"No, you actually tried to force yourself on me? Oh my goodness..." on their own, my feet started to move away from him.

"Babe, relax! I'm not forcing myself on you,"

"Then, what exactly are you doing?" I asked.

"What exactly did you expect? You don't even let me hold you anymore. Do you know how that makes me feel? And to top it all, I continuously see you with David, hugging him, giving you forehead kisses, when you won't even let me hold your hand.—

And I sit somewhere watching you both, being mocked by my by friends?—

No, you don't know how I feel, do you?" His eyes had turned red, gleaming with unshed tears, the anger in his demeanor evident, his voice above an octave as he rapped out in one breath.

"You never really cared about how I feel. It's always been all about you. What you want from me, what you want to do with me, who is mocking you because you've not touched me yet..."

I counted with my fingers as I spoke.

"You're talking about how you feel? Have you ever considered how I feel? How uncomfortable I get around you? Even when I tell you, you act like it's not your problem.—

Well, maybe it was never your problem. You've always made it clear to me that I was basically an object of pleasure, but stupid me...

Even after seeing the red flag multiple times, damn! You waved the red flag in my face a billion times but I was scared of leaving you... scared of being away from you." He was staring at me, red eyes, tears streaming out of them, fallen shoulders, lips pressed tightly together as he watched me, like he felt sorry.

But I knew better. God forbid I let his tears deceive me again.

"Stupid me kept begging you even times when I didn't understand what I did wrong. And what did you do?" I paused, stared at him as he continuously shook his head, muttering things that sounded like my name, but I didn't care anymore.

"Sometimes, you'll block me everywhere, other times you're having a party with Amarachi and her girls, having them send "someone is jealous" messages to my dms and flooding their statuses with videos of the atrocities that happened.—

And you stand here talking about mockery?" I let out a humorless chuckle, fluttering my eyes close but the burn I felt from the hot tears had me blinking the back open almost immediately.

"I've not only been mocked, I've been dragged through the mud by our classmates. Because why on earth would my supposed boyfriend be in a video with three other girls and they're all kissing each other?

People taunted me every time, Emeka. Every single time and you think that's worse than the fact that you haven't had sex with me?" My vision was blurred with tears.

I felt so weak, so drained, like something I was holding inside of me came out. My couldn't hold me up properly anymore.

I saw him rush towards me the moment I fell to the ground, but I was able to push his hands away before they could touch me.

"And you wonder why David always tells me you're toxic for me? Lmao Emeka! You know my mental state, but you never cared.—

You never asked me how therapy was, never asked me about my day, you never pick my calls, and when you text, it's because you're in the mood to talk sexual things.

It's always been you and that thing you have under there, you never cared about me... I never really mattered."

"Sandra, please,"

"No, please let me talk today. You know I never really liked my name, Sandra, but you insisted on wanting to call me that and it suddenly became soothing to hear, so calming, until this moment.

I hate that name more than I used to! Anytime I hear it, it'll remind me of you and what you did to me! And I'll loose my mind!" I screamed, pressing my hands against my ears, my breathing rigid as loud gasps escaped my lips.

I brought my hands to my chest, feeling my heart thud rapidly against it.

It felt like all the air in my lungs were clogged, finding it difficult to breathe...

The look of fear and realization on Emeka's face had him searching around the room for something.

Finding my purse, he fished out my inhaler and pressed its content in my face.

"Are you okay?" He asked a few minutes after I had calmed down.

"You don't care, stop with the pretense and false show of affection. It makes me sick," I replied, standing up to pick my purse.

"I'm sincerely done with this, Emeka. For the sake of my sanity I have to do everything in my power to stay away from you. There is no "KASI" any longer.

I can't do this with you anymore, going around in endless circles like a fool with no voice. I'm done," and with that I dragged myself out of that house, taking a mental not to never return there.

A/N:

Hey!😗 who missed my ass?😗 I know it's a late update but bear with me because y'all are going to be having slow updates from now cause your girl is preparing for Jamb and I don't wanna fail sooo...

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